Blessed 1/1
Post season 4 AU story one parter, before Season 5 / This was actually written before season 5 so the story will reflect that.
Rating: Mild T
Disclaimer: I disclaim. OTH and its characters are the property of Mark Scwahn and all involved with the show. Song lyrics used are credited at the end of the story and are the property of their writers. I'm writing this all for fun.
The beginning part in italics would take place around season one, before Haley tutors Nathan, but let me make clear, it is not something that happened on the show. It's something I could just see as possibly happening and that would fit in with what we were shown on TV.
The next part, after italics, takes place later. I'll explain more at the end to not give too much away now.
There is one more flashback. It's entirely in italics and includes song lyrics too.
[]
He stood alone in a deserted gym, uncaring, unfeeling. Weeks ago they had held him on their shoulders. Tonight they left with downed faces. It was all his fault. He blamed him only for it…no way himself. It was HIS fault.
And HIS. Well no matter. He still had one agenda. One goal. One solitary care. He didn't need to bother with anything else. This had been his ambition since he was thirteen years old. Since that suck ass summer. Since it stopped mattering. Because nothing really mattered anyway. Nothing at all. Except… Yeah. That's all he cared about. Teaching this loser what a waste of a team member he was. Putting him back in his place. So what that he was his bastard brother? Huh? So what…damn. Didn't matter. He couldn't play for what it was worth anyway. What was Whitey thinking…stupidly giving him his position? Shit. Probably just some favor to that uncle of his…that uncle he barely knew. Didn't matter. Didn't care about it. And he didn't care how the bastard griped and whined about how he didn't have a father. Didn't have a father? Crap. What was the idiot complaining about, huh? Crying that he never had a dad…shoot…was he just plain stupid? Wanted HIS father? The one he grew up with? The one who made him shoot the damn ball until his knees were ready to give out? The one who made him go on those suck ass morning runs. The one who yelled and mocked him all the time. Damn…if he wasn't his…he'd gladly give him up. But he was HIS. His father. So bastard brother could forget about taking him away too. And his girlfriend. Oh…Pukeass wanted his girlfriend, right? Ah…yeah…forget that you loser. She was his girlfriend. Didn't matter that they broke up almost every day. Didn't matter that sometimes he just felt so bored with her that the sex was a relief. Didn't matter that they had absolutely nothing to talk about seventy five percent of the time. None of it mattered. Nothing but… And he owned this team. It was HIS. His father had fired that up in him since he was old enough to say Ravens. Yeah…Dear Old Dad had done that since the beginning. Made him only care about winning. Destroyed any smiles or fun. Didn't matter. Didn't care. He was going to beat him. Yeah…that was the game plan. Because that was ALL that mattered. He had it all planned out…how he'd play his last season well enough to get a scholarship. How he'd beat his dad's record. How he'd go on to play pro. And then…oh yeah…then finally. He'd beat him. He'd win him. He'd defeat him. He'd be the best. Go to Duke and…crap on his father. Crap on his mother who never cared enough to stay around. He'd leave them all…and be big, knock em' all out. He'd be number one. And he'd finally…BE FREE. Smiling with boredom, with no real desire or feeling, with emptiness, he grabbed the ball. Sunk it into the hole. Felt absolutely no joy from it. Only resentment that now it made it after the game was over. Would have won the game…if he hadn't had to spend the majority of the time keeping the ball away from the bastard. No way was he going to let him get the ball to the hole. NO way. This was HIS game. His alone. Pukeass didn't belong on the team. Didn't care that he was some half brother. Didn't matter. They would never get along. He had an agenda…and Pukeass just interfered with that. Didn't fit in. He grabbed the ball and slammed it to the basket, this time missing. It hit the backboard violently and started to bounce down to the ground, out of control. "Excuse me…OH!" He looked back at the voice, startled. And ran to catch the ball before it could hit the small girl standing there now, holding her hands in front of her face. As he caught it just in time he sighed with relief. Saw the girl stare at him for a moment. She was wearing a really weird looking hat that hid almost all of her hair. But he could see a few strands escaping the wide rounded brim. They reminded him of cinnamon. Her eyes were big…and brown. Widely open now…holding his blue eyes with something he couldn't describe. As his mouth hung open, without his knowing. Looking at it again, he smirked. "Nice hat." He waited for the girl to swoon. Expected it. For her to gush. All girls did. All girls that he wanted to go to bed with…went to bed with him. Let him do body shots. Cheered with their eyes on him. Pissed off Peyton sometimes, but he didn't really care. And right now…he knew this girl was seconds away from delighting in who he was. This really ordinary looking girl, dressed in plain faded jeans, a jacket and some jersey shirt. She looked normal enough, except for the fact she wore no makeup and was wearing…that hideous looking hat. It would be funny to watch her blush all over and then… "Nice shot…too