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Something, But Nothing

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For some reason Kay felt an overwhelming tension these day around Jay. Okay. So maybe he was reading into it a little too much. After all, it had only been a week since his "reawakening" so to speak. Jay had to come and fetch him from that post office to restore his memory in order to help get Laura back to her planet. Kay felt like he remembered everything and he was sure of it, but there was something still very wrong.

At first he figured Jay was still grieving over Laura. God he'd loved her. How could he not? Much like her mother, it didn't take very long to fall in love with their kind, but unlike Kay, Jay's fate was far crueler – at least in his opinion. At least he – Kay – was able to have one night with his woman. He was given one passionate night to consummate that love and he knew. She knew. They both knew the night they made love that it would be the last time because the next time they were scheduled to meet, it would be under darker circumstances. And Jay. Jay was apart of that fate having fell for the princess like that. Yeah. He assumed that was why Jay was acting – in his opinion – so distant. Therefore he figured he'd eventually ask and get to the bottom of it. Eventually. But then Z had to go poking his nose in the kid's business which meant Kay would get no peace until he appeased him.

"Dammit Kay you've got to talk to him!" he pleaded. "I can't take his moping around anymore. It's just not right."

Kay spun around in his chair wearing his signature emotionless face. "And say what to him Z? You know full well that he's every bit of me. Why do you think I wanted him as a replacement?"

"Yeah but unlike you, he's not exactly hiding the fact that something's bothering him."

"Maybe he's having another mid-life crisis," Kay joked though to Zed it didn't sound like much of one. Zed only looked a little more horrified than usual which in turn made Kay sigh. No one but the kid ever got his dry humor. Feeling slightly defeated Kay stood to his feet and started towards the dormitories. "Hey…Kay where ya going?" Zed asked but Kay was already half way down the hall.

"Where do you think?" he mumbled.

Kay knocked on the kid's door. All the doors looked the same and if it wasn't for the tiny black name plates (J) on the doors, then you wouldn't have the first clue where to start looking for someone. "I'm busy," he says. Kay smirks and pushes the door open anyway. He is shocked to find Jay lounging around in just some boxers, his perfect torso exposed for all to see. He is laying on the bed staring up at the ceiling with a strange look on his face that Kay can't quite place. "Dammit didn't I – oh. It's you. Sorry," he mumbles though Kay can't help but feel like his apology was a little less than sincere. Nevertheless he ignores it and continues with his mission from Zed. Jay sits up swinging his feet to the side of the bed away from Kay and remains silent staring at the floor. Meanwhile Kay decides to just lean against the door and speak from a distance. Jay wasn't exactly hiding the fact that he wanted his space so Kay was going to give it to him. Not something he would normally do but then he'd never experienced a tension quite like this. He ignores it and manages to speak quite surprised that he's able to keep his monotone voice.

"How you feelin' Ace?" he asks.

Jay scoffs. "How does it look like I'm feeling?" His response catches him off guard, especially since he was sure Jay would lie. Not really knowing what to say Kay remains silent staring at the back of Jay's head lost in thought. Why is it weird now he wonders? Has it always been this weird? Kay shrugs it off. He looks over at Jay and decides he needs to get this over with so that he could retreat back to his lonely workstation to play some more slots.

He slowly starts towards the bed stopping momentarily when he sees Jay shift. He slouches over some more and then he shakes. Is he laughing? Kay frowns as he continues towards him stopping just inches away. He stands over Jay towering over the younger man who refuses to look at him. Kay studies him closely for a moment realizing that he had in fact been laughing. He shakes his head.

"Hey slick—

"You know I hated that name for months," he finally says, his voice dangerously low and filled with a bitterness that kind of stings. Stung. Kay had to fight to keep from frowning. It bothered him. He had been stung. Mr. I-Keep-All-My-Feelings-Bottled-Up was stung by Jay's bitterness but why? Why did it matter? They weren't THAT close. Never were in his mind. Not really. They had only been partners for 3 days so it wasn't like they had much time to actually bond. Kay forced himself to ignore that bitterness before smirking his signature smirk.

"Would you rather I not call you that?"

