Starring:
Sniper - Fred
Spy – Daphne
Pyro – Scooby
Scout – Shaggy
Engineer – Velma
And others
Sniper's camper or van or whatever the hell had a paint job – well, not really. Scout and Pyro threw paint all over the vehicle, hoping the act would result in something pleasant. Of course, that's not what happened. The van looked as if a toddler and a paranoid schizophrenic had been left alone to play with cans of paint. The dominant color of the van had turned to a shade of turquoise, but there were specks of all different colors around. For the final touch, Scout painted a peace symbol on the top of the van. Overall, it did look better than the van's old appearance, which Scout used to like mocking and saying it looked like shit on wheels.
"Like zoinks, Pyro! We need to wipe the paint off the windshield before it dries," said Scout, hurrying to find whatever possible object he could use as a towel.
"Ruh-oh!" exclaimed Pyro.
They were only able to find Spy's overpriced suit in the van's vicinity. Scout wiped away the paint running down the windshield and windows with the suit. After he was done, he threw the suit onto the the ground.
"Like Pyro, hurry up and incinerate the evidence," said Scout. "Spy really likes his suits, y'know."
"Rokay, Rout," said Pyro. He took his flamethrower out of his magical inventory and started going to town on the suit. The paint on the suit made the flame shift colors. Pyro was mesmerized by the beautiful flames. He continued flaming the suit until nothing but ashes were left on the ground.
"Nice going, Pyro. Now, we wait and see what they think."
A few minutes later, Sniper, Spy, and Engineer arrived to see the work of Scout and Pyro. The three men stood aghast at the sight.
"Jinkies," said Engineer.
"Jeepers," said Spy.
"Wot the bloody hell've ya wankers done to me camper?" said Sniper.
"Dude, like mellow your yellow and quit talking like a retard," said Scout. "Me and Pyro worked very hard to paint your van."
"Rat's right," said Pyro.
"Ain't it rad?" said Scout, ogling at the van and smugly grinning.
"No, this ain't rad at all, ya mong," said Sniper. "Me old man's the one who gave me this."
"You know, it is not so bad," said Spy, observing the van's posterior. "It is quite avant-garde, if I can say so myself as an 'onest Frenchman."
"Maybe this'll ameliorate the rather dilapidated condition of the van," said Engineer, being pedantic as usual, knowing fully well that he sounded pretentious.
"I've been thinking, does your van have a name?" said Scout to Sniper.
"No, she does not," said Sniper. "Whoi?"
"Since we're a mystery solving gang and all, we should have a totally groovy name for the van."
"'ow about l'homobile?" said Spy. "It's French, so obviously it will make zhe van sound sophisticated."
"Okay, but wot does the name mean?" asked Sniper.
"It's a portmanteau of 'omosexual and automobile," said Spy. "Now zhat zhe van has a rainbow color scheme, we can tell zhe world, loud and proud, zhat we want to be 'appy free 'omosexuals in zhe 1970's."
"That sounds beautiful," said Sniper, wiping a tear away from his eye and forgetting at that moment that his father is an extreme homophobe. Such a name would desecrate the vehicle.
"No!" shouted Scout and Engineer in unison. "Gahs, ah don't mean ta be rude or anything, but naht all us here are gay," said Engineer, adjusting his helmet.
"Yeah, like don't be frickin' ridiculous, man," said Scout.
"Shut up," said Sniper. He retorted like a little brat, "it's my camper. Oi do what Oi want. From now on, it will be called l'homobile. Now everyone, get yer asses in l'homobile. We have been called to investigate some villa all the way in Colorado."
Everyone got in the van. As usual, Sniper and Spy sat in the front while Pyro, Scout, and Engineer sat in the back of the van. Pyro had motion sickness whenever he wasn't in a seat attached to the floor facing forward, but Sniper couldn't care less about him. The front was reserved for Sniper and Spy . . . and rent boys they would sometimes pick up at gas stations on the road.
"Scout, whah do ya always have ta light up back here?" said Engineer, trying to fan out the smoke with his hand. "You're gonna give Pyro and I contact hahs."
"Reah," said Pyro.
"Like, chill the fuck out you two," said Scout, exhaling smoke from his nostrils. "There's no such thing as contact highs. You're just paranoid, man. Open the window if you're that worried."
