Jou: 'Why a crossover with Twilight?'

Authoress: 'I just hate it. Not to mention my cousin cut my hair when I said how stupid that series was. Stupid cousin. -mumbles, mumbles- Why can't I have a cool cousin anyway? All I now have is a little bitch who is so obsessed with Twilight that it's not even funny.'

Jou: '…obsessed… is a strong word…'

Authoress: 'No it's not. That thing now believes that one day, a sparkling retard would show up in front of her house and they would fall madly in love with each other. HA, as if. The day it happened would be the day I owned not only Yu-Gi-Oh, but also REBD…'

Jou: -glares- 'Touch my Red Eyes, and die.'

x x x

Warning: In the moment of frustration over the lost of my precious hair, I present to you an Anti-Twilight fanfic, starring Isabella 'Bella' Mary Sue, Edward 'The Sparkling Retard' Cullen, and the Yu-Gi-Oh bishies -drools over the last part-. If you are Twihards, then please, just fuck off. This story is not for you. Oh yeah, and this story contains yaoi elements.

Now, on with the fic. ^-^

x x x

How Twilight Would Have Ended If It Was In The World Of Yu-Gi-Oh

To cut the long story short, everything happened when Bakura sent the Twilight book to the Shadow Realm, because he just couldn't take it anymore. Following his example, Yami, Marik and Seto also sent the next three books of that stupid series… excuse me, I mean saga, to the Shadow Realm as well…

… actually, Seto, who still refused to believe in the existence of the Shadow Power, no matter how many time he had witnessed it with his own eyes, just burnt down Breaking Down… I mean, Breaking Dawn, then jutted his head backward, cackling maniacally when the said book slowly turned into a pile of ashes.

Maybe that was why they just had to deal with one sparkling emo vampire and a mindless, whiny human girl at the moment, instead of two sparkling idiots whose family was so rich that they could move Brazil from the East Coast to the West Coast.

'…tell me again, why do we have to deal with… this?' Bakura started, fighting back the urge to twitch at the scene in front of him ('-sparkled, sparkled- Bella, this is the skin of the killer'; 'Oh I don't care Edward, I still love you with all of my being. Please have sex with me, then turn me into a perfect sparkling vampire like you so we could be together forever!'; 'No! I won't have sex with you until you agree to marry me'; 'YES! I will marry you my beautiful Adonis'; 'Oh my heroin, I love you.')

'…I guess the Shadow Power has effected them in some way, and made them come to life,' Yami mused. 'Maybe we shouldn't send those books to the Shadow Realm in the first place…'

'Lucky Kaiba burnt his book, huh?' Marik cackled.

'I don't care what you idiots are planning to do,' Seto growled, standing in front of Mokuba, who looked like he was going to be sick right there and then at all the 'My Adonis' and 'My heroin' he was witnessing. 'But find a way to get rid of them. Those retards are dirtying the garden of my mansion, not to mention they will give Mokuba nightmare tonight.'

'Yes, Yami, please get rid of them,' Yugi looked at his yami with tears in those purple eyes. 'I can't take it anymore.'

'Hey, hey, Aibou,' Yami tried to calm his hikari down, who was sobbing. 'Don't cry, don't cry… I… I will find a way to fix thing up, okay? Please trust me…'

(In the background:

'I love you, Edward!'

'No, I love you more, Bella!'

'No, I love you more!'

'No, I love you more! Can't you see, Bella? I love you to the point that I have kept my virginity for you, and you alone! I have kept my virginity and waited for you, my soulmate, my destiny, for over 100 years!'

'Oh Edward, so romantic!')

