What You Deserve Over What You Wish
By Marns AKA Bumpkin
Sterek
Gen/PreSlash
Wordcount: 5912

AN: Much thanks to Erisah_Mae and Nogitsune_lichen from AO3 for their help when I was struggling to write this. :D

Summary: Derek and Stiles are searching for Erica and Boyd over the summer. They think they have found a lead, but instead get much more. The more is good or bad, depending on who you ask.

Lilith barely noticed the two when they came into the bar, not beyond how you automatically look up when someone enters the space you are already in. She had idly noted that they were both attractive, if not in the same way, but it was only aesthetically as they were the wrong sex for either of them to be her type. The younger of the two didn't seem to get the message about her lack of interest because he was heading her way after a quick consultation with the bartender and some papers the kid had in hand. The lousy bartender of course had pointed her out to the kid; dammit, she was going to have to think up something interesting for that 'helpful' bartender later. She managed to school her face to not show the irritation she felt as the kid bounced in her direction, a huge smile on his face that looked oddly tinged with relief, as he tried to yell something over the loud music blaring through the bar to her, "Erica, oh thank god! Where's Boyd?"

Lilith stopped her eyes from rolling when she made out what he was saying. Really? The slightly updated version of that tired old 'Haven't we met?' trick, how lame. She didn't bother letting him get in close enough to hug her like it looked like he was going to try and do, she just let fly with the spell that she had long ago perfected for situations like this to deal with this presumptuous kid. See, Lilith was a lot older than she looked - a lot older, centuries older - and a very powerful witch, so she'd had to deal with more than her fair share of both men and boys trying their various tricks. The spell she'd hit the kid with was one she'd carefully crafted long ago as a way to deal with these men, she called it the 'May you get what you deserve and not what you wish' spell. It wasn't necessarily a bad spell, or evil, but it certainly wasn't a nice spell. It was fashioned in a way to make the recipient more aware of the pheromones in the air and gravitate towards the person who was most attracted to them, which generally wasn't the person they were the most attracted to, hence the 'deserve over wish' name of the spell. Unfortunately, the way the spell worked also made the recipient more fertile – she hadn't quite worked that bug out – but as she generally cast it on men and not women she didn't feel that aspect was all that worrisome since men weren't at risk to become pregnant.

What the spell didn't normally do, was cause the recipient to fall down screaming in pain like it did to this kid. Lilith immediately engaged her mystical senses and knew then that she had made a mistake – threefold over.

The boy writhing in agony at her feet was a 'Spark', and not completely a boy from what she could see using her mystical senses as her spell made certain changes in him in order to facilitate itself. She was also forced to notice now that the older man he'd come into the bar with was an Alpha werewolf - that much was obvious from the dull red glow in his eyes that he was trying to subdue lest he let the world know of werewolves - but what wasn't as obvious was the red cords on the astral plane that tied the two together. Mind, body, heart, and soul, they were mates; although not consummated yet she could tell as the cords were still faint and partially see-through. Thanks to her spell that wasn't going to be the case for much longer, crap again.

And finally, to drive her further into guilt were the papers that had fallen from the kid's grasp while the pain ripped through him; they were pictures, one of a rather robust and solemn black boy and the other of a girl who was her doppelganger. "Shit," she muttered as she realized the kid hadn't actually been trying anything or hitting on her, he'd honestly thought that she was this 'Erica' that he'd called her as he was crossing the bar. No doubt the other kid in the photos was the Boyd that he'd been asking about. Damn, what did she do now? Especially as the Alpha was getting very close and the last thing she wanted to do was try and deal with an enraged Alpha in a mostly public setting. Public right, she really needed to do something about the havoc that her spell was causing while still keeping the supernatural under wraps.

She dropped to her knees and began to act like she was trying to figure out what was wrong for the benefit of all the eyes that they had drawn in the past few seconds, and just seconds later the werewolf joined her on the ground. He was growling at a subsonic level, she doubted human ears could hear it even standing right next to him, but it was strong enough that they would 'feel' the threat of it without realizing why.

