DISCLAIMER: Sadly I own nothing so please don't sue.
SUMMARY: What might have happened if Lestrade hadn't conducted his 'drugs bust' in 'A Study in Pink'.
TITLE: Married To The Work
Married to The Work
"That was the most ridiculous thing I've ever done." The giggle started to escape before he could stop it.
"And you've invaded Afghanistan." Looking sideways Sherlock found that he too couldn't contain the low chuckle. It had been a long time since he had laughed, really laughed…genuinely laughed. These days he hadn't had much to laugh about but something about John Watson made him want to smile and that made him feel a little uneasy.
John turned his head slightly and tried to get his breathing back to normal, noticing, much to his concern as he isn't gay, in the process just how attractive the taller man actually was in the dim light of the hallway. As he turned, their eyes met and time seemed to freeze. John sucked in a breath before awkwardly saying, "So…" Before he could finish the tall, lanky figure beside him was in front of him and a warm set of lips were on his own.
Since the conversation in the restaurant…no scratch that…since seeing him in the lab Sherlock had wondered what those lips would taste like and before he could stop himself he had gone and made the first move. It was everything…more than everything…he could have imagined it would be. One of his hands found its way to John's waist whilst the other wrapped around his shoulders. John's hands instantly tangled in Sherlock's hair as he pulled him impossibly closer and his tongue crept out to lick Sherlock's bottom lip.
Turning them around, Sherlock led them to the stairs making sure that his mouth never left John's. Getting up the stairs however proved to be more problematic than he had anticipated due to their height difference so instead he reluctantly pulled back and lifted John up, John's legs automatically wrapping around Sherlock's skinny hips and his lips once again joining to the detective's. He expertly carried them up the stairs, fumbling with the door handle to let them into the flat and kicking the door shut once they were in. He then carried the smaller man into his bedroom and dropped him unceremoniously onto the bed.
Reaching up, John grabbed a fistful of Sherlock's shirt and pulled him down on top of him before desperately fumbling with the buttons. Impatiently Sherlock pulled away, lifted the shirt over his head and roughly pulled John up into a sitting position so that he could remove his sweater. Sherlock's hands were cold as they roamed over John's chest but he didn't care and the shiver was nothing to do with the lack of heat in the room. His own hands once again found Sherlock's hair and he tugged at the curls until lips were once again fused.
Wrapping his legs around Sherlock's waist, John pulled him flush against him but bucked his hips when Sherlock moved his lips to John's neck. Letting out a low groan, he bucked again and whispered, "Sh…Sher…lock…please…"
Lifting his head to look at the doctor, Sherlock smirked and reached for the button on John's jeans. He then pulled the zipper down painfully slowly and set about ridding John of the rest of his clothes. Soon the two of them were lying on the bed naked and Sherlock tensed as John reached for him.
Sensing that something wasn't right John looked at Sherlock through lust-clouded eyes and rasped, "What's wrong?"
Suddenly he turned away and refused to meet John's gaze as he mumbled, "I've never…I mean…I'm still…" Trailing off he fell helplessly silent.
Touching Sherlock's cheek, John reassured, "It's okay…we can take it as slowly as you like." For a second he thought he saw Sherlock's eyes tear up but in a blink they were clear and he was leaning down to capture his mouth in another searing kiss.
Hands roamed, mouths explored, teeth nipped and both men collapsed on the bed in a fit of gasps and moans. Breathing heavily, John turned and looked at Sherlock who was lying on his back with a dreamy expression on his face. "You okay?"
"Hmm." He didn't trust his voice so instead offered a small smile and a nod. Slinging an arm over Sherlock's waist, John rested his head on the pillow next to the taller man and closed his eyes. "I'll tell Mrs Hudson in the morning that you'll be staying." The voice was cocky and certain but John detected a note of something underneath though he couldn't pinpoint what that something was.
Sunlight streamed in through the crack in the curtains and Sherlock winced as it made contact with his eyes. He tried to sit up but stopped when he felt something tighten around his waist. Turning his head, he smiled as his eyes made contact with John's face. Last night had been something else. He would never have dreamt of making the move he made last night with anyone else but with John it felt different somehow.