"It's cold, and there are no vents to heat up this part of the van. Ah'm naht opening a window so we can dah from hahpothermia," said Engineer. "Great, looks lahk Ah'm naht going ta be able ta read anymore." The Engineer closed the book that was in his hands and put it to his side.
In the front of the van, Sniper and Spy were listening to some music on the radio. It was probably the Beatles because that's all anyone ever listened to back then – psyche. They were listening to King Crimson, which they found out about from Scout. Scout knew many obscure bands because of his interest in the world of psychedelic drugs.
"Sniper, zhat voice on zhe phone sounded familiar," said Spy, staring out the window at his side.
"He should've sounded familiar. It was none other than our old pal Soldier," said Sniper.
Spy was unamused. "I 'ate him."
"He's all roight, really. Plus, he's offering us a shitload of money for taking on this case. After this, we can tell the three back there to get lost and we can finally move to Bangkok and live happily ever after."
"Great," said Spy, tapping his fingers on the small space between him and Sniper out of sheer bordeom.
"Look, pumpkin, Oi know ya don't trust me with foinances, but Oi promise ya that Oi won't do anything stupid like gambling on ponies again." He patted Spy on the shoulder, but he responded by shrugging.
"You say zhese sings all zhe time, yet you never keep your promises. I don't know 'ow much my frail feminine heart can take anymore." Spy started to cry melodramatically.
"Oi know, ya deserve better than me," said Sniper, even though the two have been together for a couple a years. "Oi'm sorry, Spy." The convict then started crying too. He held his right arm out for Spy to come closer. The two started to kiss, and Sniper was no longer paying attention to the road.
"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?" said Spy softly into Sniper's ear.
"Oui," responded Sniper. That was one of the few phrases of French he managed to memorize.
"Jeepers!" exclaimed Spy, abruptly pulling the steering wheel to the right. "Sniper, we 'ave to stop doing zhis while you're driving."
Sniper and Spy heard a faint tapping coming from behind them. "Sniper, ya made Pyro vomit," the muffled voice of Engineer said. "Please drahv more carefully."
"He better not have made a mess," said Sniper. "Me and Spy have many fond memories back there, and Oi plan on having many many more."
A deluge of inappropriate thoughts about what the two have down in the back of the camper entered Engineer's mind. He grimaced. "Don't worry, most of it is stuck in his mask."
"And 'ow is Scout doing?" asked Spy.
"He passed out after mentioning some nonsense about Richard Nixon and polar bears. He'll be okay, Ah think."
A few hours later, the van had finally arrived at the mountain villa. It was lightly snowing outside, and the sun had just set, but it had not become so dark yet.
Sniper got out of his seat and knocked on the back door of his van. "Oi, you lot, we've finally arrived." Pyro, Scout, and Engineer were rudely awakened, but Spy was still napping peacefully in the passenger seat.
Scout ran out of the van and started stretching his arms and legs. "Like damn, it feels so good to get out of that cramped space."
"Reah," said Pyro, imitating Scout's stretching.
"Wow, this place sure is beautiful," said Engineer. Indeed, the villa was quite picturesque. Cedar trees surrounded its back, and in the front of it was a view of a range of mountain summits. The villa also seemed to be the only sign of human life around for miles, or at least in the panorama of the van.
"Let's go," said Sniper, holding a sleeping Spy in his arms.
That's really pathetic, thought Scout.
Engineer knocked on the front door of the villa. After a few seconds, it opened to reveal a familiar face.
"Well, if ain't my old friend Engie," said Soldier, hugging Engineer and patting his back. "It's so good to see you!"
"Hey, pardner. How have you been doing?" said Engineer, smiling.
"Good, good."
"Moi hands are a little full at the moment," said Sniper.
Soldier laughed. "Bring him in and set him on the sofa in front of the fireplace. And how have you been, doofus?" Soldier grabbed Scout's hand to shake it.
"I'm good. Where's the bathroom?" said Scout.
"There's one in the back of the den with the fireplace, right next to the kitchen." Last but not least to enter the villa was Pyro. Soldier patted him on the head.
"Good to see you again," said Soldier.
"Hi Roldier," said Pyro.
Everyone except Scout took a seat in front of the fireplace. Spy had finally awoken from his beauty sleep. Engineer was looking at the deer head mounts and bear hide hanging on the wall.
