Hydrophobia
Summary: In which Unit 1 tries to help Akane get over her irrational fear of water. Which may just involve floaties, an unhappy Ginoza, and a drunk Kagari. Well, at least they tried…
A/N: On top of all my other stories my brain keeps chucking out oneshot ideas. I apologize if I took anyone's idea (I can't be the first person to think of this, can I?), I just really needed to get this idea out of my head. Anyway, I got this headcanon partly because of the Professor Saiga episode where we learn Akane can't swim and the other from the first opening of psycho-pass (if symbolism counts). Also, I know hydrophobia is usually in reference to one of the symptoms of rabies but I didn't really want to call this story aquaphobia 'cause it sounds weird.
Remember, reviews are loved! Thanks!
Disclaimer: If I owned Psycho-Pass there would already be a second (and a third) season.
Akane crossed her arms over the floatation device irritably. Stupid Sibyl system. Stupid MWPSB protocol. Stupid Chief Kasei and her assessment of the last case. So, she couldn't jump into the water to chase after the criminal; what was the big deal? Kagari and Kougami seemed just fine swimming after the guy. The whole situation was undoubtedly ridicu—
"Akane-chan, is something wrong? You've been glaring at the pool noodle for five minutes; I was sure it was going to explode." Kagari questioned, turning around to whistle as the rest of the female members of Unit 1 emerged from the changing rooms.
The girl immediately jolted from her seat, nearly tripping in her flippers. "Ah, I'm just not that big a fan of water, that's all." She gave a shaky grin, eyeing the swimming pool wearily.
It wasn't like she was afraid of water. Nope, she could definitely handle the situation—
Kagari stumbled back into the flustered girl when Yayoi hit him on the head with her sunscreen lotion, accidentally knocking Akane into the water. She let out a bloodcurdling scream of terror, splashing around frantically in the water.
Ok. So she was terrified of water.
"Inspector, give me your hand." Kougami emerged from the changing room after hearing the scream, running towards the Olympic sized pool to fish the shivering girl out. She steadied herself long enough to grab onto his hand, taking in deep breaths after being placed on the ground.
"T-thanks, Kougami-san."
"No problem. You aren't hydrophobic are you?"
The girl froze. She had been ready to lie, to say she only screamed out of surprise and that she could handle learning how to swim. But, unfortunately, her moral compass was not letting her slip up now.
"…I nearly drowned when I was three. I'm fine with showers and rain but deep water, like from a pool or an ocean terrifies me. It's the only thing that really shakes my psycho-pass." Sure enough, a quick check from her waterproof watch confirmed her statement. Akane's psycho-pass had become a light green and her crime-coefficient had increased ten points (probably all directed at a certain orange-haired Enforcer).
"I'm sorry for accidentally pushing you into the pool, Akane-chan!" Shusei cried, hugging the shivering girl.
"It's fine Kagari-kun. But, could you let go of me? I would really appreciate a towel, I'm freezing."
"Of course! I'll be right back!" The man ran into the building, coming back out with a white fluffy towel. Draping it around her shoulders, the woman sighed, turning to her still-dressed colleague.
"Ginoza-san, is this absolutely necessary? I'm sure the times where water will become an obstacle are few and far in between."
"I don't have a say in this. Chief Kasei ordered us to take a day off (unpaid, he added bitterly in his head) to teach you the basics of swimming. She thinks it will be a team-building exercise as well as a skill that may be beneficial in the future."
Akane didn't respond. She merely gazed at the pool, the stirrings of fear twisting in her stomach. She knew how irrational she was being. The odds of her drowning were lower than the odds of the building crumbling down. But, her stomach still did flip-flops whenever she looked at water.
"…Fine. Let's get this over with so I can go home. I was supposed to meet with Yuki today to go shopping."
"Yay! Come on, Akane-chan! Let's start in the shallow end! And Gino-san, why aren't you in your swimwear? Don't tell me you can't swim either?" The orange-haired Enforcer teased.
"I am quite the capable swimmer. I just don't agree with effort without gain. Besides, I'm not going to swim with a bunch of dogs."
A bionic arm clasped him on the shoulder tightly, squeezing it. "Come on Gino, loosen up. Think of it as a free day. No crazy serial killers. No orders. Enjoy life!" With the last statement, the older man pushed the lithe youth into the pool, laughing heartily.
Looking akin to an angry wet cat, Gino glared heavily in Masaoka's direction, arms crossed. His business suit was soaked and his glasses slipped dangerously down his nose as he climbed out of the pool. His bangs hung over his jade eyes and he had to slick his hair back to even see through the obnoxious locks. "You're just lucky we weren't given clearance to bring our Dominators here." He muttered, walking past the man for a towel. He almost pushed the older Enforcer into the pool, but thought better of it. If I do that I'll only be cheering the Enforcers on... I'll just steal his coat later, Ginoza thought, a smirk on his face.
