Title goes here
By
Kerlis Pretty Red Apple
And
NeonZebara
Prologue
I never given much thought to how I'd eat pie, but here I am taking videos of a deer in a forest- but even if I had, I'd still eat pie anyway, 'cause I'm a Mary sue.
I stared without breathing (then died), I crossed the long room into the bright light of the refrigerator. And it looked pleasantly back at me with whipped cream.
Surely it was a poisoned pie, I'm eighteen, in the prime of my life, I can just die soon, no kids, no marriage, a pasty white guy watching me in my sleep, just telling me what to do all the time, I'm pretty much ready to die ('cause I'm old and still a virgin).
In the place of someone else, someone I loved, for the past three months, I think his name is Edmund, noble even; he's only killed about a hundred people, give or take. That ought to count for something, one, two, three, four, seven..?
I knew that if I had never gone to 'Tablecloth' I wouldn't be facing death right now (oh, darn). But terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision; the pie was just so good. When life offers you- it was just so darn good!
The refrigerator growled, needing to be repaired, I think the warrant is out, the door swung open and… DUN DUN DUN! Made it cold!