"Take his pain," she said quietly, taking control of their interaction from the start hoping that it would keep him from eviscerating her and allow her the time to think up some way to explain why his not-yet-mate had reacted like he had when he got within a few feet of her person. Then she had a brainwave, "I can't do anything to help him since it was him coming within my magical aura that triggered this." She knew he wouldn't hear the lie thanks to a little protection spell she always cast when she knew she was going to somewhere horribly public.

"What?" He asked with absolutely no inflection as he glowered at her under some truly impressive eyebrows, but she could tell he was calming down as he reached out and gathered the boy into his arms. He slid one arm under the top layer of the kid's clothing as he pushed the undershirt out of the way to rest bare skin against bare skin while hiding the black lines that would be streaking up his arm at the pain draw. The kid quieted down and appeared to have passed out, but he still looked bad; he was pale and sweating and looked half dead. She sighed with relief that at least he was better off than before and took the time to gather together the pictures that the kid had dropped and her own things as the wolf did as she asked. She had also taken a second during the initial drain to deepen the soul and body cords that tied the two together, the boy was going to need stronger access to his mate's healing if what she suspected was happening was really happening.

"He's a spark, and something else that I can't get into here." She muttered at a volume only a 'were' would be able to hear as she flowed to her feet. He followed her lead and cradled the now seemingly unconscious boy to his chest as he too stood. "Follow me, I'll do my best to help but we have to go somewhere else to do it." He nodded and trailed after her quietly enough as she stopped to gather her things and then out of the bar. Once they were outside she paused, "Do you want to try and drive yourself and follow me, or would you rather I drive to where we need to go and you can keep holding him and taking his pain?"

His answer was immediate, "You drive."

"Okay," she nodded decisively and led him over to her battered old CJ-5 Jeep. He took one look at her rather disheveled multi-colored vehicle and snorted. "What?" she asked him crossly, before she heatedly said, "I'll have you know that the CJ-5 has a distinct honor of being hard to kill and that even if he's not pretty that he still runs like a dream, well a finicky dream but still-"

He cut her off, "No, I know all about CJ-5s and how they are the automotive version of a brave and noble steed, it's just that it figures." He nodded to the boy in his arms, "Seeing as this one also drives a CJ-5." It was her turn to snort as she lost her disgruntlement on behalf of her Jeep.

"Well, at least in that aspect of his taste I can't fault him." She opened the passenger side door and pushed the seat back as far as it would go before ushering him to get in. He did and she closed the door behind him. She then walked around to the driver's side and after tossing her things into the back climbed in herself. She buckled up and then did her little routine to make sure the jeep would start. She heard a muffled sound of amusement beside her and shot her sensate passenger a questioning look before realizing, "Oh, I gather he has a similar routine to get his Jeep running?" She asked with a nod to the pale and sweating boy in his arms.

"Yeah." His voice was husky and laced with more than a little strain. Lilith abruptly remembered that a werewolf also felt the pain they took, and that if it went on too long it could drain the werewolf to the point of death. Also, the fact that who he was draining the immense pain from was his almost mate, and yeah, no wonder he was sounding rough. She decided to explain as she drove them towards her chosen destination, at least the explanation she had thought of back in the bar that left her less complicit.

"So, I promised I'd tell you later what is happening, and now is later enough I guess, and I should also make sure you know what to do when we get to where we're going." She could feel the weight of his gaze on the side of her head and hoped he was focused enough on the kid… "By the way, what are your names? I can't keep thinking of you as 'the kid' and 'the Alpha' in my head, it just feels wrong and it would be easier to tell you what you need to do if I can use your names."

"I'm Derek, and he's Stiles."

"Stiles?" She couldn't stop herself from asking and then before he could say anything she continued, "Never mind, I am the last person to question anyone's name since I, a born witch, was saddled with 'Lilith'. Anyway, Derek, what I think happened back in the bar is that my magic sensed Stiles' untrained spark and decided to wake it up. Now, that wouldn't have caused too much of a problem but there was a complication. Or well, several complications actually. One of those complications – the really major one - was that Stiles seems to be not totally a 'he'." She glanced over to see Derek's face and how he was taking that little tidbit. He had raised an eyebrow at her and was giving her a questioning look, but otherwise seemed calm enough. She continued, "I'm pretty sure that even he didn't know, but I think he was an undiagnosed intersex and combined with the fact that his mate, you, were in near proximity and that my magic is primarily female and fertility based that my magic, your mate bonds, and his spark decided to make him a perfect 'wolf's mate."

