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Jack's In Trouble

Lieutenant Kozmotis Pitchiner glanced at the corner of his computer, checking the time and cursing the fact that time wasn't going any faster. And yes, his first name was actually Kozmotis, a result of having hippy parents who'd no doubt been high on something when he was conceived, brought into the world, and named. They were still back in merry old England and hadn't changed much, obligatory calls home revolving around them bemoaning the fact that their 'flowerchild' had turned into a symbol of government oppression. One who had formerly made his career arresting drug dealers and their ilk before getting shot five times at thankfully not very close rang. That had been a little over a year ago, and it had resulted in him being reassigned to a squad that dealt with cold cases, which meant that he spent the majority of his time shifting through papers and talking to people rather than interacting with the worst scum this city had to offer with the intent of putting them behind bars. They'd called him the Boogeyman or Nightmare King, other cops and the filth he'd dealt with while undercover both fearing and respecting him. Now he felt like a damn paper pusher half the time.

Sometimes he entertained the thought that the doctors might not have done him a favor by bringing him back from near death, but when thoughts like that entered his dark and cynical mind Pitch fingered the chain he always wore around his neck, the pictures in the locket staying there these days since he wasn't pretending to be anyone else. One photograph was of Seraphina, his baby girl.

Though not so little anymore, or a baby in anyone's eyes but his own, Pitch acknowledged with a grimace. She was a teenager now, thirteen going on thirty according to his ex-wife. Christine did not appreciate the fact that his daughter not only looked just like him, but was a complete and total Daddy's girl, which he loved but the ex and her current husband hated. Tough for them. Seraphina lived with them the majority of the time, and he hardly got to see her these days thanks to the busy life teenagers had. That she was unquestionably his was some small justice in the world.

The only other family he had that he actually liked were of the honorary sort. The Overland family. Whose picture he wore on the locket's other side.

He'd met first met the two younger members of that family seven years ago, when he'd taken a then five year old Seraphina to the park to go skating on the river. They'd barely gotten their skates on, and had been about to make their way onto the ice, when they'd heard a young girl's scream the name Jack at the top of her lungs. He'd been too far away to see the ice that had begun to crack under the girl's skates, but he'd known, instinctively, that that was why she'd screamed and stood so still, frozen in fear.

The sound of someone yelling the name Mary had made him look in that direction for a split second, his cop eyes getting the sense of a group of boys who'd been playing hockey moments before, and that 'Jack' was a dark haired boy likely related to 'Mary'. And then the kid was skating towards the girl at a speed that was shocking even then, the youth seeming to own the ice as he raced towards his sister at break neck speed. He of course had been in complete cop mode then, and had told his daughter to stay put while he skated to help.

Jack had gotten there first of course, and the sight of the boy drawing back the hockey stick he'd been playing with had confused and then shocked the hell out of him as the kid swung and used the power behind his stick to send his sister in a straight, if slightly off balanced line. Away from the ice that had been directly under the winter sun's rays for too long and onto a safer patch.

The ploy had worked, but the contact also sent Jack stumbling-and then through the ice his sister had cracked open with her weight a heartbeat before.

So rather than save the girl he'd ended up having to fish Jack out of the water, the boy having kept his head and his grip on his stick even as he'd gone under. Thanks to the stick he'd been able to grab and use it to carefully tow the boy out and onto the ice, pulling the teenager across the surface until they were both on thicker ice. Naturally Jack still claimed that he could have gotten out on his own, but that was Jack Overland for you, as he'd come to learn over the years. He and Seraphina had stayed with both the Overlands on the way to the hospital to get checked out and until their mother could get there, and in doing so their families had formed a bond that had led to the Overlands being his go to babysitter for Seraphina when something came up at work. He'd also stayed with them after he'd been shot up and needed someone to look after him, since he didn't have any family in the city aside from his daughter and he scared nurses.

Pushing aside those thoughts, especially since many of them revolved around Jack trying to act as his nurse and being a real shit about it, Pitch grimaced and resolutely turned his attention back to the report he was supposed to be finishing up.

Being an adult really sucked. A sodding lot.

)

It was almost the end of his shift, less than fifteen minutes to spare, when a loud, high pitched squeal rent the air and made Pitch wince hard before he turned his head with the intention of scaring the living hell out of the sound's source with his infamous death glare. There were even some that whispered it really could kill someone if he stared them down long enough, and at that precise moment, feeling like he's just heard nails being dragged over a chalk board, Pitch wished that were true as he zeroed in on Little Tooth, who was the little sister of Detective Toothiana Fischer. Naturally the younger sister's actual name wasn't tooth, you'd have to be higher than a fucking kite to come up with that, but she looked just like her sister, who everyone called Tooth for short. The girls' parents were dentists.

