The second installment of my M.I. High retelling is here!
In this episode, Mr. Flatley develops a crush on Mrs. Templeman, the new drama class teacher, and resorts to getting a nosejob to try and make himself more attractive to her. However, he discovers the school knew it all along.
Read more about the "episode" at a place I created to try and explain the "show" at mihighsouthparkedition . wikia . com (remove spaces since this site doesn't like links!)
ACT I
It's another day at St. Hopes High, another day where all the kids walk in shitty and unwilling to do their work. The group of Oscar, Scoop, Blane and Stewart sat at the bus stop. Scoop was telling them a story he had of an encounter with Avril a few years back. "Then she flicks her hair, and I was like...*shakes head*...woah, she's fuuuuckin hoooot, man!"
"I never knew you liked Avril, how come we don't see any chemistry between you?" Oscar asked.
The reason Scoop brought up Avril in the first place was because he remembered a spat they had during a brief relationship they had. Scoop was getting distracted by everything else, and Avril took this as neglect. "Well I mean...you know...We dated for a while, then we fell out, she thought I was neglecting her because I kept getting distracted. We're friends now, but none of you should ever bring it up in front of her, it might fuck it up." Scoop solemnly says. "We've all been mates since we were in middle school, of course we won't!" Stewart leaned out and said.
"Good." Scoop softly said, putting his head down and realizing that he could have had a happy life with Avril but it went down the drain.
The bus pulls up. "Come on boys, get the FUCK IN THE BUS!" Mr. Stark shouted. The boys get on the bus and sit in their usual seats. Scoop looks at Avril, and puts his head down. Meanwhile, Stewart was explaining the entire Back To The Future franchise to Oscar, who almost looked like he was about to blow up. Blane was eyeing Daisy, as she laughed around with her friends. The bus pulls up at St. Hopes, and the students walk in.
Scoop thinks of approaching Avril and apologizing, but decides against it. He was in no mood to get pulled into an argument. Mrs. King calls in a whole school assembly. Everyone mopes in and drops to their butts, sitting and waiting for the bore-fest to begin.
"Good morning, pupils. IF I CAN CALL YOU...PUPILS. I've seen NOTHING from you people other than UTTER disrespect over the past few weeks. I have had enough of the disorderly behavior of you all! All of these wrappers, your 'slang', don't forget the amount of foul obscene language you guys seem to spit out on a minutely BASIS! I would like to name just a few of you disrespectful people."
Mrs. King flips out a piece of paper. "Timothy HINKLEBOTTOM!". That was Scoop's real name. He looks up. "You might want to quit listening to *mock voice* Squizzle FM when the teacher is talking! You are not clever! School is for work, not pop culture drivel!"
A pause. "Donovan BUTLER!". A kid with suspenders and posh hair that looked like he came straight out of the 1940s looks up. "Kicking footballs indoors! Next football will be confiscated for GOOD!"
She pauses again. "Davina BERRY!". A very fashion-leaning girl looks up. "Violating the school dress code! You will report to my office right after this assembly!"
Another pause. Then...the bombshell.
"Avril FRANKLIN!" Oscar gets a sudden wave of nervousness. He always gets nervous when she gets into trouble. "Chanting protest slogans during class hours and disobeying what is set in stone! You won't think you're so clever when you're in the real world, and somebody pepper sprays your eyes! You are a student, not a martyr! You have detention for yesterday's 'STOP THIS SLOP' charade!"
Avril crushes the schoolbooks she had in her hands.
"And now that we've named the four, we would like you to stand for the national anthem."
The school stands, except Avril. She stays in her seat. Oscar stays sitting too, which prompts the rest of the boys to sit. Oscar grabs a bit of poster board, and scribbles: "FUCK YOU MRS. KING!". God Save The Queen begins to play. Those who stayed sitting didn't sing. Oscar holds the board over the students during the anthem. Avril grabs her cassette player from her bag and turns on the Sex Pistols' God Save The Queen. The school struggles to sing. Mrs. King puts her palm on her face. Avril wound up not attending the detention later.
After the entire fiasco, it was drama class. Mrs. Templeman was the new teacher; the last teacher provoked a physical confrontation with Scoop who managed to beat the guy up and win the fight but with no teacher knowing. Their task? Doing the same old bullshit: Romeo & Juliet. Oh yes, every high schoolers' fucking nightmare that isn't school itself.