"And what is a perfect wolf's mate? Other than alive." Derek asked dryly.

She could still clearly hear the worry in his voice, along with the strain of pulling his mate's pain for as long as he had been and so she thought that she'd reassure him, "Don't worry, he's going to be just fine if you do exactly as I say once we get to the Grove. You will be fine as well, the Grove is a place of power and will help your wolf energy recharge as well as help his body complete the transformation it's struggling with now; and a perfect wolf's mate is, in a word, fertile. Thankfully for his sake, it seems that he is going to be fertile in the same way a wolf is rather than a human."

"Why would that be something to be thankful about?"

"No menstruation for one, only being fertile once a year for the period of two weeks for another – it's a much better system than what humans have to deal with." They came to the cut-off she needed and she took the turn cautiously as the road was rough. As they bumped along the rarely used road she "Okay, back to the instructions part of this talk; when we get to the Grove I need for you to get the majority of both your clothes off and lie down on the moss in the Grove's center with as much skin touching the moss as possible. I also need as well as much skin to skin contact between the two of you."

"I can do that, and then what happens?"

She shrugged, "I channel the power of the grove through both of you."

Derek nodded and then asked, "And the cost? You are talking a major working, and that is never free."

"No, it's not." Lilith agreed. "Unfortunately, I can't tell you the cost because I don't know what the Grove is going to ask for in return, and also, Stiles will need to be conscious and aware before that can even be discussed." She had an idea what it might be, but didn't feel confident enough to say it. Besides there was probably going to be some backlash against her for being the catalyst, which she really wasn't looking forward to.

Derek seemed to understand her caution and sighed but indicated that he understood as she pulled off to the side of the sorry excuse for a road near a stand of some ancient redwoods. She threaded off-road between the massive trunks towards a narrow gap that was the entrance of the Grove and as soon as the doors were clear she put her Jeep into park and turned off the engine. Derek was able to open his own door, even holding Stiles as he was, and so they both got out and began to make their way to where they needed to be. Lilith put down her bag carefully outside of the Grove proper while Derek was able to strip both himself and Stiles down to their boxers. She moved into her own position as Derek laid down with Stiles cradled protectively in his embrace on the moss that carpeted the ground. Lilith smirked as she saw the merry happy face boxers that were Stiles' choice for underwear contrast so strongly with Derek's own choice of plain black boxer briefs, the two of them couldn't appear less compatible. Something she knew wasn't true thanks to the sheer strength of the bonds linking the two she had seen back at the bar, bonds that were incredibly strong even before she'd meddled with two of them. Derek lay back after he fussed for a bit on how best to situate them, then he let out a quiet sigh as the Grove's healing energies began to seep into him. Derek was still pulling some pain from Stiles, but the lines running up his arm was no longer black but a gray indicating that Stiles was benefitting from the healing properties too. Good, that was a good sign that this was going to work.

"No matter what you feel, don't move." Lilith said and then shut out all distractions in order to focus. She began to chant in an extremely old language and felt the powers of the Grove surge up and through the two lying in the moss.

She could more feel than see the gray lines receding as Derek stopped draining Stiles' pain as the healing progressed. She could feel how Derek's wolf magic was being supercharged and knew that after this working he would be able to turn full wolf. She could feel how the wolf magic grew and knew that he would heal from just about anything, including the effects of old age. She could feel the frayed pack bonds linked to the wolf magic inside of him turn solid and feel how Derek instinctively sent power and support down each bond linked to him, including the ones that linked him to Stiles. She knew she was doing the right thing after seeing him automatically bolster his pack with the magic, it let her know that he was the good kind of Alpha and not one of the ones only in it for the power.

She shifted her attention to Stiles and could sense how the magic being channelled through Stiles was splitting, half being absorbed by his spark while the other half was doing the heavy work to finish changing him internally. She could sense how the power and support he received from Derek was also split, half being sent back to support Derek and the bonds linking them and the other half being also absorbed by the core of his spark. She could sense how that core of spark grew with the massive influx from the two streams feeding into it making Stiles much more powerful than he would have been otherwise, and how much longer he too would live.