Shusei snickered at the scene before turning his attention back to the struggling brunette. He lead her gently into the water (well, more like threw her over his shoulder and forced her into it), holding her hands so she couldn't claw his eyes out.
"Wow, am I the only one besides Ko-chan who's actually trying to teach Akane how to swim? This is strange; when am I ever the responsible one?" Kagari frowned, water dripping down his face. The petite Inspector managed to grab a fistful of his hair in his distraction, yanking him down into the water before scurrying up the steps only to be blocked by Kougami.
"How about we just pretend I learned how to swim and got over my fear of water? Odds are I'll never have to prove my ability to swim. I'm sure—"
"Inspector, this is very unbecoming of you. Surely you don't want to set a bad example in front of all your Enforcers." There was a glint of mischief in his eyes that Akane didn't quite catch.
She frowned, looking down bashfully. "B-but, Kougami-san, I don't think I can—"
"Yes you can. Come on." With that the raven-haired Enforcer picked her up in a similar fashion as Kagari, depositing her onto the last step of the staircase where the water just passed her stomach. He then swam towards the middle of the pool, arms out.
"Now, try walking towards me; don't worry, I won't let you drown."
Giving a hesitant nod, the hazel-eyed woman took a cautious step forward until the water was up to her collarbone. The fear was back, pressing against her eyelids and stomach. She felt dizzy, as if the water was sloshing around in gigantic waves.
"I-I'm sorry, I can't do this!" She whirled around, slipping up the steps and colliding with a certain orange-haired Enforcer. Instinctively, she clung to the man, almost pulling down his swim trunks in a vain attempt to pull herself out of the pool.
"H-hey, grab onto something else next time!" He yelled in mock anger.
Feeling sympathetic, he sighed, helping the poor girl up and out of the pool (with his hands this time).
"Akane-chan, you can do this! I believe in you!" He patted her shoulder comfortingly.
"I can't do this, Kagari-kun! I don't care what Chief Kasei says; there's no way I'm going to—"
"Uh, Akane-chan, you might want to turn around." Kagari pointed to a figure behind her, eyes wide with fear.
"…Chief Kasei is right behind me, isn't she?"
"…Maybe."
The woman resisted the urge to facepalm. She turned around, fixing a polite smile on her face. "Chief Kasei, it's a pleasure to see you—"
The elderly woman held up a hand. "I'm here to watch your progress. If it is shown you improve in both overcoming your phobia and learning how to swim we may give the team a paid day off."
The green-eyed Inspector immediately perked up at the sound of 'being paid.'
"Yes, Chief. We will do all in our power to teach Tsunemori how to swim."
Adjusting her glasses, she gave a small smile. "That's what I like to hear. Remember, I have high hopes for Unit 1, especially for both you and Akane-san."
With that the violet-haired woman walked to one of the plastic chairs, sitting down and pulling out a certain red book.
"Alright guys! You heard the Chief. Let's do this!" Shusei cheered, diving back into the pool. The poor brunette looked nearly sick, face a green tinge.
"Kougami-san, you may be right."
"Hmm?" He questioned, turning to look at the honey-eyed woman.
"I may not be cut out for this job after all."
In three hours the teams had managed to get the brunette to be somewhat comfortable in the water and were also in the process of teaching her how to swim freestyle. A good start, Chief Kasei mused, flipping the page. She walked out of the pool area and into the building. They proved they were as capable as she thought they were so she felt no reason to stay any longer. Besides, a god of Sibyl had better things to do then watch someone learn how to swim.
The brunette kicked pitifully against the wall, cheeks flushed pink. A pair of pink floaties still hung around her arms and she burned in shame. This was ridiculous! Everyone on the team swam as if they were fish, diving in and out of the water with ease. She felt akin to an injured seal in a sea of sharks.
As if on cue, she felt a strong tug at her leg. It pulled her under before she could let out a scream. This is how I die… with a group of Enforcers in a swimming pool. How pathetic…
Strong arms lifted her from her supposed watery grave, placing her coughing self onto the edge of the pool.
"Are you all right, Inspector?" Concern was etched in his steel blue eyes.
"I-I'm fine. Thanks, Kougami-san. I don't know what happened; it felt as if I was being dragged under the water."
"Ah, that? It was Kagari. He sure likes to cause trouble…"
The orange-haired idiot emerged from the water, popping up in front of the girl. "Boo!"
She jumped slightly, frowning at her Enforcer.
"Sorry, Akane-chan! I was just trying to have some fun!"