bad you missed." His smirk flattened into a straight line. A frown. "Wow…you're funny." "Yeah…just don't compare me to a clown." He stared at her strangely now, hearing how her voice kept rambling on some. "Uh…forget it….long story that I don't feel like telling to someone like you." His eyes sharpened. She was not only kind of sarcastic and rambling, but also, seemed she didn't like him. And yet he had no idea who she was… Holding the ball in both his hands, he replied softly. "Uh…I don't even know your name." She shook her head at his words…like it didn't matter. That bothered him. The cool bored way he normally felt…seemed to be disappearing right now. She wasn't going to reply, wasn't going to say anything. And then she did…noncommittal words. "Right…uh anyway…I just came back to get something that my friend left." Strangely not sure of himself, he moved aside, watching as she reached the front bleacher, took a jacket from inside it. And then started to head out of the gym. Started to walk away. It made something in him panic suddenly. He didn't want her to go. Didn't want- "HEY!" It was risky. He watched the ball he had just thrown, sail past her. He had no intentions of hitting her, hadn't even aimed, just meant to get her attention. And it did. He took a step back now as she turned around, the expression on her face…surprised…and livid. Her words came out sarcastically though. "You know…that was nowhere near the basket." He nodded his head slowly, feeling this weird wanting…to remove that stupid hat. See what was underneath. "Yeah…I know." She laughed dryly. "Guess that's why you lost the game." He laughed in kind. "Ha…that was because that new loser team member we have. I could have won it with my eyes closed. But he sucks as point guard." He watched as she faced him. His hands itching to… "And you were so much better?" Quietly he nodded his head, wanting to keep her talking. "Yeah…I was the best. I AM." He watched as she shook her head with what looked like anger, upset. He heard it…the muttering under her breath. It was barely distinguishable, but undeniably there. "Yeah…maybe at basketball, but not at being human." "What was that?" He asked her now, moving forward. Closer to those big brown eyes, to that annoying hat he wanted to remove. To… "Hey…Hales…you okay in there?" The voice made him bristle. The bastard son. He watched her, saw her seem to panic some. "Yeah…hey…I'm coming now…" She called back to the voice that was somewhere outside of the gym, coming through a partially opened door. And then she was walking away again. He wanted to throw the ball again. Stop her. Move his fingers to that hat. Wanted to… "Hales!" "Coming!" But her walk turned into a run. Past him. Out the door. To… "Hey…what kept you so long?" He stood at the door, listening, watching. "Oh…I just couldn't find it. Anyway, here you go…let's get out of here." "All right Buddy…thanks…Pizza sound good?" "Yeah…" Swallowing tightly, he watched as they moved out of hearing distance, saw as HE put an arm around her shoulder. The bastard…and…the girl whose name he didn't even know. But now he wanted to find it out. He wanted… Crap. He took the ball and threw it to the basket, missed again. Never missed this much before. Before… He smirked ugly as he thought of it. Before he joined the team. He'd played so well always. But now… Ha ha… Now he had leverage. He'd ask Tim about them, about her, Find out more. And use it. To get what he wanted. She was just a girl anyway. So what she was kind of pretty? So what he really wanted to see what her hair looked like under that idiotic hat? So what…he kind of liked her voice. So what… Crap. One thing mattered. Only one thing. Winning. Getting out. Being free. Beating his dad. That was all. So he'd get Pukeass out of the way, get things back to how they were before. Get his girlfriend to be like she was before. Use whatever and whoever he had to. To get it. To win. Because nothing else mattered. NOTHING. He left the gym. Let the ball fall to the ground. Left. Empty. But he'd win. He wouldn't give up until he did. For he was Nathan Scott.
[]
"See?" See that? That's rain, James. Yeah…your first time seeing it…pretty cool, huh? The rain…" The man gently held the baby in his arms, his large hands easily able to get a grip, and yet painstakingly careful. He smiled down, seeing the tiny little face looking up at him with trust.
He closed his eyes. In awe at his life. At what he had. He wasn't that old of a man, and many would still call him a boy, but he was already eighteen. Had recently finished high school, was married, and holding his son in his arms. He felt very much like a man…and a boy still. Most the time. Except when he held the baby in his arms, like right now. Then, he felt like one thing, well maybe two. Husband…and Father.
He placed his fingers against the window, felt it, seeing the raindrops streaking the other side with their wetness. Talked more to his son. "See how it hits the window. But don't worry. You're all safe and dry in here. And you know what…it's not really all that bad getting wet in the rain anyway. It feels pretty good. It's cool, like old school hip hop. Much better than that boring classical stuff your mom tried to get you into…but that's between you and me. Don't tell her I said that." He laughed a little at the baby's wide blue eyed expression at his words. Swearing his son was understanding everything he was saying…swearing his son was going to be just as great an athlete as him, and be just as smart as his mom.
