The sky thundered hard the night when Nolassa was brought into the aravel for birthing. Marethari could sense something on the wind that night that she couldn't quite put a name to. Dread, perhaps? She sent up a silent prayer to Mythal, she had a feeling that she would need it. There had been a dark atmosphere over the whole clan since she had become Keeper. Ill luck had been following her and the clan like a bad stench which couldn't be gotten did of.
Nolassa lay on the floor, legs bent and spread and whispering soft prayers herself. It was the most talk she had heard out of the other woman in what seemed like months. Pain had numbed Nolassa so completely that the other woman was only a mere shell of a bright hunter. As her wounds festered so did she. It would be a miracle if she survived the birthing.
It was hours later when Nolassa finally gave a last wail and the children slipped from her body, bloody and screaming.
They were healthy girls, twins, both with milky skin and golden hair. They seemed identical in every way from the first glance. Nolassa, however, barely looked at the two and had to be gently persuaded to even hold them. It troubled Marethari but in the end she could hardly blame her, perhaps given time she would come to see her children as a connection to their dead father. At least, that was what Marethari hoped, there had been too much darkness already without adding to it.
In the morning, Nolassa was gone as was one of the children. The other slumbered peacefully where Marethari had laid her the night before, blissfully unaware of her surroundings. She wondered if the child knew what had befallen her, Marethari was sure she would be wailing.
Vhenan grew into a lively child from the moment she had first learnt to walk and as soon as she could walk, she would run. The child was always running, always climbing trees or swimming in rivers or some other activity that resulted in skinned knees and reprimands for boldness. Perhaps she would make an excellent hunter one day. Marethari wondered where the young girl got so much energy from, her and Tamlen both because it was rare to see one without the other.
With Nolassa gone and one child with her, it was easier to never speak of what happened the night of Vhenan's birth. The clan needed little persuasion to agree, it was easier to spare the child the pain of knowing that her mother had abandoned her when she was only a few hours old and taken her sister with her. The hunters never could find a trace of where Nolassa had disappeared to, perhaps it had been for the best.
Still, questions of that night had always bothered Marethari: why take one twin and not both? Why leave one behind? Had Nolassa meant to take both but for some reason couldn't? How could someone make the choice of one child over the other? So many questions and no answers to be found. It was likely Nolassa and her second child were long dead or far away from them.
Whatever was the case, at least they had Vhenan. Any child born in the clan was a blessing and Marethari was sure that the girl had greatness in her future, whatever that may hold for her. With Nolassa as her mother and the former Keeper as her father it was almost written in her blood.
Hopefully her life would know less misery in the future. If anyone deserved a happy life, it was Vhenan.
They told her that she was found alone in the forest, that she was found nestled in the roots of a tree and she was wailing so loudly that a hunter had taken notice. No one knew how she had gotten there or where her parents were but there were some guesses: that either her parents were elves fleeing the city but never made it to the clan or that she was simply abandoned to the elements to die.
Either way, Megharan was found and taken in by the Lavellan clan.
She slept with the Keeper in her aravel since she had no parents and no one to claim her as their own. During the day, Megharan was simply left with the other children in the clan as they learnt and played. Some called her "flat ears" and pushed her around but she supposed she could have it worse. She could have not been found at all. A little name calling was nothing to her.
She personally liked to believe that maybe her parents were out there somewhere and that they had simply left her temporarily and had intended to come back for her. Naive, some called her, but she wondered nonetheless. After all, this world was rarely ever kind especially to orphans and even more so to elves. Who had her parents been and why had they left her? How had she ended up in the middle of nowhere in the Free Marches?
Most likely, she would never know.
It was rare that two clans ever met, Vhenan couldn't remember ever meeting another elf from a different clan than her own. She knew other clans were out there but seeing other Dalish elves that she hadn't grown up around was something new and exciting.
Vhenan knew why the clans were meeting and it was a dire one. Their clan had no mages save the Keeper herself and without another younger mage there couldn't be a First and without a First there would be no new Keeper should something happen to Marethari. Vhenan was no fool, she knew how to listen and know things that the adults tried to keep from the younger clan members.