John's eyes slowly fluttered open and connected with Sherlock's as a lazy smile graced his lips. He had been with men before, he'd realised he was bisexual in college but never before had he felt anything close to what he had the previous evening. At that thought his smile widened.
He knew that the feelings he had for John were special and that thought scared him. He had never had a proper relationship before, the longest one lasting about a week when he was in his early twenties, but he knew how they ended, with upset and pain and heartbreak…he had seen it on those late night telly shows and he had no desire to go there himself. Sighing to himself, Sherlock realised how hard it would be to bottle back up the emotions, he also knew that he had to…he would only destroy John otherwise.
Dislodging himself from John, he sat up and cleared his throat before carefully saying, "Look John, what happened last night…"
Before he could continue, John interrupted and made Sherlock's task that little bit harder. "I know, I've never felt like that either. I mean it was amazing…you were amazing. It was just…"
Sherlock interjected and his starting-to-defrost heart broke as he said, "It can't happen again John."
John fell silent as he struggled into a sitting position and a mask of confusion crossed over his face. "What? But I thought…" Trailing off, he felt the anger flooding his body and accused in a low growl, "You used me."
Shaking his head wildly, Sherlock twisted and looked at the duvet as he whispered, "No, it wasn't like that."
"Then what was it like?" John's voice was starting to rise and was rapidly betraying him, expressing all of the hurt, anger and confusion coursing through his system.
"You don't know me…you don't know what I'm like. I'm not an emotional sort of person, I don't do relationships. I told you yesterday that I'm married to my work and…and that's the way I would like to keep it."
"Oh really?" The sarcasm was evident and Sherlock did everything possible to hide a flinch. "Because that's not what you were saying last night!"
"John…" He refused to meet the other man's eyes and abruptly fell silent as John once again interrupted.
"Save it, I don't want to hear it and believe me you can shove this flat…" It was Sherlock's turn to silence the other man but it wasn't done with words. Sherlock's eyes finally met John's and the doctor was shocked by the hurt that he found there.
"You look John but you don't observe. For a doctor you can be so blind." A mirthless chuckle slipped free which did nothing but further piss John off as he once again averted his eyes.
"Look cut the crap Sherlock, it's bad enough that you've just used me for sex…don't insult me as well". Defeat had crept in now despite John's best efforts to mask the one emotion that he hated most.
"No, you don't understand…I am doing this for you." A harsh, bitter laugh on John's part prompted the detective to continue. "I can't do relationships John, I can't do emotions…I just can't." John silently took in the whispered confession and found himself wondering what had happened to turn Sherlock into the wreck of a man in front of him. "I'm broken John."
"I can fix you…let me fix you." Whispering, John moved to kneel beside Sherlock but despite his best efforts he couldn't get the taller man to meet his eyes.
"You can't John, nobody can…I don't want fixing." He spat the words in disgust, he was perfectly happy being the person that he was…he didn't have to please anyone but himself.
Reaching up to put his hand on Sherlock's cheek, he gently turned the younger man's face so that he could look him in the eyes before sincerely answering, "Then let me love you. Let me love you for the neurotic, obsessive, brilliant sociopath you are." Sincerity shone in his eyes but more importantly to Sherlock there was something else, hope and genuine adoration.
This time he couldn't hide the tears that welled up but he did refuse to let them fall and instead closed his eyes, took a deep breath and whispered, "I think I'd like that." Opening his eyes again, he apologetically added, "I can't say it yet…I'm sorry I just…"
Pressing his lips to Sherlock's, John silenced him before pulling back and smiling, "We have all the time in the world."
This time Sherlock smiled back, not his usual smirk but a genuine, bright smile that lit up his face. Leaning in for another kiss, he whispered "thank you" against John's lips before sealing them and pushing John backwards into the mattress. Maybe just maybe he could make this one work.
A/N: Thanks for reading, please let me know what you thought as it is my first Sherlock fic.