Disclaimer: Don't own the song or Evo characters.
Summary: Finally, the sun breaks through, but Todd still feels he's left in the shadows. When no options seem to be left to pull him away from the pain...a metal barrel with a bullet inside seems the only option.
A/N: There was a request for a sequel...so I searched and I searched, and I took a lot of asprin to cure my headaches, and finally narrowed the sequel song to this. The song is "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park. Great song, great cd too. Anyway, here you go! BTW, no one is singing outloud, this is what Todd is singing in his mind.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sunlight broke through the gloom of night that had settled inside Todd's room, giving the aging interior a misted look. In the midst of it all, Todd sat with his back to the door. He couldn't take this pain anymore, he couldn't take one more order from that bastard of a father Wanda had, or likewise an order from the wanna be son. He had let it all pile up around him, just trying to brush his emotions aside. Now they encased him inside a prison that had no lock to pick. So much like the orphanage. HA, if only his disowning parents could see him. Would they even feel remotely sorry? No, why would they? They had stopped caring about him even just slightly when his mutation started to surface. Not even the most open foster parents had shunned him away...but no, they pampered the other kids they were watching. One had lost her eye and her face had been permantly scarred in a fire. She looked way worse than him, even had a worse attitude. But she was the princess to them...he was just someone there to do their bidding.
Memories consume.
Like opening the wound.
I'm picking me apart again.
You all assume.
I'm safe here in my room.
Unless I try to start again.
He reached under his bed, searching around and finding a small box. He pulled it out, just staring blankly at it for a minute. It was old and dust covered, made out of thin pieces of wood, like something one would make at summer camp. He ran his hand over the top, chasing away the dust before flipping the lid off. He looked down into the shallow box...finding one of the two items interesting. The first item he pulled out was a pocket knife, and he flipped it open, studying the dull blade on it. Suddenly he didn't care about anything anymore except this blade. But his mind went to Wanda. He didn't want to leave her, but who was he kidding. She hated him, it was better this way. But he was going to leave a document of his torment for them to find when they remembered that they hadn't seen him all day. Slowly, he let the knife blade loose on the underside of his wrist.
I don't want to be the one
the battles always choose.
'Cause inside I realize
that I'm the one confused.
He watched the blood roll down his arm, setting the knife down he ran his fingers over the crimson liquid and approached the wall. He began to draw, at first it was just smears of blood on the wall, but it slowly began to take shape...
I don't know what's worth fighting for,
or why I have to scream.
I don't know why I instigate
and say what I don't mean.
I don't know how I got this way.
I know it's not right.
So I'm breaking the habit.
I'm breaking the habit.
Tonight.
He took a wobbly step back and studied the work on his wall. It was a good self portrait...he was sitting in chains, his eyes closed, pools of blood around him. It made his feel even worse to look at the picture. It was how he felt inside...shackled. No one had ever seen that, he was just someone who had no depth...but how wrong they were. He looked at the second item in the box, his hand began to quiver slightly as he reached for it. A pistol, only loaded with one bullet, as if he had been saving it for this day. He held the antidote to his torment in his hands, looking at it, contemplating.
Clutching my cure.
I tightly lock the door.
I try to catch my breath again.
I hurt much more
than any time before.
I had no options left again.
I don't want to be the one,
the battles always choose.
'Cause in the end I realize
that I'm the one confused.
I don't know what's worth fighting for,
or why I have to scream.
I don't know why I instigate
and say what I don't mean.
I don't know how I got this way.
I'll never be alright.
So I'm breaking the habit.
I'm breaking the habit.
Tonight.
He inhaled a ragged breathe, lifting the gun to his left temple, his finger resting on the trigger. There was no turning back now, only an angle could save him. He heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and started to pull the trigger as Wanda hexed open his door. The look on her face would have been done injustice to be put into words. He lightly relaxed his grip on the trigger, there was something he needed to tell her first.
"Wanda, I know you'll never accept me for who I am. But, that's ok now. I just wanted you to know...how much I really love you."
I'll paint it on the walls.