The other clan had kept away, giving them space, they were wary of them and it was hardly an affront. The Dalish knew the wisdom of caution, years of having to deal with the shemlen had taught them a very hard lesson but it was one that was needed.
"Where's the new mage?" Tamlen piped up beside her and she shushed him immediately. They shouldn't have gotten so close, the Keeper had expressly said that she would meet the other Keeper one-on-one. They would be in a great deal of trouble if they were found out but curiosity had won them over.
The new mage in question was a small child even for an elf with messy dark hair and wide green eyes which seemed to dart everywhere in panic and she clung to the other Keeper's leg as if the Dread Wolf, himself would take her if she didn't. She was a timid one, Vhenan could see that easily, but she could also sense some underlying fire in her. She could be a friend to her and Tamlen, of that she was sure.
"Let me see!" Tamlen hissed at her, straining to see what she could with the bushes obscuring the view. Vhenan swore she saw the Keeper glance for a moment in their direction.
"She'll be coming back to camp soon." She said, grabbing Tamlen's arm "If we aren't back before her we'll be in so much trouble!"
That was all the incentive that Tamlen needed to move. They crept quietly backwards, their bellies pressed against the earth and trying to rustle the branches as little as possible. When they reached the tree line again they bolted, pushing and shoving each other playfully as they raced back to camp before the newest clan member could make her official appearance.
Megharan had a talent for magic which she discovered at an early age and sometimes she couldn't decide whether it was a blessing or a curse. Magic, after all, was power and even the shems knew that power was a double-edged knife. It could corrupt and kill just as easily as it could shape.
The Lavellan clan was not a large one and so there were few children over all and it was only she and one other child, Elhavien, who had shown signs of having the gift. When they were young it hadn't been a problem, in fact they often played together in the woods, discovering the many way they could shape the world to their wills.
But nothing lasted forever and when they both turned thirteen, the Keeper took them both aside.
Both of you have potential," she told them "you always have. Both of you are young and have much to learn before you take your places but there is only one thing which remains undecided. Only one of you can be First. Only one can take your place at my side. From now on you must train yourselves, steel your minds and hone what skills you have. In two months' time the clans will gather and I will present my First to them. Only you two can decide who will be standing beside me and who will be siting on the side."
With that the competition began.
For years Megharan had underestimated just how driven Elhavien could be when he wanted something and he wanted to be First badly and she knew that she couldn't lose to him. To lose would mean that either they left the clan or that they would stay and forever be known as Second; the spare, the one not good enough to become Keeper.
While Elhavien poured himself into spellcraft, she studied the lore and histories of the clans, language and the finer points of diplomacy. When Elhavien was with the Keeper she watched the hunters, the craftsmen and the clan as a whole trying to discern what made them tick, how they combined to make the whole. Magic was fine and good, but to be Keeper she would have to learn more than just some choice spells to keep the clan safe. Elhavien had already the advantage of being born into the clan whilst she was just an orphan child who benefitted from the kindness of strangers. She had to be better than him in all areas in order to win.
Two months they had to prove themselves but to Megharan it felt like twenty. Whatever good will her friend had for her from childhood was suddenly replaced with sullen determination and looks that regarded her like the shemlen regarded them, the enemy. It was also no secret that a majority of the clan supported Elhavien and so she was a usurper come to steal away the victory from the child born into the clan. It was almost a mercy when it came time for the clans to gather because Megharan had felt like an outsider amongst those she had considered family.
And so, gathered amongst the Keepers and their Firsts, it was her arm that Keeper Deshanna grasped as she walked her forward into the firelight.
"This one is my First. May the Creators give her wisdom, luck and foresight as she takes her place at my side."
When she glanced back at Elhavien, sitting the shadow she felt pity for him. After that night it was like everything returned to normal but she could still feel the resentment in his heart for a long while after. She was the one the Keeper had chosen and if Megharan had the power she would have given Elhavien a kinder fate than living in the shadow of that choice.
