okay, this is just a short opening to the story, don't worry, the chapters will get longer. It's set in Nick's POV, I probably won't go into any one else's but who know...
Hope you like it!
warnings: eating disorders, self harm and possible sex or at least mentions of it.
I got back from a fun, but tiring trip to the beach. Me, my boyfriend and some guys from Dalton went for 3 days in the holiday, because we couldn't go home and we wanted to get out of Dalton for a while. We got very little sleep while there and spent all the days out, walking around, slashing water, burying each other and generally just having a lot of fun. I was completely shattered by the time I got into my dorm, so me and Jeff, (my boyfriend and roommate) went to bed, even though it was only 8:30pm
I woke up late the next day, just as Jeff was leaving to go to his dance lessons. He had a show fairly soon so he had to go to more lessons during the holiday than usual, so I had the place to myself. I changed into my jeans and a loose shirt and sat at my desk and attempted to do the maths homework that I'd been desperately avoiding. I got about 10 minutes in before I stopped. I told myself that it was purely because my phone was driving me crazy with its constant notification sounds, ignoring the fact that I didn't understand any on the work and was too tired to figure it out.
So instead I when on facebook to look though all the, many, picture I was tagged in from the trip. pretty much all of the pictures were of us in our shorts, soaking wet, from being pushed into the sea by one another, and covered in sand. I looked though them for a long time and I started realising now in shape all my friends were compared to me. I'd always been a little worried about my looks, but it didn't really effect me too much, but I just stared at this picture of me and Jeff. Jeff being so tall, thin and perfectly muscular. Then me standing next to him looking so… chuncky. Of course I would never admit this to anyone, but I was just so embarrassed. and now it's all over facebook for everyone to see.
Dear lord, I'm thinking like a 15 year old girl. I'm fine… right?
I sighed and went into the bathroom. I weighed myself and looked over myself in the mirror, focussing on all the fat I could lose. should lose.
It wouldn't hurt to lose a few pounds, right? Of course it wouldn't hurt, I'd happy and so will Jeff, he'd think I'm much hotter. perfect.
I hadn't really thought much about my body and the new diet that I'd planned, for the rest of the day. until now. I was at my desk again at a second attempt at home work, luckily it was English this time, which I've always loved... Jeff was all over me. usually I wouldn't mind, I'd love it, of course, who wouldn't want their sexy boyfriend to be trying to turn them on? but after that morning I just felt so self conscious as he cuddles me from behind and started kissing my neck.
"Hey gorgeous" yeah right. "what are you up too?"
"well I'm trying to do my English essay but someone's distracting me." I replied, trying not to seem too serious.
"oh come on, you love it. plus you have ages to do that work, just leave it for a bit and come snuggle." He said before returning to kiss my neck.
"I really want to get it done, J-Jeff. it has to be p-perfect." I stuttered as he started running he hands across my stomach.
He pouted and lets out a small whine but thankfully let go of me and when back to his bed, leaving me to my work.
This was going to be tough.