Mrs. Templeman begins by saying: "Acting..." but is interrupted by Fifty Pence stumbling out of the bathroom, having not even washed his hands after taking a hard long shit from the Domino's he had the night before. He walks over to Stewart. "Critchley! That homework you done for me, I got an F minus!" he says. Stewart shoots back with: "Maybe your family can frame it, your highest mark ever!". Fifty just walks off. He walks past Scoop, and the two share a death glare.
"...Just because it's drama class doesn't mean you can act like idiots!" Templeman frustratingly mutters. Three-four hours into the job, and she's already a broken mess. That's St. Hopes High for you. Blane asks: "Miss, when can we get to act out those kung-fu movies?", and starts imitating kung-fu fighting and noises with Stewart. Oscar and Scoop join in.
"Now...acting...is about not being afraid to let yourself go. This exercise is about trusting people to catch you even if you fall. So, Kaleigh, you can go first!"
Kaleigh was a friend of Daisy's. The people catching her were some of Fifty's posse. They do so without any words. "Well done!" Templeman says, when it goes well. "Daisy!" Daisy positions herself, and Blane, Stewart, Rose Gupta, and Fifty Pence position themselves to catch her. "Come on, you can trust us!" Rose says. Daisy puts her arms around herself. "Okay...okay...I can do this!". She lets herself go, but Fifty Pence suddenly grabs her arm, twists it, and snaps it. Daisy lets out a squeal, and when she falls, she bursts into a massive explosion of sobbing and tears. "AAAHH! MY ARM! MY ARM! WHY! WHY!". Her exclamations were pretty much like Nancy Kerrigan's, except even worse.
Fifty looked coldly. Stewart turned to him. "Uh mate, did you just snap her arm?". Fifty, trying his best to look cool, flippantly says: "Yeah it was an accident, bruh." Blane runs to help Daisy. Oscar walks up to Fifty. "Great going, retard.", and walks away. Soon after, she is taken away via ambulance to get the arm X-rayed and relocated. Mr. Flatley walks in to see Templeman. "How did the class go?", the goofy headmaster said. "It was going fine until one of our students snapped another's arm for no apparent reason.". "Oh...oh, is that why there was paramedics outside! I would have never known! *nervously laughs*.". He's goofier than usual, in that he has a raging crush on Mrs. Templeman.
When he leaves the room, many ideas storm his brain. "Come on Flatley! You need to be with her! Try and make yourself look more attractive!" his angel side. "No you fucking shit cunt, don't! She's a toe rag!", his devil side said. Flatley decided to go with the angel side. "Hmm, how do I make myself more attractive?", Flatley asks himself. He walks in the corridors, until he notices Templeman in her new office taking out pictures of noses and licking her lips. "What...the...fuck?", Flatley almost muttered, until he realized. "That's it! I'll get myself a rhinoplasty!". A rhinoplasty is plastic surgery on your nose.
Avril, going to the art room, overhears him say it. Flatley goes back to his office, forgetting that it was time to do the school news. Avril follows Flatley, and storms in the door as he is setting up the computer to transmit the news off. "Flatley, did you just say you wanted a nosejob?". Flatley jumped out of his chair. "Oh...oh...my, how did you hear that Avril?". "You were saying it out loud. Look..."
Avril takes the seat next to Flatley. "Plastic surgery is unnatural, you realize that? Who is this for anyway?". Flatley feels comfortable enough to say it: "Fine...it's just that...I like...the new teacher. You know, I find her...not...ugly...". "You like Mrs. Templeman? Well, I don't blame you, she looks really hot and all but...you're really gonna get plastic surgery over someone you like? It's unnatural! It's using chemicals quite harmful to the environment, thinking about it more. I'm pretty sure she will like you for who you are, you shouldn't have to change! You should be ashamed of yourself!".
What Flatley was unaware of was that the entire ordeal was on every TV across the school. Classes watched as Avril attempted to discourage Flatley from getting a nosejob. Nobody batted an ear to Avril thinking Mrs. Templeman was hot, all attention was on Flatley. It was really, really, really bad. "Avril, I am going to get Mrs. Templeman one way or the other. Just let me do what it takes please!" Flatley said, still goofy but attempting to get serious. Avril gets up. "Hope your happy when your plasticness worsens climate change.", and shuts the door. "...what a little bi-Oh! I am Kenneth Flatley and here is the news!"
Avril stomps away. It's only a matter of time before Flatley sets himself up to be owned.