She could also see the beginning of the cost to the two of them that Derek had asked about and it was just as she had suspected, the bonds between Derek and Stiles were solidifying into a true mate bond without the mating bite or consummation when both would normally be needed for a bond of their depth and power. Then she saw that it was a bit more than that, the Grove was tying the two together so strongly along all the bonds that they were essentially going to be one person in two bodies. Not to the extent that if one was cut the other would bleed, but that if one died the other would follow him into death. They weren't getting a choice about it either, it was done. That was her fault, she had stolen that from them. She had been getting jaded about humanity and had jumped to a conclusion without even trying to get all the facts, then she had broken the Rede, 'An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will' by casting that spell she had cobbled up to punish men hitting on her on an innocent. At least she could console herself with the faint comfort that they were going to be able to choose their own timing for their ceremony and consummation still.

The two in the Grove were almost done being healed, it would only be a few moments longer when she heard the Grove demand it's cost of her. The Grove would need replenishment after so much power was channeled through it, and it demanded it in blood. Her blood, her potential children, the very seat of her magic it wanted. It demanded for three days during her moon-time every month for nine years that she must spend skyclad and magicless in the heart of the Grove. She agreed, she could do nothing else after making a threefold mistake on top of a threefold penalty of the Rede.

The magic began to recede as it was no longer needed and she let the chant die off. Stiles and Derek were stirring and she sagged against the nearest tree while wishing that she had thought to bring a bottle of water with her so that she could rehydrate her poor mouth after chanting for so long.

"What the hell?" Outside of a loud bar Stiles had quite the strident voice Lilith discovered. He was also more than a bit sarcastic and dramatic she thought as he began to rant, "Where the hell am I? What the hell happened?" He paused for a breath and seemed to notice his state of undress for the first time, "And why the hell am I almost naked?" Then he took in Derek beside him and his similar state of undress, drooled a bit at the sight but then pulled himself together enough to also ask, "Why is Derek holding me while he's nearly naked too? Just, holy crap, what? Someone tell me something before I freak out even more!"

Derek chuckled and Lilith supposed that this kind of reaction was fairly standard for Stiles from the way Derek relaxed at the commotion happening beside him. Lilith also supposed that it would be best that she started giving him the explanation that he wanted before he combusted. She cleared her throat and did her best to work up some saliva so she wasn't talking her voice into total ruin. This brought her to Stiles' attention; he narrowed his eyes and seemed to take in everything about her, then he said bluntly, "Okay, yeah, you're not Erica, but holy hell do you ever look like her. It was an honest mistake so why and what did you do to me that we ended up here? And why do I feel so funky? Seriously, I feel like my skin was taken off and reapplied and now it fits differently - not in a bad way, but very definitely different than before. Hello, you gonna answer me?"

"I would if you would give me a word in edgewise." Lilith said acerbically. Stiles looked abashed for a bare second, maybe, but then made a pointed motion of zipping his mouth shut and fixed her with an expectant look. Fine. "The short version is this; I am a magic user, you were an unrealized spark, my magic decided to fix that and wake up your spark when you came into proximity to me but there were some complications. We brought you here and used the magic of the Grove to resolve the issue."

"Complications? Issue?" Stiles looked a bit scared but Derek pulled him in close to his side and Stiles calmed. "So how about giving me the long story now that I have the cliff notes?"

Lilith went on to tell Stiles the same explanation she'd given Derek earlier; that her magic was fertility based, he'd been an undiagnosed intersex, that Derek was his best potential mate and in close proximity when her magic decided to wake his 'spark', and finally what all those had combined to do - make him the perfect wolf mate, fertile and able to carry and birth the babies. That and how Stiles was now much more powerful magically too. Stiles was both impressed and horrified. Derek held him in place as he abortively flailed while trying to process everything that she had dumped on him. Then she started in on what the cost of the Grove helping had done to both of them, explaining how they had been changed and bonded together, how they were bound so tightly now that if one died so did the other, but on the good side it was looking like they were going to live a very long time if nothing took that out of their hands.

"How long?" Stiles was the one to ask, although she could tell that if he hadn't that Derek would have asked.

"I honestly don't know, but think 'Wolverine' from the Marvel comic universe," Lilith answered. "That is the closest I can come to in how to describe what the magic did to the two of you healthwise."