"Uh…we were talking about rain, right?" He laughed sheepishly. "Sorry. Your mom has always accused me of not being able to keep to the topic. Says I have too restless a mind. Anyway…"
He smiled contentedly, adjusting the listening baby in his arms a bit with ease. Looked out the window again at the falling rain, how it softly pattered against the windows. He liked to watch it. To stand in the rain. Make love in it.
Show his son it.
But a few years ago this peace had been alien to him. He had been an obnoxious bored careless high school student who only wanted to win. Who treated his girlfriend pretty awfully. Who tried to deny his half brother. Then, he had never stopped to stand in the rain and enjoy it. He had never stopped to do anything. Calmness was something he had yet to learn. He was so focused on just one thing that nothing made him smile, or happy. He was so cool on the outside, but completely superficial on the inside, a part of him just waiting to break free, but not knowing how to anymore. Directionless in a drive to succeed and beat everyone in the process.
It had all been that way until…
"Your Mom likes the rain too James. She gets all excited when it comes. You watch…she's going to run in here and be hopping around at the fact that it's the first time you're seeing it. She gets all excited about things like that too, your firsts. But you know me…I'm cool and calm about it all."
He smirked, seeing the baby now looking away from him and out the window. He focused on the outside too, recalling once more that time he hadn't been so at ease with things. It started way back, but it bulleted around the time his brother joined The Ravens, and took his position as point guard. He had complained then and whined that his brother, Lucas, stole his position from him. Later, he would realize it was probably the best thing. Lucas was born to play point guard. To have his back. And it allowed him to take more risks while learning too about when to realize it was time to play it safe, by putting in his game the fade away, a move Lucas taught him the benefits of.
In fact, by the time senior year had rounded out to its end, and sadly Lucas hadn't been able to play because of his heart condition, Nathan had felt strong enough to lead his team to victory. He had learned how to be a true team player, not just a go-for-the-solitary-win guy, but to work together in harmony…and of course, just have fun. He had learned that and more from his brother.
Whose name was a part of his son.
"Uncle Luke doesn't really get it. He still asks us why your mom and I like the rain so much and we just…uh..well…I guess this is more a conversation for when you get older. But you know how much you enjoy your Ravens Bear…well that's how much your mom and I enjoy the rain…uh…well maybe a little more. But Uncle Luke gets a lot of other things. And he'll do alright as an assistant coach."
Nathan spoke the last words a bit begrudgingly, but also with pride. Some of the most startling and disappointing news to take, had been when Lucas stopped playing with The Ravens because of his heart condition. He did get to come back for the last game, but still, both of them knew, their possible wishes of playing on the same team as men would never come to fruition. There was the saving grace though. Whitey had saved both of them, him and Lucas, by deciding to take on this little known team. It was a pretty good school, but the sports program pretty much…sucked. It was going to be an uphill battle all the way, but hey…so had been his time as a Raven. He was up for the challenge. Up for new things and maybe some changes, for taking what maybe didn't look so great now, and making it…great. And he knew Lucas was too.
"Yeah…he'll do alright. I think your mom's told you about it before, but she and Lucas were best friends even before I came around. I just made them more interesting…ha…"
He smiled as his son restlessly moved in his arms. Tenderly Nathan took one of his son's pudgy little hands and played with the fingers. It never failed to amaze him, that he and Haley had made this. Created this together. That this was what being a father was like.
His biggest fear had been…to be a father. Though he hadn't admitted it often. It had been the thing that scared him the most. When Haley had told him that she was pregnant, that moment he had felt so many mixed up emotions, anger, worry, excitement, confusion…all of it.
But that moment, that very moment when he first saw his son, saw him as a living human breathing being, it all faded away. Every emotion disappeared except the most surest one. Everything came together just like it had the day he joined hands with Haley, and together they became man and wife. He was a father…and it was the greatest gift from Heaven he could ever receive. As lame as that may sound, he didn't care. And he didn't think there was anything wrong with him always carrying around a picture of Little James Lucas Scott…ready to share it with anyone he met.
Haley would sometimes roll her eyes as he did it. "Hey…yeah…yeah I'm a father. In fact…let me show you…" "Oh boy…here it comes." "Shhhh…Hales…yeah here we go. This is my son. James Lucas Scott. He's the best looking baby around. And he's going to be an athlete…probably the next MJ!"
He'd always add that last part.
"But you can be anything you want James." He spoke modestly to the baby in his arms now. "You can do anything you feel like with your life and I'll always love you…always and forever…just like your Mom. I'm not going to make you into some carbon copy of me. You can do anything…anything James…"
His voice drifted off on those words. A few memories drifting into his mind, but he had a new perspective of them now, and they didn't cause the kind of pain they used to. It hadn't all worked out bad anyway. It was hard…having a father that you never saw. It wasn't easy, but it was a decision that he had made with his brother. To not go see his father. And with his wife…to not take their son to see him. Not that they could where he was now…jail was no place for James. And that father had made his own regretful decisions. He could have destroyed their family…if they had let him. None of them had.
