A/N: OK, I'm back with a new story, well, it's not exactly my own creation as psav2005 helped me come up with topic ideas, so some credit goes to him. This story is the first in a series which is a cross between Power Rangers and ESPN Classic's show "Top 5 Reasons You Can't Blame." Being a sports fan, that's one of my favorite ESPN shows to watch. Of course, I do not own either one. All Power Rangers characters are owned by Saban and Disney, and the show, its format, and its host, who is Brian Kenny, belongs to the ESPN family of networks. For those that don't watch ESPN, you'll get an idea of the format as I move along. The italics indicate the words of Mr. Kenny.

T5RYCB Ranger Series, Episode 1: The UAE for never conquering Earth

Show comes on the air and music starts playing

"I HAVE SUCH A HEADACHE!" screams Rita Repulsa

"Coming up on the Top 5 Reasons You Can't Blame: Ranger Series…" drones the voice of Brian Kenny.

"The United Alliance of Evil…was…a scary group of creatures with talent, powers and experience. I never saw anything like them," says Alpha 5.

"They were…extremely tough. In our first fight with the Putties and Goldar, I thought we were going to lose," says Jason Scott.

"I DO WONDER SOMETIMES WHY THE UNITED ALLIANCE OF EVIL DIDN'T ULTIMATELY CONQUER EARTH AT SOME POINT," says Zordon of Eltar, in human form for the show only.

A montage of Ranger moments begins to play, as does the music, and then the show logo appears, as does Brian Kenny

"Hello again everybody, I'm Brian Kenny, and welcome to the Top 5 Reasons You Can't Blame Ranger Series. Much like the name says, and much like the show involving sports personalities, this show will involve Power Ranger personalities and topics which have been hot since the show started in 1993. You will hear evidence and testimony from any and all characters. All you need is an open mind. In this show we will touch on maybe the biggest topic of them all: the United Alliance of Evil's utter failure to conquer the Earth at the hands of the Power Rangers. We're going to count down the Top 5 Reasons you can't blame them for that failure. But first, let's take a look at the evidence against them."

The tape rolls, and a visual of most members of the UAE appear. Included is Scorpina though she was not present for CTD

"THE UNITED ALLIANCE OF EVIL WAS…A VERY SCARY GROUP," says Zordon.

"In 1993, Earth was a peaceful, successful planet. However, danger lurked right around the corner in the form of a dumpster on Earth's moon. This dumpster carried a UAE member, Rita Repulsa, and three of her four top hench-mutants, and was actually opened, and Rita freed during that year."

"When that dumpster was opened, and I was freed," Rita said, "I thought 'that planet is ours.'"

"However, five otherwise ordinary high school students from California begged to differ. At the bidding of the legendary inter-dimensional being, Zordon of Eltar, these five accepted the challenge of defending Earth as its Power Rangers, and found surprising success."

"When I first fought the Megazord," says Goldar, trusty sword on his lap, "I was surprised that Zordon was able to galvanize five warriors so quickly. I wondered how they could ever stand a chance against a more experienced, infinitely more powerful alliance."

"Not only did they stand a chance," continues Kenny, "they successfully defended their hometown of Angel Grove from Rita's attacks. Despite the fact that Rita upped the ante with her usage of the Green Power Coin and the summoning of her remaining warrior, Scorpina, the Rangers managed to win the Green Ranger to their side, and then continued to fight off Rita's attacks. Eventually, Rita was banished to her dumpster, and Lord Zedd took over in her stead."

"I wondered when I banished Rita why she couldn't beat those pimple-faced teenagers. I understand now," says Zedd.

"Indeed he did understand, for the Rangers picked up right where they left off as usual, with new powers. Even when the Green Powers faded at Lord Zedd's bidding, and even when Zedd attempted to make the Pink Ranger his evil bride, the remaining five held their own."

"After a while, I think it got in their heads," says Scorpina, boomerang on her lap, "that they couldn't beat a team that was far less experienced than we were. Winning is as much mental as it is physical, and as long as the Rangers were around, Rita and Zedd were always complaining about how to get rid of them."

"And it would get much worse for Zedd and the UAE when the White Ranger took over as leader of Earth's spandex-clad heroes. Try as they might, Zedd and Rita, who later married, found it ever harder get rid of them with the White Ranger in town, even as three of the originals left to attend a peace conference in Switzerland. While the feared inter-galactic being Ivan Ooze destroyed their original powers, the Power of Ninjetti put the Rangers right back in the game, and they defeated Ooze before he could do too much damage."

