Kinda angsty to begin, first go, see what you think.
I spend my days wondering how I can get closer to you, but when I do I can't bring myself to talk to you. Every waking moment my thoughts revolve around you, where you are, what you're doing and how I can ever be a part of that. You kindly give me the briefest of smiles as I pass you in the corridor, my chest constricting with adrenaline, and I spend the rest of the day wondering what you meant by it, if you know how I feel and if you feel the same.
I want to be able to tell you how I feel but am afraid that you you will shoot me down, destroy any hope within me, slim though it is, that you will possibly reciprocate the feelings that I have for you. It is safer for me to stand by, watch, and nurture the posiblitity within my heart that you could ever love me, than to risk the rejection and the inevitable despair and depression that it would bring. This is how I must live my life, for you are too beautiful, too perfect for me to ever be with you, but I must live in hope, for to admit defeat would be to end any point in continuing to exist.
You're approaching me. I don't know why, its the end of transfiguration and I'm gathering my stuff after another pointless, fruitless lesson of sitting, watching the way you play with your hair as you pay slight attention to the teacher, occasionaly answering a question with a gorgeous, languid raise of a pale wrist. And yet you're coming up to me with that slight smile on your face that I know so, so well, looking as though you're about to speak.
Oh shit, she's spotted me, she knows, she's found me out and she's going to say something derisive and I'm going to look stupid...
"Hi", she says, the smile broadening a little in the way she does when shes being friendly, but I'm too busy panicking to get anything positive from this.
"H-Hi", I reply. Damn the ridiculous nervous stutter! "Um, your hair looks nice today".
She smiles at me a little more as I cringe inside at the ridiculous, unnecessary compliment I've just blurted out, my face reddening hugely.
"I was just wondering if you could maybe help me with the homework, I didn't quite get it in the lesson". She's put her head slightly on one side at this point, eyebrows slightly raised with her deep green eyes looking penetratingly at me and I'm melting inside. I can't possibly miss this opportunity.
"Yeah sure, when do you want to meet up?", I manage to get out around my dry, clumsy mouth.
"Maybe in a couple of hours, before dinner, in the Library?" she suggests, still holding my gaze with those seemingly bottomless eyes.
"Sure", I say. Well I'm hardly going to disagree, am I?
"Good", she confirms, gathering up her bag, "its a date". With which she walks out of the classroom, long golden hair swaying, as I stand almost open mouthed.
Maybe there's hope after all.
Any reviews would be appreciated.