Hey guys I'm here with another story, still not that experienced but I'm honestly trying. Now ima get straight to the point and ask.
Will one of you guys please be my editor for this story and if you're interested others the only requirement is that you have a good amount of knowledge on commas and wording, I would like the concept of it to remain the same but you can change it to make it better.
Welp thanks for picking this story now sit back and enjoy the words...or don't but if you don't review and tell me what I could do to make it better.
(Third person)
A kid and his mom pulled up to a building with the words "Fazbear's pizzeria where kids and adults alike can enjoy".
This was Mike's first time here and he was uncomfortable already. He had a problem with crowds and strangers in general so this was the worst place for him to be but this is where his mom worked and she couldn't afford a babysitter so he had to be here all day.
Just a month or so before that Mike's dad had left them leaving his mom alone to care for him and Mike realized this so he would always help around the house as much as a seven year old could. People always called Mike very mature for his age but he just thought that is how all kids his age acted.
He had black hair that was naturaly messy looking and he had dark blue eyes which where always surrounded with dark bags due to him staying up with his mom all the time.
He wore black sneakers with navy blue jeans along with a black and white hoodie that belonged to his dad but was given to Mike as somthing to remember him by when he left along with an iPod with his dads favorite songs on it which where newer stuff that adults usually didn't like.
His dad had always tried to stay with the times so he wouldn't become a quote "boring old man".
Anyway Mike had always carried that with him and add stuff to it sometimes. Right now he was listening to a song called animals by some guy called Martin Garrix.
"Mike sweetie we're here!" His Mom called over his music.
His mom Marge had on the red and black uniform for the waitress position. She had brown hair with hazelnut eyes and was around 5"7.
"Mk Mom." He said pausing the song and getting out of the car.
It was almost Christmas and snow was falling gently to the ground so Mike was careful to not slip on any ice.
They entered the restaurant and almost immediately the peace was interrupted by the screaming children and shouting parents. Mike groaned and put his hood up. The hoodie had become like a safe space for him at this point.
"Now Mike, mommy has to get to work just go over with the other kids and don't talk to any adult strangers." She instructed.
"Yes Mom" He said putting his earbuds back in and playing his music again.
His mom went off to work and Mike went into a giant tubey structure made from plastic. It was the perfect place to go seeing as all this kids had just ran out to go watch the three animatronics. He had no interest in them their music was crap anyway.
He crawled in it and went high up so he could watch the show anyway.
He turned up his music to drown out all other sounds.
He yawned and laid down then closed his eyes and fell asleep.
(Mike's Dream)
Crying...all I could hear is a far pitiful crying. He crawled out of the play palace and to his surprise there was no sound and when he looked around everyone had froze, even the band.
"What's going on?" He asked a kid but she didn't answer him.
He walked through the crowd and the closer he got to the side of the room the louder the cries got. He noticed this and decided to investigate the sound, maybe the person crying could tell him what's going on.
He walked down a dark hall as the weeping got louder and clearer. "Hello?"
He finally came to a door that was glowing yellow. He opened it and the light disappeared. "Hello?"
He saw a yellow thing sitting in the corner of the room that was the source of the sound so he walked over to it.
It looked up and around. Mike saw its face it was a dark yellow bear about his size, it had a black top hat with a red stripe around the bottom and a black bow tie. (So just imagine it as the fnaa Goldie but without brests and as a child.)
"Who's there?" She asked looking directly at me but apparently not noticing me.
I stood there for a minute until a force pulled on me and I was sent flying back to where I had fallen asleep.
(Dream over)
Mike woke up gasping with a headache.
"Oh What was that?" He questioned to no one as he rubbed his head.
How did he know so vividly what that hall looked like?
He mindlessly crawled out of the tunnel only to be met with screaming kids. The band had stopped playing so the kids where getting restless. So he just plugged in his ipod and looked around and surely enough there was a hall there.
He tried to fight the temptation to go back there but he knew he couldn't so he just walked through the crowd and his anxiety started to flair so he just pushed past all of them and ran to the hall luckily unnoticed. He mad sure no one was following him and he snuck down the hall.
It looked just like it did in his dream even though he had never been back here. He kept walking until he reached the door from his dream. He cautiously turned the door handle and walked in quietly closing the door. He sat there until his eyes adapted to the darkness. He walked deeper into the room carefully stepping around the mess.
"Hello?" He called.
"Welp no one is here so I'll just-"
"Who's threre?"
Crap"
"U-um my name is Mike."
"A-are you here to hurt me?l" She asked timidly.
"No no I'm just here because...I was just curious I guess so Um I'll just go." He said stepping over to the door.
"Wait pleas don't!" The girl panicked.
