It's been such a long time since the battle, since all my friends risked their lives in a war that was completely over me. Clumsy, goofy, normal me. The weeks have felt like years, yet the events are still so clear in my mind. And then I think of Jacob all broken up on his way-to-small-bed. I remember the look in his eye when I told him I really did love him. I also remember the look in his eye when I told him it didn't make a difference. I usually don't have time to think of all these things. Edward is always by my side. Thankfully. And Alice is constantly badgering me with wedding details, Ugh! Lord knows I love Edward to death, it's marriage I'm not so fond of (courtesy of my mother)...How am I going to tell her?
For a while Edward didn't say anything about my intense silence. I was driving after all, maybe he figured I was trying to concentrate and not crash to my death, as with my luck would probably happen.
"Are you okay Bella? You seem really quiet."
"Oh am I, sorry..."
"Nothing to apologize for," he interrupted, " I'm sorry continue."
"Just running through wedding details." He gave me a look that told me that he didn't buy my story.
"Bella!" he was almost whining as he prodded me for more information. "Isn't it bad enough that I don't know what your thinking when your lying? Please tell me what's really on your mind, don't torture me."
I let out a big huff of air, and turned the car off the road. "...I've got a lot of things on my mind." I wanted to leave it at that but I knew he would want more even before his gorgeous golden eyes started to beg. "I was thinking about the wedding...as well as the battle that just passed, and my mom. All of these things are happening one after the other, it's pretty hard to keep up with." I guess it felt good to get some of this off of my chest except for the fact that I knew what he would say next. I saw the guilt in his eyes, but before I could stop him he was already rushing the words out of his mouth with all the grace he possessed.
"Bella if this is all too much for you right now you don't have to do anything. I already told you it's okay really. If you don't want to do the wedding right now then..."
I interrupted him with a kiss. I caught him in mid-rant and was glad to see the shock in his eyes.
"None of that. We are in the middle or the end actually of planning this wedding. I already told our friends and Charlie. It's happening right now." I pulled him closer, "Nothing is going to get in the way of what we both want."
I kissed him again. His cold lips lingered a little longer this time and sent a chill down my spine as my heart raced. He smiled his gorgeous crooked smile.
"OK. If your sure." He sighed, "Let's get going then." It all seemed to happen in a second; as soon as I got out of the car he slung me around to his back and was dashing through the woods. With everything that was going on lately I needed a nice sunny day that we could spend in the meadow. As soon as we arrived I climbed off his back and sat directly in the middle of the clearing.
I sighed. "It's so soon." I didn't realize it but my mouth tilted up in the faintest smile. Edward did. He was by my side immediately. He ran his fingers around my lips, to my cheek, up my hairline and back.
"You're smiling." It sounded like a statement, but there was a hint of a question in his tone. I realized my smile now as well.
"Hmm I guess your right I am." I closed my eyes as his hand still swept across my face. I let the full sense of the moment set in. His cold hand on my skin, the sweet fragrance of his being, the very essence of him that made his touch to irresistible to shy away from. I smiled fully this time. "I really am."
"And you're happy?" I opened my eyes in shock at his question. His eyes looked so sincerely intent on what I was about to say.
"Are you crazy!" His eyes were shocked, then they changed they almost looked sad. I took his face in my hands. "There aren't words to describe how uncontrollably happy I am with you. After all this time, after everything we've been through...you still have to ask. Hmph!" I turned my face away from him and there was a moment of silence. I almost thought he left. I quickly turned my head back, but he was still there. Smiling, beaming actually. Like all the little diamonds that glistened off his skin grew ten times brighter because of his smile. He swept me into his arms and held me so close to his body it felt like he was trying to fuse us together. He breathed in deeply and let out a sigh of relief.
"So after all this drama...I mean with all the pressure you're still genuinely happy?"
"I could be," have been I noted silently," looking death in the face, and as long as you were with me I'll always be genuinely happy. You are ridiculous to think otherwise." I whispered in his ear, "I love you, you know that. Don't ever second guess it." He pushed me back a little and kissed the skin directly under my ear.
"I love you, so much I'm surprised the cosmos haven't screamed it out." he whispered back into my ear. I heard him breathing in deeply as he was still by my ear. " There was a reason for the question Bella." I could hear the the hesitation.
"What is it?" I was scared there wasn't much he hesitated to tell me unless I was in danger. He sighed.
"It's your mom."