I never did have the best timing.

Whenever I walked by Chiaki, it'd always be when they're on a date. I silently watched as Chiaki and Hatori strolled cheerfully down the pathway in the city. My hands clawed at my chest. I glared at Hatori's retreating back. 'That should be me… with Chiaki…not him…'

I loved Chiaki, with all of what's left of my shattered heart. All three of us knew that. But Chiaki loved Hatori, and Hatori loved Chiaki. I clenched my fist and stared at the round, trying not to cry. 'That's just it, isn't it? Nothing's gonna change even if I try so… Why should I even bother?' I thought, and walked off.

As the door of my house slammed shut, my calm façade shattered, and I broke down yet again. The tears I keep holding back rolled down my cheeks. Why…didn't Chiaki love me back?! Weren't we best friends? Why…of all people…did I have to lose to Hatori? That bastard…

My head wouldn't stop pounding. Maybe…Chiaki will be happier without me? I mean, I know we're best friends and all, and I know I should just be happy with that, but I really can't stop the pain in my chest.

I know I've tried, and I know I probably didn't try hard enough, but I don't think I can hold back my desire for him much longer. It's happened before, me giving in to temptation, trying to force myself on him, trying to sate my lust. I really don't think I'll ever stop loving him, I really don't. I try to hide it, act like we're just friends. But it's hard. And sometimes, he's just so damn oblivious, really.

I guess I really did deserve that punch on the cheek… To think he still calls me his best friend. He deserves someone better than me, much better. But even after all I've done to him, he doesn't just leave me. That makes it hurt so much more, knowing that I can't be what he deserves. I'm not good enough. Hell, I'm probably worse than Hatori, now that I think about it. At least he didn't do anything that Chiaki didn't want him to. God, I am pathetic.

Tears blurred by vision and I stumbled clumsily towards my room. 'Why didn't you see this before? The one standing in the way of Chiaki's happiness, is you,' a voice taunted me in my head. "Shut up," I muttered, even if I knew it'd be futile.

'Oh, it's no use. Chiaki probably hates you for what you've done. He may just be feigning ignorance so he won't hurt your damn feelings even though you never cared about his!'

"SHUT UP!" I shouted, clutching my head.

'As if that'd do anything. Why don't you just let them be happy and disappear?' the voice sneered.

'FOREVER!'

I don't know how things ended up the way it did. I held my favourite penknife at my wrist. It'd sharpened blade glistened in the light of my room. The light that I would never deserved to see. The light shone on my forearms, revealing the marks lining it. The makeup I'd used to hide it has long since been smudged away by tears. Cutting wasn't the best solution, I know, especially by someone of my age, and especially for something as stupid as love. But the thing was, the penknife which made those marks, was a gift from Chiaki when I first joined his team.

I thought, if anything, let it be by Chiaki.

The blade cut through the skin of my wrists, severing the arteries there and sending a searing pain up my arm. I gritted my teeth, forcing myself to continue.

The skin of my other wrist was severed. The penknife clattered to the ground, covered in a deep, crimson liquid. The pain was killing me, if you believe I'm still alive. I'd already become an empty shell, and I shouldn't feel pain. I slumped to the ground, just wanting death to come faster. The room was filled with a dead silence, save for my heavy breathing. Blood had already started pooling at my feet.

I slowly let my eyelids fall, hoping that I could finally let Chiaki live happily.

Then, the sound of knocking interrupted the silence.

"Y-Yuu? Are… Are you in?" a soft voice spoke from outside the door.

Chiaki? What the hell was he doing here? I willed myself to keep quiet, to not let him know I was there. I don't want to see the look on his face when he sees me half dead. Or worse, if Hatori is with him, I would have to see that smug look when he knows he's won our battle for Chiaki, when he knows I've given up.

I heard the doorknob turn. 'Shit, I didn't lock the door did I?'

Things really weren't going my way.

My vision had already started graying, and my word was spinning around me. I've lost track of how long it's been, I just hope Chiaki doesn't-

"Y-Yuu?!"

Shit.

"What happened? Why would you do this to yourself? Yuu? Answer me! Don't you dare die on me! Yuu!" his voice was so panicked, so laced with worry I almost couldn't believe he was concerned about me.

Then I felt treacherous all over again because I knew I wasn't worthy of it.

So I stare lovingly at him, wishing he could feel just how much I loved him. I forced a smile, whispering, "Be happy for me, okay?"

He didn't even attempt to hide the pain in his voice, "You idiot! Why would you even do this? How the hell do you expect me to be happy if you're not here?"

I was taken aback by the look of hurt on his face, even more so when tears started streaming down. But the darkening of my vision made it harder to see his beautiful face, the one I wished to be able to kiss without feeling like a wretched bastard. I knew that soon, my life would end, but at least it ended with him by my side.

"Yuu…" his voice quivered so much it scared me, "The… The reason I came here… I broke up with Hatori…"

What?

"I… Y-Yoshino Chiaki, am c-completely and u-utterly in l-love… and will a-always be, w-with you, Y-Yansase Yuu."

My heart pounded faster than ever, as I wondered if I heard correctly. Chiaki… loved me?

But as the darkness ate at my vision, as I slowly lost control of my body, I knew it was too late. That was when I felt Chiaki's soft lips against mine, when I felt his warm hands gently caress my tear-streaked face. A new waves of tears left my eyes, filled with an emotion I could not name.

"C-Chiaki… I love-"

And that was when I was swallowed by the darkness of my mind.

As the feeling of Chiaki's tears left my face, I was left with the sense of unfulfillment as I knew I'd never be able to finish my sentence.