'I can't believe he is still a virgin after such a long time,' Marik mumbled, paling a little at the thought of keeping himself and no sex. 'That sounds… awful. I don't think I could stand that…'

'So you'd better try to get rid of them, Marik, or so help me you will find your hands being your best friend for the next 100 years,' Malik hissed, glaring at his darker half. He was so sick of all the sparkling and mushiness, and if no one was going to do anything, he would sure commit murder. Hm, that didn't sound so bad, especially when he knew Kaiba would probably get him out of trouble as a thank for killing those annoying pests…

'Maybe we should send them to the Shadow Realm?' Bakura suggested.

'Uh… I don't think it's a good idea, you know,' Ryou said, frowning a little. 'I mean, Yami said the Shadow brought them to life, so what if… by sending them back there, where they originally came from, we would make them become stronger?'

'Or worse, they would then find a way to come back here with more of their retard friends,' Malik mumbled (more like grumbled). 'And everyone with enough common sense would then end up completely lost it…'

'Not to mention, even when they couldn't find a way to come back, I don't think the Shadow Monsters would be pleased to meet them,' Yugi pointed out.

(In the back ground:

'Oh Edward, you are so perfect with your perfect sparkling skin and your beautiful, God-like body and your handsome face and your velvety voice, while I'm just your ordinary girl with nothing special, and very clumsy. I'm not worthy of your love!'

'But Bella, your blood is very irresistible, and for that, I love you! And of course, because you are not blonde…'

'Oh Edward! This means we are SOULMATES!' )

'For the love of Ra,' Bakura finally twitched. 'We should just kill them both, then cut their bodies into teeny tiny little bits, and scatter them all over the planet.'

'Or we could hide the bodies where Jounouchi hid the corpses of that Hirutani guy and his gang,' Marik mused. 'Us three are the only ones know where that is after all.'

'Wait a minute,' Yugi looked scandalized. 'What do you mean by Jou-kun hid the corpses of Hirutani and his gang members?'

'They just kind of mysteriously disappeared, did they not?' both Bakura and Marik grinned wickedly, while everyone else involuntary stepped back a little, at the same time wondering what these two psychopaths had done to Jou to make the blonde sounded like he had murdered all of his his ex-gang members.

Speaking of Jou, where was he?

'Where is that Bonkotsu anyway?' Seto frowned. 'The last time I checked, you geeks practically glued to each other side most of the time.'

Yugi and his group just shrugged.

'We don't know for sure,' Ryou replied. 'We last saw him when he was with Mai.'

For some reason that Seto refused to admit, he felt really, really annoyed at the fact that Jou was spending time with Mai off all people. Seriously, it wasn't like she was the last person on Earth or anything, right?

'… whatever, just find a way to get rid of the pests,' the CEO grunted, motioning towards the said pests, but was still mentally grumbling over the fact Bonkotsu was not there with him… ehem, what he meant was that Jou was not there with his friends.

'Maybe Yami should Mind Crush them?' Mokuba voiced out his thought, finally came back to his sense after being stunned by all the ridiculousness in the air…

(Again, in the back ground:

'Bella, you can't possibly love me, for I'm a monster! I kill countless of mountain lions because I'm a vegetarian vampire and I refuse to drink from humans! And I still have the skin of the killer!.'

'But I still luv you, because you are so handsome that I creamed myself!')

'Hm, that… is a good idea,' Yami mused, nodding to himself.

Before anyone could add their opinion about whether or not Yami should use his Mind Crush though, the sound of car engine reached everyone's ears, and the yamis, the hikaris and the Kaiba brothers all turned to the source of the noice…

… just to see a large, dark blue van running at full speed to their direction, crashing into the fence surrounded the Kaiba Mansion, knocking one part of the said fence down, before halting suddenly in front of the jaw-dropped group.

Whoever drove that thing was crazy!

'Hi guys!'

And if they didn't let their jaws drop to the ground when the van made its appearance, then they sure dropped their jaws when the car window was rolled down, revealing to the world the grinning face of one Jounouchi Katsuya. Except, he now had bandages wrapped over his right eye.

What was wrong with it?

