Luigi's Mansion: Parody!
Summary: The timid Luigi has always been second to his brother, Mario, but when he wins a mansion in a contest he never entered and Mario gets trapped inside, it's up to the little brother to face the cartoony singing ghosts and save him! Contains: self insertion, swearing, a few OCs, some Peach bashing and more! R&R!
A/N: I got bored and had a sudden strike of inspiration, so I decided to start writing this.
Yeah, that's it... I don't own Luigi's Mansion, Matrix, Legend of Zelda, Ghost Busters,
Chapter 1 – Ghosts Are Scary!
Our story starts on a dark night in the Boo Woods. In the seemingly empty forest walked a tall man; he wore a fedora on his brown hair and a long trench coat that seemed to billow in the breeze. He also wore a pair of badass shades and walked with an air of intimidation that would make even the manliest men think twice about messing with him.
"Woa woa woa, we're talking about Luigi's Mansion here, not freaking Matrix!" Shouted a random toad.
Fine...our hero is actually a man wearing a long-sleeved green sweater and a pair of overalls over it, complete with a pair of gloves, brown shoes and a cap with a 'L' on it that matched the color of the sweater. He walked through the eerie woods, carrying a flashlight in one hand and a wrinkled up map in the other.
However, he was completely and utterly lost.
"Where is that mansion at, I've been going in circles!" He wondered out loud. Just when he was about to give up, a crow that had been watching him like a creeper decided to swoop down and snatch the map with its beak. Once Luigi had gotten over the surprise, he started chasing the crow, yelling "GIVE ME THAT BACK YOU DAMN CROW!"
Minutes later, when Luigi got tired of chasing, he stopped to catch his breath, but when the green clad plumber looked up, he was surprised to see that by some miracle, or curse, he managed to chase the crow to the mansion. Ominous lightning struck behind it.
Luigi, shaken but still determined, walked into the double doors of the mansion and shining his flashlight in. As he walked in, he noticed the room looked like a foyer. With a door covered in vines, a staircase and a chandelier on the ceiling that wasn't on, leaving the room dark save for the glowing vines on the first door.
Deciding that the glowing vines weren't enough sign that it was dangerous, he tried opening the door and got many splinters in the process.
"MARIIIOOO!" He called out, but to no avail as the younger Mario brother was met with silence. For a minute, he didn't know what to do, but then an orange light appeared that looked to be holding a key. Once the orb of light noticed Luigi, it started floated away up the stairs. And Luigi, like the genius he was, ignored the key it dropped and chased it.
"SHINY!" He cried, "Come back!"
The light flew into the door, disappearing but Luigi, being solid, ran into the door and fell on his butt.
He then walked back to the foyer and tripped on the key. Once he saw it, he held it up Legend of Zelda style with a 'dun dun dun duuun!'
"So we're referencing Legend of Zelda now...?" Luigi asked.
Shut up and don't break the fourth wall.
"Okay, okay, geez :T"
And no emotes!
Luigi then walked over to the door the 'shiny' flew into and unlocked it in a very slow manner. Inside was a parlor with a table, a desk, paintings, a few candles that lit the dark room and other stuff I don't feel like explaining.
He anxiously walked through the room when suddenly; an orange ghost looking thing appeared. Luigi did what every horror movie character would do, crawl away on his butt instead of getting up and running. Just when the plumber was sure it was over for him, the ghost then seemed to be pulled away and he noticed a short old man wearing a old lab coat, brown shoes, huge glasses and a small patch of hair on his mostly bald head. He was sucking up the ghost with what appeared to be a vacuum while the 'Ghost Busters' theme was playing in the background.
He managed to chase the ghost around the room until the ghost punched the old guy in the face before disappearing after. After getting over the shock, Luigi walked over to the old man.
"I'm getting too old for this ghost busting tom foolery!" The old man said.
"I'll say!" Luigi added. The old man made a slightly annoyed face. "Err-I meant to say you're not that old, you could pass for 80!"
"I'm 70."
". . ."
"Anyway, this mansion seems to be getting creepier and creepier the more I come, and more ghost infested." The old man explained. [That's the 8th time I said the word 'old' in this scene, lol]
"So gramps, have you seen my bro, he looks like me, but wears red." Luigi explained.
"I'm not 'gramps', my name is-" The old man began but was interrupted when a crap ton of ghosts appeared!
"HOLY SHIT!" Cried Luigi in surprise.
"We better get out of here, post-haste, I'll explain everything later!" The old man said before running out the mansion with Luigi.