If he'd liked them he'd have felt sorry for them.

All set to ignore both twits as younger sister rushed over to big sister's desk, Pitch would have tuned them out with long honed practice if the first words out of the younger one's mouth hadn't been 'Did you hear about Jack Frost?'.

Before Jack had become a professional hockey player the title of Jack Frost had referred to a fictional sprite who went around causing ice, snow, and nipped at peoples' noses. These days though, people were far more likely to be referring to the Jack he'd seen grow from a pain in the arse teenager into an even bigger pain in his arse twenty year old. One with delusions of both grandeur, and the mistaken belief that there was no such thing as having too much fun. They called him Jack Frost because he seemed to own the ice on the rinks when he was on it, but just as often he was in the news because he'd done something he shouldn't have, and Pitch got migraines just thinking about how much trouble he'd had to get the idiot out of over the years.

And judging from the glee and excitement in Little Tooth's voice, as well as the fact that he knew both girls were only interested in Jack because of his looks, Pitch was guessing this wasn't about Jack having scored a number of goals while going head to head with the Pittsburgh Penguins.

"THERE'S A SEX VIDEO OF HIM ONLINE!"

If he weren't pale to begin with Pitch knew all the color would have drained from his face as the girl's words sank in. As the possibility that it might be true, and that such a video could exist and currently be out there for any sodding git out there with a laptop or phone could watch it….

Jack was so dead when he got ahold of the boy if this was true.

"No surprise." Detective E. Aster Bunnymund commented from his desk, snorting when the girls looked in his direction. "Please, that boy's as dumb as he is pretty. A sex tape is right up his alley." The snarky Aussie looked in Pitch's direction with a big smirk. "You won't be able to get him out of this trouble, huh, Mate?"

"I'm not your mate."

"But you are the one always getting that brat out of trouble."

So sad, so true. Pitch was fairly sure that the strands of silver in his black hair were largely from his continued association with Jack as opposed to anything Seraphina had done or would ever do. No, if he wasn't killed on the job Pitch would not be at all surprised if Jack directly caused his untimely death sometime in the future. Possibly the immediate future.

Pitch pushed back his chair loudly, the screech of it interrupting the excited chatter of the sisters as they argued with Bunnymund about Jack's intelligence and status as a brat. All three gave him searching, annoyed looks in response, but Pitch wasn't about to give them anything as he shrugged on his knee length black leather jacket, collected the rest of his things for the night in his work satchel, and then headed out without so much as a backward glance.

All the way to the parking garage Pitch ignored everyone around him, staring resolutely ahead with an expression on his finely honed face that kept everyone he encountered going silent and still, like mice who sensed a cat in their vicinity. That Pitch wasn't even doing it on purpose would have amused him if he hadn't been too angry to notice.

No, all he was thinking about was the video he was going to have to take a look at as soon as he was in his car and away from everyone else. If Jack had set up the taping he was going beat the living shit out of the little shit, because obviously he'd been very wrong in never employing corporal punishment where the boy was concerned. If Jack hadn't known, and someone had set the cameras up without the man's consent…he'd hunt down the bastard or bastards responsible and no one would ever find the body or bodies.

He knew all the best places.

The lift-elevator signaling his floor, Pitch stepped out and into the dimly lit parking garage, his car not far away so that he had his satchel stuffed in the back and had taken his place behind the wheel in no time. Putting his key in the engine to rev his black mustang convertible to life, Pitch decided to cut his already strained and tired eyes a break and forced himself to calmly and coolly drive his car out and head down the ramps until he was out of the parking lot and a decent ways away from his cop shop and people who knew him on sight.

Pulling up to the sidewalk, and parking beside a particular bright streetlight, Pitch turned his car off for the moment and pulled out his cellphone, his fingers jabbing at the buttons like he was stabbing them as he informed the search engine what he was looking for.

It was distressingly simple to find.

Taking a deep breath in an utterly fruitless attempt to calm down a little, Pitch clenched his jaw and then hit the play button, the sights and sounds of the busy city around him not even registering as all his attention and focus narrowed to what was playing out on screen.

Pitch watched until the very end, the whole thing nearly twenty minutes long, and then he returned his phone to his pocket and oh so calmly restarted his car again.

He and Jack were going to have a lot to talk about very soon.