Karen had a beautiful baby little girl too. She was nearly the same age as James. And the first time they had taken James to meet her it had been special. He could feel it, that Lilly and James would be close. They would have to be. Their families were close now. They had a link that was new and shiny. He and his brother had broken the mold.
Thank God.
That mold had been destined for spoiling. Family was so much more.
James arrival too had meant another good thing, a fragile bonding with his mom. Oh she was still what she was…a recovering drug addict. But now he saw it in her…she had new purpose. And she actually was very good at babysitting. Much better than he thought she would be. She was kind of starting over…and he was grateful to have a wife that embraced that and didn't run away.
He looked down to see his son's eyes on him again, attentive, watching. Nathan smiled and moved his lips against the boy's forehead.
A few years ago he had stood in a gym one night. He had been so angry at a failed game. And he had been so bored and restless. That night a girl walked into the gym and he nearly hit her with the ball. Some first meeting.
It had left a dark enough impression on her that when he asked her to tutor him days later, she had said no. Firmly and angrily. She hadn't brought up that night, but it hadn't mattered anyway….well not to her.
It had to him though.
"I came alive that night James. Oh…just a tiny part of me, but that part…your mom was really pretty. Even with that stupid hat on. And she didn't take no bull from me either. She was like one of the strongest and most interesting girls I ever met. And yet…we didn't really meet that night. We just kind of talked a tiny bit. Not even a conversation. I did learn though then that she hates clowns. Just like you…remember that stuffed clown that Aunt Taylor sent you…remember how you cried the first time you saw it and your mom threw it out the window…complaining that your aunt did it on purpose because she knows how much she hates clowns? Well anyway…that night I learned for the first time she didn't like them, and I never forgot."
It was dumb. His one goal then after seeing her. He had been too stubborn to admit that when he asked Tim about her, when he went to her for help, it had been a lot more than just wanting to get back at his brother. It had been because he was intrigued by her. Kind of secretly. Kind of something he wasn't even yet totally aware of. But a part of him had been aching for something giving for so long, for something to close up that hole inside of him that he tried to ignore. And that night…it started to possibly find what could patch it up.
She was in a few of his classes back then, but even that he hadn't really paid much attention to. His focus back then had been so narrow minded that it was almost by accident he found that he cared for Haley shortly after they started talking, that he liked having someone who actually listened to him, calmly, and yet at the same time didn't take any bluster.
Nathan looked out at the rain now as it started to slow down just a bit, but still it was wetting the windows. He had taken a chance back then. Even scared at times, he found that he couldn't let her go, even when he kept screwing up. He liked her…wanted her to like him. And so…
"I lay on the charm James. Uh…well sort of. I gave her that colorful bracelet that you always like to grab. I gave it to her and then…well everything started to change."
He started to live…really live, Nathan thought.
As now he could see a car coming up the long driveway of his parents home. He lived in it now with James, Haley, and his mom. It had been Haley's idea, to help his mom stay well after the drug abuse. It was things like that Haley did that made him just feel such awe about her, such thankfulness. It was like she barely had a selfish bone in her body. The one time she had been somewhat selfish had been to leave to tour. But he had been entirely selfish then too. After she came home…they had learned a lot.
"I learned I couldn't live without her. As much as I tried to fight it…I knew it was just temporary. I knew how much your mom meant to me. Nothing could ever change that." He whispered now to the baby and then rapidly lay him down in his crib. The person was coming out of the car, running to the front door.
He whipped it open and ushered her inside. "Hey…you don't even have an umbrella or anything!"
He watched as she shook her head, pulling down the hood of her jacket from her slightly wet cinnamon hair. "Well there was barely even a cloud in the sky when I left Nathan!"
She called back to him anxiously. He smiled and helped her pull the wet jacket off her body. "Hmmm…seems you could use some warming up."
He met her flirtatious grin, smiling more at the sexiness in her voice. "Oh yeah…"
He wrapped his arms around her slender figure and pulled her in for a warming kiss. But then…
"Oh my gosh!"
He laughed as she pulled away from him excitedly, ending the kiss abruptly. He knew it would be coming soon. So predictable. But then…he knew just about every inch of her…inside and out.
"Oh my gosh!" He faced her with amusement as she waved her arms excitedly. Haley was big on talking with her hands and wild arm gestures.
"Oh my gosh…Nathan…first time James gets to see rain! Speaking of…where's my baby…huh…where's my…"
He grinned as she skipped over to the crib and pulled the still wide awake little boy into her arms. From day one Haley had held their son with such expertise. Even though she had been the youngest one of her family…seemed she had learned a lot. She was a natural at being a mother…a very hot sexy one. Who said parenting made you get older? To him…it made you more appealing…and your wife sexier. Hah…
"There's my baby! There's my Little James! Look Honey…look…it's raining! See…this is your first time to look at it…it's raining Honey!"