"So, am I some kind of magical 'wolf now without having to deal with getting the 'bite' or do I just have some kind of magical healing factor?" Stiles didn't sound impressed at either situation. Lilith couldn't fault him, she wouldn't have been overly impressed if she had run into some stranger somewhere who just happened to be magical and gotten transformed and married because of it either. Then his head tilted to the side as something else occurred to him, "and about that mated thing, are we gonna be forced to consummate sooner rather than later? I mean there was many a reason that neither of us hadn't acted on what turns out to be a mutual attraction, history and other things. Being mystically werewolf married didn't get rid of a lot of those reasons, y'know."

Lilith shuddered at the word 'forced' and didn't pay much attention to the rest of the kid's word vomit. She really didn't want to think about how her thoughtless actions had made their choosing each other a foregone thing rather than an actual choice. "No, nothing like that. You've just skipped a few steps in the mating process. The proto-bonds the two of you shared, even with neither of you acting on, them were incredibly strong and from what I could see would have pulled you together even if you had never ran into me. It was only the being fertile part that you wouldn't have had in the long run." Then she winced and added, "Although if you aren't wanting to be parents sooner than later you are going to want to make sure that you don't spend next February together. Matters might be taken out of your hands if you don't take precautions due to the changes Stiles' body underwent."

"What do you mean, 'Matters might be taken out of our hands'?" Derek asked with a glare that should have looked ridiculous with him lying almost naked on the thick moss entangled with a skinny teenager wearing happy face boxers, but it still made an atavistic thrill of fear run down her spine. "I understand that Stiles is fertile now but why would that guarantee us being parents after next February if we don't keep apart?"

"What 'proto-bonds' are you talking about? And you never did explain why your magic made my spark decide that it needed to make me able to have kids, why would it have done that? Or why I am so much more powerful now, what is that gonna mean and am I going to need a teacher to make sure I don't oops and blow something up from just thinking about it?" Stiles asked on the heels of Derek's question.

Lilith stopped and stared at Stiles for a bit after the second barrage of questions from him before she said exasperated, "Wow, you're really all over the place mentally aren't you?" She directed her next question at Derek, "Is he always like that?"

Derek smirked slightly and said, "Yeah."

Stiles at the same time was protesting, "Hey!" Then he subsided and grumbled, "They are all valid questions, why does it matter how they come out?"

Derek just snorted amused at that and Lilith made a quick decision. "Look, it's easier for me to show you rather than trying to explain it. Give me a second to grab some stuff out of my bag and I will cast the show and tell spell so that you can see for yourselves." Matching actions to words she moved out of the Grove proper and grabbed the ingredients she was going to need for the spell she intended to cast.

"Seriously? That's what it's called?" Stiles said incredulously.

Irritated Lilith answered him, "Well, that's what it is. Do you expect every spell out there to have a fancy and hard to pronounce name?"

Derek elbowed Stiles and muttered, "Stiles, try not to piss off the powerful witch right before she casts a spell on us, hmm?"

Stiles opened his mouth, likely to protest that he wasn't trying to piss off anyone, but then he really looked at the expression on her face and said quietly, "Oh right, sorry."

Now it was Lilith's turn to smirk and she let them stew for a few breaths before she let them off the hook, "It's alright, but Stiles you are soon going to realize how much power words can have." Stiles went quiet and seemed to be thinking hard. She took the opportunity of his introspection to cast the spell.

She showed them everything from her point of view, including all that she saw with her mystical senses, from the time Stiles collapsed in the bar to when the Grove had finished with them. Then with a quick flash the now used up herbs turned to ash and the spell ended. She sagged with tiredness and leaned against the nearest massive tree that encircled the Grove.

"Yeah," Stiles said quietly as he was still processing all that he'd seen, "I can see how that would have been hard to explain in words."

Derek meanwhile seemed to have latched onto one part of the vision. "The pack bonds, there were eight. I sent power and strength down eight bonds, I can feel them now. I know where Erica and Boyd are, and there is someone else with them, someone who feels like family." He turned to Stiles, "You were in them too, as my Mate and packmate - you should be able to feel them as well, can you?"

