Harry potter Chalkboard gags
What if Filch did make them write lines?
Chapter 1
1: No matter how good a fake Australian accent he can do, I will not persuade Hagrid to imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
2: Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".
3: I am not allowed to attempt to breed a Liger during care of magical creatures class.
4: I will not use Umbridge's blood quills to write "I told you I was hardcore".
5: I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
6: Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing my wand" in the common room is not.
7: If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
8: House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
9: Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
10: I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.
11: Adding the name "Freddie Bueller" to Professor Binns' roster is not funny.
12: "Voldemort: The musical" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.
13: Seamus Finnegan is not "After me Lucky Charms".
14: The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror."
15: It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin that "Once you go Black, you'll never go back."
16: I will not call Lucius Malfoy "Lady man".
17: A magic eight ball is not a substitute for professor Trelawney
18: I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as "Gordon Ramsey's kitchen nightmares".
19: I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room" whenever they start to fight.
20: The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.
21: I am not a Dragon Animagus.
22: I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a basilisk, manticore, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
23: I do not weigh the same as a duck.
24: Professor Lupin does not need a flea collar.
25: Sirius Black is not Inmate #24601.
26: I will not lick Trevor.
27: I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
28: I am not being repressed.
29: Calling Lucius Malfoy "Lucius Mouthful" is just plain gross.
30: I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".