A knock on my bedroom door brought me from my slumber. He wasn't supposed to come tonight. . . Why is he here? My head felt light from the sudden alertness that overwhelmed me. I was afraid that it might be someone else. What if his wife found out? Her friends would kill me and only scold him. Oh, the troubles of being that man's mistress.

My feet found their way to the cold floor. My heart is racing. I stuttered out the question, "W---ho is it?" I cannot begin to describe how nervous I was.

"You know who it is. . . Open the door Yumi . . .," the voice called out to me from behind the door.

I was suddenly relieved when I heard his voice. Why do I always dread the day his wife will find out about me? She was no stronger than I. . . "I'm coming . . .," the strength in my voice revealed it as I made my way to the door. The door opened with a creak, "Why are you here tonight? I thought you had to go to the Chunin exams." I opened the door all the way. "Not that I'm not happy to see you. . ."

He embraced me closely. "I told Sakura that I would be leaving early for the Chunin exams. . . But, I decided to stay the night with you, before I go. . ." His lips crashed against mine. Oh, heavens! Why did he have to be so wonderful?

My arms found their way around his waist, my mouth opening allowing his hot demanding tongue to enter. I could not help but moan slightly as he deepened his kisses more. Suddenly he picked me up and took me to my bed. . .

"I have to go soon. Buddha knows that Naruto is having a heart attack by now. . ." He was about to get up from the bed into I pulled him back down.

"Why do you have to go . . .?" With a sigh, I noticed the look that he gave me. "I know, I know, it's your duty is the Kazekage . . . Gaara . . ." I kissed him passionately. "I'll ask what I always ask when you leave me in this bedroom alone. . . Will you leave Sakura? Please. . . You know how much I cannot stand seeing you with that woman. I want to slowly burn her flesh off her bones, I wan-" He silenced me with a kiss of his own.

How much I hate it when he does that. . . I can never say no to him. . .

"I cannot leave her . . . anymore than I can leave you. . ." His fingers trailed my cheek, making little circles. "Please try to understand."

I nodded, not saying anything more. I knew that he wouldn't leave her for the sake of his best friends Lee and Naruto. Sakura chosen him after Sasuke went to Orochimaru. They were not about to risk her heart being broken again. They love her but she loves my Gaara.

"Fine, leave. . . Just. . ." I kissed him one more time. "Come back to me soon as possible."

His smile always made me melt. "Of course, I wouldn't dream of being away from you anymore than I have to." It wasn't long before he was dressed to leave me again. "I have to go now." He made his way toward the door.

"Gaara, I" He shut the door on my words. "-love you. . ." I sighed and laid back on my bed where we made love. He never wants to hear those words from me. The answer was in his actions.

I love him. . . I never loved anyone else. . . I begged him . . . time and time again to leave the bitch he calls a wife. . . I wish he would just do what I say. . . But then again . . . I'm only his mistress. . . I have no words in his decisions. . .

Oh, God! I wish I had much time than this. . . It was the week that Gaara returns from the Chunin exams. I am panicking, my little heart beating fast. I detest what I have to tell him when he comes through my door. Already my sanity was falling apart. I was completely afraid of what he would say. I can only hope for the impossible.

The knock came. "Yumi? It's me . . . open the door." The moment has come.

My steps were more hesitant, my voice took a fearful tone, "Co- . . . coming. . ." Oh, Gods, even my hands were shaking.

He looked at me strangely as he walked into my apartment. "What's with you? You're trembling." He tried to run his fingers through my frost blue hair.

Just then, I stepped back, away from his touch. . . Just for the moment. "I. . . have have som. . . something to tell. . yo-. . .u." He was about to come closer and a stopped him with my shaking hand raised. "Give. . . me. . .a moment." I was a bundle full of nerves.

He stood there, giving me the time I needed. I could tell that he was confused as hell. "What's wrong?"

Ok. . . here goes all hell breaking lose on me. . . "Gaara . . . I'm pregnant. . ." Amazingly I said that without stuttering. . . I looked at him with my watery deep crimson eyes. "Are. . . you mad?" I practically winced at the angry growl he made.

I heard him swallow hard. This was not looking good for me. "Kill it. . ."

My heart beating faster with that said. . . I can't believe I'm actually going to say this. . . I sighed deeply, binding my time. "You know that more than anything I wanted to have a child, especially your child."

Gaara turned his back to me with these words, "It's either me or that thing in your stomach. You choose. . ." He was silent for a moment. "I'm giving you an hour. If you are not bleeding when I get back, I'm leaving and I'm never coming back." He closed the door behind him.

I sank to my knees. How could he force me to choose between him and our baby?! My heart couldn't take this. All my life I wanted a baby. . ., but I love Gaara.

Over fifty-five minutes I debated with myself. Gaara. . . or our baby. Well, he wouldn't leave Sakura either way. . . I can still keep my baby. Gaara will live happily ever after with his bitch of a wife. Everyone's happy. . .

Well, I suppose not everyone. . . Gaara will have an illegitimate family running around in the Sand. . . My child will probably ask who his father is. . . What do I tell him/her? "Oh, your father is the Kazekage, but he didn't want us. . ." How do you say that to a child and not sound cold?

On the other hand, if I kill my baby, I wouldn't have to suffer depression. . . But I'll feel guilty and hurt that I had to kill the one thing precious to me. I knew that my time was almost up. I can feel the hand turning, waiting for my answer to this horrible decision.

My heart is racing, knowing what I was going to do before I knew. . . I picked up my kunai and aimed it at my stomach.

By: Rasaroara