Nathan thought he could tell her that he had already shown James the wetness outside, but seeing how lively Haley's face was now as she cuddled their son against her cheek, he passed on it. Let her think she had been the first one to show him. He didn't want to spoil that smile on her face.
"Your Daddy and I really love the rain…"
He smirked at her wink. Oh yeah…they loved it a lot. In fact now…
"Loook Nathan! Look at his face…look how happy he is to see the rain…oh you love it too James, don't you?"
Nathan looked out again, noticing….
He reached for his wife's hand and started to lead her to the door. No shock coming to him at all when he felt her pulling her hand back.
"Nathan…what are you doing?"
Nathan smiled and touched his wife's cheek. "Let's show him the rain. Really show it to him."
Seeing she understood, Nathan also saw how clearly she disapproved.
"What? Nathan, no! He's still a baby…we can't just take him out in the rain."
Nathan smiled now reassuringly. "We're not Hales…just giving him a taste of it. We'll come back inside fast. Let's just let him experience one tiny bit of it." Seeing that she was a tiny bit more agreeable now, though still extremely wary, Nathan tugged on Haley's hand and opened the door. Then making sure a warm blanket was wrapped around their son, all three of them stood on the porch, under the solid cover of the front patio. Little James not in any danger of getting wet.
Together they stood under the covering, just looking out at the falling raindrops…together.
Nathan thought about it…the first time he had been in the rain with Haley. It had been after a fight that to him lasted too long before it was fixed. Tired and unhappy at her not talking to him, Nathan had waited outside her house in the rain. Not caring that he was getting wet. Just needing to see her and needing to hear that she wasn't mad at him anymore. And nothing else mattered. He knew by then the true meaning of those words. Knew that they were not about winning some stupid battle, but about having someone love you. Knew it enough to let his body get soaked. It had taken a bit of groveling and charming, but not too long to see her finally forgiving him. To kiss her…
For the first time…
In the rain.
And something happened. He was new then. They…were new. Kissing her, feeling the wetness falling down on them, it just had felt so right and so much a beginning…
It was like renewal. The rain usually signaled new seasons or the ending of an old one. It brought in something fresh. It cleaned everything up. It soothed and revitalized.
It made him feel romantic and happy. Moving forward, he wrapped his arms now around his wife from behind, his hands stopping at where she held their son in his arms. His fingers touching her and their son. Half closing his eyes and holding both close, he whispered peacefully…
"Love this….love you."
Peace. That was what he had now. Finally and so fully. It was so great to be able to just stand out here on the porch and relax with his wife and his son. Not a care in the world really. He had everything he needed.
Strange…when he had so little of what he first believed he wanted.
He heard her sigh and push back against him some. Felt the warmth of her back against his chest. "Mmm…same."
He held on just a bit tighter, but with contented arms. He felt so lucky to have so much in life. To have the two of them, along with so much more.
He stood out there with the two of them until Haley gently showed him something. Their son had peacefully fallen asleep. Feeling safe with his Mommy and Daddy, the rain his lullabye.
Nathan smiled at it warmly. He could remember one of the first times he heard Haley sing him one. That day he had walked in after a day at the factory. It was dirty work, but he was still doing it for now, gave them money before they started school in the fall. And Skillz dad was really cool. He had invited them once for a barbecue and it was a lot of fun.
Anyway, that day he had come home tired and needing a shower.
He knew when he
walked in the door Haley would have it ready for him, his towel and
some clean clothes laid out. She kindly did that for him always after
a day of work. He appreciated it and liked that now she could stay
home more. For years Haley had worked at the café and she still
helped out from time to time, but now with him really working at a
job, it gave her more time too to just stay home with James. And so
like many nights after work he found her there with their son. She
was sitting in an old rocking chair they dug up out of the garage
when they had readied James room before his arrival. He walked in
quietly, hearing her soft serenade to their boy. "Here
comes the sun...
Little darling…
Here
comes the sun…
Doo doo doo doo
And
I say it's alright
Little darling…" It
was another one of those Beatles numbers that she loved, and its
soothing melodies were the perfect song between mother and child.
That had been enough to warm his heart, but then as he walked in and
saw what was going on…well. It was such an intimate moment. A
private one that as her husband and the father of their child, he was
privileged to see. His wife breastfeeding
their son. He stood there for he didn't even know how long, watching
it all. Seeing the bond so strong between Haley and James. Seeing how
she gave of herself. How they were connected. How he needed her. And
how she was there for him. And he couldn't
help it. Even though he had seen it before, this night it did
something to him. The sight brought tears to his eyes. Still
he said nothing at all. Just wondered what had made him such a lucky
guy to be able to experience a moment like this. To have so much. To…
And then she spoke, noticing him.