After the two ran like hell out of the mansion, they made it to what the old man says is his lab, but it looked like a out house.
"Uhh...that's one small lab." Luigi mused.
"Just watch." The old man said, he went into the out house looking place and Luigi followed, inside there was a ladder that went into the ground and inside was a huge lab, complete with computers and other gizmos and gadgets.
Luigi was completely gape mouthed. Soon the two sat down on some chairs.
"As I was saying, I'm Professor Elvin Gadd, but E. Gadd for short. What you saw back there were ghosts. They used to be kept in paintings but recently, the little buggers escaped and built that mansion, so I've been trying to hunt down every last one of them, but with all they're energy combined, the ghosts are much stronger and have become harder to catch." E. Gadd explained.
Luigi nodded, having almost fell asleep during his ghost lecture. "But what about my bro, is he alright?" He asked, absent-mindedly scratching his butt.
"I have seen him. He was going into the mansion and I warned him that he can't fight a ghost through physical strength, but the man called me crazy and left anyway. Haven't seen the feller since." E. Gadd replied. Luigi looked around nervously. What if the ghosts ate him, or made him watch the Twilight movies! The horror!
"Relax, they're not gonna eat the man! If you want to save your brother, you need my help!"
Luigi thought for a minute and smirked. It's about time he was the star! And at least it's not that annoying Princess Peach that he has to save, otherwise, he'd just leave.
"I'm Luigi." Luigi finally introduced.
"Luigi?! As in Luigi Mario?!" Called a shrill feminine voice. Then a teenage girl ran in who was wearing a yellow sweater, black leggings, dark yellow boots and a lab coat not unlike Elvin's. Her hair was brown and tied into a ponytail with a cowlick and wore glasses over eyes matching her hair. Luigi sheepishly nodded and the girl ran over and started shaking Luigi's hand.
"I'm Marlene Gadd, leader of the Luigi fanbase. It's a honor to meet you in person!" She greeted, still shaking his hand.
"Err, likewise." Luigi greeted back, caught off guard by the revelation that he actually has a fan base. He then made a mental note to rub that in his brother's face when he finds him, along with the fact that he has a better girlfriend. Heh.
"She's my niece." E. Gadd explained. Luigi's mouth was once again gaped. Then again, they did have a little resemblance. In a weird way.
"So, are you ready for some tough, badass, off-screen ghost training?" E. Gadd asked. Luigi then nodded and asked, "Does it have to be off screen?"
"Yes, the author is too lazy to write the whole training scene." E. Gadd replied. "Once we're done, you'll be ready to face the ghosts that took your brother!"
Luigi then put on a face of determination and nodded.
- MEANWHILE -
Inside the mansion, the king of Boos, King Boo, sat-err floated in the middle of an altar. The room was made of many rare materials, giving it a shine. The ghost was facing a painting and inside the painting was none other than Mario Mario. The plumber in question was trying to get out by hitting it, but to no avail.
"Mario, my enemy, how does it feel to be trapped inside a painting? Finally, after years of being beaten by you, you're my prisoner! I have won, and you have lost! And now, all I need is to take over all of Mushroom Kingdom in the name of boos everywhere!" And to finish his evil monologue, the ghost let out a long evil laugh. However, his laughter was interrupted when another Boo, smaller and sans a crown, phased through the door.
"Your Highness!" He called.
"This better be good if you interrupted my evil laugh session for it." The ghostly king warned. The Boo somehow gulped even though he doesn't have a throat and continued nervously.
"The 4th Boo division reported seeing a lime green man in the foyer, do you think it might be...?"
"Luigi." King Boo and Mario both finished. "But bro is afraid of his own shadow! How could he be here?!" Questioned Mario, confused.
"SILENCE, PRISONER!" Snapped King Boo. He then thought for a minute and turned to the messenger Boo with a smirk.
"You know, this painting is nice, but missing something. I would like a Luigi painting to match!" He said, causing Mario to gasp! "Brooser, go alert all the ghosts to get to their stations and watch out for Luigi!" The Boo nodded and ran off before King Boo added "And order some pizza, but don't you dare order pinapple!"
Once Brooser was gone, King Boo rubbed his hands together in an evil manner and continued his evil laugh. Mario sighed.
"I'm doomed."
Chapter 1 is done! So now Luigi has to save his brother. And we've met the fangirl, Marlene and the messenger Boo, Brooser. [a play on the word 'Bruiser'.] Since my stomach hurts like hell right now, I'm gonna stop my chapie here. See you next time!