A/N:I decided to take a break from all the drama and tension going on in my other fic "Your Obedient Servant," and started something light and fun. This is also kinda crack lol.

(Peggy's POV)

"Alright Sally, whenever you're ready," I said.

Sally nodded, adjusting the camera one last time. "Camera rolling… action!"

"Hey guys!" I said cheerfully. "It's Peggy again, and this is How to Play Cupid! On this channel, we match people who we believe are compatible and would be perfect for each other. And when I say 'we,' I mean me and Sally. Say hello, Sally!"

My most trusted camerawoman turned the camera around and waved hi at the lens. She then turned it back around so that it was facing me again.

"So as you already know, we like to bring a perfect happily-ever-after to couples everywhere, whether it's through blind dates or something a little more… extra. Because no one wants to be forever alone." I winked at the camera. "And also because there are certain fangirls out there who really want these ships to happen. Luckily, I'm here to provide!"

"So what couple are we bringing together today, Peggy?" Sally asked. It was in the script, but I could tell she was genuinely curious.

"Well…" I said mysteriously. "I do have a certain someone in mind…"

"I am not going on another blind date," John said, crossing his arms defiantly.

"Oh come on, John," I huffed. "Please? I already told your date you would be meeting him at the bar." Which we were currently standing outside of.

John raised an eyebrow. "The bar? Really, Peggy?"

Alright, pause. This is John Laurens. I met him at Eliza's coffee shop, where we both work. John is that gay best friend everyone needs but doesn't deserve. He's super sweet, super loyal, but also super stubborn. Especially when it comes to his so far unsuccessful love life. So… I'm going to help him out.

"Yes, John, the bar. It suits you." Oh, and another thing: John drinks a lot. He's always telling me he's working on three pints of Sam Adams.

"The bar is not the best place to find love, Peggy."

"Actually, it's—" I launched into song—-"The club isn't the best place to find a lover so the bar is where I go."

Sally jumped in. "Me and my friends at the table doing shots drinking fast and then we talk slow."

John groaned. "Please don't sing that song at a time like this. Peggy, you already set me up on five different dates already, and none of them went well." He glared at me. "You even tried to set me up with Charles Lee, of all people!"

"Hey, in my defense, how was I supposed to know he was the same Charles Lee you punched in high school?" I peeked into the window. "Oh look, your date's here! Sally, make sure to zoom in on him."

"Yes, ma'am." Sally pressed her camera against the glass, while John squinted into the window. Sure enough, there was a man sitting at the bar stool I had pointed at. The man had his brown hair tied back into a neat ponytail. He turned around, not noticing the three of us at the window, and I recognized the stubble on his chin.

John gasped. "Peggy… isn't that Eliza's ex-husband?"

"I wouldn't call him that, but yeah." Alright, pause again. The guy at the bar is Alexander Hamilton. He and Eliza got together in college, and then got married. They have a son named Philip, who's currently 15 years old. Last year, Alex and Eliza got divorced, so now he's single. "His name's Alex, John. Just for future reference."

"Peggy, why are you setting me up with my boss's ex?"

I shrugged. "I thought you two would go well together. Look, he even saved you a seat like I told him!" Alex had brought a small knapsack, which he placed on the bar stool next to him.

"Perhaps I should rephrase that. Why are you setting me up with my boss's straight ex?"

"Hey, you don't know that he's straight! He could be bi, for all we know, or even gay like you!"

John looked over at Alex skeptically. "I highly doubt a gay guy would stay with a girl for 17 years and even start a family with her."

"You never know. Maybe he was just using Eliza as a beard."

"If that's the type of guy he is, I don't wanna date him."

"Okay okay, I was joking about him using my sister to look straight. But seriously, I think you two would make a cute couple. At first, I was considering setting him up with Angelica, but then I realized Angie would never go out with her sister's ex. Besides, it would be pretty awkward even if it did work out."

"So you think setting up Eliza's ex with her employee is less awkward?"

I shrugged. "A little." I looked at John pleadingly. "Please, John? Just one more date. Even if it doesn't work out, he's a really nice guy." I stuck out my bottom lip and gave him wide puppy eyes. Sally had turned the camera to John, so the entire world was basically waiting for his answer.

John bit his lip, and looked between me and the bar entrance. Me, then the bar entrance. For a moment, I was hoping it was gonna work. There's no way John can resist cute puppy eyes. But then he shook his head. "I'm still not going."

I pouted. Ugh, I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but—

"John, if you go on this date, and it doesn't go well, then"—-I swallowed—-"then I'll take the garbage out for you when it's your turn to do it at the café. For one week."

John seemed to perk up at the offer, but then he said, "Mmm, not satisfied."

I scowled. "Fine, two weeks."

"Still not satisfied. These are my feelings we're talking about here."

