Disclaimer: I don't own Wicked. I should be working on Scandalacious. Pretend it never happened. -LostOzian
Boq stared across the room at the prince's face, which really only put him two feet away and below the most sought after hunk of Shiz.
"You just had to drag me into this mess, didn't you?" he said in what he hoped was a threatening manner. He honestly felt scared to the bone, keeping his ears strained for some sign of the teacher that had discovered Fiyero with the stink bomb and Boq, the unlucky passerby.
"Yes, I did, because they'll think you're in with me," Fiyero said, leaning casually against a shelving unit filled with various cleaning supplies and folding his arms.
"I'm not 'in' with you!" Boq said. "And now I'm in a closet with you!" Fiyero shrugged, apparently telling the Munchkin that wasn't his problem.
"And that's can't be comfortable," Boq said bluntly. Fiyero looked back at the shelf, completely and utterly unworried.
"You're right. It's not," he said, standing upright. Boq groaned, sitting down on an upside down bucket.
"Oh, how are we going to get out of this?" he asked nobody in particular.
"Aha! You said 'we'!" Fiyero said in triumph. Boq glared up at him.
"'We', as in, 'how are you going to get me out of this?'" Boq corrected. "What in Oz were you doing, planting a stink bomb in the halls?"
"I'm getting tired of classes," Fiyero said. "Setting off said bomb means they're canceled the rest of the day to air out the smell."
"Why not just drop out, if you're tired of classes? They'll send you right off to a new school," Boq said. Fiyero bit his lip.
"There's something about Shiz," Fiyero said. "Something other schools didn't have."
Galinda… Boq thought dejectedly. He's staying in school for Galinda. I'll never have a chance… Boq cleared his throat, trying to appear casual.
"So… how are things going with you and Galinda?" he asked. Fiyero shifted a little bit.
"We've got a date tonight," he said ruefully. Boq picked up on the unhappy note.
"Not feeling up to it?" he tried to sound friendly.
"Yeah, but I have to go through, I've canceled on her twice." Boq practically jumped.
"Canceled on her twice!?" Boq couldn't even imagine canceling on her at all! "You don't cancel on a girl like Galinda!"
"Yeah, well, I do!" Fiyero said, his voice rising a little bit. Boq backed down the tiniest bit, wondering how even the most brainless of princes could have decided to cancel on Her Most Shining Glorified Beauty.
"She's just so… over-possessive…" Fiyero seemed to go off on some sort of mini-rant. "And she only gives me a moment to myself when it suits her."
Wait a clock tick… Boq thought. That's NESSA!
"Are you sure we're talking about the same Galinda?" Boq said carefully. Fiyero rolled his eyes.
"Miss Galinda Upland of the Upper Uplands of the Gillikin!" he rattled off in a cruel yet accurate imitation of Galinda's voice. "It's her all right."
"Wait…" Boq said. "But if you don't love her, dropping out is an easy excuse to break up!" Perfect, Boq! Fiyero off to a new school, Galinda for you! Fiyero looked around, picking at the straw of an upside-down broom leaning against the wall.
"I said before, Shiz has something special…" Fiyero seemed to be avoiding the question. Of course. It's a girl. Boq sat back down on the bucket, wondering if he would get Galinda if he helped her boyfriend figure out how to break up with her.
"Out with it," Boq said urgently. Fiyero struggled for a moment, before finally blurting out,
"There's another girl," he said. Well, Boq knew that, but it was better if the prince admitted it.
"That you're cheating with?" Boq pressed. Oz, he didn't even need to get Fiyero to dump Galinda. One reference to an affair to one of Galinda's friends and his precious Galinda would be out of the Winkie's life forever.
"That I wouldn't hesitate to cheat with," Fiyero corrected.
"Ah," Boq said. "Well, who's this girl you're waiting for the opportune moment with?" Fiyero blinked.
"What's 'opportune' mean?" he asked. Boq sighed.
"The right moment," Boq said. "The perfect moment." Fiyero rolled his eyes sadly.
