A/N: hey y'all! thanks for choosing to read my fic aye, this is gonna be a long journey! i'm hoping to cover the end of season 3, and then season 4-7! (in my own au of course). so yeah, thanks for joining me early! i'll let you get to the story!

Chapter 1

flashback:

"Jess!" Rory yelled.

"Jeez!" he turned away.

"Not here, not now! What is wrong with you!?"

"Nothing's wrong with me!" he defended, but he could feel his strength slipping away. She wasn't going to forgive him from what he had just done. No way.

"Someone could have walked in that door," she cried.

"And Santa Claus could have climbed down the chimney, whatever," he knew he shouldn't be using sarcasm now, of all times. But he just couldn't help it.

"You did not think that it was going to happen like this, did you?" she was pleading with him.

"I don't know what I think, anymore," he realised bitterly.

"Jess."

He snapped. "Rory stop, just stop! I did not invite you up here, you came on you own!"

The look that came across Rory's face was something he would never forgive himself for. It was one of complete shock, of disappointment, of sadness. It killed him knowing he caused it. "I..." she started. "I don't know what I did..." she opened the door and ran down the stairs.

Fuck. "You didn't do anything. Rory!"

Seeing Rory downstairs, with Dean, more strings inside him snapped. As he walked down, he user his last energy to mutter "figures," before being mature and walking away. That was before Dean hit Jess in the back of the head. Jess only wished he knew what happened after that.

Jess woke up in the hospital, confused and disoriented. He heard a small intake of breath next to him, like a snore, before feeling someone else's hand on his own. His head hurt. It really hurt. That and the fact that Rory were next to him were his only thoughts. He subconsciously squeezed her hand tighter.

Her head rose a bit, before she realised what had happened and concentrated on Jess. "Oh, my god. Are you okay? Wait, stupid question. I-"

Jess squeezed her hand again to make her stop. "I'm fine. Well, not fine, but... can you just tell me what happened?"

Tears welled up in Rory's eyes. She put her free hand on his chest and took a small part of his shirt in her hand. "It was horrible, Jess. He just walked up and hit you. I yelled at him, I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't listen to me. Maybe if i tried a bit harder, he wouldn't have -"

Jess cut her off again. "Rory stop. There's - there's nothing you could have done, okay?"

Rory broke their eye contact. "Okay."

They sat in silence for a long time, but it wasn't companionable silence. It was awkward. For the first time since their first almost-kiss as a couple.

"I couldn't get tickets to the prom," he mumbled. He hoped that would help her realise he wasn't graduating, he didn't think he could face telling her outright that he was a failure. "I'm sorry."

She didn't look at him. "Oh." She hid her face a little so that he wouldn't see her eyes watering. "Jess..."

"I'm not," he admitted after a pause. Better to get it over with. "I flunked." He ignored the way his voice seemed somehow far away, or how much his head hurt. The throbbing. Shit.

"You..." Rory's eyes widened. "Oh, god. Are you going back to school? Please go back. You just have to take one year over! It's fine, it's okay. This is okay. We can..."

"Rory, can we not talk about this now? Please?" Jess didn't want to stress Rory, or himself, out. Not now.

Rory didn't answer, so after a few moments Jess took the initiative. "Is this... are we... are we okay?" He had a vague memory of last night and didn't like the situation he remembered.

Jess dreaded the answer. He shouldn't have asked. He waited for Rory to collect her thoughts. "I don't know."

"I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to... push you, that's what I did, right?" He frowned, not remembering details.

"Jess, how much do you remember?" She took on a new worried look.

"Just... I remember being mad, and I remembered your face..." he shut his eyes briefly, scaring Rory for a second. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Jess, I have to know. I know all this deep conversation is killing you right now, and I'll let you rest, but... are you okay with it? With me not being ready to... I don't want to make you frustrated."

Jess put both hands around one of hers. "No way. I think I was just mad about school. I'm an idiot, but... I don't care about... that."

"Why?" That question carried so much meaning. It wasn't just a simple yes or no question. He thought about it for a second, before having a realisation hit him like a truck, even though he knew the feeling was always there. "Because..."

"No," Rory backtracked. "It doesn't matter. It's too hard. I'm sorry I asked. You don't have to answer."

"No, it matters." He paused. "I think I love you."

"What?" the look on her face went blank, before she realised he was waiting for an answer. "You think?"

"Well, yeah. I sort of depends what you feel..."

"Stop- stop thinking." She moved from the chair onto the bed next to him, as he shuffled over to make room for her. She lay down next to him, reaching out to put her arms around him before hesitating.

"What? What's wrong?"

Rory blushed. "I just... am I going to hurt you?"

Jess chuckled. "No, come on." He wrapped his arms around her, still ignoring the pain in his head, the feeling that if he tried to get up he'd fall right back down again.

"Jess?"

"Yeah?"

Rory gulped. "I think I kind of love you too."

He put his arms tighter around her and kissed her forehead, before passing out.

A/N: thanks for reading the first chapter! please review!! if this first chapter gets a good rep then i'm sure to keep updating ! let me know what you think!

- stella