'Bonkotsu,' Seto was the first one to pick his jaw up. 'What, in Blue Eyes's name, were you thinking, driving at that speed? Do you want to die?' his voice sounded dangerously cold.

'Aww, I didn't know you care, Kaiba,' Jou grinned, then patted the van gently. 'So, what do you think of this baby?'

'It's that yours?' Yugi asked, wondering if Jou even had a license.

'Nah,' Jou waved his hand around, dismissed the idea. 'Just borrow it.'

'Do you even have a license?' Mokuba spoke up, only to receive a shrug.

'It doesn't matter,' the blonde replied nonchalantly. 'I only use the van for one purpose, and one purpose only anyway.'

'And what is that purpose?' Ryou tilted his head in wonderment.

Jou just let out a maniacal grin. 'This purpose!'

With that, he drove the van, once again at the dangerously high speed, straight towards the retarded 'lion' and the mindless 'lamp', hitting Bella none too gently with it, sending the said girl, shrieking and screaming, to the air, before her body crashed down to the ground as a mess of blood and flesh.

'NOOO! BELLA!'' screamed Edward with his velvety voice, as he ran to the bloody mess that was once his precious 'heroin'.

The Yu-Gi-Oh bishies just stared at all of this in complete silent, stunned, while Jou triumphantly jumped out of the van and pumped his fist in the air.

'TEAM TYLER'S VAN RULES!' he cheered, then merrily skipped to the direction of the heart-broken Edward with a backpack fulled of… something.

'Edward,' the dying Bella sobbed, clutching her Adonis's hand. 'Edward… I'm dying…'

'Yes, Bella, I know,' Edward whispered back (while trying his hardest to hold himself back. Damn, blood was everywhere… so tempting…). 'I know, Bella…'

'I don't want to die,' tears rolling down Bella's blood stained cheeks, and her lips quivered. 'I want to be with you forever and ever, giving birth to a demon spawn that is our daughter, and become a speshul vampire…'

'I know, Bella. I know,' Edward's voice sounded cracked. 'I don't want you to die as well…'

'Then change me, Edward. Turn me into one of your own.'

Edward opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off by a very polite Jou, who decided that he had waited long enough.

'Hey Sparkling Boy,' the blonde called, earning Edward's attention. Still grinning like a psychopath (Bakura and Marik, despite being in shock, still couldn't help but feel so proud at the grin on their protégé's face. Ah, the blonde had learnt), Jou pushed the backpack into Edward's hands. 'Here is a… small gift. Please take it.'

'Ah… thank you?' Edward looked extremely confused, wondering what the heck was inside the backpack as Jou running as far away from the bronze haired immortal as possible, all the while cackling eerily (Ryou and Malik shot their yamis a death glare, because they were sure it was the two yamis' fault Jou was acting the way he was. Bakura and Marik just smiled 'innocently' at their hikaris, while ignoring the glares coming their way from the ex-Pharaoh and the CEO of Kaiba Corp.)

Once Jou had reached his desination (aka standing with the group), the now one-eyed teen, still cackling - like whatever he was planning was really funny - pulled out a small device of some sort from his pocket, holding it like it was some kind of treasure. Looking at Edward, who was now opening the backpack to see what he just received, Jou's body shook in excitement.

Of all the thing he expected to see once the backpack was opened, the supposed to be vampire never thought of something like this. But, before he could throw the backpack away, Jou already pressed the red button.

KABOOM!

And Edward Cullen was blown into pieces when the bombs were activated.

'YES! MY PLAN FUCKING WORKED!' Jou started to jump around in glee, and everyone just kind of forgot about the dying Bella lying in the middle of the road, because they were too busy letting their minds work out what the hack just happened. 'TAKE THAT, YOU STUPID PIXIE!'

x x x

'Can you please tell us what just happened out there?' Mokuba asked, once they had settled down in the living room of the Kaiba Mansion, and Seto's bodyguards had taken care of Bella's corpse, along with cleaning the road to get rid of the all the blood and gores.

