Holmes reflects on the sadness he feels when Watson continuously declares that it is "not us. You."
Whenever this scene happened in the movie, I couldn't help but say "aww…" It was so sad and Holmes looked absolutely miserable. But Watson went with him anyway.
So I wrote this. On a bit of a whim I dare say. It's short – finally I made a small one – and a tad odd I suppose. Like a stream of consciousness with a bromance.
I hope it is enjoyed.
Not Us
Not us. You.
Every time Watson spoke those words, it hurt.
I would give a start. Often, I would try to hide my pain by looking elsewhere or by merely continuing my conversation. Even as I did, I felt Watson's eyes on my back.
Other times, such a statement shocked me and I found myself involuntarily looking to Watson, as if by looking at my dear doctor, I could discern that those words had truly never come from him but were instead a hallucination I had conjured up out of my own paranoia that he would indeed leave me.
But, even as I thought this and hoped beyond hope that he was merely playing a cruel joke in attempts to gain my full attention – for my mind wandered relentlessly during a case – I knew that he meant what he said. For as soon as my eyes met those crystalline sapphires, I saw that poignant truth gleaming dully back at me.
I knew that, as I stared at him, my own eyes shone with a sadness I could never explain for it was beyond the possible capabilities of description. A sadness that burned deep within my very heart, making my chest ache. A sadness that tore at my insides in anguish and despair.
I knew that I contained such sadness because it was mirrored in those pools of blue.
Gazing into Watson's eyes, I saw that same sadness that constricted my throat and hitched my breath. His own eyes glistened with it and the twitch of his lip did not go unnoticed nor did the softening of his tone as if the very statement tasted foul on his tongue. His eyes narrowed sadly and he swallowed the lump in his throat that had similarly formed in mine.
But then why say it when it hurt him as obviously as it did me?
Why can we not be "us"? Why must it only be "me" and "you"? How can we function without an "us"?
How can we still be brothers if we are not bonded by an "us"?
But, if we could not be "us", then surely us can still be a "we".
No, that will not to either. "We" is too much like "us". We can not longer be an "us".
Now it is only me.
But then tell me, my dear Watson.
If we are no longer "us" then why is it that you still follow me without question, watching my back, acting as guardian and mother to this old boy? Why do you still stand by my side, ready to fight with me against any enemy; ready to solve any case.
If you do not have an answer, then let me supply you with my own.
For you see, we do not have to be "us" and us do not have to be "we" to be partners.
If we can not be "us" then let you and I merely be friends.
And the word friend, my dearest Watson, is stronger than "us".