"Luke, you're back!" I pull him into a deep hug, but he doesn't respond. I glance up at him and his face is clouded with sadness.
"I just came to say I'm sorry sis. I screwed it up." His voice is cracking and I grip his shoulder and look him in the eyes.
"What matters is that you're here now and we can solve his mess. Together."
He pushed me away and shakes his head, tears brimming in his eyes.
"I've destroyed your family, Leia. Your son is lost to you and Han..."
I stifle a sob. The wound is too fresh and I lower myself on the floor; all the tears I've held back come rushing forth, first as strangled sobs then as cascading waterfalls. I bring my knees up to my heaving chest. All I wanted was our son back home. That's what got him killed. As I cry flashbacks of Han race through my mind. The rescue mission where I told him that for now on he'd do as i say(which became quite true), the garbage chute where we first hugged, the time he tried to convince me I had a crush on him, our kisses, the way he looked at me; as if i were the only one in the galaxy.
My heart aches as I remember the moment he was frozen in carbonite. The moment when I told him that I loved him. I didn't do it because I had to say it but because he needed to hear it. I had realized why he kept assuming I had feelings for him...he had feelings for me and couldn't; wouldn't admit it.
I feel Luke sit next to me and rub my shoulder. I did like him...sort of...but Han was the one who made my blood pump through my veins who still drove me mad after all our quarrels that transformed into fights. I can still see the delight on his face when i told him Luke was my brother. Our last hug still haunts me, his touch lingering.
I cry for all our good and our bad times until there are no tears left.
I rise my head and glance at Luke whose arm is around me and whose eyes are are sore from silent weeping.
"He loved you so, so, much Leia..."
"I know" I answer, plunging into another set of bawling.