Title: Big Mosquitoes
Author: heeroluva
Fandom: Firefly/Serenity
Pairing: Mal/Jayne
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: biting
Words: 986
Spoilers: none really
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just like to play with them.
Summary: Mal and Jayne alone together on an empty moon... naked.
Notes: This is written for bruttimabuoni's request of inventive cursing, a new planet or moon, reluctance over at maleslashminis. First time I've written this pairing (as much as I love them) and hope that they turned out okay and I got the lingo down. Not beta'ed so all mistakes are mine. And as always I love feedback. :)

"Hur bao dan ta shi suo you di yu de diao zi de ma! Ben tian sheng de yi dui rou liu kou shui de biao zi he hou zi de ben er zi! Qiang bao hou-zi de qing wa kao de liu mang zhu fuen chse!"

While Jayne couldn't help but grin at the creativity that his captain had, Mal had been going on for ages now and he was getting a headache. "Ai ya, huai le! Ta ma de! Bi zui!"

But in usual Mal style he ignored him and kept on with his rant which while amazing in its length and his apparently lack of need to breathe during it (which brought a wicked grin to his face as he thought about where that skill could be put to use) was getting down right old.

Grabbing Mal's shoulder, Jayne spun his around and was unprepared for the fist that smashed into his jaw and sent him stumbling back to land on his ass as both stars and black spots danced across his vision. It took him a few minutes to clear his head and realize that Mal had redirected his frustrations towards him and was now the recipient of his yelling tirade.

"— wasn't for you and your shit brained plans we wouldn't be on this god forsaken moon in the middle of xi niu nowhere. The fact that this was one of your contacts, your so called 'friends' should have set off my bull shit meter so fast that my head spun. But the money was just too good to pass up. Here Serenity is falling apart around us and we just spent our last credits on the new parts Kaylee needed and it seemed like the perfect job, quick and easy, with a huge pay off. And who am I to pass up a deal so great. But—"

"Mal."

"—bushwacked us—"

"Mal!"

"—took off with the goods and the credits and our clothes— "

"MAL!"

"WHAT?"

Mal was unprepared as Jayne's lips slanted across his and demanded entrance. For a guy that didn't kiss on the lips he was sure exceptionally good at it. And who was he to complain when he was on the receiving end of such a wondrous thing, and he groaned as all thought left him as Jayne's hands trailed down his sides and back to cup his ass and pulled them flush together causing there awakening erections to bump and slide slickly against each other.

Mal returned the favor and reached down to grab Jayne's ass, kneeing the firm flesh he found there and this time it was Jayne's turn to moan in pleasure as his head wantonly feel back in bliss. Mal used that opportunity to trace a hot trail of love bits down Jayne's neck, sucking hard to bring blood to the surface and then wetly laving the area to sooth the small sting away. Mal pulled back slightly to take in the beautiful sight that his flushed, panting boy made and thanked his lucky stars that he was his and then he dropped his head back down to Jayne's neck and bit down hard enough to draw blood, claiming him as his for the whole universe to know.

Jayne stiffened and howled as his hips bucked and he came between them, coating their stomachs and chests with his sticky release. Just the sight was enough to set Mal off himself and he followed his lover just a few seconds later adding to the hot, liquid mess between him. He wasn't sure how they stayed on their feet, but somehow they managed as they panted into each other's shoulders. Suddenly Jayne froze and tried to pull away but Mal wasn't having any of that.

Jayne looked at Mal all sheepish like as he pointed behind him. Mal turned and cursed as he saw Serenity parked a hundred yards away with a grinning crew staring at them. River was giggling as a red faced Simon attempted to cover her eyes with limited success. And he knew from the look Zoe was giving him that he wasn't going to live this down or hear the end of this anytime soon. As ways went for telling them about his relationship with Jayne this hadn't even crossed his mind but he was relieved that no one appeared all that shocked or upset, not that anything they could have said or done would have changed his mind because he was the captain, but he hadn't wanted to lose anyone.

Zoe ushered the crew inside and disappeared momentarily herself before reappearing with clothes and towels in hand. She set them on the base of the ramp before once again disappearing inside. They quickly made their way towards the ship and cleaned off before getting dressed. Zoe stared at them from the walkway when they finally entered and Mal knew he had been right.

"Mighty big mosquitoes they have here on this moon," she drawled as she took in the sight of the marks that covered Jayne's neck.

Jayne actually blushed but still opened his mouth to say something crude Mal was sure but managed to cover it with his hand just in time. Jayne turned to glare at him, but Mal just pushed his up the steps. "Don't look at me like that. You aren't forgiven and don't think that I'm not going to take it out of your hide."

Zoe's eyes widen in alarm and she was about to protest before she saw that Jayne actually hurried up and wore a look of excitement with a wicked leer instead of the trepidation she expected.

Mal just winked at her as they walked past and hearing the words "groveling" and "leather" float down the hallway she was glad that she didn't know and made a note to avoid being anywhere near Mal's quarters for a while.

Chinese Translations (since I don't speak or study Chinese I'm sure these aren't perfect)
Hur bao dan – flat chested
ta shi suo you di yu de diao zi de ma – whores in hell
Ben tian sheng de yi dui rou – Stupid inbred sack of meat
liu kou shui de biao zi he hou zi de ben er zi – Stupid son of a drooling whore and monkey
Qiang bao hou-zi de – monkey raping
qing wa kao de liu mang – frog humping son of a bitch
Zhu fuen chse – pool of pig droppings
Ai ya, huai le – shit on my head
Ta ma de – fuck
Bi zui – shut up
xi niu – cow sucking