"Ugh, three weeks. You happy now?"

John sighed. "Alright, I'll do it." He glanced at the bar door and took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing." Then he disappeared into the bar.

"He's gonna get a broken heart on purpose just so he won't have to do garbage duty, isn't he?" I muttered.

"Yup," Sally answered. We watched as John got closer and closer to the spot where Alex was sitting.

"Come on, Alex," I whispered. "I'm counting on you to woo that stubborn turtle for me."

(John's POV)

I'm already regretting this. Goddamnit, Peggy.

Deep breaths, John. Deep breaths. To be honest, I shouldn't be too worked up about this. Tonight, I was either going to get a boyfriend or three weeks free of garbage duty. Win-win for me. Not so much for Peggy.

I walked over to where the Alex guy was sitting, and slid into the stool next to him. The knapsack remained untouched on his other side.

I was greeted by the bartender. "Three pints of Sam Adams, please," I ordered.

"Coming right up," the bartender answered, and got to work making my drinks. Alex overheard my order and turned to me.

"Three pints? That's impressive," he said.

"Thanks, I can handle two pints, but I'm working on three," I answered.

Alex raised an eyebrow. "I feel like I've seen you before."

"Well, I do work at Eliza's coffee shop, after all."

"Ah, so that's why. John, was it?"

"Yeah, your name's Alex?"

"Alexander, but you can call me Alex." He said, and winked at me. I felt my cheeks turn pink.

"Here are your drinks," the bartender said, setting our drinks down in front of us.

"Thanks," I said. Just then, I heard a buzz in my pocket. I whipped out my phone, and saw a new text message for me.

Peggy: R you gonna tell him ur his date or wut?

How did she know— It was then that I noticed a tiny microphone attached to the collar of my shirt. No wonder Peggy insisted on choosing my outfit for me.

"You okay?" Alex asked. "You suddenly look pale."

"Oh, it's nothing," I said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Just some issues with a friend of mine," I said through gritted teeth, and shot a glare at the bar window. Alex looked too, but Peggy and Sally quickly ducked.

Buzz. What now?

Peggy: dont tell him abt me u idiot!

You: ur literally listening in on everything we say! How is this a date if we cant even hav privacy?

Peggy: im just making sure u don't screw this up, is all

Peggy: wait

Peggy: did u say u wanted privacy? [lenny face]

You deleted "Peggy" from your contacts.

Unknown: look John just pretend we arent there ok?

Unknown: John?

You: sometimes I wonder why we're still friends.

You added "AnnoyingPegleg" to your contacts.

AnnoyingPegleg: u know u love me;)

AnnoyingPegleg: speaking of love, ur dates looking at u

Oh shit, I forgot about Alex. I shot him a sheepish glance. "Sorry, I was busy texting my friend."

He smirked. "So, you done texting your friend yet?"

I sighed. "Yeah." I had given up at this point. Peggy can do whatever she wants now.

"You know, I was worried you were gonna stop paying attention to me."

My cheeks started to heat up. Was he… hitting on me?

"So uh Alex," I stammered, trying to change the subject. "What are you doing here? I didn't know lawyers got drunk."

Alex leaned his elbows on the counter, taking a sip of his beer. "Actually, I'm here to meet someone."

"Really?" I asked, pretending to be surprised.

"Yeah."

"And who is this person you're meeting?"

"I don't know. Peggy told me he's a guy."

"So you're here because of Peggy, huh?"

"Yeah." Alex traced his finger in circles on the bar countertop. "To be honest, I don't know much about the person, other than that Peggy thinks he and I will… get along."

Wow, Peggy. So vague.

"I see. So what do you expect him to be like?"

"Well, I hope he's smart, and not an ass." I chuckled. "Hopefully, he'll be able to endure my nonstop rants from time to time. And I know looks don't really reveal much about a person's personality, but I hope"—he blushed a little—-"he's cute."

"And what's your definition of cute, hm?" I asked, giving him a half-smile.

He stuttered for a moment, but then composed himself. "He would have gorgeous eyes, nice hair, and… freckles." He smirked at me. "Know anyone like that?" I was liking him more and more.

"Not a clue," I answered in as smooth a voice as I could.

His brown eyes twinkled with mischief. "How about the angel sitting next to me right now?"

If I wasn't pink before, I was red now. "I-uh—"

Alex leaned on his elbows and looked at me with his head tilted. "Aw, you're so cute when you blush. I should make that happen more often."

My face was hot, hot, hot. Alex gave me his signature smirk again, and for a moment, I forgot that this guy was some high school kid's dad. "P-please don't."

"So John, why are you here?"

I ignored the furious blush that was practically taking over my face and imitated the way he leaned on the counter, leaning slightly towards him. "Actually," I started. "I'm also here to meet someone."

