Halloo, peoples! destinykeyblade is back again with yet another demented tale, told in cooperation with akatsukikat1 (who is crazy and my beloved loved forever treasured worship worthy cousin! ...By the way, she typed that.) im chewing on da paperrrrrrrr! ...If you have read my Twilight Princess fic in the Zelda section, you will know who's talking when...BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ...Uh-huh. Just like that. Ahem... So, *hopefully* without any further ado, we invite you to read our crack-fic, Sasuke and the Pink iPod.

You know, some really weird things have happened in my life... But the strangest thing I have ever seen and will EVER see... was that iPod. The PINK iPod.

It was a sunny Saturday. Nothing out of the ordinary was happening in Konoha. ...That is, until Sakura and Naruto found Sasuke. He was sitting on the ground... with ear-buds in his ears... listening to... well, his teammates weren't quite sure, and didn't know if they wanted to be. In the end, curiosity got the better of them, and they approached the black-haired avenger.

"Umm... Sasuke?" Sakura asked, tapping him on the shoulder. "What are you doing?"

Sasuke swiftly placed something in his kunai pouch before turning to face them. "Nothing," he answered quickly. Too quickly.

"Hey, whatcha doin'?" Naruto yelled at the top of his lungs... right in Sasuke's ear.

Sasuke twitched. "Being annoyed by a color-blind idiot," he answered, rubbing his ear.

Naruto looked around. "Where is he? I'll get rid of him for you!"

Sakura smacked her forehead with the palm of her hand. "Naruto, it's you."

"...Oh." Naruto was silent for a moment. A very short one. Then he was shouting again. "What did you hide in your pouch huh huh huh huh huh huh huh h-"

"Shut up, you stupid little troll!" Sakura shrilled, punching him.

"HEY! What'd you do that for?"

"So you'd shut up!"

"Well it didn't work so mleh!" Naruto said, sticking his tongue out.

"..." Sasuke slowly began backing away from his bickering friends. Then he began to run. Unfortunately for Sasuke, running is loud. Naruto and Sakura heard his footfalls, and before he had time to react, Sasuke was tackled by fifty orange-clad demon children.

"WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?" Naruto demanded, his voice coming from everywhere.

"NOOOOOOOO! IT'S MINE! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!"

Sakura raised an eyebrow. What in the world could it be? she wondered. Glancing at the mountain of Narutos on top of Sasuke, she took a deep breath and dove into it, *somehow* successfully grabbing the kunai pouch. As she scrambled out from under her teammate's dopplegangers, Sasuke let out a wail.

"NUUUUUUUU! I NEED IT I REALLY NEED IT I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT! NUUUUUUUU!"

"Naruto, don't let him get loose!" Sakura commanded, seeing Sasuke struggle to free himself and come after her.

"OKIE DOKIE!" was Naruto's reply.

Satisfied that Naruto wouldn't let her down, Sakura dashed away to her secret clubhouse... which really wasn't too secret, as it had a sign over the door that read, "SAKURA'S CLUBHOUSE - DO NOT ENTER UNLESS YOUR NAME IS SAKURA".

So there I was. I had NO idea what I had just gotten myself into, taking that kunai pouch. I shudder to recall the following events...

"Alright, what's in here that Sasuke's so protective of?" Sakura mumbled as she emptied the contents of the pouch on the counter. She saw nothing of intrest. There were about seven kunai, an extremely dark book that Sakura was slightly afraid of, and a small picture of the Uchiha family. (Of course, Itachi's picture had been scribbled out.)

Sakura sighed. "Well, that was pointless. There's nothing in h-" She broke off. Something was sticking out of the pages of the book. Something pinker than her hair.

"Is that..." she asked the air. Gulping, she pulled the thing out of the book. "It is," she said faintly, holding it away from her as though it had a disease. "An iPod."

Just wait. It gets worse. Much, much worse. You know why? Because I turned it on.

Scrolling through the songs, Sakura knew she would never be able to look at Sasuke the same way again. " 'Help, I'm A Fish', 'Sugar Baby', 'Follow Da Leader', 'Dumm Diggy Dumm', ...ITACHI THE SUPERSTAR? WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?"

Sakura hurled the iPod at the wall, hoping to at least damage it. However, the iPod survived without a single scratch.