"Next came Rita's feared father, Master Vile, and while he temporarily defeated them by changing them into kids, the Rangers took his coveted source of power, the legendary Zeo Crystal, in an earlier battle, which allowed them to survive while allies from another planet forced Vile to retreat."

"THAT WAS A VERY SCARY TIME," Zordon says. "THAT WAS THE MOMENT I THOUGHT EARTH WOULD BE VANQUISHED FOREVER. I WAS PROUD OF MY TEAM, BUT I KNEW VILE HAD LEFT THEM HELPLESS."

"Rita and Zedd were also forced to retreat due to the invading Machine Empire, who next set their sights on Earth. But with a new Power Chamber in place of the original Command Center that was destroyed by Goldar and Rita's brother, new members, and the Power of Zeo, the Rangers fought off the powerful Machines as well."

"But as the Machines retreated and were destroyed, in stepped a powerful lady thief, Divatox, who set her sights on the riches of the planet, as well as a powerful demon, Maligore."

"When I saw Maligore," says Adam Park, sitting in a chair next to his wife Tanya, "I thought that was the ugliest beast I had ever seen."

"Despite the ugliness of the monster and a departure from the Eltarian legend, the heroes continued to battle on. Even a new era of Rangers were able to step in and handle the powerful lady pirate."

"Then things took another turn for the worst, as Divatox finally managed to find and destroy the Power Chamber. But just when she appeared to have Earth in her grasp, she was called to a conference, which eventually led to the invasion of the universe."

"Those were the things that kind of make you wonder," says Divatox as she messes with her hair, "how we could ever win. Why couldn't the UAE have let me finish them off?"

"Despite the invasion of the universe at the order of the UAE, a teammate of the newest Rangers, a warrior from KO-35 shattered the legendary Zordon's tube, guaranteeing the final defeat of the powerful United Alliance of Evil."

"If another member of the UAE tells you it was just another battle," says Scorpina, "don't listen to them. It wasn't just another battle…it was a war that they should have won, and I can see the argument why my former masters 'choked' as it's so aptly put on this planet."

Tape finishes playing

"Now you have the evidence why the UAE "choked" away their chances at conquering a planet that might have secured them the whole galaxy," Kenny says. "Before we count down the top 5 reasons you can't blame them, here are some which didn't make the cut. We call them the Best of the Rest."

"Home Cooking."

"WHILE THE UAE WAS AN INFINITELY MORE POWERFUL ALLIANCE COMBINED THAN MY FIVE OR SIX RANGERS," says Zordon, "THEY FELT FAR MORE COMFORTABLE WHEN THEY WERE IN OR NEAR ANGEL GROVE THAN WHEN ON THE MOON."

"Indeed, the Power Rangers enjoyed a sizeable advantage in Angel Grove, which was where members of the UAE launched many of their attacks. The spandex-clad heroes lost very few battles in their home city, and when they did, they always returned stronger than ever."

"We started to believe that when we were fighting at home," says Tommy Oliver, with Kimberly by his side, "no one could take what was rightfully ours, at least not on our turf. We were fighting for not only the planet, but for an entire city that adored us. I don't even want to think about what could have happened if the UAE had lured us to the moon."

"Another Best of the Rest: Tutelage. While the Power Rangers were a group of teenagers who otherwise led normal lives, they were under the tutelage of some of the finest mentors in the universe."

"Zordon taught us what honor is all about," said Jason Scott. "He was not only a mentor, he was like a father figure."

"Along the way, the Rangers ran into other great mentors, such as Dulcea, the Keeper of the Ninjetti Power, and Ninjor, guardian of the Temple of Ninja Power."

"What I learned from mentors like Ninjor and Zordon," says Tommy, "were some of the things that helped me mentor my Dino Thunder Rangers."

"Ninjor and Zordon," says Katherine Hillard, "welcomed me into their lives so much after I saved Kimberly…you couldn't ask for better mentors."

"Coming up next…we'll begin our countdown, and we'll answer why the Rangers' Command Center was a major reason the UAE gets a pass."

"The Rangers' Command Center," says Lord Zedd, "was their sanctuary…their place to get away from the battle. And it was a place we could never touch."

(Music plays and segment ends)

TBC…