His eyebrows rose. "Oh?" He smiled at me flirtatiously. "And who is this person you're meeting?"

I rocked back and forth in my seat. "I don't know much about him, but he's intelligent. He's also a bit of a flirt, but he's also really, really handsome."

He laughed. "Is he now?"

"You know, at first I thought I was going to be disappointed, but now that I've met you—" I leaned a little closer to him—-"this isn't so bad after all."

Alex was also leaning on the edge of his seat. "So it is you! For a moment, I was worried I was going to have to reject the other guy so I could get with you instead, but I guess life works out in funny ways sometimes."

I laughed. "Yes, life can do that. You're not complaining, are you?"

He shook his head. "Not one bit."

(Peggy's POV)

"Sally, status report."

"The patient has been diagnosed with cinnamon roll blushy-itis."

"And what about his partner?"

"He also has the case of the blushies, but I'm afraid he's also infected by a deadly disease that currently has no cure."

"And what's that?"

Sally grinned. "Love."

"Look, they're getting closer!" I squealed. Both John and Alex were on the edges of their stools, not quite touching each other. Yet.

The two of them were chatting, although judging by the stuff I was hearing through my headphones, it sounded more like a competition to see who could make the other blush more. And Alex was winning. I also noticed them getting increasingly drunk. Typical.

Somehow, John eyes moved over to the window, and he somehow remembered we were still there.

"Um, Alex?"

His face inches away from John's, Alex smirked at the freckled tomato. "Yes?"

"I forgot to tell you, but… Peggy's recording all this."

There was an awkward silence. Wait for it.

Alex looked at the window, and for the first time, saw us standing there with our camera pointed at his face. Then, to John's shock, Alex winked at us and kissed him right on the lips.

John gasped, hiccuped a little, and stared at his date with wide eyes. "W-what'd you do that for?! You realize Sally got that on camera, right?"

Alex shrugged. "So? I don't mind. Let the fan girls get what they want."

John turned his shocked gaze to us, and I smiled evilly at him. Ha, take that, John! Alex is on our side.

The two of them continued their conversation/flirting, though John kept shooting dirty glances at me.

"My dear Laurens, please focus on me and not the magical fairy godmother who brought us together."

John stopped paying attention to us after that. Eventually, Alex got a text message on his phone, and said something that made me froze. "My son's at a sleepover tonight. Wanna go to my place and… hang out?" His speech was slightly slurred due to the alcohol in his system.

John turned red in the face. "I…"

"Nope. Nope. This isn't happening," I muttered, getting up from my crouching position.

"What's wrong?" Sally asked.

"Rule number one of dating: never sleep with the person on your first date," I said matter-of-factly. "It may work in romance stories, but it doesn't in real life. I'm going in." Before Sally could protest, I marched right into the bar and grabbed John by the collar.

"What—" John started, but I cut him off.

"Alright Alex, we're gonna be going now. Bye."

Alex blinked. "Um, bye?" he said, still half-drunk.

John glared at me. "Peggy, what are you doing?"

I hissed into his ear, "I'm saving you from an awkward one night stand."

John opened his mouth, then gave up and sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow, Alex," he said, smiling at the other man.

"See you at the café, gorgeous," Alex said smoothly. John blushed, but nevertheless, he followed me out.

When we got outside, he glared at me. "I was actually having a good time until you came in," he huffed, the smell of alcohol still lingering in his breath.

I placed my hands on my hips. "Actually, it was going well until you almost got physical with him."

"For your information, I was going to say no. Of course doing… that on the first date isn't a good idea."

"I dunno. The look on your face said, 'yes, yes, yes!'" I shook my head. "See, this is why Alex and Eliza didn't work out. They went too fast. I mean, come on, getting married after dating for two weeks? That's way too soon." I rolled my eyes. "But Eliza was too in love to see how anything could be wrong with that."

"So, was this date a success, then?" Sally piped in, turning the camera to face John and me.

I smiled. "Oh, it was a success, alright. Cut short, but sometimes we gotta make sacrifices for the better. Don't look at me like that, John. You'll get to go on more dates with Alex in the future, and then you can do each other as much as you want." John blushed, but his happy smile was genuine.

"And you know what else this means?" I asked, smiling evilly at him. "You still have to take out the trash." He groaned. I clapped my hands. "Well, that's it for this episode of How to Play Cupid. Stay tuned for the next episode!"

"And… cut."

"Um, Peggy?"

"Yes, Sally?"

"You said at the beginning of the video, 'It's Peggy again!'"

"Yeah, so?"

"Ma'm, this is the first episode."

"..."

"Ma'm?"

"Eh, we'll fix it in the morning."

A/N:The lyrics that Peggy and Sally sang are from the song "Shape of You" by Ed Sheeran. Hope you enjoyed this fic. It only gets crazier from here...