"Nathan…oh are you okay? Did something
happen at work?" He hadn't even known he
was crying until he saw the distress in her face, the worry and how
she seemed helpless in what to do because she was still feeding their
son. Quickly he walked over to her, kneeled down to be at the same
level and reassured her by putting his hands out. "No…no Baby.
Nothing like that. I just came home and…" All
the poetic strong words escaped him. They always did and he normally
ended up just saying the most brutal honesties. And yet he knew Haley
loved that about him. "God you're
beautiful." That brought her smile. He
felt her carefully bring herself up a bit more without disturbing
their son. He moved in more to help her and felt her kiss on his
cheek…on his lips. Her fingers touching his face. "Why are you
crying then?" He shook his head. Not
sure what to say. Not sure… "Honestly, I didn't even know I
was. I just…" It came out of him then. In a few more tears, as
healing as the rains they loved. "I didn't…really. I just…oh
man. You know where I was a few years ago? You know what I cared
about? What I didn't care about? And now I have a wife…I have a
son. I have…" He broke then, happily
and bittersweetly. Careful to not bother his son, he gently kissed
the top of their baby's head and then leaned against Haley's
shoulder. Unable to say anymore, he just breathed her in, breathed in
the incredible life he had, and felt it all. The pain he had endured
growing up. The loneliness. The decision he made with his brother to
extricate themselves from the father who had never been able to learn
the true meaning of love. The joy he had at having a partner in life
who understood him more than any human being who walked the earth.
The brother who he had learned to be friends with and who he would
never forsake. And his son, who he cherished and would protect for
eternity. He had it all…he realized so
entirely then…and all he could do was cry. But
not with sadness. No…with joy. It
reminded him of another Beatles song Haley had once sung to him. The
final words… "And in the end…
The
love you take…
Is equal to…
The
love you make…" Yeah…that was it. By
giving of himself finally…he had so gratefully received so much.
He could hear all the gifts he was so lucky
to have in her voice as she comforted him lovingly… "I
love you Nathan…I love you…"
Now though as he felt Haley pushing back at him a little he didn't cry. They walked back inside the house quietly and laid down their son in his crib. And then Nathan reached for Haley's hand and opened the back door to the porch of the backyard. Smiling at her, he moved away from the covering and brought her forward with him.
He watched with happiness as she lifted her face to the drops. It was warm outside, one reason he had been able to convince her to allow James out in it for a bit, under the covering of course. Now though, both of them stood out in the open, letting it wet their clothes. A refreshing spring rain before summer grew to its total strength. He watched her spin, wet and glowing, and then brought her back against him, tangling his fingers in her damp hair.
"I love it when it rains!"
She called out to him and he laughed, tipping up her chin. "I know…me too Baby."
He pulled her against him again, kissed her strongly, solidly, and felt her lips answering, damp with the rain and warmed by their passion. No one else was inside the house. His mother was visiting Karen and wouldn't be back for a while. The yard was surrounded by high fences and tall trees. And the grass was soft like a bed.
Kissing again and again, he brought her down with him to the ground. Touching and caressing…
Whispering it into her ear.
"Let's make love in the rain Haley…"
And hearing her ardent answer.
"Yes…"
[]
When he woke up the sun was beginning to shine through their window. They had taken the rain lovemaking to inside last night. And then about one hour after they started to sleep, their son woke them up with his loud timely crying. Nathan had gone to get him this time. Sometimes it was him. Sometimes it was Haley. They just equally took turns and it mostly depended upon who was the most tired. When they both were exhausted they whined at first sometimes and then grabbed a coin and tossed it. Archaic method, but it was fast at least.
It hadn't taken too long last night though. Sometimes James went right to sleep peacefully. Other times he cried a lot and demanded attention. It seemed he had parts of both of them in him, sometimes his mom's independence, sometimes his dad's stubbornness. But this night it had been fast and Nathan guessed he was feeling his mom more…ha. While putting him to sleep Haley had shown him finally the results of her shopping excursion. Two…what she called "adorable little new outfits!" Nathan laughed at her excitement until she reminded him how many basketball jerseys, basketballs, baseball jerseys, baseballs he had gotten, and about that plastic hoop he had bought his son, since he had been born. That teasing made him quiet. Sure…he had bought a lot and James was barely over a month, but uh, hey…good to be prepared.
Now Nathan opened his eyes feeling happy and renewed after that rain. He looked over across the way and saw the room that had their son in it. Sometimes they brought the crib into their room. Sometimes he brought James to sleep with them. But now James slept in his own room and the baby monitor by the bed, plus the room being just across the hallway, gave the reassuring answer that all was fine. It was sometimes strange being a parent, the first thought from wakefulness being about his child, but he had adjusted to it easily. And didn't consider it a burden at all. Haley had always been his first care before. And she still was. But now it was equally James.
