Lucy sat on the sand, watching the waves as they gently lapped at her toes. She sighed a small, quiet sigh. Her heart felt like it was breaking, falling apart inside her. Bits and pieces were left hanging by a thread. Putting her head in her hands, Lucy sobbed quietly. The tears ran down her face, dropping to the ground, leaving their sad trails on her face.
Drawing her legs up to her body, Lucy sat in a huddled ball, shivering in the cold night. The cool wind came from the sea, blowing around Lucy. It smelled of salt, fish and Narnia.
"Why?" Lucy said out loud. She knew she was talking to herself but she half way wished some one would answer her. There was so much she wanted to know.
Did he really love her? Was he truly happy? Would he leave with her or would Lucy have to see them together for the rest of her life And most of all, why couldn't he see that she loved him?
Was it silly of her to love him? He was older and only looked at her has a friend. And she was a human, she wasn't a fawn, never could be. But if two people love each other does it really matter if one is fawn and the other human?
Lucy rested her head on her knees and gazed out over the water. Earlier she had seen a sea gull standing on the beach. It had stayed in one stop for a few minutes, just looking out over the sea as if deciding if it wanted to come or go. Finally, after a quick glance behind it, the bird had soared up on it's powerful wings and lifted itself into the sky. Without a second glance at the ground below it, the sea gull flew off across the water, heading off to wherever he wanted to go. Whenever it wanted.
Lucy wished she could just take off like the bird and fly away. Head away from everything and just fly over the sea as the sea gull had done. But she was stuck, and as long as she was stuck she would have to watch those around her.
Lucy didn't mind watching people, it was the fact that she had to watch Tumnus and his wife to be that killed her. It seemed that everybody was happy, or in love. Lucy was neither. There was only one thing she wanted.
Tumnus's heart. But he had already given it away. His wife to be was lucky, she was getting the best of fawns. They were made for each other, Lucy knew this to be true, and the truth caused Lucy to cry even more.
Off in the distance, Lucy could hear laughter. She knew Tumnus's laugh better than her own, and she could hear him along with his wife to be. They were outside on the balcony, just as they had been every night for the past few days.
They were always together and Lucy hadn't had a chance to talk to Tumnus alone. She had wanted to congratulate him in private, told him she hoped he would be happy. She had wanted to have one of their long talks once more before everything changed.
She would no longer be able to take walks with him on the beach, sit with him in the garden, stay up late talking just to see the sunrise, call for him whenever she needed an answer or a friend to talk to. He would have a family, a wife he would want to spend every waking moment with. No longer would she see Tumnus most hours of the day. Yes, gone were their long ours together and with that went Lucy's heart. Swept away like the sea gull on the wind, or the bits of sand on the waves. Gone and unsure if it might be seen again.