Jay was silent for a long time drawing Kay back to that uncomfortable tension letting him know that he was failing at life. Kay wanted so badly to leave well enough alone but then that would mean admitting defeat to Zed and that just wasn't going to happen. Jay briefly met his gaze but turned away quickly. "I don't – didn't like that name. Coming from you again I can almost tolerate it." He laughs. "Wow Kay. I just…but you were right."

"Right about what?" He blurts out the question before he could even think about it. Not normal for Kay. Not normal for Kay to be prying like this but this was weird. He now understood why Z was so concerned but the worse part about it was that Kay feared he actually wanted to know. It was not normal. It was unheard of. Kay stuck to Kay. Always had and always will especially since – but he didn't want to go there. Escape. Yep. It was time to escape and go back to being the grumpy guy everyone hated. Without another word, Kay turned to leave.

"Kay?"

Kay stopped. Not because he wanted to…well…a part of him DID want to stop but he wasn't actually intending to do so. He was going to wave it off, ignoring the soft voice because Jay would understand. Jay always understood. Even during training he would ask knowing full well he'd never get those answers. Persistent. Oh he was very persistent but he soon learned the looks; a way of communicating that always kept others on their toes and wondering about them. Kay loved it but then he hated it.

Hand. Wrist. Warmth. Kay turned back around towering over Jay. Jay was still staring at a spot on the floor but his hand held tightly to Kay's wrist. Kay stared down at him resisting the urge to snatch away from him. What the hell was going on with this kid? Jay suddenly let go of his wrist shaking his head.

"I'm…sorry," he mumbles and then a silence falls over the room again. Kay sighs.

"Kid you got us all worried."

Jay scoffs. "Nothing worries you."

"Just because I'm good at hiding them doesn't mean I don't feel them." Jay looks up frowning because he's slightly confused. Kay rolls his eyes. "Emotions kid. You know, worry, pain, discomfort..."

"Love?"

"Uh…yeah. That too."

"I wish I could be more like you."

"It's not always easy….hiding them but when you've been around as long as I have you eventually learn to turn them off. Right now I'm doing a shitty job of it because I'm actually worried about you."

Jay shakes his head. "Don't. I'll be fine. I just need some time."

"Figured as much." Kay smiles. "Want my advice?"

"Lay it on me."

"Have yourself a good cry. Let it all out. You'll feel better in the morning."

"I'll think about it."

Kay pats his head and then he's off at a quicker pace than usual. Once outside the room he breathes, quite happy to be out of that tense situation. He'll be alright he thinks and then he's gone.

Problem is he wasn't alright. Another day passes and Jay is yet to come out of his room. There were no impending assignments so it wasn't as if Jay HAD to come out his room but the fact that he didn't still had Zed worried.

"I thought you talked with him?" Kay stares at his computer screen doing his best not to show that he too was a little more than worried.

"He's a strong kid. Leave him alone. He'll come around."

"Yeah but what if he doesn't Kay? What if he never comes out of that room?"

"He will now will you give it a rest? It's not like you have an actual assignment for him."

"Actually that's the other reason I'm here. I do have something I want the two of you to check out, but I'm afraid you'll have to get Jay. I don't want him biting my head off."

Kay spins around in his chair not bothering to hide the fact that he was annoyed. He snatches the folder from Z and stalks off towards the kid's room. He knocks softly. "Jay it's me. I'm coming in."

He opens the door to find Jay standing there staring down at the floor. He's alive and well…Kay thinks. Or at least he looked like he was taking care of himself. He had showered – just got out from the looks of it and wow. Kay brushed the thought, chuckling on the inside as he recalled his younger self. He was never as good looking as Jay but he supposed he looked well enough otherwise…

"Assignment?"

Kay blinks startled by Jay's voice but then frowns having just realized he had been staring. Jay was half naked in front of him wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. His body wasn't quite dry and for unknown reasons Kay let it and his perfect abs hypnotize him. He nods his head. "Yeah. No idea what it is though. I haven't really had a chance to look and see."

"Don't bother. I won't be going."

"And why not? I could go by myself but I'd rather not now that I have a partner I can actually tolerate."

"Partner." He scoffs and turns his back to me. "Are we really partners this time or are you going away again?"

Kay blinks clearly stunned and taken back by his words. Partners? Going away? What the hell was Jay going on about now? "Uh…why would I be going away slick?"