"I'm glad you could all make it here," said Soldier. "It's been awhile since we've last seen each other."
"Roight, we didn't come here fer a reunion. We came here cause you said you have a problem," said Sniper.
"I'd rather wait until Scout came back from the bathroom before discussingmy ordeal," said Soldier.
Engineer sighed. "Forget about him. He wouldn't pay attention even if he were here right now."
"Well, if you say so," said Soldier. "You guys remember Merasmus, right?"
"Zhat creepy wizard who used to be your old roommate?" asked Spy. "'ow could we ever forget 'im?"
"I was just making sure," said Soldier. "I think he's haunting me. Lately, I've been hearing what I believe to be his moans echoing through this villa. I think I even saw his silhouette on the wall of this very room once before."
"Oi thought we killed him fer good," said Sniper.
"I thought so too," said Soldier, holding his chin up with his hand.
"Are you the only one who lives here?" asked Engineer.
"Yes, I'm all alone here," said Soldier.
"Maybe you're losing it. I 'ear solitude leaves people to imagine bizarre sings, including ozher breathing humans," said Spy. "Of course, I am no psychologist, but I sink you should consider seeing one."
"Ha, normally I'd take a defensive stance whenever a Frenchman would consider me crazy, but in this case I can understand. I can assure you that I am quite sane, especially now that my contract with TF Industries is up."
"All of our contracts have been up for almost two years nah," said Engineer. "And yet, you seem ta have been the only one ta have undergone a huge change in temperament."
"Hey, I think being out here in the wilderness has changed me, for the better and for the worse," said Soldier. "I'm sure you can attest to the fact that being alone in nature changes a man's outlook in life, Sniper."
"It sure can," said Sniper. Being alone in the outback for sometimes months were what Sniper considered his darkest days. He didn't have Spy to cuddle with.
"Ah see," said Engineer. "There's usually someone else involved in these kahnd of things, but Ah'll be willing ta investigate whatever is happening."
"Thanks, Engie," said Soldier.
It was finally Sniper's turn to say his famous catchphrase. "Let's split up, gang. Me and Spy'll explore the upper floor. Engineer and Pyro, you explore this floor with Soldier."
Oh please, thought Engineer.
"No," said Pyro.
"Looks like someone is hesitant," said Sniper.
"Would you do it for a lollipop?" said Spy, pulling a giant lollipop out of the back of his suit.
"Reah!" exclaimed Pyro. He happily grabbed the lollipop and just held it. It's not like there was any way he could eat it with a gas mask on.
"See ya gois later," said Sniper. Spy snickered.
"Those two seem to know what to do in these situations quite well," said Soldier.
"Yeah, sure," said Engineer, slightly shaking his head.
Scout returned from the bathroom, the cornea of his eyes bloodshot and the pupils dilated. His clothes were also drenched with water.
"What took you so long?" asked Soldier. "Did you take a shower?"
"No, he had a steaming session, right?" said Engineer.
"Yep," said Scout. "I feel like really good right now."
"That's great," said Engineer. "Nah ya have ta help us find clues for Merasmus."
"Wait, where's Sniper and Spy?" said Scout.
"Oh, they told us to split up. You're going to be with us here on this floor," said Soldier.
"They did what?" Scout's eyes turned back to normal and his face started to show signs of irritation.
"Are you okay?" asked Soldier. Engineer knew what was coming next.
"No, I am not okay!" said Scout. "It's the same thing every time! We wait so long in the back of his very small van to get to our destination. Once we arrive, we hear some bullshit story, then Sniper tells us to split up so he can go screw Spy somewhere."
"Are you serious?" asked Soldier.
"Yes, and now my buzz is killed. I'll be going back to the bathroom now," said Scout.
"No, ya won't be," said Engineer.
"If I don't, I won't see the visual hallucination of whatever the fuck I'm supposed to see this time. And if I don't see the visual hallucination of whatever the fuck I'm supposed to see this time, we could be stuck here for a very long time." Scout headed for the bathroom.
"There's no need for you to steam this time," said Engineer.
"All right," said Scout.
"Steam?" said Soldier, confused.. "And is Sniper and Spy really screwing on the second floor right now?"