'Cause I'm the one at fault.
I'll never fight again,
and this is how it ends.
Wanda's gaze fixed itself to Todd as she watched him. She had no idea that there was any way possible he was suicidal...he had always acted so normal. But then again, he had never truely let himself fit in. She saw his hand start to tense again, and closed her eyes tightly, hoping she wasn't too late...
I don't know what's worth fighting for,
or why I have to scream.
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean.
I don't know how I got this way,
I'll never be all right.
So I'm breaking the habit.
Breaking the habit.
Breaking the habit.
Todd tried to squeeze the trigger, to end the world around him with that one shard of lead that rested inside the barrel of that gun. But he couldn't, the trigger wouldn't move, wouldn't give at all. He looked up at Wanda, her faces holding the marks left by a pair of tears, and realized that it was because of a hex. She had hexed the gun, saved his life. Did she possibly care that much in return? Todd lowered the gun, finally dropping it down to the floor. Wanda opened her eyes and looked at him.
"You idiot..why did you almost do that?"
Todd looked at her. He wasn't sure anymore. Was living with the Brotherhood really so unbearable? Worse, could he have stood the thought of leaving Wanda? He lowered his head in shame...what had he been thinking. Then he felt arms wrap around his shoulders and neck, and looked up to find Wanda wrapping him in an embrace.
"You were just gonna leave me here."
He realized that one of her hands wasn't resting on his back, and he looked into her eyes to see that she was focusing on something she was holding. He turned his head a little to see the single bullet that had once been in the pistol.
"If there had been two...I would have went with you..."
He looked back into her eyes, seeing the sadness that rested there. Maybe he had been wrong all along...there were others that felt just as shackled inside as him. And the one he loved most was one of them. Maybe they could work through this together, maybe change their lives around...
Tonight.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: yeah, I was in a strange mood when I wrote this. It took me forever to decide if I wanted Wanda to be too late to save Todd...but then I decided that it would be even more saddening to let him live. Well, I dunno. Tell me what you think please! R&R!
~Dragonmistriss
Summary: Finally, the sun breaks through, but Todd still feels he's left in the shadows. When no options seem to be left to pull him away from the pain...a metal barrel with a bullet inside seems the only option.
A/N: There was a request for a sequel...so I searched and I searched, and I took a lot of asprin to cure my headaches, and finally narrowed the sequel song to this. The song is "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park. Great song, great cd too. Anyway, here you go! BTW, no one is singing outloud, this is what Todd is singing in his mind.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sunlight broke through the gloom of night that had settled inside Todd's room, giving the aging interior a misted look. In the midst of it all, Todd sat with his back to the door. He couldn't take this pain anymore, he couldn't take one more order from that bastard of a father Wanda had, or likewise an order from the wanna be son. He had let it all pile up around him, just trying to brush his emotions aside. Now they encased him inside a prison that had no lock to pick. So much like the orphanage. HA, if only his disowning parents could see him. Would they even feel remotely sorry? No, why would they? They had stopped caring about him even just slightly when his mutation started to surface. Not even the most open foster parents had shunned him away...but no, they pampered the other kids they were watching. One had lost her eye and her face had been permantly scarred in a fire. She looked way worse than him, even had a worse attitude. But she was the princess to them...he was just someone there to do their bidding.
Memories consume.
Like opening the wound.
I'm picking me apart again.
You all assume.
I'm safe here in my room.
Unless I try to start again.
He reached under his bed, searching around and finding a small box. He pulled it out, just staring blankly at it for a minute. It was old and dust covered, made out of thin pieces of wood, like something one would make at summer camp. He ran his hand over the top, chasing away the dust before flipping the lid off. He looked down into the shallow box...finding one of the two items interesting. The first item he pulled out was a pocket knife, and he flipped it open, studying the dull blade on it. Suddenly he didn't care about anything anymore except this blade. But his mind went to Wanda. He didn't want to leave her, but who was he kidding. She hated him, it was better this way. But he was going to leave a document of his torment for them to find when they remembered that they hadn't seen him all day. Slowly, he let the knife blade loose on the underside of his wrist.
