Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters/places/anything mentioned from Wolf's Rain and everything belongs to its respective owners.
Divide
Toboe had finished eating a long time ago. After the initial shock had dissipated, he was finally able to think. The walrus's carcass, or the little of what was left, sat nearby. His hair, which had been soaked a few hours ago, was now finishing drying. The scent of blood still filled the air, and then again, he kept thinking over what had happened to make him feel this way.
Somehow, in some way, he felt different now than before he had attacked the walrus. No, maybe it was even a bit after that. It was almost as if there had been a barrier, and he'd crossed over it once he had taken the first bite. Maybe it hadn't necessarily been attacking the walrus, but the few moments after that had changed him.
He had been the first to eat, and he was the first to finish. Kiba and Tsume followed suit afterwards, but Hige was still eating what remained of the walrus.
"Are you ever going to be done, Porky?" Tsume's comment would have normally gotten a reaction out of him, but now he felt almost numb.
Toboe glanced over at the three other members of their pack from where he sat. He wasn't sure if they had noticed that he was a little further away from the carcass or not, but he didn't mind.
"It's not my fault you guys are going to waste food this valuable," Hige retorted as he took a breather from shoving the meat into his mouth.
Normally Toboe would have broken up any fights between the other members of their pack, but this was just a part of the playful jabs that were thrown at each other from time to time.
"That's what you say about all food," Tsume's words made Hige's mouth open for another defensive comment, but Kiba interrupted them.
"In a way, Hige's right. We should eat as much as we can for now; we don't know when we'll get our next meal. Even if there is a town up ahead, there's no guarantee we'll be able to find anything," the white wolf's words made Toboe think back to a previous town they had been in where the exact same predicament had happened. Even though there had been other residents, food was scarce, and the means of getting it weren't very pleasant.
Hige gave a laugh of triumph before resuming eating again. Toboe looked away from them and instead focused his gaze on the cracks in the ice. The younger wolf was starting to feel like that; despite the fact that the others now viewed him as being more equal, he felt distanced, like something had changed too much.
"Hey Toboe, aren't you going to eat?!" Hige's shout caused him to glance back over at the group. Apparently by the looks on the other wolves' faces, they had been talking to him, but his thoughts had caused him to not listen.
"I'm full, and besides, I don't think I could eat another bite even if I wanted to," he answered, half-mumbling as his gaze turned back to the ice.
Hige just shrugged and continued to eat, but Toboe knew what was coming. Kiba's posture had changed and Tsume's eyes had narrowed slightly, allowing him to know that they suspected something was up.
This isn't something they can help with though, he thought, pretending that he didn't notice a silent exchange going on between the other wolves.
The ice was drifting apart quickly once it had been cracked, following the movement of the freezing water away from the larger chunks of solid ice. He felt the distance growing wider between them, threatening to swallow him whole.
The one thing that stopped it, however, was the question of what was causing it. The feeling felt foreign and he didn't like it. He couldn't focus on the ice any longer; his thoughts would have made him sick with the interpretations from the water, so instead he stared down at his shoes, trying to imagine that he was in a field filled with nice smelling flowers.
Maybe even Lunar flowers; the thought and lingering memory of the smell made a small smile appear, but it didn't last for long. He heard footsteps coming closer to him, making him freeze up slightly.
"What's eating you, Runt?" Hige's voice made him turn slightly to look behind him. The others had gathered near him, ignoring the now-empty carcass.
"Nothing," Toboe shook his head and stood up, prepared to leave, "Are we going now?"
Despite his answer, no one seemed very satisfied. Toboe figured that walking might help him sort out his thoughts, that and the memory of the walrus being left behind could be a start.
Kiba nodded and turned towards the direction of the Keep, signaling for them to follow. He quickly did so, trying to erase any doubt that he wasn't fine. Hige seemed hesitant to leave the subject alone, but he followed as well. Tsume, for some odd reason, kept closer to Toboe than he thought was necessary.
"I'm fine, you know," he glanced over at the gray wolf as they ran, keeping pace with Kiba and Hige. He didn't want them to worry; they had to get into the Keep and rescue Cheza first, then they could sort out their problems while continuing on the road to Paradise.
"You saying that confirms that you're not," Tsume's reply made him look away and try to focus on something else again, but nothing seemed to divert his attention this time.
Surprisingly enough, Tsume didn't say anything after that or try to force the answer out of him, which was normal enough, but that didn't mean that he was done with the subject.