"Look, ya must not impede the absurdity here," said Engineer. "For some reason, this has proven ta be a fail-proof method of investigating. Seriously, we solve every case we're ever given. Ah think we have a better track record than Sherlock Holmes, yet none of us are even close ta having the same incisive deduction skills as him."
"Uh, okay," said Soldier. "And do I want to know what Scout is doing in my bathroom?"
"Ah don't know. Let's just say it's not legal, all raht?"
"I don't like the sound of that, but if it helps you guys, then so be it."
Scout came back to the den with bloodshot eyes. "Sorry, but I'm really hungry now." He looked to the lollipop Pyro was holding. "Pyro, mind if you share?"
"Here you go, Rout," said Pyro.
"No, that's not a lollipop," said Engineer, grabbing the object away. "Ah don't know how many tahmz Ah have to tell you guys this, but this is Spah's fancy French ass waxer." Engineer threw the thing into the fireplace. A horrible stench of burnt hair and something else indescribable filled the air.
Soldier started laughing. "You're like the mother of the gang, Engie!"
"Ah very well could be," said Engineer. "Ah'm quite hungry mahself, anyway." He and Soldier followed Scout and Pyro into the kitchen.
The kitchen was quite small, but Soldier managed to keep it clean. There were two large freezers on one end for Soldier to store the game he hunts. The refrigerator was adjacent to the two freezers. Scout opened the refrigerator, which was full of nothing but bologna sandwiches and cheap American lager.
"Damn, I have a very bad case of the munchies," said Scout. "I could eat all of these sandwiches myself."
"I'm hungry too," said Pyro, although he cannot be a voracious eater like Scooby due to the gas mask. Oh well.
"You two help yourselves to as many sandwiches you want," said Soldier. "Just hand Engie and me one."
Scout threw two sandwiches to Soldier. He also gave one to Pyro to play with. Scout started eating the other sandwiches like there was no tomorrow. He didn't even chew the sandwiches; he just put them in his mouth and swallowed. Out of nowhere, that stupid laugh-track started playing.
"What the hell is that?" asked Soldier.
"Oh, these random people always laugh whenever Scout or Pahro goof around," said Engineer. "Again, just go with the flow. We don't want to create a supernatural paradox."
"I guess not. That sounds very ominous," said Soldier.
Scout managed to eat every last sandwich in the refrigerator. He was also thirsty, so he put his head under the sink's facet and ran water directly into his mouth. The laugh-track ran once more.
"Fahnally, we're done with the mandatory moronic comic relief," said Engineer.
"This was comic relief?" asked Soldier.
"Ah really have no idea, but Ah don't know what else to call it," said Engineer. "Now tha-" Engineer tripped over a nail sticking out of the wall in the hallway. "God dang it, mah gahgles. I've lost mah gahgles. Ah can't see anything without mah gahgles."
Scout started to laugh. "Pyro, it's this again." Scout opened up the first door of the hallway. "Hey Engie, it's over here."
"No, you're lying," said Engineer. "Ah haven't forgotten what happened the last time you told me they were close ta you."
Scout whispered into Soldier's ear, "tell him that his goggles are there."
Soldier was about to ask why, but then he remembered what Engineer said about not impeding the absurdity. "Engie, they really are over here. You can trust me."
"Ah know Ah can," said Engineer, walking to the door. "Thanks pardner. You're a true-" The door was to the stairs that led to the cellar. Engineer tripped and fell down the stairs. Fortunately he always worse his construction helmet, so he didn't suffer any serious injuries except for a severe fractured left arm.
Scout and Pyro were laughing hysterically. "Good job, Soldier," said Scout.
"That wasn't funny," said Soldier. "He could seriously be injured."
"Please, he'll be fine," said Scout. "Now show us around the rest of this place."
"You're not gonna check to see if he's okay."
Scout closed the door. " . He'll be fine, like I said. Just trust me."
"Dammit, dammit, dammit," said Engineer, trying to stand up with his robotic arm. The cellar's lights weren't on, thus Engineer stood in complete darkness. He didn't notice he was standing right in the middle of a pentagram. On each side of the star's angle was placed a deer skull. In between them were unlit candles of various colors.
Engineer moved around slowly until his foot hit the first step going back up to the first floor. "Found it," he said with a slight sense of triumph. He walked up steps, but the staircase turned into a slide and the railing to his side lowered. He fell back down onto the hard concrete floor of the cellar.
