Patricide
"Sebastian I need you to kill someone," Jim said, without looking up from his desk as he sniper walked in to his office.
"What else is new?" Sebastian asked, with a smirk. The last kill had put him in a good mood.
"This one's important," Jim said, his tone serious. A lot more serious than Jim generally was.
"What is it?" Sebastian asked, biting back a comment about how he thought they were all important. Clearly this was something different.
"I want you to kill my father," Jim told him, finally looking up. He met the sniper's eyes calmly.
Sebastian knew he shouldn't have been shocked but he still was. Jim never mentioned his family, Sebastian had assumed that any family he had had was already dead. He had never expected anything like this. But in truth, he knew he should've. People didn't just become criminals and killers for no reason, and a personal, family reason would make sense for someone like Jim.
"Are you certain?" Sebastian asked. It was a stupid question, of course it was. Jim didn't make requests like this for a flying thought. He would've put a lot of thought into it. He would know what he was doing.
"Of course I'm bloody certain," Jim snapped. But there was something different about it. If Sebastian hadn't known better, he would've said that Jim looked shaken. He didn't dare ask if the other was all right thought. He knew Jim, now wasn't the time. Now was the time to talk business, to get the jobs done. Later, when they were at home, Sebastian could ask the personal questions. At home Sebastian could be his partner, here he could only be his employee. He wasn't bitter about the fact, but he worried about Jim and often it was hard not checking up on him at work.
"Any special requests?" Sebastian asked. Jim rarely had ways he wanted people killed, but sometimes, if it was particularly important, he was specify how he wanted it to happen. Jim's reply was unexpected though.
"Make sure it's done as soon as possible. And don't leave until you're certain he's dead," JIm told him. There was a slight shake in his voice, Jim sounded scared. Sebastian hated that. Jim smirked quickly though, as though realising and pulling himself together. "In fact. I want you to get close up. I want you to make sure it's painful, make sure it's come from me, make sure he knows you're my partner and you're doing this for me."
Sebastian smiled. He always loved it when Jim referred to him as his partner. He did it so rarely, but it was how Sebastian saw them. Jim had stopped being just his boss a long time ago, and it meant a lot when Jim acknowledged that Sebastian wasn't just an employee. "Yes, sir," he grinned. The sir had become almost a joke between then. Sebastian had to be polite at work, but the sir was a stretch, Sebastian did it in an almost ironic way. A way that is anyone else was saying it they would certainly be killed on the spot. Softer, he asked, "Can I ask why?"
"It's a free country, Sebastian, there is nothing stopping you asking," Jim replied, simply. Sebastian didn't push. He knew Jim, he knew that he wasn't going to get anything more of Jim then. Maybe later. Maybe at home. But right then, Jim wouldn't tell him any more. Jim clearly thought it wasn't important. Sebastian was here to kill people on his orders of course, the reasoning behind the murders weren't important.
"Where will I find him?" Sebastian asked. He felt a certain anger towards Jim's father. He knew that whatever happened between him and Jim must've been terrible. For Jim to want Sebastian up close, making it hurt, for his own father. He hated the man for whatever he had done to his kitten.
Jim passed him a file with the information he needed. "He's getting a plane back to Dublin tonight, make sure he's dead before he should be on it."
"Consider it done," Sebastian told him before heading out. Jim gave him a small smile as he watched him leave.
—
It was different to his other killings. Firstly, of course because it was close up. Sebastian was much more comfortable with killing with his rifle from a distance, being close up almost felt wrong. But it was for Jim, he had to do it that way. It was different, also, because of how personal it was. Sebastian had been precise, making it slow and painful, cutting him, shooting him, taunting him. Jim's father had proven to be an all round bastard. He had made comments about how Jim was a joke, how he needed to pull himself together, to stop his life from being the mess it was. Sebastian had told him that Jim was perfect, and that he was in no position to be criticising him. And then, he had finished it off. Rather than letting him bleed to death slowly, he shoot him through the brain to hurry it up. Normally he would've loved to have waited to see the pain, to watch the pleads, the final words, the fear, the horror, the anger, whatever emotion. It was fun to watch. But Sebastian was worried about Jim. He needed to get back to him.
He let himself into the flat they shared quietly. "Jimmy?" he called through. He knew he had blood on him. It wasn't a lot compared to some jobs that had almost gone badly in the past, but it was still noticeable. "I'm back," he called again, dropping his bag and heading towards the bathroom.
Jim came out of the living room and stopped him. "He's dead?" he asked. He didn't sound like the consulting criminal. He sounded like a scared little child, like a child who needed convincing that the nightmare wasn't real.
Sebastian nodded, "He's dead," he replied, pulling Jim into his arms.
Jim held on to him, tightly. "And you're not hurt?" He sounded genuinely concerned. He pulled back just enough to be able to look over Sebastian,
"Of course not," Sebastian promised. "Why would I be?"
Jim shrugged, non-committedly. "Never know…"
Sebastian looked at him, worried by how he was acting. This wasn't like Jim. This had to be one of those many things. One of those things Jim had buried deep down and tried to forget about, but then it had come back with a vengeance. "What happened, Jimmy?" he asked, gently. Jim shook his head, hugging him again. Sebastian held him close, and moved to lift him up. Jim wrapped his legs around Sebastian's waist and looped his arms around his neck, resting his head on Sebastian's chest. "All right, tell me when you're ready," he said, gently. "I'll be here."