Jay laughs as he turns around though his laugh is anything but humorous. If anything it's borderline maniacal. Kay suppresses the urge to react and just stands there wearing his signature look. "You know. Like last time," Jay mumbles. "You left me to go back and live with your wife not bothering to tell me that you were planning to leave me from the beginning."

"But I didn't think it mattered," he says with a shrug ignoring the emphasis on 'wife'. "You were young, happy and had the pretty doctor to keep you busy. Why on earth would you care what happens to me?"

He shouldn't have asked except it was the next logical question to ask in order to continue their conversation. Jay's response however, was not what he expected and truth be told he half thought it was all in his head. Jay turns around with this look on his face. Kay's not sure what the look means but he knows its unusual…the stare. The way his eyes seemed to fill up with water even though he had no reason to be crying. Leaving. Partners. Now Kay was officially concerned.

"Jay? What in the world is going on with you?" Kay's moving closer to Jay as he asks the question. He's moving without really knowing it. The only thing on his mind is figuring out how to help Jay. "Slick?" Jay finally does something he should have done a long time ago.

"Kay…I…" He starts to cry. The tears just started flowing down his cheeks and Jay starts sobbing like a small child in front of Kay. Kay's not too sure how to take this and he hates being in situations like this but he knows Jay is hurting. It isn't easy losing someone you love and the fact that Jay is still so young only makes matters worse.

Kay almost shoves Jay away when he feels his hands reach out and touch him – well his jacket anyway. It's nothing really but then it is something. Kay stands there and watches tensely as Jay runs his hands along his suit, Jay's fingers taking a particular interest in his tie. His fingers then expand revealing palms that are now taking a peculiar interest in his chest now. Kay inhales quite a bit of air but clamps his mouth shut tightly daring not to breathe. He watches tensely as the palms rise up and over his chest towards his shoulders sliding down his arms.

And then he feels himself being pushed forward and reluctantly he moves – stumbles actually – into Jay's arms. He freezes as Jay's arms come around his back holding him close to his chest. He breathes. Jay smells good he notes but the thought is quickly forgotten when he feels warm breath bouncing off his neck. He closes his eyes. Not because he is expecting something but more or less because he is trying to suppress a something. Thoughts? Feelings? Actions? He has no idea. In fact it is all in his head. Everything about right now is all in his head and yet…

Now Kay knows something is off. He shudders. Jay's lips brushed the side of his neck and he half shuddered, half jumped. Jay – seemingly unaffected – looks up and meets Kay's eyes. Kay is paralyzed beyond his control. He saw it coming. Or rather he did not see this coming but he had a feeling something was going to happen. Why else was there weird tension? Why else was he not playing the part of the Grumpy Guy? Why else did he allow himself to be cracked if only just a little?

Jay's forehead touches his and his eyes instinctively close. He can feel them…the lips brushing his own and then pressure. Not too much but just enough to force his lips to part – and they do – beyond his control. Jay's tongue slides into his mouth then encloses his lips. It's a kiss and it sets off a chain of events. Kay gasps…which startles Jay…who immediately looks up, face filled with shock and confusion. Kay dares not give him time to realize what has happened and like his life depends on it he backs away hurrying out of the room. He exhales then gasps for more air as he leans against the door. Some kind of familiarity. Its all too familiar like he's done it before. Oh right he has. It was just yesterday that he was running away from Jay to avoid something. Something. Oh gawd. Something indeed.

"Nope. It's nothing." Kay told himself.

AN: Anyone who knows me will tell you that I always SAY oneshot but it never happens. Um...I have no idea where this is going. I mean I know where it's going to get to eventually but as far as how long it takes to get there...well, who the hell knows? I am writing this because I had a dire need to read some Jay/Kay or Kay/Jay and there was none. The fangirl population is letting me down. How can you not have any Jay and Kay? Such a wonderful RARE pairing that needs more attention.

Hope you could read this alright. Trying a new writing style. Nothing else really work for this pairing so I'm having to try something different. Don't expect too much of an elaborate plot because there is none.

This fic was inspired by another short fic I came across. The title of it is "See you around, Jay" by WibSkelDS9. Yes, the fic is here on so be sure to check it out. Many thanks to the author for creating in me a new muse and writing such a touching little fic.