'And what happened to your eye?' Yugi questioned, worried for his best friend.

'Mai came to visit,' Jou replied calmly, like they were just discussing about weather. 'And she forced me to read Twilight, saying that it was a masterpiece. What she didn't know was that, I have read it, because Shizuka loved the series, a lot, and I hate it to the core. I told her I would rather shove a razor blade in my eye than read it again, and she told me I was just being exaggerated,' a shrug. 'So I showed her that, yes, I would rather shove a razor blade in my eye than read the book.'

Everyone just thought Jou was insane. Or maybe he truly was, considering that Bakura and Marik had taken the blonde as their protégé about five months ago, for some reasons that had yet to be known (not that anyone wanted to know anyway). And as far as everyone was concerned, it was kind of expectable that Jou ended up losing his sane, because you couldn't be sane with two psychos as your instructors.

'You mean, you shoved a razor blade in your own eye?' Yami stared at his friend blankly.

Jou shrugged. 'Yes. Mai kind of screamed when I did that. Wonder why she reacted that way…'

Seto gave the blonde the 'are you that stupid' look.

'Did it hurt?' Bakura wondered, only to receive an elbow from Ryou. 'What? It's a nice question!'

'It's a stupid one,' the ex-Pharaoh mumbled, but apparently was still loud enough for the ex-Thief to hear.

'Watch it,' the albino yami glared at the King of Games, who glared back.

'If you want to know, you should try it yourself,' Jou grinned.

Marik nodded his head. 'Sounds fun.'

Only to be hit over the head by Malik.

'Don't talk nonsense,' the sandy blonde hikari hissed, while Marik pouted at how violent his hikari-mine treated him.

'Still, what just happened with Edward?' Yugi finally spoke up. 'We know you hit Bella with the van, but still have no clue why Edward just suddenly blew up like that.'

'The backpack had bombs inside,' Jou explained nonchalantly, then smirked at the look he received from the others. 'Yes, bombs. More than one.'

'Where did you get them?' Seto asked.

A chuckle. 'That's for me to now, and for you guys to never find out. Ever.'

x x x

In the end, Yugi-tachi stayed at the Kaiba Mansion for dinner, and was now leaving.

'Thanks for the meal, Kaiba,' Jou grinned at the eldest Kaiba, and Seto was glad that it was the blonde's carefree one instead of his new psychopathic one. 'I like it, a lot.'

'Whatever, Bonkotsu,' the young CEO grunted, folding his arms across his chest. 'Say, want to go to this new restaurant tomorrow? My treat.'

Immediately, everyone stopped whatever they were doing to look at the brunet and the one-eyed blonde, wondering if they heard it right.

'Huh?' Jou tilted his head to the side, looking very much like a cute puppy. 'You mean you will take me and the gang to the new…'

'No,' Seto cut Jou off. 'Only you. After all, you were the one getting rid of the pests, not them.'

Jou blinked once, then twice, then let a happy smile appear on his face.

'Sure!'

'Good,' from the outside, Seto looked like he couldn't care less about Jou's answer, but inside, he just sighed in relief, then wondering why he felt relief. 'I will pick you up at 7 sharp, okay?'

'Okay,' Jou nodded.

With one last wave to the BEWD's master, Jou left the mansion with his friends, leaving Seto at the door way, a faint smile on his handsome face.

'Niisama?' Mokuba's voice snapped Seto out of his own world, and the brunet turned to his little brother.

'What is it, Mokuba?'

'…is that a date you just set with Jou?'

x x x

Authoress: 'Yatta. Finally done! ^-^'

Jou: 'Don't be too happy. You do know that, if the Twihards read this, they will flame you, right?'

Authoress: -shrugs- 'I don't mind. Flames will be use to burn the flamers alive after all. I have ESP, I will know who the flamers are, and where they live, and I will seek them out.'

R&R, minna ^-^.