Hey all readers! Or those who mistook this story for something else and now wish to leave this instant. A few words:
I'm nawt a doctor. Yeah, I know you're surprised, but that's true. So even though I did do some background research for this (thanx, Wikipedia), it's still, I guess, messed up and unbeliavable. But if you can take that, I hope you'll find this a good read nonetheless.
Also, I don't own Scrubs. Yeah, I know you're surprised, but that's true. I'm really truthful today.
Enjoy!
Of Pediatrics and Bastard Martyrs
That day started like any other day at Sacred Hearts.
Hell no, who am I kidding? No day starts as any other, at least not in here. In here, you never know what's gonna happen next. You see, in a hospital you have to be ready for anything; not just for the medical stuff, but for personal issues, relationships and such, too.
Carla would have propably continued her musings around the subject if she hadn't heard familiar voices arguing, coming closer to the nurses station. She saw Laverne turn around on the chair: the show was going to be good.
"Dr. Cox, I have made it very clear that I don't neither listen to nor care about the things you say.
Or at least that's what I thought, but since you have once again mistaken me for someone who actually gives a crap, I can only assume that I haven't stressed this enough-"
"Oh come on, Bobbo, this isn't all about me: you gotta admit that the current situation isn't good for anyone. Not even for the hospital, no matter how much money were saving right now. You see, the pediatrics' non-medical staff doesn't actually say: 'Hey, bring your kids here, they're gonna be fine.' No, nonono, it doesnt. It's more like: 'Hey, bring your kids here, we're gonna rip of their heads, put them on sticks and roast them on our trash can fires like marshmallows.' Honestly, have you even seen those people, or did you just go to the back alley, close your eyes and randomly pick the first hobo's that came to your arm's reach?"
The loud conversation had already captured the attention of all the nurses. Laverne was absently dialing the number of one of her girlfriends, but still keeping her eyes on the two doctors in case there would be some more juicy sass. Carla, though lightly amused by Cox's rant, couldn't help but to frown. Dr. Cox knew very well that pushing Kelso's buttons wasn't the wisest choice to make, and still he kept doing it, like he couldn't stop. He's always standing in his own way, she thought. I should propably offer him some advice...
"I have no idea what you're talking about. The people in charge of watching over the play area, entertaining the kids and blah blah blah are all highly educated, very competent and-"
"What about that new guy?"
Dr. Cox's face was turning in to an alarming shade of red. He clearly had very strong feelings about the personnel in pediatrics since this was already the second time he cut Kelso's answer short.
"Oh, excellent CV: great references, worked with kids dozens of times before-"
"He used to be a cats salesperson who ate painkillers like Tic Tacs! You only hired him because he happened to jump up from the dumpster the second you got out of your car in the morning and thought how we needed new people in pediatrics!"
A short silence fell and for a moment the pinpong-like headspinning that the nurses, Ted and a couple of elderly patients sitting on the bench had been doing, was stopped.
"- allright, they suck. Never seen more horrible people in my life. But that doesn't change the fact that I don't care. I'm not going to hire new workers just because that ex-wife - or what ever the hell she is right now – of yours wants a free place where to dump your daughter."
"Son."
"What ever."
And with that Kelso turned around and started to walk down the hallway, and the only voices that could be heard – apart from the announcements from the central radio – were the whispers of the nursing staff and patients and Laverne talking on the phone, now describing every detail of the argument that had made her day.
Carla was staring at Dr. Cox, who was still staring at Kelso. He's not going to continue the fight? He's just gonna let Kelso go? Oh my God, has he really changed and become a clever and mature person?
Yep. Those were all the voices that could be heard. That was, until -
"Hey Bob, I'm not finished yet!"
Oh, great, Carla thought.
Kelso didn't even look at Dr. Cox, and so he missed the fact that Cox looked extremely angry, even when one took to consideration that he was- well, Dr. Cox. Now he's doing that again, Carla thought. He's pouring all his anger to this one, small issue, just so that he can vent it out. She looked at Dr. Cox, now getting worried: his breathing seemed laboured.
Something was off.
No, Kelso did not look back when he said:"Well, that's too bad, but I am. My hospital, my rules."
"YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW, OR I-"
And that was it. Suddenly Dr. Cox stopped yelling, drew in a loud breath, swayed a little on his feet, and then collapsed to the floor.
Carla was the first to react.
"Dr. Cox!"
He didn't even move.
Oh my God, oh my God...