"Feel them? No but maybe I can do it another way." Stiles stilled and switched over into his own version of mystical senses - an act that had Lilith mentally cheering as she saw him do it knowing that he'd unconsciously picked up how to do it from watching her do it in the vision she'd shared with them, he would be easy to teach when she offered - to look himself and Derek over for the pack bonds. He began to smile, "Yes, I can see them this way. I count eight bonds attached to you, and I can see and follow the one that goes between us to either end." Stiles shook his head and began to blink rapidly to finish clearing his vision as he let the spelled sight go. His smile morphed into a full out grin as he crowed, "I can help, after we get the whole pack together I will be able to see and follow the ones attached to Erica and Boyd as they will be the only ones missing!"

Stiles then squeaked as Derek gathered him into a crushing hug in celebration. "Ack! Puny human needs to breathe!" Derek let him go not saying anything and immediately got up from the ground and began to hunt for their clothes that had been strewn about as Derek hadn't worried about neat when he'd been undressing them. He tossed Stiles articles of his clothing as he put on his own. Lilith watched all this in amusement but knew that she was soon going to be playing chauffeur to the two back to the bar so she also got herself ready to go.

It wasn't long before both men were dressed and they were in her Jeep heading back to the bar. Well they were in after Stiles' gushing about her beauty when he saw it and waxing near poetic about his own baby that is. It was during the drive back that she broached the other subject of Stiles' tutoring, after asking if there was anyone back home that could do it.

"Hell no, I wouldn't trust Deaton to teach me to suck eggs, the overly cryptic bastard." Had been the response she'd gotten from Stiles while Derek had obviously agreed with a sour growl.

"Fair enough," she had responded while making a note to check out this 'Deaton' character. It was telling that the two of them didn't like the man and she had a feeling that he wasn't being true to the magic he was supposed to serve. "In that case I would offer myself up as a tutor as it was coming into contact with my magic that you are now in need of guidance. I wouldn't be a full teacher to you, as you saw I can't due to what the Grove demanded from me, but I can give you my Skype contacts, a few good links to some more private areas of the web, and if it's still buried in the back, a book on magic to get you started."

Derek got a little wild around the eyes as Stiles agreed enthusiastically to all that she had offered. He coughed and said with one of those impressive eyebrows raised, "You're going to give Stiles a grimoire? I can't tell you how bad an idea that would be."

"Really, Derek?" Stiles leaned forward in the space between the front seats to make sure that Derek got the full benefit of his stink eye. "Thanks so much for the vote of confidence."

"What?" Derek said. "She doesn't know you like I do, she deserved the warning."

Lilith laughed at their banter and put decided to put Derek's mind at ease, "It's not a grimoire, there are no spells in it. It's more of a compendium or encyclopedia for those of us that are gifted, essentially a reference book."

Stiles still looked excited at the description but Derek relaxed as he said, "That's good to know, at least the book won't get Stiles in any more trouble than he normally finds." Stiles made a rude sound at Derek's words but he didn't respond to them. He did use the rest of the drive back to the bar to pepper her with questions of how he should get started and if there was anything he shouldn't do, for safety reasons. It certainly made the drive go by quicker and in no time they were back to the bar and the now deserted, but for a sleek black Camaro, parking lot while the blush of first light glowed in the sky.

"Well, here we are," She said as she put her jeep into park and waited for them to get out. She got out as they did and went to the back gate of her jeep and opened it to fish around for the book and some paper to write down the web pages, their passwords, and her contact information like she'd promised. Handing it all to Stiles she said, "I want to say again that I am so sorry again that my magic caused so much trouble for you and I wish you well in your future endeavors."

Derek nodded and quietly murmured a 'thank you' while he steered an already reading Stiles towards the Camaro. Lilith watched them get into the car and go, her hand raised in a half-hearted wave goodbye as they drove from the lot headed to -wherever they called home.

Well, that was that. She hoped that they managed to save their missing packmates, they'd undergone one hell of an ordeal while trying to find them, so they certainly should if there was any kind of justice in the world. It had also been one hell of a wake up call for her, showing her how far she'd been edging away from following the 'rede. She would definitely be taking her time while communing and feeding the Grove to really look deeply at herself and find where she might have been falling off the path.

It had certainly been one hell of an exciting night, and one she wasn't going to forget for a very long time.

-end-