)

Thanks to the fact that his grandparents were filthy rich, and his own parents had rejected their trust funds because it came from the evils of materialistic capitalism, Pitch lived very well in an elegant loft he was very anxious to get home to. A good, stiff drink and a hot bath sounded perfect to him, especially since he'd top it off by getting Jack on the phone to start what was sure to be many conversations regarding this recent turn of events.

Or at least that was Pitch's plan right up until he opened his front door to be greeted by a long string of curses in a voice he recognized straight away.

Jack

Setting his satchel down inside the door Pitch removed his jacket up with economical motions while listening with half an ear to Jack's demands that his manager arrange for him to appear on some major talk show so that he could be heard about this stupid sex tape thing.

"I don't care if you think I can't be trusted to give a proper statement!" Jack yelled at the phone he had in his hand, the phone on speaker mode. "The point is that my manhood has been seriously impinged here! I mean it's one thing for someone to think it's funny to pretend to be me and do a sex video, that would have been a little flattering in a weird sort of way, BUT THIS?! That video makes it look like I'm some newbie virgin who's never watched porn before! The guy playing me was not only not NEARLY as impressive naked as I am, but did you notice his staying power? Pathetic! I am not having people think I'm some skinny, inexperienced failure with a fucking hair trigger!"

"Now, Jack…"

"Don't you now me, North! This is serious! When I get ahold of these jokers I'm going Pitch on their asses!"

"That should be interesting."

Whirling around Jack said Pitch's name with glee, informing North then that he'd call him back later as he ended the call, giving the older man no chance to argue or try to unsuccessfully talk any sense into Jack's head. No, Jack just tossed the phone aside and then hurried over to throw his arms around Pitch's waist, looking up with full puppy dog eyes in effect.

"You have to help me hunt down and kill these people who are being really, really mean to me!"

"I thought you were supposed to be in Pittsburgh tonight?"

"Postponed due to bad weather. My revenge against that damn Canadian will have to wait."

Jack had issues with the skills of Sydney Crosby. The Penguins had whooped Jack's team's ass their last game.

"But nevermind him, you've heard right? About the stupid video?! You have to use all your badass detecting skills to find the sons of bitches responsible for it! You know people, right? I'll pay for it and everything. Why aren't you more mad about this video thing?" Belatedly realizing that Pitch didn't seem as pissed off about this as he was Jack pouted up at him. "Don't you care that my honor's been slandered?"

Lips curving slightly in amusement Pitch lifted Jack up so that the other man was on tip toes so that he could lean in to kiss him good and hard before answering him. "I was beyond angry when I thought there was a sex video of the two of us out there. Now I'm just amused."

Eyes wide, and looking more than a little dazed, Jack stated that he knew Pitch would fucking kill him if he were ever stupid enough to make a video of them, even just for their own viewing pleasure.

"Exactly." Pitch pressed a kiss on Jack's forehead. "And any real sex video of yours would include me, correct."

"Please, I don't even want to think of what you'd do to me BEFORE you killed me if I was that stupid." Jack beamed as he said it, all goodwill temporarily restored now. "Not to mention the fact that I didn't hound you about dating me for three years to lose you now, Big Guy. I mean seriously, you almost died before you'd give me a chance."

"And you took horrible advantage of the fact that I was hopped up on painkillers."

"I so did."

Rolling his eyes, something he did more and more often these days now that Jack was such a huge part of his life, Pitch sighed and then stated that Jack should call North back and figure out a reasonable statement to put out about the fake sex tape. He was going to go upstairs and take a bath. It had been a long day.

"But I don't want to talk to North. I want to take a bath with you." An evil twinkle entered Jack's eyes. "And then we should make a real sex tape so that everyone can see for themselves how awesome in bed I am. And that I prefer a sexy older man in my bed rather than that silicone based bimbo they had fake me romping around with."

"Jack."

"Just kidding."

His death glare didn't faze Jack in the slightest. "I swear I must have suffered brain damage the doctors missed when I was shot."

On that note Pitch headed for the stairs, smiling a little to himself at the sound of Jack's footsteps following him up to the second level. Which also happened to house their bedroom, Pitch mused when he was standing in it, Jack having squeezed by him so that the little imp was now sprawled out on the bed without a shirt on, crooking a finger in his direction provocatively.

"What am I doing to do with you, honestly?"

"Well if you want some suggestions…"

Rolling his eyes, again, Pitch sighed and then headed for the bed, peeling his shirt off as he stated that Jack was nothing but trouble.

Rather than argue Jack agreed and then suggested they get into trouble together. That was the best kind of trouble there was after all.

Pitch had to agree with that.

The End