There were propably twenty people now buzzing around Dr. Cox who still lay on the floor, and Carla was in the middle of it all. Through all the yelling Laverne, who now stood behind the desk, phone hanging in her hand, could hear that high blood pressure had resulted in cardiac dysrhythmia. Though still unconscious, Dr. Cox would be fine if they'd just get him to a room and start the medication. That piece of knowledge, how reassuring it may be, didn't reach the person Laverne had been talking to and who was now continuously asking what was going on.
Finally Dr. Cox was on a gurney and being rolled away from the nurses station. Carla watched after them, worry and anxiety written on her face, as they disappeared behind the corner.
"Go."
She turned to Laverne, who was now looking at her with sympathetic eyes.
"He'll need a friend when he wakes up. Go. I'll call his wife."
Carla smiled: "Thank you." And then she was already running.
It took her only a moment to find the right room. A doctor was just placing an IV drip when she walked in. Dr. Cox stirred as the needle poked through his skin, and Carla immediately stepped closer. Slowly, D.r Cox opened his eyes, and after his gaze had wandered for a moment, he turned to look at her.
"Hey."
"Hey."
Then it was silent. Dr. Cox stared intently at the ceiling, while Carla looked at her feet: they barely noticed the doctor closing the door, leaving them alone.
Then Carla couldn't hold back any longer.
"You are so stupid!"
Cox's gaze snapped back at her, all confused and a little angry.
"Excuse me?"
"There you go, once again pretending like everything's OK even though you're fully aware it isn't. Oh my God, you almost had a heart attack! And you know as well as I do that it had nothing to do with you're physical condition: no, it was because of all that anger and all those emotions you keep buried really should talk to someone, and you know it, but no, you have to keep that 'big, bad Dr Cox'-thing going on so that you just don't have to deal with your issues like normal people do. Someone might say it's because you're afraid of being vulnerable, or 'cause you don't know how to talk about these things, but I say it's because you're stupid."
Carla drew a shaky breath, and then lowered her voice.
"So stupid that you don't realize that there are people who care about you, who want to help you. Don't you see that I want to help you?"
At this point Dr. Cox, who had been facing the other way, staring angrily out of the window, turned back towards Carla. Seeing her sad face softened his expression, and he smiled a little.
"You know many things about me, Carla. More than most of the people in this place. Hell, you even know some things Jordan doesn't know. But for me to open up and tell everything? I'm not gonna do that. You know it, Carla, I'm not that guy.
And about that 'big, bad Dr Cox'- thing you were talking about. Very sweet of you people to think up different explanations for it, but have you ever considered that it's not a role: that deep inside I truly am an egoistic, bastard martyr who-"
"Who just wants everyones love and attention?"
"See, you get me!" Dr. Cox said, laughing.
But when Carla didn't even smile, he took a more serious face.
"I'm never gonna tell you everything, Carla. I'm never gonna tell anyone everything. You don't want to know everything. But you shouldn't stress too much about it; it's not your fault. It's my own decision. It may be because I don't wanna appear weak. It may be because I don't know how to open up. It may also be because I truly am what I seem."
"Or maybe it's because in my opinion the only one who has the right to know everything, and therefore the right to hate me for everything, is me."
They stared each other for a long time, Carla trying to comprehend what had just been said, and Dr. Cox hoping to see that she had understood.
Eventually he broke the silence: " I hope you realize that I'm under medicaion right now and that's propably the very reason why I'm frustratingly nice. And-" at this point he looked Carla straight in the eyes," I hope you also realize that telling you all this proves that I trust you, even though you will never hear everything."
She smiled.
After an hour, when Turk came to get her, Dr. Cox was already asleep. In the doorway they met with Jordan, who tried hard not to look concerned or worried at all. She just handed Jack over to them, and slammed the door behind her, effectively waking up her ex-husband.
"I really don't get those two. I mean, how can they spend every day pretending they don't care about each other? I don't know, to me that just seems messed up."
"It does to me, too, honey. But hey, if it works for them..."
They observed Dr. Cox and Jordan behind the blinds. When they thought that no one saw them, they were actually kinda sweet to one another. Deep down 'an egoistic bastard martyr' , my ass, Carla thought. He's made many mistakes, but this... this seems right. I mean, so sweet, now they're holding hands and kissing. And kissing a little more... and now they're kissing just a little more... and oh my God that's not something you should do in a hospital bed!
Turk couldn't have opened his eyes anymore, they were big as plates. "Oh. Dear. Lord. That's disgusting."
"We should propably get Jack away from here."
Turk nodded. " I agree."
Carla took Jack by the hand, and started leading him down the corridor, away from the window through which they had just seen... that.
"Come on, Jack, let's take you to the play area in pediatrics.
…
…
...or, on second thought, let's not."
~Fin~
That was that! A few words, this time from you, would be appreciated.
With love, PadawannaB.