Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, just borrowing them for a little while. No copyright infringement intended.
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing! How can there be nothing?!" Sherlock fumed. Storming about the room upsetting stacks of files and crashing into his chair.
"Have you checked your phone? Or your email?"
"Yes. Of course, John. I'm not an idiot."
"Well don't start shouting at me. I'm sure shouting is what got you into this to begin with. You could always call her and just ask."
John sighed and shook his head at his obviously frustrated friend. He had faced many bizarre cases and crimes with Sherlock Holmes but the man could always surprise him. Two years ago he had pulled off the most agonizing and astonishing combination of feats by falling to his death before John's eyes and then rising from the dead a year and a half later. John would have sworn that nothing Sherlock could do from that day forward would be more shocking. But he was wrong, Sherlock had another big surprise: Molly Hooper.
Six months after his return, Sherlock had asked for relationship advice of all things. Apparently when a woman helps you fake your death and becomes the only tether to life during an eighteen month exile, you develop feelings for her, regardless of your previous statements to the contrary. And John was thrilled to help because if Sherlock was "attached" then John would be able to further develop a relationship of his own with a pretty primary school teacher named Mary. So John had provided instruction on how Sherlock should approach Molly to ask her for a date. Earlier in the week, Sherlock had succeeded in taking the pathologist to coffee but, unfortunately, the date had backfired.
"I did not shout at her, I assure you."
"Then what did you do that resulted in her dumping scalding coffee in your lap?"
"Nothing unusual, I was just myself."
"That was your first mistake," John scoffed.
"Yes, thank you, I admit I may have miscalculated. But how do I fix it?"
"Apologies are a good place to start."
"Obviously. But she won't return my calls. I think she's avoiding me."
"Whatever you did must have been pretty terrible then, Sherlock. Well done."
John went back to his paper. He was secretly a bit proud of Molly for standing up to Sherlock. For all he put her through, she deserved to get a little back at the detective. John still wasn't sure what attracted her to the man. He could be downright infuriating and had taken advantage of Molly on numerous occasions. The lengths she must have gone to during the whole exile were beyond John's imagining. It would serve Sherlock right to have to figure out this little puzzle on his own. But John was curious to know what exactly happened between the odd couple. Once Sherlock swept to his bedroom to sulk there, John texted Molly.
I'm really sorry about your date. What did he do? - JW
He didn't tell you?! - Molly
No, keeps avoiding direct questions. Wants my help but I'm on your side. Anything I can do to help? - JW
Thank you, but I really think this is between the two of us. Not that I'm sure what 'we' are.
You can tell him he might want an answer to that question before he tries to contact me again. - Molly
The pieces were beginning to come together. Sherlock looked to have tripped on a classic relationship stumbling block. Women like to know where they stand. And John had a pretty good idea of what Sherlock had said to end up with a lap full of arabica.
"Sherlock," he shouted down the hall, "Did you tell Molly that you wanted her to be your girlfriend?"
In response, Sherlock came bounding back into the sitting room, yelling "No I didn't say she was my girlfriend! I have explained, I despise the terms boyfriend and by extension, girlfriend."
Sherlock looked genuinely disgusted to even utter the words in the privacy of his own flat. Of course he wouldn't have used them in public, in front of Molly and possible witnesses.
"Then how do you define the relationship you are trying to establish with Molly?" John raised an eyebrow. Surely with enough hints the great detective would see where his mistake had been.
"What are you talking about, John? It's a relationship. One with both emotional and physical components," Sherlock muttered, adding under his breath, "...hopefully."
This was new. If John didn't know better he would have thought the full grown man staring into space on the sofa was actually a lovesick teenager. As much as he wanted Sherlock to learn his own lessons, John was going to have to help. Otherwise he'd completely mess up this whole thing. Both Sherlock and Molly deserved happiness.
"Okay, Sherlock, there are a few things you're going to need to know about women…"
NB: This is part of a one-a-day Sherlolly challenge. Some days are good, some days are "a bit not good" if you get my meaning. This little drabble has lots of potential so this is mostly the set-up for a series of advice pieces. What lessons does our detective need to learn about women, especially Molly? Please drop me a line with suggestions. Other prompts are welcome too! - CG