Hey guys! So I just wrote this story about two hours ago, it's honestly a sensitive subject for me to talk about, but I'm going to do it.
This is loosely based on an experience with my life
This story is loosely based off of Human by Christina Perri and Stay With Me by Sam Smith, I hope you guys enjoy it! :)
Save Me
I stare at the blade and watch the blood trickle down my arm, I look down at the tiny razor in my hand that is covered in blood, and tears. I drop everything in my hands and fall to the floor crying, I'm just so sick and tired of living like I'm just some perfect person who is so talented and gifted, I'm so tired of barely seeing my parents because they're "too busy", I'm tired of people using me, let's just put it this way, I'm just tired of living. I stand up feeling shaky and dizzy from the amount of blood that has come out of these cuts, there's probably about ten to twelve fresh ones, my arm is covered in cuts. I dry my eyes, clean up my bruises and wash my cuts, I can't put a bandage on them yet, so I might as well just put on a hoodie today, luckily it's rainy and wet.
I walk out of my bedroom and run downstairs to sit on my long couch, that spot is basically my comfort spot, especially for days like this. I'm honestly the only person who lives here because my parents' long business trips, and my sister Trina lives on campus, you'd think they'd call me, right? How would you feel if your parents called you maybe once a month for about five minutes, and you only see your sister once a month?
I lay down on the long red couch and stare at the ceiling, something I often do. I feel tears trickle down my cheeks and wipe them away, I kind of like the quietness, I like hearing my thoughts out loud in my head. The thoughts that tell me that I need to kill myself, that I don't deserve to be here, and that nobody loves me, sadly I can actually say that I do agree with those small voices in my head. I grab a handful of pills and lay back down, getting ready to take them.
A knock at my door disturbs my thoughts, I groan, put the pills under a pillow and stand up from my spot and run to the door, it's Beck, one of my really close friends, we've been friends since Freshman year, we're now Seniors. "Hey." he says to me smiling and runs his fingers through his dark brown hair, it looks so soft, that smile of his is enough to make me melt. "Hey." I say forcing a smile, I really don't want to talk to anyone right now, "Can I come in, or are you going to keep me out here freezing my butt off?" Beck asks me, I laugh, yes I actually laugh, "Yeah, come in." I say, opening the door wider so that he can come in, he enters and I close the door, locking it. I sit down next to Beck on the chair where I was just laying down at, we stay silent for a while, "Why didn't you come to school today?" he asks me, breaking the silence that filled the room, and looking me deep in my eyes, I look down at my lap.
I ignore his question and the room goes back to silence, "Hey, what's that on your wrist?" he asks me, once again breaking the silence and carefully grabs my left hand, I pull my hand away and begin to stand up. "Get out." I bitterly say and cross my arms, Beck stands up, I'm scared that he's going to leave, he looks at me with sad eyes and makes his way towards the door. "Don't leave me!" I scream as I fall to the floor.
Beck rushes towards me and sits down next to me, I sit back up, only this time sobbing, Beck runs his fingers through my hair and kisses my forehead, which shocks me but I accept it. "Shh. I'm not going to leave you, Tori." I look up at him, he wipes away my tears, I frown at his hand that just touched my face, the hand that is cupping my cheek. "Why would you do this to yourself?" Beck asks me, I see a tear fall from his eye, "You don't know how much I love you, and how much you mean to me." he says and picks up my hand and kisses my wrist, both of us sit and cry in each other's arms. "I can't bear to see you like this, Tori." I look down at my lap, continuing to cry, "Please say something." he pleads again, I sigh and look up at Beck who's eyes are now bloodshot and is looking like he wants to break down and cry, "I feel like nobody loves me, and nobody cares, and I feel like if I just die that nobody would notice I'm gone, not even my parents or Trina." Beck wipes away my tear again, "I honestly just feel like complete crap, I called Trina, mom, and dad today and they all said what they always say, 'We're too busy, Tori.' and hang up on me."
"How would you feel if your family only checked up on you once a month? Or having nobody to talk to?!" I scream, Beck rubs my back and lets me cry on his chest.
"I don't even know why I'm telling you this, you don't care." I say and stand up, Beck follows behind me, he grabs my hands, he looks so hurt, I hate the fact that I'm doing this to him. "Tori, I do care, and I do love you, I know that you're hurting and that you feel like if you died nobody would care, but damn it, I would care! You are honestly a sense of brightness in my life and I don't know where I'd be without you! Stop saying that nobody cares, I care!" Beck shouts back at me, he stops shouting and walks over to another chair in my living room, I sit next to him. I sigh, hoping that what I say next doesn't hurt me. "I understand that Beck, I really do, I need you, I'm just scared that you're going to leave just like everybody else, and I hone-" Beck cuts me off by kissing me, I kiss him back, both of us pouring all of our heavy, hurt emotions into this kiss.
Beck pulls away a few moments later, "I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying here." he says, and kisses me again. I pull away, "Okay, first thing's first, I want this to stop." he says and kisses my wrist that is red and covered in cuts once more, "Okay, let's go throw those razors and those pills under the pillow away."
Beck stayed over all night, and even past sunrise with me, all night we stayed up discussing our new relationship, my life, his life, life in general, and it actually made me realize that life is beautiful, especially when you find someone to share it with. I learned that love will always flow all around, you may not feel it, but it's there.
"Shouldn't you be home?" I ask Beck, he laughs and kisses my forehead, "Well, my Tori, I said I was staying, I'm not leaving, not now, not ever." he says with a genuine smile on his face. "Thank you Beck." I say and kiss his cheek.
"For what?"
"Saving me, and for loving me when I couldn't love myself."
What if I went to school yesterday and came back home, would Beck still have came? What if I had actually taken those pills and died? I wonder how Beck would have felt, or what would have happened.
"Wait, don't you need to go home and get your clothes?" I ask him, noticing that it's 8 in the morning on a rainy Saturday.
"Right, I forgot about that part." we both laugh, to be honest, this is the most I have ever smiled in so long, I'm just glad that everything happened the way it did, and I'm thankful that Beck saved my life.
"Oh, won't you stay with me? 'Cause you're all I need" Stay With Me by Sam Smith
I hope you guys enjoyed it! I'm not 100% pleased with this fic, but I always wanted to do one based off of these two songs, so yeah... I hope you enjoyed it! Please favorite, or subscribe because I may end up writing an epilogue
God bless,
Javi :)