A certain raven-haired woman smacked him on the back of the head, swimming away before he could retort.
"Ouch! No fair! Yayoi can do whatever she wants and not get in trouble!"
"That's because she's not a whining brat like you." Shion teased, sitting in her red bikini, a used cigarette in her hands.
"A-at least I'm trying to teach Akane how to swim! You've been sitting here doing nothing for the past three hours while we've been working our as—"
"Hey, guys, look what came for us!" Masaoka cheered, holding out a paper bag and a couple of drinks. Akane immediately recognized a yellow bottle.
"Masaoka-san, did you sneak alcohol here?" She whispered, chastising the old Enforcer.
He laughed, patting her on the shoulder as he put the delivery on the plastic table. "You worry too much, missy! I may have snuck in one bottle but everything else was given courteous the Ministry of Wealth. They put a lot into what we do, so it's only natural they pitch in every now and then."
"If you say so, Masaoka-san…" Akane had long given up her attempts at 'leashing' her hounds. They were going to run around regardless of what she said. Might as well have a little fun, she thought, walking towards the bag of food.
The team descended upon the food like ravenous hawks. While Kagari complained it was all synthetic and therefore, not 'real' food, the rest of the team enjoyed the free meal. When drinks were passed everyone was given a cup of whatever beverage they wished and a glass of wine. Kagari chugged his down immediately, a pink haze flushing his cheeks. He stole the bottle afterwards, much to the chagrin of the other Unit members, downing it in an instant.
"No fair, Kagari-kun!" Masaoka complained, snatching the bottle from the inebriated man.
"Hesh, itsh ok, Masaooooo! I was jus' doing you guys a f-favor." He stumbled over to the pool, trying to walk a straight line against the pool's edge. He clumsily tripped over his own feet, faceplanting into the pavement. He whined, pulling himself up only to fall down again.
"Aaakkaannneee! Help me uuuuppppp!" The Enforcer whined, rubbing his face sourly.
"Alright. Come on, Kagari-kun. I think you need to lie down—"
"No!" He yelled, pushing the girl away and squirming into the pool head first, fully clothed. He broke the surface coughing, limbs flailing pitifully.
"Ish this lava? Oh godsh, I'm burning! Helppppp!" He cried out, sinking deeper into the water.
"Kougami-san, he's not actually drowning, is he?"
The man gave a shrug, watching as Shusei struggled, bubbles rising to the surface of the water. Akane looked around; it seemed everyone minus her and Shinya were wasted (perhaps the 'wine' wasn't really wine after all). None looked too keen on saving the boy and Kougami had walked back to the table for another plate of food.
"Kagari, you owe me so much for this." She declared. Slipping off her shoes and pinching her nose, she jumped into the pool. Kicking her legs like the team taught her, she swam to the drowning Enforcer, putting his arm around her shoulder and dragging him back to the shallow end of the pool. Dropping him against the staircase she turned to see 5 sets of eyes staring at her.
"Yay! You're plan totally worked, Gino-kun!" Kagari, who looked a lot less inebriated, clambered from the steps to pat the shaking brunette on the head. She frowned, turning to face the Enforcer.
"You weren't drowning, were you?"
"Nope. Gino-kun thought it would be a good idea if I was the bait and pretended to drown. He said it would test your abilities as an Inspector and prove that you learned how to swim! I'm drunk, but not drunk enough to drown!"
The girl immediately redirected her anger towards the Inspector who was sitting calmly in one of the plastic chairs.
"I dove into the water for no reason?" She had never been more tempted to strangle someone in her life.
Ginoza sighed, adjusting his glasses. "Well, it worked, didn't it? Are you still afraid of water? I was trying to use a psychological skill known as 'flooding.' It's when you 'flood' the patient with whatever stimuli they are afraid of until he or she gets used to it."
Akane frowned, turning to look at the water. Surprisingly, no butterflies fluttered in her stomach and her vision did not become clouded. She wasn't afraid, but, rather, filled with silent rage.
"W-well, I appreciate the help, Ginoza-san. But, next time, try something less drastic… please."
Shinya noticed the hint of malice in her words but decided against telling the raven-haired Inspector. He'll probably be fine… I hope.
In the end, it seemed that the team did get paid for their day off. And, of course, the little stunt of Kagari 'drowning' may or may not have been sent to all MWPSB's members' computers under the title of 'important message.' Courteous Akane and Shion, the whole Bureau were in an uproar over the video and ever since Unit 1 has had an air of mystery around it; for the female Inspector who acted like a hero, the evil male Inspector who orchestrated the whole event, and the fool who followed his orders.
A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed it! I don't know why but I feel like Akane would be the type to silently plot her revenge, lol XD
-Isis