The morning had started out like any other save for the absence of Tamlen in her bedroll. It was unusual not to wake with him grinning at her, throwing her boots at her so they could start their day's hunting together. She knew Merill would be waiting to tut and roll her eyes at them. One day, he promised, he would make an honest woman of her. One day. However, Vhenan couldn't lie that making some of the elder's blush at their behaviour wasn't something she enjoyed. The Keeper always told her that she had a talent for trouble even at an early age.
But that day was not like the normal days that rolled by. This day was different. This day, though she did not know it yet, would change everything.
Caves, mirrors, shemlen, darkspawn and Tamlen...sweet Tamlen.
She never hated a shemlen more than the one who took her away to Ostagar, the one who called himself Dunacn and talked about duty and darkspawn as if he hadn't uprooted her whole life. She never resented Marethari more than when she told her that she had to go with him, that there was no other way to stop the sickness that was spreading through her body faster than magic could stay it. It broke her heart to leave and it broke even more with the knowledge that Tamlen wasn't their fighting for her to stay with them and with him.
He never did get to make an honest woman out of her and Vhenan supposed that hurt most of all.
Although her new life was not the one she chose, she could not leave it. She was lucky, she supposed, to have the companions she did because she was sure that without them she would have sank to the ground and refused to go on. She saw so much of her old life in them that it inspired her to continue but couldn't ease her heavy heart. Every quip from Alistair, every encouragement or reprimand from Wynne, Morrigan's scorn of the Chantry, Leliana's optimism, Sten's stoic determination...she could barely look at Zevran some days.
Tamlen's death at her own hands she supposed was the final straw that saw her walking into the archdemon's waiting jaws, daggers raised. She supposed if she was going to die, at least she would save the world on her way out.
The news of the Blight barely affected the Lavellan clan, if anything the Keeper insisted the clan keep to the northern-most regions of the Free Marshes until it began to spread. It was hardly anything to Megharan, she hadn't been in Ferelden since she was very young and couldn't remember much of it.
Kirkwall, however, that made the clan take notice of the events occurring in the wider world. A war between the mages and templars was not advantageous for anyone and if the templars went rogue then what was to stop them coming for the Dalish mages?
Keeper Deshanna was on alert nearly all of the time, moving them from camp to camp every couple of weeks to throw their trail even further into the wind. When the Keeper was agitated then the clan was too and Megharan knew it was only time before something broke. With the Orelsians warring amongst themselves and the mage-Templar conflict getting ever worse then something would have to give.
It was almost a relief when news of a conclave reached them. It was the first time Megharan saw the Keeper relax in a long while.
"You know as well as I that this conclave will have far reaching consequences and not just for their Chantry." She said one evening as the two of them sat in her aravel "This could change the world forever and the people need to adapt to it. I have heard talk from other clans of sending scouts there, to watch and report on what transpires so we can be ready."
"Ready for what, exactly?" Megharan asked, she could feel the dread coiling in her stomach. She knew the Keeper's words were nothing but the truth, she was not known for keeping important information close to her chest especially if it affected the entire clan.
"War, peace, whatever this so called conclave decides for us. Too long have the elvhen sat on the sidelines of the world waiting for the next blow but no more. I have said this time and time again to the other Keepers but they will not listen. This time is different. They cannot sit by and ignore this. This time we shall act."
"Who will you be sending then? One of the hunters?"
"No." She replied, turning to look Megharan in the eye "I do not doubt the hunter's abilities but I need someone who will not bend the truth to their own whims. I need someone I can trust implicitly. I need you, lethallan."
The next morning the clan bid their farewells to her, giving her what rations they could spare and would keep for her journey. Megharan had never been without the clan and the journey ahead would be a daunting one. A lone elf was never totally safe.
But the Keeper needed her and so she would go. What awaited her in Ferelden she didn't know but she would protect her clan, whatever the cost to herself.