Hermione's Nightmares
Hermione Granger was reading late in the night. There would have been nothing unusual about it, had it not been for the fact that it was almost three o' clock. She was looking very drowsy and no doubt, could do with a good night's sleep. But she almost seemed determined not to sleep. No….. She seemed desperate to avoid sleep. She was in a morbid fear of sleeping.
But, her body finally accepted what her mind was not ready to hear. Her head began drooping and finally, she fell asleep on the couch with the book lying open on her face.
Harry was fighting the Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries. Hermione was fighting by his side. They had gone there to save Sirius, but it had all been a ruse. But even though help had arrived, they hadn't been able to save Sirius. He had gone through the Veil.
Hermione was standing behind her parents as they slept peacefully, not knowing that they were going to wake up to a life falsely created for them. With shaking hands, she whispered, "Obliviate." She knew what she had to do. She planted false memories in their mind. In this alternative life, they had no daughter. They planned to move to Australia as soon as possible. Hermione left the home, her hands still shaking, but her tears hidden resolutely, for she knew that it was their own safety.
Harry, Ron and Hermione were in the Malfoy Manor, when Bellatrix chose to torture her. She used the Cruciatus Curse on her, not once or twice, but so many times, that Hermione lost a count of it. Bellatrix ran the cursed silver knife all over her hands and torso making deep cuts, enough to cause agony, but not enough to kill her. She questioned her about the sword and Hermione gave her the first and only story she could come up with. She had never been good at lying, but she had managed. As soon as her lie was verified, Bellatrix resumed making cuts and gashes all over her body, but this time with her wand. Harry and Ron broke free of their confinement, but as soon as they did, Bellatrix began pressing the knife into Hermione's throat. Hermione whimpered, or as much as one could whimper when one was choking on a knife. The last image of a chandelier falling on her, as she finally lost consciousness.
They were at Hogwarts. Spells were flying all over the place. It was no organized fight, it was a confused melee. Just as they were going to the Shrieking Shack to try to destroy Nagini, the wall crashed on Fred in front of her eyes. All the wind was knocked out of her at the sight of her Fred lying dead, a ghost of his previous smile still etched upon his face. She wanted to scream and cry until she could not feel at all, but they had a job at hand.
Hagrid was carrying something in his arms as Voldemort's victory party entered the Great Hall. The body in Hagrid's arms looked suspiciously like Harry. She didn't want to believe it, but as soon as Hagrid put him down, her worst fears were confirmed. It was Harry. "NOOO…", she cried..
"NOOOO….", Hermione woke up screaming. She was panicking. She could barely breathe. All she could think of was that they had lost the battle and Harry was dead. Slowly, the reality set in. She could breathe a little better, now. She began sobbing at the memory of her nightmare. It had seemed so real…..
Hermione calmed herself down, "You are safe Hermione. We have won the battle. Voldemort is defeated. Everything is going to be alright now." As she said this to herself, the memory of Fred, Remus, Sirius, Tonks, Dumbledore came to her mind. As the image of her parents rose unbidden in her mind, she began sobbing again. She knew that what she had done had been for good and that there was no other way. But still, she hoped they were here. Whenever, the year was a bit traumatic, which was practically every year, she liked to tell everything to her father. He would put his arms around her and let her cry. He would let her be weak. With him, she didn't have to be strong and she could be frightened daddy's little girl. Somehow, she never talked much about the war with her mother. They talked of trivial day-to-day things and books. She retained some sense of normalcy because of that. Talking light-heartedly of small things was like a therapy. Sobs racked through her body as these small memories of her parents came to her mind.
She controlled herself knowing they wouldn't want her to be unhappy. She decided to drink coffee, knowing it always helped. Somehow, in spite of being British, coffee had always been her drink of choice. She made her coffee and sat quietly in the kitchen taking small sips. Harry and Ron were asleep and there was no point disturbing their just because she couldn't sleep. Merlin knew they needed it as much as her. She just wished someone was there to talk to. And as understanding as she was Ginny wasn't an option, because she just wasn't that mature. Besides, the Quidditch practices with the Holyhead Harpies always left her tired.
So lost she was in her reverie that she did not hear footsteps coming downstairs. But as soon as the door to kitchen opened, she whipped out her wand and pointed it at the person who had come through. Or rather, two people who had come through. Then she gave a sigh of relief, sank down in the chair and resumed sipping her coffee. Ron asked sympathetically, "Nightmares?" Hermione just exhaled and nodded. She looked away. She did not want them to see the tears that threatened to overwhelm her at the memory of her nightmares. She had always been the one to mother them, but she was exhausted now.
Harry sat beside her and put his arm around her. Grateful for the support, she leaned on him, resting her tired head on his shoulder. Ron put his arm around her from the other side and rubbed her back soothingly. Harry broke their comfortable silence, "Hermione, you should speak about the nightmares. It helps. When Cedric was murdered in the cemetery, I used to have nightmares too. Well, you know that. But the thing is that, I felt better when I spoke about it to both of you or Sirius or anyone. Not that I spoke to anyone apart from you two and Sirius. but it really does help. I tried numbing myself after Sirius' death. It did not work. I mean, it's up to you. But, you know you can trust us. We are here to help you."
Hermione looked at him gratefully and began speaking, "It's about everything, you know. Sirius' death, Godric's Hollow, Malfoy Manor, Battle of Hogwarts. But worst of all…", her voice caught. A lump formed in her throat, swallowing it painfully, she whispered, "…it's my parents. I miss them. They are in Australia. That's all I know about them. Nothing about their location, their well-being or anything. I just – I just miss them so much. I don't even know whether they are alive or not." Her voice broke in the last sentence. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and gave a violent sob.
Harry and Ron looked at her sympathetically and patted her back. Ron spoke, "Hermione, you did the right thing. At least they are safe from magical torture! Besides, they wouldn't want you to be unhappy. And if you are wondering whether they will forgive you if you have a chance to restore their memories, then let me tell you that they will. They will understand Hermione." Hermione gave a small, sad smile at Ron's words.
Then Harry looked at her sharply and asked, "when did you go to sleep, Hermione?" Hermione looked down at this and coloured under their keen gaze. "Umm.. I don't really know. You know. Just. Sort of fell asleep while reading", she muttered. Harry shook his head and said sternly, "Hermione you can't do that. You shouldn't. You are so brave. Then why do you keep running away from your nightmares? I know they are painful, but the more you avoid facing them, the more painful they will get. And you have to know that we are there to help you out. Sleep in our room if you want to. Just don't do this to yourself. Becoming an insomniac is not an option, Hermione." Ron asked Hermione in a slightly hurt tone, "And why do you never wake us up or tell us? We are your best friends, for Merlin's sake! And I know that you have always mothered us, but that doesn't mean that we can't help you at all. I don't know how your common sense manages to desert you at such times." Hermione shook her head at Ron's words, but smiled nonetheless.
She answered, "I'm really sorry, Ron. I was worried that even your sleep would be disturbed. But I think I am going to take you for your word Harry. Not that it would really matter after the three of us living together in a tent for most part of a year." She ended with a small laugh.
She looked at them and knew that they would always have her back, just like the earlier times. And with their help and support, she could fight off her own nightmares and help them fight off theirs. And suddenly, the prospect of sleeping seemed very inviting again…..