Truths and Fairytales

by hannah

—

.

—

You're standing there, staring unseeingly at the way the shadows fall and reflect against the dark glass. You're standing there, looking at me but not quite looking at me. You're standing there, and I wonder how this came to be.

You're standing there, and I almost smile—you came here to stop me; maybe even came here to tell me you've finally settled things with her, that everything's okay. My cheeks are wet—are those tears? No, they can't be, since I've cried it all out the night before and in the hot, steaming shower this morning.

But yes, they are tears, and they're coming steadily and you're just standing there, and I'm just standing here waiting for you to smile back at me.

And then you walk away.

And that hurts like a bitch.

—

Alana's her name; Alana Parker. Dr. Parker, she tells me with a smile. Pleasant, friendly, and vacant. I wonder if she hates her job. I hate her job.

I'm standing there, staring unseeingly at how the equipment in the room seems so unreal. I'm standing there, looking at the seat but not quite looking at it. I'm standing there, wondering how this came to be.

And then I think of you, and through the tears I let out a bitter smile.

—

"Are you ready, Miss Lyons?"

I can't hesitate. I won't. I'm ready. I nod. I open my mouth, and then I say,

"No."

My eyes widen and Dr. Parker's just narrow in confusion.

"I—I'm sorry." I shook my head and close my eyes. "I'm ready. Do it."

—

I can almost say goodbye. It's so tiny. It's so disgusting.

The tears won't stop now, and I feel disgusted. At the unborn child, at myself. I'm supposed to be reveling in the beauty of the moment, I'm supposed to feel profound. I'm supposed to cry and cry and cry and regret my decision.

But all I can think is how disgusting it is, and how much it hurts. It hurts so much.

Because I'm Claire Lyons, and I just hurt like a bitch. And because you're Derrick Harrington, and you're walking away. You're Derrick Harrington and you just don't care.

I don't own the Clique. Review? :) Like it, hate it, concrit it, I'd like to hear it from you, please.