This is my contribution to the "Castle Halloween Bash 2014 Challenge" found on Tumblr. Takes place during Season 3 simply because in my opinion that season held the most growth for the "Caskett" relationship and the team as a whole. Hopefully, the banter between the characters in this story come across in the same way, if not relatively close too, the way it did on screen.
Also, just throwing this out there for anyone who might be interested; As I have said before I am a relatively new writer and I know my stories lack finesse and such. So if anyone reading this knows how to beta or edit and is interested, please let me know. I could greatly use the help and shared expertise.
"I'll put twenty on it with you, bro." Esposito and Ryan bumped their fists together, solidifying their bet. Lanie, to her credit, managed to refrain from the eye roll this moment desperately called for then replied, "Guys, she's coming. She's just running a little late." She checked the time on her watch for good measure then released a sigh. Maybe Lanie was wrong; maybe Beckett wasn't coming to the party this year.
It was that time of year again, time for Richard Castle's annual Halloween party and just like last year, and the team had been invited. Also like last year, the party had been in full swing and there was still no sign of Beckett. When the boys asked her earlier in the night whether or not she'd attend she had brushed them off by simply saying, "I'll see what I can do."
Castle hadn't been into the precinct at all that day, and his absence was reflected in Beckett's mood. She wasn't mad or angry that Castle hadn't gone in that day. On the contrary, she wore a smile on her face, laughed at the boys and the childish antics they did to pass the day away. No case meant no action, and no action meant a day filled with paperwork.
To the untrained eye it had seemed as if Castles absence meant absolutely nothing to her. As if it was normal for her to head into the break room and make her own coffee. As if her not eating a bear claw for breakfast was an everyday, ordinary occurrence.
But to the boys, Lanie and even Montgomery, they knew that wasn't the case. To them it was clear that her smiles were forced, and her numerous trips into the break room for coffee was because she couldn't even get her own cup made just right. Like the way Castle did, every single time, like he'd been doing it for years.
It wasn't the first time Castle was absent from the precinct, not by any means. Early on in their partnership it was normal for him to disappear for a meeting or book signing. Lunches with Alexis, even. Though lately, even his absence for more than a few hours, weighed heavily upon Beckett.
Putting on a show however, didn't make her miss him less. Because she did miss him; she missed him in all the ways she shouldn't miss him.
Now there they were, still waiting on Beckett's arrival, huddled close together by one of Castles many book shelves, sipping their 'Smoking Swamp Punch.' Lanie watched as Esposito continued to get tangled up with the plastic handle of his sword every time he tried to squat. His lost bet with Castle previously in the week meant he had to dress like a Ninja Assassin, Castle's idea of course. Now he had tights bunched in places where it shouldn't be and the plastic sword poking him in certain regions every time he squatted to adjust the tights. … He was definitely getting Castle back for that one.
Ryan, to his credit, was too busy with his own haunted theories to pay any mind to his floundering partner. Dolled up in his brightly colored and glittered, yes glittered, leprechaun suit with the matching hat and shiny black shoes, sipping from his glass of punch, he continued to stare at the bookcase. There were too many fake cobwebs scattered across it to make out what books Castle actually possessed, but Ryan couldn't stop himself from sizing the shelf up and down. Walking from one end of it to the other, skepticism written all over his face.
"You still trying to figure out how that thing turns around, Ryan?" Castle laughed at his friends, Ryan for being naïve enough to actually think his book case had certain haunted powers to it, and Esposito doing serious squats like he was at the gym.
Ryan looked over towards Castle before asking, "So Castle, have you seen Beckett yet?" He knew it was a low blow, even for him. It was one thing for him and Esposito to bust on him at the precinct when Castle made it so obviously clear that he was staring after Beckett as she walked away. Saying it outside of the precinct, in the man's own home no less was another. But that's what Castle gets for making Ryan dress like a leprechaun. He should've never bet against Castle when it came to Beckett.
Castle stilled at the mere mention of her name, reaching up to pet the fake parrot rested on his shoulder, suddenly feeling very nervous... Of course he'd noticed that Beckett hadn't arrived yet, it's all he has thought about since the party had gotten started. He stayed out of the precinct all day to get the loft prepared for tonight. He wanted everything to be perfect, even better than it was the year before. He wanted her to come and have a good time, mix and mingle with his friends and family. He just wanted her.