"The right moment came and went, and I didn't take it," he complained. Boq raised his eyebrows.
"You chickened out of showing her how you felt?" Boq said incredulously.
"She can be pretty scary when she wants to be!" Fiyero defended his point.
"Shiz girls? Scary?" Boq said. "You've got to be kidding me."
"No, this girl's pretty scary to those she doesn't like," Fiyero said, laughing a little bit. Boq thought over the girls in Galinda's clique. None of them struck him as scary, or frightening, even when you armed them with eyeliner. Milla? No… Pfannee? No…
Elphaba? Boq froze. Mean, angry, scary Elphie.
"No," Boq said aloud. "No… It can't be her; you're not that stupid…" Fiyero stiffened a little bit.
"Who do you think I mean?" Fiyero prodded. Boq shook his head.
"No," he repeated. "Disregarding everything else, that's so cliché…"
"Out with it," Fiyero turned Boq's own words around at him.
"Falling for your girlfriend's roommate?!" Boq said exasperatedly. "Cliché to the max!" Fiyero crossed his arms defiantly.
"It doesn't matter how cliché it is when you're in love!" he said.
"But why?" Boq almost started begging. "Why in Oz do you think you're in love with the snippy green-"
"Stop saying bad things about her!" Fiyero cut Boq off. Silence.
"But still… why?" Boq restated the question. Fiyero closed his eyes, apparently remembering something.
"She's one-of-a-kind in more ways than I can count," he said, almost speaking aloud to himself. Boq rolled his eyes. Was Fiyero trying to be theatric? "The fire, the passion, the mystery-"
"The sarcasm," Boq said. "I know enough of the beautifully tragic Thropp from being around her sister, and you, my friend, have lost your mind."
"Don't get me started on your thing about Galinda," Fiyero said. "You follow her around best you can, you obviously stare at her in classes…" Boq felt his face growing hot, imagining that he must resemble some sort of radish to Fiyero.
"And I can't help but envy you!" Fiyero ended. Boq looked up, completely confusified. "I mean, last I heard you're dating Nessa, and you still have the guts to continue to pursue the girl you love!"
"I don't even think of myself as dating Nessa…" Boq said, strangely flattered the guy Galinda deemed worthy to date her was jealous of something he had. "I'm just waiting until I can leave Nessa gently-"
"The opportune moment," Fiyero experimented with his vocabulary. Boq nodded. "Though you're miserable when you're with Nessa, right?" Boq blinked, before nodding in admittance.
"Boq, the right moment isn't coming!" Fiyero declared. "We have to make it come!" Boq looked the prince over; everything about him reminded him of motivational speeches made by generals of history books.
"What in Oz are you talking about?" Boq asked.
"You hate Nessa, I hate Galinda," Boq cringed as Fiyero said that he hated her. Boq couldn't imagine a life hating her. "Right?"
"Yeah," Boq agreed.
"And you love Galinda, and I love Elphaba," Fiyero said, still thinking aloud. "Right?"
"Still think you're completely insanified, but-"
"Right," Fiyero didn't wait for Boq to stop speaking. "So we have to take action! It's up to us to end our misery and move forward into blissful happiness!"
Boq stared at the prince, one eyebrow raised, waiting for him to realize he was sounding like a lunatic.
"As soon as we get out of this closet," Fiyero said finally. "We're going to find our girlfriends, and break up with them." Boq dropped the quizzical look.
"I like the way that sounds," he said, half-grudgingly.
"Then," Fiyero continued, "We're going to find the love of our lives and tell them how we feel."
"No," Boq said. "Galinda can't even be bothered to say my name right." Fiyero patted Boq's arm.
"It's okay," he said. "I've noticed other guys that like Galinda. None of them are as far in as you are." Boq raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"Um… thanks," Boq said. Gagging noises could be heard outside, and the smell of rotting eggs soaked in kerosene started to seep into the room.
"Shake on it," Fiyero said, "then blend into the rivers of panicked students. We'll never be caught." Boq glanced at the prince's hand, before taking it. A quick up-down and they opened the closet door, mingling with their fellow classmates and pretending that the whole incident of the closet had never happened.