"Why won't you die?" Sakura asked the music player as she picked it up, a note of despair in her voice.

"I'm invincible. Duh."

Sakura's eyes grew wide. She whirled around, finding herself face to face with Itachi Uchiha. He smirked at her.

"But I don't think you were speaking to me, were you?"

Wordlessly, Sakura shook her head. (Her face looked like this: O.O) "C...Can't you read?" she asked. "You're not supposed to go through the door unless your name is Sakura!"

Itachi laughed, creeping Sakura out. "Haha. Of course I can read. That's why I came in through the window."

Sakura smacked herself in the head... with the iPod.

"Hey!" Itachi exclaimed, snatching it from her. "What are you doing with my iPod?"

The pinkette's eye twitched. "...That's Sasuke's..." she muttered.

"...You took this from Sasuke?"

"Yeah..."

Itachi glared through the wall in Sasuke's direction. "O little brother of mine," he shouted menacingly. "You've got some explaining to do!"

Sakura stared after the elder Uchiha as he jumped from the window like the psychopath he was. Shaking her head, Sakura went out the door - and again found herself face to face with someone in a black and red cloak.

"EEP!" she squealed. "...Wait. Who are you?"

The cloaked person took off its hat, revealing a... was that a man or...? Anyway, the person had blonde hair in a poofy ponytail. The rest of the thing's hair was covering its right eye.

"The name's Deidara, un," it replied.

Sakura smiled. "Okay!" she said grinning.

Deidara raised an eyebrow. "Why are you smiling like that, un?"

" 'Cause I know you're a guy now!"

He started to slap his forehead, but saw his hand and decided against it. He started to speak, but a bloody-murder scream cut him off.

Sakura looked toward the source of the screech. Sasuke was running for his life with Itachi at his heels. The pink-haired girl shook her head. "So long, Sasuke-kun," she said quietly. "It was nice knowing you."

Deidara cleared his throat. "Ahem... So..."

Sakura looked at him. "Yes?"

"...Wanna go get ramen?"

She grinned again. "Un!"

And so, arm in arm, Sakura and Deidara marched happily to the ramen shop.

...Yeah.

Wrong, babe. Un.

Oh. Right. Sorry, bumblebee. Ummm... Un. ...Bye now!

WAIT! I WANNA TALK!

Too bad. Un.

Get lost, loud mouth.

Itachi? What are you doing here, un?

Yeah, what are you doing here?

I'm here to make an announcement.

Oh, really? What is it-

Un?

Ahem... No Sasukes were harmed in the making of this fanfic. ...At least, no Sasukes that mattered.

ITACHI! DEIDARA!

EEEEP!

L-leader-sama!

...Itachi, get your butt back to the hideout.

Yes, sir. *zzzzzzzzooooooooooommmmmm*

Deidara... meh, you can stay here. Pinky there seems to like you.

PINKY?

Yes. Pinky.

... *zzzzzoooooommmmm*

HEY! BUMBLEBEE, COME BACK!

Sorry, babe! Gotta go!

HEY! I TOLD YOU TO STAY HERE!

TOO BAD, UN!

GET BACK HERE! *zzzzzzoooooooooooommmmm*

...Uncle Nagato?

What do you want, kid?

I think the readers want to go now. Shouldn't we wrap this up so they can?

...When did you get a brain?

Uhhh... I dunno.

Fair enough. Ahem... Goodbye, crazed people.

Uncle, that's the authoress...es.

If these people are still reading, they're just as bad as those two.

...Right. Well, anyway... Bye everybody! We'll see ya next time, oka- WAAH! *getting dragged away* Uncle! Where are we going?

Ramen shop. Duh.

I love you, Uncle Nagato! ^^

... *zzzzzzzooooooooooommmmmm*

...Is your brain mush yet? If not, I'm very impressed. cause it came from akatsukikat1 and my brains...except she was sugar high as usual so um yeah, that explians it! ...Isn't it amusing how she types in third person and pretends she's me? YES 'TSUKIKITTY WUVS DAT! ...Fail. Alrighty then, see you guys next time! ...Or not. BYEBYES READ MORE OR TEH EVIL BUNNIESH GET CHU IN CHUR SLEEP!