He's just waiting for a better time to bring it up, his thought made him slightly irritated, but he didn't want to remember any of it. The sick feeling went away when he concentrated on something else.
They came to the outside of the city hours later, giving Toboe time to forget. Hige somehow ended up finding another sewage entrance that would lead them into the city, but they would spend the night before entering any further.
The smell of the sewage tunnels wasn't too bad, but it did feel confining. Toboe still kept his distance a bit from the rest of the group, and he couldn't ignore the fact that Tsume was further back than usual as well.
For the first time since he had met the older wolf, Toboe didn't want to open up about anything. He just felt like he wanted to be left alone, which in turn made the strange feeling worse. There just was no end to it.
"What happened back there?" Tsume's curt question was probably loud enough for everyone to hear, but Toboe figured that Kiba and Hige were giving them time to talk.
"I told you; something just snapped," he answered briefly, hoping that it would satisfy the older wolf enough to leave him alone again.
The feeling of division was slowly creeping through him again, causing him to take a few steps to get further away. Unfortunately for the red wolf, Tsume wasn't going to let up that easily.
"That's not all there is to it," the gray wolf's statement was once again cutting closer to another line inside of him, causing him to have to take a few deep breaths to remain calm.
Toboe instead tried to remain silent, hoping that Tsume would get the hint that he didn't want to talk. Then again, whenever the gray wolf hadn't wanted him to do something, he still had persisted. Looks like that was coming back to bite him…
"Toboe," Tsume's footsteps stopped, making him stop as well. His name being said meant that it wasn't going to be dropped, which didn't make the feeling inside of him go away.
He saw Tsume's eyes flick towards the two other occupants of the group and they continued, leaving him alone with the older wolf. He figured that they wouldn't get lost since they would be able to follow the scent left behind, but he really didn't want to be having this conversation.
"What's bothering you?" The question made him look to the side. He bit his lip, not quite sure of how to answer.
"I'm not quite sure how to explain," even though his answer came out as a mumble, Tsume would be able to pick it up easily.
"That's never stopped you before."
Toboe gave a small laugh at the comment, knowing that his friend was right. That still didn't make it any easier though.
What do you really have to lose? A small voice inside of him questioned.
"I feel… different, I guess," he gave a small shrug, not quite sure what to call the feeling that was spreading through him. He fought against it, despite wanting to run the opposite direction.
"Since the walrus attacked?" he gave a nod at Tsume's question as the gray wolf prompted him to continue.
"I guess I just wasn't expecting it. Every other time something like this happened, it was accidental," his thoughts flew back to Granny and the incident with Leara's bird, which caused him to sit down a bit, "this felt different."
"You had a reason for attacking this time," Tsume's comment didn't make him feel any better; if anything, it only made him more confused.
"That's the thing, I know that. I know that I was doing it to defend everyone, but I feel like everything's changed. Like I've changed…" he trailed off, not sure of how to continue.
Tsume didn't answer for a while; he just let the silence continue. Toboe continued to stare a hole into the ground while wondering if they should catch up. As soon as he went to mention it, though, his friend answered.
"You're right, you have changed."
"Tsume…" he looked up at the older wolf, not wanting to hear what he had to say at the moment. Tsume cut him off with a stare.
"Don't. The thing is, you aren't the same as you were back in Freeze City. You've been changing this whole time," Tsume's words made his eyes widen. He blinked in surprise, realizing that what his friend had said was true.
I'm not the same as I was.
"We should catch up. Who knows what mess Porky's got himself into?" Tsume's attempt to cover up how awkward he felt made Toboe laugh. Tsume had never really been the best with comforting, but he did feel a lot better now.
"Hey Tsume, thanks," he said with a smile as he stood up. Tsume glanced back at him for a moment before replying.
"Let's get going, Runt."
Toboe laughed again at the nickname, not finding it as insulting as in the beginning. Maybe Tsume was right; he had been changing. The division between them faded until it was gone. Sometimes someone just had to help you see that change wasn't so bad in the first place.
Well, not quite sure what to say about this one. It's my first Wolf's Rain fanfiction (despite being a one-shot) and I wanted to test the waters a bit. I have some more ideas that I am working on (completely separate from this), but I wanted to see how you guys thought this was. Sorry if anyone is OOC (I'll take pointers on making them a bit better if you guys want for future fanfictions). Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!
-AnimeWolfGirl9