Seeing and hearing that all was well, he turned to his sleeping wife and wrapped his arms around her. She was wearing just one of his old T shirts and she was nice to snuggle against. "Mmmm…" He murmured quietly not wanting to wake her before she was ready. And then closing his eyes he snoozed back to a bit of rest too. Not a deep sleep, but more like a catnap, ready to get up when everyone else was, and warm and happy to be wrapped around his wife.
[]
It was maybe an hour later or so when he heard some excitement coming from the room across the hallway. Just a bit of gurgling and stuff but it was enough. He watched as it almost immediately brought Haley out of her sleep. He pulled back on her. "I'll go."
"Hmmm…" She murmured and sat up pretty quickly, planting a kiss on his lips. "G'morning Daddy. No…I'll go. You stay."
She pushed away from him then and he could hear it as she reached the room, her excited voice rising to greet their son.
"G'morning James! G'morning Baby!"
He smiled contentedly and moved out of the covers of the bed. Seeing Haley coming back to the room now with their son in tow he reached up and greeted his son too. "Hey James…Good morning Son." Caringly he touched his son's face and gave him a baby hug. And then he turned to the bed. Hearing Haley walking out of the room and going back to James' room, Nathan started to make the bed. Okay, he wasn't great at it. And it was something he had only recently started to do when Haley was busy with James, but being a father now and seeing how much time James could take, he liked to help out when he could.
It really wasn't until their son actually made his first appearance he felt a change in himself. Well maybe not change, but definitely, growth. He knew now what it was like to have family. Family that he was supposed to be the guiding force of. Now he had two people to look out for always, and that meant new responsibilities, but he accepted and embraced each one most the time with happiness.
Only groaned when it was time to do things like change a really really really dirty diaper, or take out the trash.
Finishing the bed now, Nathan stopped at a picture on the wall. He studied it for a minute and then walked into his son's room, seeing Haley beginning to change James, using all her high tone and silly words that seemed to always make James happy and excited as he waved his arms and legs around. Just like his mom…and dad.
"Hey…get James ready to go out Hales."
"What…why?" He heard her ask distractedly as she pushed away the old diaper and readied the new one.
Nathan ignored the question, coming behind her and making silly faces which made James face light up even more. Their baby was one happy baby…no doubt about it.
"And call Lucas too. The four of us have something to do."
He squeezed his wife's waist and walked out of the room with a touch of excitement. Hearing her call back to him…
"What? What four? Nathan…what are you talking about?"
[]
About a few hours later as noon was just on the brink, they were all there now. The four of them. Nathan smiled at it and asked his brother the question.
"She hasn't seen it yet either, has she Luke?"
He saw Lucas looking at him with a bit of bemusement before he shook his head. "No…and what are we doing Nathan? My mom was a little anxious about where I'd be taking Lilly."
Nathan smiled, seeing his wife holding their son, and his brother holding his sister. Almost like his sister too.
He partly ignored the question, catching how Lucas and Haley were looking at each other questioningly. And then raised his hands, saying it with feeling. "This is it…where it all began. I just wanted them to see it. I mean we came back here and played…all of us. But James and Lilly haven't ever been here."
He watched as it registered in Lucas and Haley's mind, saw them start to look around with wonder now. And looking down he saw the two babies…their eyes wide open, both of them in tune to it.
Both of them looking at it for the first time.
Feeling the breeze cool and easy, Nathan looked to see the river's waters shining and bright. The waves just gently lapping against each other. In the far background was the town and some of the buildings of the town. Red and gray, browns mixed in too. And right here…right where they were, two simple basketball backboards, one set of rusted bleachers, a few picnic tables whose painted wood was pealing off in bits, dried grasses, and plain barrel garbage cans. And here…under their feet, black tarred surface with faded boundary lines.
"This is where I really met you Luke. For the first time…and I know it wasn't all that friendly then, but…this is also where I learned why I love to play. Remember? Because it's fun?"
He watched his brother nod his head with a smile, memories probably there for him too. "Yeah…" And Lucas he started to talk his sister. "Yeah…see Lilly, this is where your sort of brother (they had yet to totally understand the exact family connection…way too confusing) and I started playing and fighting and…had our first game."
Nathan smiled and looked down at his son as Haley held him in her arms. "Yeah James…your Uncle Luke was really kind of lame then and had weird hair, but at least he could play decently."
Nathan caught Lucas's squint and grumbling. "Hah…look who's talking about weird hair."
Haley shrugged and teased her husband jokingly. "I keep asking him to cut it."
Nathan complained. "Hey…I'm just trying out something new."
So what his hair for the past months had been a lot longer than it had been in the past…it looked good. Well…for now anyway. Tomorrow he might decide to buzz it again. Who knows?