"Son of a bitch," said Engineer. "Ah guess Ah can't go back up that way." He felt around the walls of the cellar, his robotic arm holding up his left hand which fortunately had not lost its sense of touch. He eventually felt a bookcase. He noticed that the bookshelves were mostly empty except until his hand reached one on the bottom one. He grabbed it and the around the bookcase revolved. Engineer wasn't surprised, as this has happened to him quite a few times.
The old object placement to reveal a hidden place, huh? How cliché, thought Engineer.
The area Engineer found himself in was dimly illuminated by a flickering light bulb. Not that it mattered much, since he still couldn't see.
"Someone is here," said a faint voice in the distance. "Who is it?"
"Engineer!" said Heavy. "Vhat are you doing here? You must leave now!" He and Medic had their backs to the wall and their arms were bonded by shackles from the ceiling.
"Heavy and Medic?" said Engineer. "Ah could ask you two the same thing. What are ya doing in Soldier's basement?"
"Vhat?" said Medic, surprised. "We are in Herr Jane's basement?"
"I thought we vere in Merasmus's dungeon," said Heavy.
"Nope, this is definitely Soldier's basement," said Engineer. "A few of the other old mercs and Ah were called by Soldier to investigate his problem with Merasmus."
"I have trouble believing you," said Heavy. "How do ve know you are not Merasmus in disguise?"
"How can I prove to you guys that I'm not him?"
"Vell, you can free us from zhese chains," said Medic.
"All right, but you guys are gonna haffta direct me towards the keys. Ah can't see anything because Ah lost my glasses."
"Come over here," said Medic. The Engineer walked towards his voice. "Mein Gott!, vhat zhe hell have you done to your arm?"
"Doc, Ah appreciate your concern, but Ah don't think now is the time to worry about that. Ah fell down the stairs, anyway."
"Oh, dat is bad!" exclaimed Heavy.
"Zhat must have been painful," said Medic. "And I called you over hear to give you my glasses. Zhey are in my coat pocket. My vision is not nearly as bad as yours, as I remember."
"Thanks Doc," said Engineer. He placed the glasses on his head and his vision improved a bit, but they weren't perfect like his glasses. He was able to see that Medic and Heavy had grown beards. "Exactly how long have you two been here in this dump?"
"I am guessing only about a month," said Medic. "You have to remember tzhat ve vere all induced vis Australium vhen ve vorked for TF industries. One main side-effect of zhe element vas faster growing hair. It is vhy many Australians have mustaches."
"Oh, right," said Engineer. "Ah guess Ah wouldn't know since I always shave." Engineer rubbed the area around his mouth. "Right, so where are the keys?"
"Dey are right next to door," said Heavy. "See?" His eye contact shifted towards it.
Engineer got the keys and unlocked the shackles bind Medic and Heavy. "Ah hope this now means you can trust me," said Engineer.
"Zhere is not much we know," said Medic. "I was kidnapped one day, and zhen zhe next thing I knew I vas placed here vis Heavy."
"Da, dat is all I remember too," said Heavy. "Merasmus comes here sometimes to feed us. Dat is all ve know about him..
"How did you get in here anyvay?" said Medic to Engineer. "I do not remember hearing zhe door open."
"Ah think Ah entered this place from the bookcase over there," said Engineer, pointing with his right hand. "It revolves."
"Should ve check it?" said Heavy.
"No, the area there had nothing, and the stairs that led back up to the main floor have inexplicably turned into a slide," said Engineer. "Let's just get out of here."
Soldier, Scout and Pyro were searching through the eight rooms in the hallway. In one room, there was plaster falling from its ceiling and a muffled sound of screeching and groaning.
"Oh my God! Merasmus is coming!" Soldier ran out of the room as Scout entered it.
"Like, what's his deal?" said Scout, not bothered by the sounds that scared Soldier.
"I don't know Rout," said Pyro.
Scout realized what was causing the noise. "It's just Sniper and Spy having sex upstairs. We need to, like, find a way to tell them to keep it down up there." Scout found a walking cane in one corner of the room. He held the came up and started banging the ceiling. "Like, you two need to keep it down! You guys scared Soldier!" Scout kept banging the ceiling, but the screeching and groaning was unrelenting. The banging of the ceiling eventually caused one of the foots of the bed frame to crack through the ceiling. "Zoinks, the ceiling is collapsing! I don't want to see them doing the nasty. Let's get out of here!"