Boq scanned around the campus, trying to find some hint of his handicapped soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend. It's not like she could move that fast, she had to be near the now-empty building. Not much later, he noticed her chair by the lake. And where there was Nessa's chair…
"Nessa!" Boq called. She didn't look up. As he got closer, it looked like she was crying. "Nessa…what's wrong?"
"Th-three others," she said through sobs. "They took my books and threw them in the lake!" Boq turned and, sure enough, there were various textbooks and notes floating in the opaque water.
"But why?" Boq couldn't help but ask. Nessa sniffed again, tears rolling down her face.
"Because I can't fight back," she said. "They never pick on me when you're with me, but when I'm alone…" Her weeping redoubled; Boq just stood there, caught in morals. Should he really be so heartless as to break the heart of a girl who had just been bullied? He took a good look at her; as long as she was in that chair, she was helpless. She honestly did need him, at least as a friend.
Cautiously, he rolled his trousers up a little higher and took off his shoes. Nessa looked up, watching him with red and puffy eyes. He took a few steps into the lake, reaching the first clump of notes. He fished them out, pulling apart the limp pages.
"Oh, Boq!" Nessa exclaimed, seeming to just understand what he was doing. "Thank you so much! A few minutes more and they wouldn't be useable!" Boq waded back out, spreading out the pages on the lakeside bank.
"Don't mention it," Boq said without thinking.
Fiyero was wrong, Boq thought. There will be an opportune moment for me to leave Nessa, but now's not it. Now, she's being bullied, and she needs my help.
Vixeris was walking across campus, minding his own business, when he noticed what seemed to be a handicapped girl thowing her own books into the lake. Sighing, he just carried on doing what he did best; minding his own business.
Fiyero knocked on Galinda's door, rehearsing his opening in his mind.
Galinda, I have come to realize that we might not be as perfect together as I had first thought, Fiyero thought. Galinda's door flung open, revealing Galinda doing an impersonation of a blonde strawberry.
"Hi, Fiyero!" she gushed. "I'm just about ready, I just need to find my handbag!" And she turned away, not waiting for Fiyero to say a thing. He blinked into open space for a moment, before taking a few steps into the room.
I will never have to sit through another date with the dreaded Powder Puff ever again, if you can just stay the words… Fiyero thought. He glanced at Elphaba's bed, noticing it was empty. That was strange. She was almost always in the room during the hours Fiyero would pick Galinda up.
"Where's Elphaba?" he couldn't help but ask. Galinda paused in her search for a moment.
"I honestly have no idea," she said frankly. "She said a lot of words before she left, but most of them were really long, so I didn't get it."
Of course you wouldn't, Fiyero thought, asking, "What did she say?" Galinda screwed her face up in concentration.
"'Galinda, I am off to find the imbecile that deemed it entertaining to detonate a stink bomb in the halls and cancel classes, and see to it I dissect his head and insert some intelligence'." she announced in a bad imitation of Elphaba. Fiyero paled. Oh, Oz, what have I done?!
"She brought her letter opener with her," Galinda said. "That thing is so creepy, I would swear that it was used as some sort of killer's knife before."
"Elphaba talked about a 'he' setting off the bomb," Fiyero said, trying to keep his voice from cracking in fear. "She knew it was a he?"
"It just seems like the kind of thing a guy would do," Galinda said. "Maybe she had a specific guy in mind, but how would I know?" Galinda smiled at him. "All I knew is I had more time to prepare for our date!" Fiyero forced a smile. Oz, Elphaba is out to kill me, and It's all my fault!
"Wonderful," he said. Suddenly, he realized that the date with Galinda would be the perfect thing to give Elphaba time to forgive and forget, and not scalp him. "Shall we go now, dear?"
"Absolutely, Fifi!" Galinda selected a red purse from her closet and shoved a few makeup products into it. "Where are you taking me?"
"The other side of Shiz," Fiyero said, taking Galinda's arm and leading her out the door. "Far away from where we usually go."