I don't want to be the one
the battles always choose.
'Cause inside I realize
that I'm the one confused.
He watched the blood roll down his arm, setting the knife down he ran his fingers over the crimson liquid and approached the wall. He began to draw, at first it was just smears of blood on the wall, but it slowly began to take shape...
I don't know what's worth fighting for,
or why I have to scream.
I don't know why I instigate
and say what I don't mean.
I don't know how I got this way.
I know it's not right.
So I'm breaking the habit.
I'm breaking the habit.
Tonight.
He took a wobbly step back and studied the work on his wall. It was a good self portrait...he was sitting in chains, his eyes closed, pools of blood around him. It made his feel even worse to look at the picture. It was how he felt inside...shackled. No one had ever seen that, he was just someone who had no depth...but how wrong they were. He looked at the second item in the box, his hand began to quiver slightly as he reached for it. A pistol, only loaded with one bullet, as if he had been saving it for this day. He held the antidote to his torment in his hands, looking at it, contemplating.
Clutching my cure.
I tightly lock the door.
I try to catch my breath again.
I hurt much more
than any time before.
I had no options left again.
I don't want to be the one,
the battles always choose.
'Cause in the end I realize
that I'm the one confused.
I don't know what's worth fighting for,
or why I have to scream.
I don't know why I instigate
and say what I don't mean.
I don't know how I got this way.
I'll never be alright.
So I'm breaking the habit.
I'm breaking the habit.
Tonight.
He inhaled a ragged breathe, lifting the gun to his left temple, his finger resting on the trigger. There was no turning back now, only an angle could save him. He heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and started to pull the trigger as Wanda hexed open his door. The look on her face would have been done injustice to be put into words. He lightly relaxed his grip on the trigger, there was something he needed to tell her first.
"Wanda, I know you'll never accept me for who I am. But, that's ok now. I just wanted you to know...how much I really love you."
I'll paint it on the walls.
'Cause I'm the one at fault.
I'll never fight again,
and this is how it ends.
Wanda's gaze fixed itself to Todd as she watched him. She had no idea that there was any way possible he was suicidal...he had always acted so normal. But then again, he had never truely let himself fit in. She saw his hand start to tense again, and closed her eyes tightly, hoping she wasn't too late...
I don't know what's worth fighting for,
or why I have to scream.
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean.
I don't know how I got this way,
I'll never be all right.
So I'm breaking the habit.
Breaking the habit.
Breaking the habit.
Todd tried to squeeze the trigger, to end the world around him with that one shard of lead that rested inside the barrel of that gun. But he couldn't, the trigger wouldn't move, wouldn't give at all. He looked up at Wanda, her faces holding the marks left by a pair of tears, and realized that it was because of a hex. She had hexed the gun, saved his life. Did she possibly care that much in return? Todd lowered the gun, finally dropping it down to the floor. Wanda opened her eyes and looked at him.
"You idiot..why did you almost do that?"
Todd looked at her. He wasn't sure anymore. Was living with the Brotherhood really so unbearable? Worse, could he have stood the thought of leaving Wanda? He lowered his head in shame...what had he been thinking. Then he felt arms wrap around his shoulders and neck, and looked up to find Wanda wrapping him in an embrace.
"You were just gonna leave me here."
He realized that one of her hands wasn't resting on his back, and he looked into her eyes to see that she was focusing on something she was holding. He turned his head a little to see the single bullet that had once been in the pistol.
"If there had been two...I would have went with you..."
He looked back into her eyes, seeing the sadness that rested there. Maybe he had been wrong all along...there were others that felt just as shackled inside as him. And the one he loved most was one of them. Maybe they could work through this together, maybe change their lives around...
Tonight.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: yeah, I was in a strange mood when I wrote this. It took me forever to decide if I wanted Wanda to be too late to save Todd...but then I decided that it would be even more saddening to let him live. Well, I dunno. Tell me what you think please! R&R!
~Dragonmistriss