Scout's panicking triggered his hallucinations. When he and Pyro left the room, he bumped into someone. "Zoink, it's Merasmus! Run Pyro! And play the cheesy chase music!" And so the cheesy chase music started to play, and Pyro, Scout, and Merasmus ran into and out of the nine doors of the hallway. Only Scout could see the hallucination of Merasmus. Pyro was just playing along with him.
Soldier noticed the music playing, so he came back to the hallway. He had no idea what Pyro and Scout were doing, so he just stood at one end of the hallway watching them play with the doors. He also starting dancing the Macarena, which hadn't existed at the time.
Eventually, the hallucination of Merasmus left the hallway and ran upstairs. Instead of being glad that the apparition was no longer pursuing him, Scout had a sudden change of disposition and ran after it.
"Where did he go?" said Scout.
A door opened and Merasmus was revealed. "Where is Soldier? That bitch's rent is due." He walked towards Scout, but another door opened and hit Merasmus squarely in his face. It was Sniper and Spy, both smoking cigarettes.
"How exhilarating," said Spy. "I never sought zhe sensation of falling srough a ceiling would be so satisfying."
"You wanna troi it again some time? We'll be here for awhile," said Sniper.
"Absolutely."
"You guys, thanks for stopping Merasmus," said Scout.
"What?" said Spy. He closed the door. "Oh."
Scout and Sniper carried the unconscious body of Merasmus down to the den.
"We did it," said Scout. What he was about to say next was interrupted by knocking coming from the front door.
"I'll get that," said Soldier. A few moments later, he came back with Engineer, Medic, Heavy, and Demoman.
"Wassup, mah niggas?" said Demoman. Everyone gave him a strange look. "What, I'm the token black policeman with a short cameo appearance, so I might as well play more into the stereotype. Racist ass motherfuckers." Demoman frowned.
"Who called for you?" said Scout.
"Soldier did, just as soon as he thought he heard Merasmus," said Demoman.
"And what are you two doing here?" said Soldier to Medic and Heavy.
"Ve vere trapped in your basement," said Medic.
"Never mind dat," said Heavy. "Ve must see who is Merasmus."
And now the boring part everyone had been waiting for; the revelation of Merasmus. Soldier pulled off Merasmus's mask.
"Bidwell!" everyone exclaimed in unison.
"So, what are you trying to scam us into buying this time?" said Soldier.
"But it couldn't have been him," said Spy. He pulled of the mask of Bidwell.
"Saxton Hale!" everyone exclaimed in unison.
"Sorry, mate, I ain't interest in yer hot anal sex anymore," said Sniper, who then pulled the mask of Saxton Hale off.
"The Administrator!" everyone exclaimed in unison.
"So, you're trying to coerce us into signing another contract?" said Engineer, who then pulled the mask of the Administrator off.
"Gordon Freeman!" everyone exclaimed in unison.
"Now, this is getting ridiculous," said Scout, who then pulled the mask of Gordon Freeman off.
"Miss Pauling!" everyone exclaimed in unison.
"Just as I suspected," said Engineer.
"Zoinks," said Scout.
"Yes, I did it!" said Miss Pauling. "I wanted to have you all trapped here in this basement, so my fantasies could come to reality."
"But why?" said Spy.
"I'm a lonely, creepy girl," said Miss Pauling. "And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling faggots and whatever-the-fuck Pyro is supposed to be."
The whole thing was actually part of a much larger scheme, concocted by Soldier. Soldier, being an expert at the American way of capitalism, was making tons of money selling haunted real estate. He was going to sell the mountain villa making the claim that a crazy Satanic woman used to live there. Unfortunately, that would never happen.
"Jeepers, it's the creeper!" said Spy. Only the creeper wasn't the Scooby-Doo one. No, it was a charged one from Minecraft. It exploded, killing everyone.
The value of the mountain villa plummeted. It was the worst investment Soldier ever made in his life. If he knew it would have resulted in such a fiasco, he would have just bought that Rolls Royce he always wanted.
I guess the loss of ten human lives was quite sad, but the real lesson to be learned here is to realize that investing in real estate can be very risky and that greed is a terrible thing. Yep.