In true Castle fashion, he let it go, even though the party had started a few hours ago. "Uh, no. No actually I haven't. Too busy playing host and making sure Alexis's friends don't drink the wrong punch." That was a lie. A bold face lie, but he wasn't about to admit to his friends that regardless of where he was in his house, he kept an eye on the door. Every time the door opened his head lifted up over the slew of guests, just to see that it wasn't her.
"Don't pay attention to them, Castle. Pretty sure they've had more punch than is legally allowed." Lanie reached out to place a reassuring hand on Castle's arm, the green of her bracelet matching the green of Castles parrot. She knew a bracelet wasn't a traditional accessory for a Greek goddess in a toga, but she refused to wrap leaves around her wrist. 'Modern Day Goddess' was her costume of choice. She, unlike the boys, knew to stay out of the bet Castle had with them. She'd never bet against Beckett and how long it would take for her to close a case. No way in hell! "I'm sure she just got tied up finishing some paperwork."
With what he hoped was a nonchalant nod of his head, Castle walked away to mix and mingle with his guests. Lanie looked at the boys while they looked at their watches. They all left work at five o'clock on the dot, paperwork be damned. So they knew Lanie's line to Castle had been a lie.
The truth was no one knew where Beckett was or what she was up to. None of them had talked to her since they left the precinct. After an hour or two of the party being in full swing, they had all assumed she would be there any minute. Like last year, when she showed up fashionably late without a costume, just to scare castle with a bird coming out of her jacket. When the third hour started to come around, the boys placed their bet.
No one knew why Beckett didn't dress up for Halloween last year; in fact they didn't pay any mind to it at all. They just assumed her lack of an actual costume was done in order to pull of her prank. The night had ended, and they all met up at the precinct that following Monday with no question or comments about the party at all.
Come the end of the fourth hour a good portion of the guests had left the loft for the night. Alexis had already retired upstairs for the night with her friends, and his mother had gone to bed herself claiming exhaustion from all the party decorating. Castle knew that was her polite way of saying, "I make a damn good punch but I've had a few too many."
Castle headed over towards Lanie and the boys at the coat rack, even though he knew them leaving meant the end of the party, which in turn meant no Beckett sighting. "Skipping out, guys?"
"Yeah man, were beat. Sitting at a desk all day really does a number on ya." Ryan smirked when Castle chuckled.
"It was a good party though; bro. Too bad Beckett missed it." Ryan's elbow and Lanie's scowl was enough for Esposito to realize what he just said. … What was in that punch?
The boys walked out of the loft first after performing the customary 'Feed the Birds' gesture with Castle. Castle thought he seen Esposito slip Ryan a twenty but he couldn't be sure. Lanie had stepped right into his field of vision to give her thanks for the evening. "You really do throw a nice party, Castle."
With a bright smile and small wave, she followed the boys out of the door. Castle turned around to look into his loft, assessing the damage. Luckily it didn't seem too bad, a few cups scattered here and there. A few empty punch bowls on the counter in his kitchen along with the nearly empty bowl of 'Zombie Mix' were all that remained for actual dishes.
So with a heavy sigh Castle headed into his room to change before coming out to clean. He knew he didn't hide his disappointment well from his friends. And in all honesty, he didn't care. He wasn't sure what changed in him recently, but he knew it was for the better.
Sometime after his trip to the movies with Beckett to see 'Forbidden Planet,' he noticed he'd felt lighter. He wasn't naïve enough to think it didn't have anything to do with Beckett. He had just finally reached a point where he had accepted it. He accepted the fact that he had feelings towards this woman. Castle had also accepted that she wasn't available at the time, but that didn't mean he couldn't show her how he felt. Because obviously just showing up with coffee and a bear claw everyday wasn't enough proof for her.
So he resigned himself to the fact that from now on, he made it his purpose to make sure Beckett had everything she needed. If there was something he found along the way that he thought she'd enjoy, he made sure to give her that too. Regardless of the situation.
The knock on the door broke Castle from his musings. It was then he realized that he not only managed to change, but he also had the trash picked up and the dishes loaded in the dishwasher. Aside from the cobwebs and fake spider scattered everywhere, his loft seemed like it was back to normal.
Castle opened the door to reveal Beckett on the other side; her long tresses resting comfortably passed her shoulders, her fingers twisting nervously in front of her, seemingly not caring that Castle could see her that way. Nervous. She wasn't supposed to be anything less than a badass put together detective in his eyes. Not, not this.
"Hey Castle," Her voice sounded thick, like something heavy was weighing it down, yet small and soft at the same time. "Can I come in?" Castle moved to the side then gestured with his arm, beckoning her into the loft. "Course, yeah. Come in." Beckett ducked her head smiling shyly to herself as she entered. He was nervous too.