Jim just kept hold of him. He was quiet as Sebastian walked through to the living room and took a seat on the sofa, keeping Jim on his lap. He remained quiet. It scared Sebastian. It always scared Sebastian when Jim was quiet, he was about to say something, something to try and coax words out of Jim but Jim got there first. "Tell me how you did it?" he asked quietly. The tone wasn't Jim's but the words were. The tone was quiet, scared, childlike, the words were the consulting criminal's.
Sebastian smiled, pushing Jim's hair back from his face. "I told him who I was, what my job was, who I was to you," he started, and went into a story about it. He made it elaborate but didn't stray from the truth. He didn't leave out any details but he didn't add in everything. He just told Jim exactly what had happened. He didn't lie, he didn't take out the part when Jim's Dad had been insulting him. He knew Jim would be expecting it, and if it wasn't there Jim would know he had been lying. He couldn't do that to Jim. Jim wanted the truth and that was what he got.
Jim listened quietly, taking in every single word. "Perfect," he purred, softly, when Sebastian was finished. "I knew I could rely on you."
"Always," Sebastian promised. "Now, are you going to talk to me about it?"
Jim shook his head, a determined expression of his face. Sebastian just watched him quietly, waiting for him to speak. He didn't want to push him too much, he knew Jim would speak when he was read to. "He scares me," Jim muttered. His voice was bitter, he hated admitting it, and he hated that it was true. "He always has."
"Why?" Sebastian kept his voice gently, stroking his hair carefully.
"I was never good enough for him," Jim replied. "Everything I did he wanted me to be doing something different. He thought I was doing everything in order to go against him, but that didn't start until much later. He accused me of it so much that I just started doing it. I might as well be guilty of what I was being punished for, right?"
The word punished stuck with Sebastian. It was clear Jim didn't mean his Dad grounded him or took away his internet. He stayed quiet, nodding to show that he was listening, wanting to give Jim the chance to continue. He was worried that if he interrupted Jim might stop, get scared to continue.
"I was never good enough," Jim repeated. "Nothing was ever enough. He didn't approve of me. Everything I did was wrong. Every problem in the house was my fault. If him and Mother argued it would somehow still be my fault."
"What did he do?" Sebastian asked, carefully. He had to keep his voice quiet in order to stop the anger he was feeling showing. He knew how vulnerable Jim was at the moment, he knew he was likely to get scared by anything and everything and Sebastian didn't want him thinking his anger was aimed at him.
"Hit me," Jim whispered, his voice was almost silent. He was staring straight ahead, clearly lost in the memory rather than being in the present with Sebastian.
Sebastian grip on him tightened protectively. "Bastard," he muttered, rocking Jim gently. "He's gone now, Jimmy, he's gone," he promised. Slowly, Jim began to relax against Sebastian, wrapping his arms around him tightly and burying his head into his chest. "You know I'll always protect you." A thought crossed Sebastian's mind. "Did you see him today?" Jim nodded against his chest, "What did he do?" Sebastian asked, worry filling him.
Jim shook his head, "Yeah, I did," he admitted. He smiled slightly, happily at Sebastian. "But you taught me well, tiger," his smile faded
"He wanted to take me home, sort me out, make me pull my life together," Jim explained, his voice was annoyed though it was still quieter than it would've been normally. "He tried to drag me out of the room," his hand moved to the top of his left arm, rubbing it subconsciously. "But I struggled too much for him to be successful. He's not strong enough to force me into things anymore. And he tried hitting me, but I managed to duck adn stop it. I managed to fight him out." Jim swallowed. "He said it wasn't over. He said he was going back to Dublin but he would be back. He said he was going to make sure that his son stopped being an embarrassment and a disgrace and a disappointment."
Sebastian felt the anger growing in him as Jim spoke. His grip on his tightened yet again. He wished he had been there, not only that day but all the times Jim had been hurt by his father when he was young. He wished he had been able to protect him. He wanted to keep him safe and do all that he could to make sure he was happy. But he knew that the memories of this wouldn't just go away, Jim was going to need help.
"I hate him." Jim said, quietly. His voice was't bitter, it was more full of wonder than anything else, as though he had only just mentioned it. "I say that about a lot of people, but it's just words. It's so easy to say I hate someone. I generally don't like people, but him… I actually hate him…" Jim trailed off. He didn't like where his mind was going. He didn't want to ask Sebastian why his father had been like that, he knew Sebastian couldn't answer those questions. He cuddled against Sebastian tightly. He hated the way his father made him feel like a pathetic little child.
"I know," Sebastian said, gently. He was rubbing Jim's back lightly, reassuringly. "I know it's hard, darling, but he's gone now. He can't hurt you ever again. He's dead. And I'm never going to let anyone get to you."
Jim managed a small, weak smile at that. "Someone already got to me," he murmured. At Sebastian confused and worried expression, he added. "You did, tiger."
Sebastian smiled. "Yeah? Well I'm glad."
Jim was deadly serious, "I mean it, Sebastian. I've never felt like I feel about you before. I love you, Sebastian."
Sebastian had never heard those words from Jim before. He had suspected it but to hear the actual words meant so much to him. He was quiet for a long moment, just staring at Jim and smiling, barely even aware that he was doing so. Jim was about to say something else when Sebastian finally spoke. "I love you too, Jim!" he announced, grinning.
Jim stayed quiet, leaning against him, looking up at him. His father was dead. Sebastian loved him. Maybe finally he was safe and could be happy.