A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a midget boy living on Tatooine. This boy was called Anakin. Anakin didn't like sand. It was coarse, rough, irritating, and it got everywhere. This hatred of sand always flowed through him, causing him to scare off travellers so they wouldn't have to experience the horrible sandy planet. Ironic he could save others from the sand, but not himself.
One day, Anakin was working overtime for Watto. Well, working doesn't really describe it, considering he was a slave boy. Watto was a dick. Watto's nose was a dick. Anakin thought he was compensating for something with his dick nose of his. Anakin was putting stuff into storage when Watto yeeted "Anakin you wankstain, I needs ya!" so Anakin replied "waddya want ya floating pile of dick cheese?" Anakin was allowed to badmouth Watto because all the other slaves were retarded and didn't know how to fix Watto's piles of shit. "You need to go to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters you fucktard!" Anakin then said "Fine, I'm going you blue bastard!" And so he did.
An hour later, Anakin was on his way back from Tosche Station with the power converters when he went past a pile of crap. Not just any pile of crap, one which contained something interesting to the slave boy. It was some sort of droid. Anakin thought that he could reprogram it to play Sabacc which could get him enough credits to get a steady supply of deathsticks. Anakin loved deathsticks, especially after a dealer visited Mos Eisley. He talked about a city planet called Coruscant. It was full of deathsticks. Anakin wanted to go there. So Anakin decided to haul the remains of the droid back to his slave shack and to fuck with Watto by delivering his power converters in the morning instead.
Once Anakin arrived, his mother yelled at him. "Waddya think yer doing being out this late. You coulda died ya bastard" Anakin was a bastard. Apparently there was no father but Anakin knew his mother was full of shit. He had a hunch it was the deathstick dealer from Coruscant. Anakin didn't mind this, he seemed to be a great role model for the young slave boy. "We're slaves for fucks sake, Watto was working me overtime!" Anakin was about to go to his room with the droid but his mother saw. "What is that?" "It's a fucking droid you dipshit!" Anakin then went to his room.
Anakin turned the droid off and on again. This was his secret weapon when fixing Watto's shit. All technology works when turned off and on again. As usual, it worked. The droid's eyes lit up and its remaining limbs started moving around slightly. "Who the fuck are you and what the hell do you do?" Anakin said. "I'm C3PO you faggot, and I speak lots of languages." the droid replied. "Fucking hell, you're useless!" Anakin sighed. "Go fuck yourself you wankstain!" The droid replied. Anakin then decided to make the droid his personal slave because he couldn't actually reprogram a droid. "You are my slave now you bitch!" Anakin exclaimed but C3PO clearly wasn't happy about that as he tried to stand up and voice his anger. "What? This is outrageous, it's unfair! How can I be a highly advanced droid and not have a highly advanced job?!" However, Anakin just said "Take a seat motherfucker", asserting his organic dominance over the droid.
Anakin went to sleep a while after but woke up with a brilliant idea. He yeeted off of his pallet he slept on and ran towards the dick droid. "Oi, wake up you useless piece of shit! I need you for stuff!" but the droid just replied with a swift "fuck off you midget boi". Anakin slapped the uncooperative droid and went back to his pallet. Watto didn't give him a bed so he stole a pallet from his workshop. He struggled to sleep as he had a very good idea but the droid was a massive cunt so he had to wait to dewit. He eventually fell asleep and he dreamt of finally becoming a deathstick dealer, like his father before him.
The next day, the midget boi decided to be late for Watto just because Watto was a massive dick so he decided he would attempt to talk to the droid, who was just as much of an ass as Watto. It didn't go very well because as soon as Anakin walked into the room, the droid yelled "BEGONE THOT!" So Anakin left. He then went outside to work on his pile of crap that vaguely resembled a podracer. Anakin enjoyed podracing, especially running over those pesky womprats. That was actually how he broke Watto's podracer. Anakin thought he could easily flatten the slightly larger than average womprat but that wasn't the case. Anakin didn't like womprats almost as much as he hated sand.
For the seventeenth time that morning, Anakin tried turning the podracer off and on again, but it didn't work. He even tried taking the batteries out and putting them back in again. That also didn't work. This was why he needed to acquire credits. It was completely unheard of in the sandy slave community to buy something as they never had credits. Anakin would sell deathsticks to everyone, using the droids many languages to monopolise the art of selling deathsticks. He would then fix his podracer, enter the podracing competition and then leave the sandy hellhole known as Tatooine. It was a well-conceived plan, however there was great risk. If the dick nosed Watto found out, he would never leave Tatooine, forcing him to remain on the sand planet.
Anakin then realised that it was probably a good idea to go to Watto's so he wouldn't get pissed off or suspicious. He was probably both right now. He was usually at least one of them when he was around Anakin. Anakin then yeeted to Watto in record time and started turning broken stuff off and on again like the 'good' slave he was. Watto was too busy trying to con some travellers to notice Anakin not being there for an entire morning. That was a good thing as it allowed Anakin to devise the best way to execute his plan to leave the sand, and eventually destroy the shitty material.