"What brings you by tonight, Beckett?" He hoped his voice sounded less harsh but somehow he knew that wasn't true. Regardless of his feelings toward her, he was still hurt that she didn't make it to the party.
Beckett sighed softly, pushing her nerves out also, before looking him squarely in the eye. She knows he deserves this, her pure honesty. If she wants him to understand, then regardless of how nervous she is, she has to do this. "I'm sorry I didn't make the party tonight, Castle." She watched as he took a breath, obviously not expecting this from her at all. And it stings. It shouldn't, but it does. Had he really thought so little of her now that a simple confession from her surprises him?
She cuts him off at his polite attempt to protest. "No Castle, just please listen?" At his nod she continued. "I don't… I don't want you to think that I didn't come tonight because I had other plans or because I wasn't interested in the party."
Truth be told, Castle had thought those things. He knew Beckett was with Josh. He knew that it was quite possible that they had plans of their own, as a couple. But those were the things he tried not to think about because the more he thought of her with him; the more it chipped away at the armor around his heart. And if he was going to withstand something as strong as his feelings towards Katherine Beckett, then he needed to be prepared.
Beckett reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear, needing something to do with her hands because by now, she was sure she picked every nail on her fingers, effectively ruining the manicure she and Lanie went for last week.
"The truth is Castle," she paused not sure how to say what it was she needed to say. It isn't something they talked about very often under normal circumstances, but she knew it needed to be said. She needed for him to understand. "Ever since my mom died, I'm not big on holidays. Any of them."
Beckett looked down at her shoes, suddenly feeling very small, weak even, in the wake of such a confession. It was stupid, she knew, to feel that way in front of him. He had never made her feel anything less than extraordinary, and it was silly for her to think now would be any different.
After a beat she spotted the sock clad toes of Castle feet in her peripheral, the step he took closer to her feeling more than just physical. She sensed his presence closer to he even moved. Knowing that he was close, in every way shed allowed him to be, gave her a settling feeling deep in her chest. All the negatives thoughts she had about herself and what he must think of her for not attending the party were suddenly forgotten about.
Beckett could see his arm moving with her head still down, his hand reaching up, as if he were going to actually touch her. But the touch she expected never came.
Instead she watched as his hand returned back to his side, suddenly clenching into a fist before releasing again. She hated herself suddenly, for making him restrain himself yet again when it came to her. She hated that he couldn't be as open and honest with her as she wanted him to be. But she also knew that it was her fault. She was with Josh and even though he was a good man, he wasn't Castle. It was wrong of her to keep Josh between her and Castle and she knew it. But deep down, she knew she did it because she was a coward. She was afraid of how she felt towards Castle, afraid of taking that step because when she did, that was it. He really was her one and done.
Hopefully someday, he would be…
With a heavy sigh once again, Beckett looked up to meet Castle eyes. The way he looked at her lately, was like something she couldn't describe. No one had ever taken her breath away, or made her heart literally skip a beat with just a look.
Castel finally sighed out a soft response. "It's okay, Kate. I understand." This time he couldn't help himself. He reached up, sliding his fingertips from her jaw line to her cheek bone, before settling his palm on her cheek. How could he not make such a gesture, when the woman who held his heart was looking at him like that, soft and apologetic with glossy unshed tears in her eyes? Josh be damned, he was doing this...
He held her gaze for a moment, hoping to convey through sight what he couldn't through his words. He wanted her to know that it was okay to feel small, in front of him. That it was okay for her to be scared. Because he was scared too. But he was still there, he was still waiting.
After a beat, Kate sobered, more so because it was needed, not because it was wanted. She couldn't stand there all night looking at him now could she? "It's late, I should go." Castle nodded sadly before removing his hand from her face, allowing her to step away and head for the door.
They were at the door to his loft faster than Castle would've like, Beckett secretly feeling the same. She allowed him to open the door for her, before stepping through the threshold and turning around. There was a respectable amount of space between them, making her miss his closeness that much more.
"Thank you for understanding, Castle." Beckett smiled softly at him, hoping it conveyed the genuine feelings she had towards him that she didn't quite have the courage to voice.
Castle couldn't help himself. He moved a tad bit closer than whispered softly, "Always, Kate." He planted a soft kiss to her cheek then backed away. He gave her one of the dazzling smiles she refused to admit had an effect on her then bid her a good night with, "Happy Halloween."
Beckett walked away smiling brightly. Maybe the holidays didn't have to be as bad as they used to be….