He stopped and looked back to see the bear girl from his dream.
"My name is Goldie!" She said with a small smile.
"Nice to meet you I'm Mike." He said holding out his hand for a hand shake.
She sheepishly took his hand and shook it. They both felt a sort of energy spike which sent chills down their spines, Mike chose to ignore it as did she.
"So what are you doing back here?" She asked him
"Well I had a weird dream that I walked back here to this room and saw...you." Mike said thinking back to his dream.
"Wow that is weird." She said.
"So what are you doing back here?" He asked in return.
"This is where I live!" She said cheerfully.
"It's pretty dark." He said looking around.
"Well I like to turn the lights out and have some me time sometimes." She explained.
"Ya sometimes when I get upset I just go hide and listen to my iPod." He said showing her the device.
"Woah, what does it do?" She asked.
"It plays music." He said pulling his earbuds out of his ears.
"What, like the music the band plays?" She asked.
"Nah their music is annoying this is good music." He said handing it to her.
"What do I do with it?"
"Just put those in your ears and press that big button on it." He explained.
She did as instructed and closed her eyes as the sound of rain came to at first but then a beat started. As she listened she started mindlessly tapping her foot. She listened to the song the whole way through. This was the first time Mike had ever let anyone other than his mother touch the thing.
"Wow What was that?" She asked.
"That is real music" He said proudly.
"What's the name of the song?" She reiterated.
"Oh it's called Burn the stars." He informed.
"I Like it." she said as the next song came on.
"What's this one?" She asked.
He took a earbud and sat next to her.
"This is called "Gimme That" I think some one called bombs away made this." He said.
They sat there listening to songs every now and then she'd ask what the name of a song was and he would gladly tell her.
"I liked those songs." She said handing him his device back.
"Ya, most of those where my dad's" He said.
"Where?" She asked confused.
"Ya he recently left my mom and I because they got in a fight and he left me this." Mike said sadly while he remembered the night his dad woke him to say goodbye and let him know ho much he loved him.
"So is that his too?" She asked pointing at Mike's hoodie.
"Ya, How could you tell?" He asked.
"It's to big for you." She said.
"Ya I guess it is but I still like it." He said pulling the hood that fell down after his sleep up.
"So what do you do for fun?" He asked.
"Well sometimes I like to go into chi chi's kitchen and take some cupcakes."
"That ought to be fun." He said.
"Wanna go with me?" She asked.
"Of corse, but how do we get there without being seen?" Mike asked.
"Just follow my lead." She ordered pushing a box to reveal a hole in the wall that led to the ventilation system.
They crawled in and crawled around until they got to the area above the stage.
"Watch this." She said looking down to the stage through a vent grate and spit. Originally she was aiming for Bon Bon but her saliva hit a bar and dripped on Teddy's nose. Her heart dropped into her stomach when he looked up at her with angered eyes. "I think we should go" she panicked.
They stopped above a room that smelled amazing.
"What's that?" Mike asked exactly.
"Shh chi chi is in there." She said quietly.
She waited until chi walked out to give a cake to the other kids for a birthday party.
"Ok go." She commanded before dropping out of the vent.
They made their way over to the fridge. "Woah it's sweet heaven." Mike said astonished.
There was cupcakes and regular cakes along with ice cream of all kinds and as the cherry on top hundreds of cookies.
"Ok grab some cookies, I don't think she will notice them gone." She said grabbing a few as did Mike.
They where about to get back up to the vent when the door started to push open. Mike quickly tried to get up but he accidentally closed the vent instead. He fell on Goldie who grabbed his hand to help him up. There it was, the surge of energy between them.
Chi chi walked in looking around eyes full of suspicion.
"Is someone here?" She called out?
Could she not see them?!
She squinted her eyes and grabbed a pizza while looking around then left.
"How did she not see us?" Goldie asked letting go of his hand.
"I'm not sure but let's be glad she didn't, now let's get out of here." Mike said hopping on the counter and opening the vent. Once he was up he pulled Goldie up and they got back to her room quickly.
"What was that about?" Mike asked.
"I don't know it was almost as if she couldn't see us." She said pondering on the subject.
"All I know is that no matter what happened we're lucky." Mike said.
"Ya I guess so." She chuckled.
They went around causing mischief and just playing around for the rest of the day.
"Well it was nice to meet you Goldie but it's nine so my mom is about to get off from work." Mike said waving goodbye.
She waved too, sad to see her friend go.
Mike and his mom got in their car and drove home.
Ok I wanted to do more but I'm just excited to see this get posted. anyway like I said review or just pm me if you wanna be the editor for this story.
Anyway like always good night good morning or good after noon I'll hopefully update soon! (Plz don't rush I'm working on two others)