Nathan reached forward now and looked to Luke. He felt it as his brother shifted the weight of Lily to his arms. Cradling her, Nathan turned around in a slow circle. "See this Lilly…this was your brother's place at first. I joke around a lot, but your brother is a really cool guy. He's my best friend."
Nathan kept showing her everything for a bit and then walked back to Lucas, handing her Lilly. He could see the emotion in Haley's eyes, feel it building up in him. But he tried to not let it get too heavy.
And then he reached for James, carefully took him away from Haley and did the same thing he had done with Lilly. "And James…I want you to know this place just as well as you already know Lilly. I want it to be a part of you too." Nathan could feel it, the emotions getting stronger, under the quiet sun, the now refreshed blue skies from the rain of the past day. All the newness in a place that held nothing of artificial riches. It didn't need to.
A few years ago he had believed that life was about one thing…getting out and being free of what was making him unhappy. Life was about winning.
Now he had such a different belief.
And yet in ways…what he had believed had come true. Both he and Lucas were finally free of the father they had that didn't know how to love. They could hold onto the real moments, as few as they were, but now they could leave in the past, in the washed up rains, the hurt and the pain. There were two new miraculous lives in the Scott family. And Nathan knew now he had won so much more than he had ever believed he was capable of winning.
He had such a rich life and family that surrounded him. He had this place, this rivercourt. This simple place. He, the boy who grew up with a deluxe home court, didn't care so much about that court. Didn't feel for that court…the way he did for this one.
This place he now shared with not just his brother, his wife, but also…Lilly and James.
"I love you guys."
He muttered it now quietly, feeling a bit overly sentimental and kind of like a dork, but that was okay…when it was with people who loved you back.
He felt Haley hug him, felt his brother hug him. And then watched as Lucas walked with Haley back to the benches. Nathan watched his wife sit down and then Lucas transfer Lilly too to her other arm. Nathan watched with an amused smile as Haley successfully held both in her arms, smiled at them, and gestured Lucas with a wave of her hand to get on that court.
"Come on you two! Lilly, James and I are waiting for our show!"
Nathan ran back to get the ball he had planted on the ground when they first got there, and moved toward Lucas. One on one. Just like in the beginning. They had come back here to do it again.
First for friends.
Now for family.
He could hear as Haley started to call out the game to the two newest little Scott family members. "Okay you guys…Daddy, Uncle Nathan, goes in for a shot…ah he makes it…but look…there goes Brother Lucas and Uncle Lucas or Brother Lucas again…we never figured that one out…for a fadeaback…yay!"
They both called it out to her with a chuckle at the same time. Nathan was instantly reminded of that first tutoring session when Haley told him not to try to impress her with his touchdowns…not realizing that touchdowns happened in football, not basketball.
"It's fadeaway Hales!"
He could see her wrinkle her nose at their correction.
"Ah…whatever! You two be quiet! I get to do the cheering however I want! Besides…I think I proved how good I am with that shot I made the last time we were here!"
Lucas laughed at the reminder of that boys versus girls game. "She's got us there Nate." Nathan could only nod his head in agreement as Haley continued…
"Okay…here we go…Daddy and Uncle Nathan…now getting the stone…oops ROCK to the bag…Whooohooo!"
Both of them laughed at her mixed up calls and ran up and down the court, chasing after the ball and getting it to the hole. And Nathan was instantly reminded of that night he first really saw Haley, when he had been in a gym all by himself…playing all alone.
And losing every shot.
Then he had tons of money.
Now he worked a dirty job to get it.
Then he had hopes of a Duke scholarship.
Now he was preparing to go to a school with a team that was barely known.
Then he could date any girl he wanted and was an only child.
Now he had a brother, a wife, a sister, and a son.
Then he cared only about winning.
Now he had taken his losses.
Then he had been lonely and unhappy.
Now he was full of contentment.
And all he could think of as he heard Haley ranting out her silly cheers, and ran back and forth with his brother on this court with faded lines, with the two newest Scotts the only added audience, was…
God… I am blessed.
***
The End
***
Once again…the beginning part in italics was just something that based on what we saw happened in season could have been a possibility, but was never on the show, that Nathan and Haley talked before he asked her to tutor him. I rewatched season one and nothing in their first encounter on the show tells point blank that was the first time they talked to each other. It was the first time Nathan called her by name I believe, but he had already been in a class with her, was watching her with Tim, and Haley knew about him. I believe it's possible they could have had a nameless encounter in the past…and it just worked with the story.
The next part of course took place in present time and was just about a month after James was born.
The End and Here Comes The Sun lyrics, credited to The Beatles, specifically Lennon and McCartney. I was listening to Abbey Road as I edited this story…and wow…quite a few songs on there could go with this story.
Thanks for reading. / Feedback is adored.