I do not own any Sons of Anarchy characters, events or any other material. O/C Alexis is my intellectual property. The lyrics preceding the story are from the song "Be Together" by Major Lazer feat Wild Belle. Please enjoy and review. Without further ado::::::

Maybe if the stars align, maybe if our worlds collide
Maybe on the dark side we could be together, be together
Maybe in a million miles, on a highway through the stars
Someday soon we'll be together

Which is worse, I wondered. Physical or emotional pain? Growing up with two older brothers, I'd had my share of physical pain. I'd had broken bones, my head split open a few times, even a knife through my hand. I ran my right thumb over the scar on my left palm as I sat in the back of the church. There was a sea of men, women and children alike, all dressed in black with their heads bowed. An occasional sniffle was the only thing heard aside from the priest's readings about eternal life. I took a deep breath, feeling as if it was audible to everyone. No one turned around or seemed to notice, so I let it out slowly. I couldn't do it. I couldn't sit there for another minute. The church pew creaked as I stood up. Everyone heard that. Several of the mourners turned in search of the source of the noise. I avoided making eye contact with any of them and quietly slipped outside.

"What now?" I didn't have to turn around to recognize the voice that had voiced my internal debate. It was the same voice that had criticized almost every aspect of my life for the last four years. From the way I cooked to the way I dressed. There was always something negative to say. It got to a point that I stopped expecting it to ever change, more specifically, I stopped trying to appease her. I pushed the smoke out of my lungs in a thin stream of smoke before turning around. She was dressed in black, like everyone else. It was strange to see her like that. Normally, her outfits made me consider wearing sunglasses inside. I wondered what she was to me now. For the past four years, she'd been my mother-in-law. I wasn't exactly sure what Hank's death meant when it came to Martha and I.

"I don't know." There was no elaborate plan. I had no contingency plan for Hank's death. I guess I should have. Even our vows mentioned death doing us part. I brought my cigarette up to my lips and saw the disapproval in Martha's eyes. It was a look I was all to familiar with. Hank never liked it when I smoked either. When we had parties or dinners at our house, I would sneak off to the upstairs bathroom and smoke in the shower, blowing everything out through the small, porthole like window. It was the only way I could cope with our friends and his family. I loved Hank but there came a point that I couldn't keep pretending to have anything in common with the people we surrounded ourselves with. I tried to keep up appearances though. It wasn't so much them as it was me. I was out of my element. I wasn't even on my coast.

"Hailey gave a beautiful eulogy." I could read between the lines. She was upset that I had not only refused to give a eulogy but I had also left before his younger sister delivered one instead. I nodded. Hank deserved a nice eulogy. "Are you coming to the cemetery?"

"We already said our farewells, Martha." That was all the last two days with him had been, farewells. He would come in and out of consciousness. Sometimes we would cry. Sometimes we would laugh. We always said goodbye though. It was unbearable, hearing him fight to talk when he could barely breath from the scarring on his lungs. He wanted me to know he didn't regret it though. He didn't regret doing his job and saving that family from the fire. I caught a glimpse of his Chief walking out of the church and gave him a small smile, thanking him for coming to the service that I couldn't sit through myself. "I need some time to myself."

"That's just selfish." Martha spat, her pitch peaking at the end. I swallowed down my rebuttal and turned my back on her. I heard her heels clicking in the opposite direction of my own. She was headed to the limousine that would escort the family to the cemetery while I was headed to my car that would take me anywhere but there. I started the engine and let my hands rest on the top of the steering wheel for a minute while I gathered my thoughts. I backed out of the parking spot and just started driving.

"Mom." I cried, my chest heaving as I pressed my back into my seat. I couldn't see through the mascara burning my eyes. As soon as I pulled over onto the side of the road, I knew what I needed. I needed the same thing every girl needed when she was hurting or ill. I needed my mother.

"Alexis? What's wrong, sweetheart?" I blubbered on about everything that had happened over the past week. From the fire to the hospital to picking out caskets, everything that I'd been holding in. I heard her gasp and couldn't help but cry harder. "Where are you, baby?"

"The side of the interstate. My mascara got in my eyes and I couldn't see." I sobbed, pulling my hand away to see a large black streak where I'd been rubbing it over my eyes.

"Come home, baby. It doesn't have to be forever. You need family." No matter my emotional state, I never would have believed that she didn't have ulterior motives. Still, she was right. I needed family. I needed my family. I took a deep breath. It was shaky but I wasn't sobbing anymore.

"Okay. I'll fly out tonight." I had already been given approval for another week off. Before leaving the church, I'd planned on going back on Monday.

"I'll see you at the airport, baby. Just let me know what time and I'll be there." Mom said. I was under no false impression that she would be alone. I ended the call and tucked my phone back in my bag before pulling back into the roadway. It wasn't until I exited to turn back East that I realized I was only a few exits away from the airport. I got back on the interstate and headed home to pack a bag and find a flight.

Within three hours, I was taking a seat on a plane. There was only one non-stop flight to San Francisco and it wasn't cheap but I didn't care. It was the closest I was going to get to Charming from Atlanta. I let Mom know I would be landing in San Francisco around 10pm, her time, and settled in for a long flight. I fell asleep for the first time in two days and probably could have slept for the next twelve hours had the landing not jolted me awake. I looked out of the small window as we taxied into the same airport I'd flown out of eight years ago. I never would have thought that going to school at Duke would lead to me Hank and then the life we eventually shared in Georgia.

"Lexie!" I turned away from the luggage carousel and rushed over to my Mom, hugging her tightly. She smelled like smoke and flowers, just like she did in my earliest memories of her. I'd gotten my dark hair from her, my blue eyes from my father and a mix of both their personalities. I stepped back after a minute or two and saw my big brother. I felt my bottom lip starting to quiver as he wrapped his arms around me. The sound of his leather kutte reminded me of our dad. Jax, Mom, and I were all that was left of our family. Our little brother Thomas had died just after I turned nine and three years later, Dad died. I never got along with Clay Morrow so even after he and Mom got married, I still relied on Jax for most things a little girl would need a father for.

"Hey, baby girl." Jax said, holding me tight and kissing the top of my head. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to go back to Georgia or not. Just hugging them made me feel alive again. For the first time since the fire, I knew I was going to make it.

"Hey." I said, squeezing him a little more before stepping back. Mom was standing there watching us with a smile and a hint of a tear in her eyes. She held my suitcase out towards me. When I took it, she wrapped the arm that had been holding it around my shoulders and guided me out of the airport behind Jax. I inhaled deeply, taking in the warm sun and California air.

"Let's get you home, sweetheart." Gemma said, opening the back door of a black SUV for me. I let Jax take my suitcase to load into the back and climbed into the seat. I was surprised to see Mom get in the passenger seat. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen Jax drive anything besides his Harley or the tow truck.

"Thank you for coming to pick me up." I said, leaning my head against the window. I saw Jax looking at me through the rearview mirror and dropped my gaze quickly. I knew if I looked into his eyes too long, he'd know everything I was feeling and thinking. Mom reached around and patted my knee. "I'm going to close my eyes for a few minutes."

I woke up when Jax parked the SUV in front of Teller-Morrow Automotive. It hadn't changed at all.