Professor Tails
By Harly Reimer
Part 1 Degree
Tails: Oh my god I got it! Sonic look, I got my degree.
Sonic: What degree? You're already smarter than any of those crack pot professors.
Tails: I got my degree in advanced math, science, magic, and bull shit.
Sonic: Come again?
Tails: I was just kidding about the last one.
Tails smiles and holds his degree out to Sonic who examines it.
Sonic: Huh?
Tails: Never mind.
He walks away to put his degree on a high shelf where no one can reach it.
Part 2 Tails in Class
Tails sits down in his chair and smiles at the class of students. At the back of the room he spies Sonic who isn't supposed to be there.
Tails: Good morning class. Today we will be learning about truth potions and their side effects.
Sonic: What's a truth potion?
Tails sighs and begins the lesson.
Three hours later.
Tails catches up to Sonic in the cafeteria.
Tails: What the hell are you doing here?
Sonic: Learning, you got a problem with that?
Tails: This is a university. You've never been to school in your life!
Sonic: I went to opera school.
Tails: That doesn't count!
Sonic: Come on I wasn't that bad was I?
Flash back.
Sonic tests a truth potion on a rabbit. The rabbit turns invisible and Tails has to use his special detector to catch the rabbit.
Tails: Sonic!
Sonic runs and hides. Tails runs after him but runs right past him. Sonic sticks his tongue out, Tails spots it and captures Sonic.
Back to the present.
Sonic: Oh.
Tails: Go home Sonic. Just go home and leave me in peace.
Part 3 the Truth Potion
Sonic sneaks a truth potion that Tails made into a glass of root beer. He walks to Tails' lab and knocks on the door.
Tails: What do you want Sonic I'm busy?
Sonic: I brought you some root beer.
Tails opens the door, grabs the root beer and slams the door in Sonic's face.
Sonic smiles and sits down on the couch. He flips on the TV just as the door opens.
Shadow: I'm home.
Sonic: yay, did you bring the pizza?
Shadow kisses him and hides the pizza behind his back.
Shadow: Oh no I forgot.
Sonic: Come on Shadow, I can see the corner of the box sticking out.
Shadow: Damn! Nothing surprises you anymore does it?
Sonic: Nope. What kind is it?
Shadow: Peperoni just how you like it.
Shadow throws the pizza on the table and picks Sonic up.
Shadow: Suddenly I'm not too hungry at the moment. But I am definitely hungry for you.
He carries Sonic to his room and tosses him onto the bed. He slowly unstraps his knives and gun and puts them away then sits down beside Sonic. Shadow pulls Sonic into his arms and begins kissing him passionately and Sonic snuggles closer.
Tails sneaks out of his lab and grabs the pizza. He brings it to the lab where he eats the whole thing. When Sonic and shadow are finished their business they discover the pizza gone and Shadow has to go out and get another one.
The next day.
Tails sits down at his desk and glares around the room until he spots Sonic in the back.
Tails: Get your stupid blue ass out of here Sonic. Go back to elementary school where you belong. You're so stupid I'm surprised you have brains.
Sonic's head: Oh crap, I didn't know the truth potion would do that.
Tails: You're all stupid. I'm the only one around here who knows what they're doing. You're all a bunch of failures. Get out, all of you. You sicken me.
Tails spends the rest of the day grading papers and thinking about what he just said. He goes to the cafeteria but doesn't eat his lunch. He just sits there writing apology letters and staring into space. Sonic sits down and slides a giant cookie with I'm Sorry written on it towards Tails.
Sonic: I'm sorry Tails. I didn't know it would have that effect on you.
Tails: I was the one who made it so it turned against me WHICH YOU WOULD HAVE LEARNED IF YOU HAD PAID ATTENTION!
Sonic: I'm sorry.
Tails: No, I'm sorry for what I said to you. You just have a hard time focusing. Your job is on the battle field, not in a school.
They hug and then walk home together.
Part 4 A Surprise for Tails
Sonic: You can open your eyes now.
Tails opens his eyes to see a giant cake with CONGRATULATIONS SONIC written in blue icing. Sonic hands him a letter. Tails reads it and smiles.
"Dear Mr. Hedgehog,
We are happy to inform you that you have passed all your courses with flying colors. Congratulations. You now have an official college diploma."
The diploma sits beside Tails' degree.
Tails: Who knew online courses were the answer?
Shadow: I also tutored him and set up a reward system.
Tails: What's 300 plus 300?
Sonic: 600.
Shadow hands him a piece of cake and Sonic gobbles it down. Tails smiles at his buddy.
Tails: I knew you could learn.
They sit down and eat the cake which has custard in the middle and candy hearts on top
Shadow: I have a present for you Sonic.
He hands Sonic a vase of blue carnations with one black rose in the middle.
Shadow: You and me together forever.
Tails smiles wistfully and wishes Jenny was here.
Part 5 Tails Alone
Tails opens the door to his lab and walks inside. He carefully places a potted rose on his window sill and picks up the telephone. He dials and waits for someone to answer.
Julie: Hello?
Tails: Hi sweetie is your mom there?
Julie: She just went to the doctor's office with Cinos and Jennifer. They have the flu.
Tails: Well I love you all and when she comes back, tell her I called.
Julie: I will, and I love you too dad.
Tails hangs up and pulls a necklace from a drawer. He examines the broken clasp and fixes it, and then he adds another stone to it. Now it was ready for Jenny. There was one stone for each of them, a garnet for Jenny, a sapphire for him, two emeralds for Miles and Julie, three onyx's for April June and Vortex, a ruby for Cinos, and an opal for Jennifer.
Tails: Perfect. I can't wait to see Jenny again. I really miss her.
He wraps up the necklace and sends it to her by magic.
Tails: I hope you get this.
In the hospital waiting room a package lands on Jennifer's lap and she opens it to find the necklace. She puts it on and smiles at her children.
Sonic knocks on the door and Tails opens it.
Sonic: Come on out of your hidey hole. Let's go for a run little buddy.
Tails: No cheating.
Sonic: Never. He has a big grin on his face.
They walk outside together where Shadow waits with a stop watch.
Shadow: One, two…
They take off and Shadow smiles and cheers from the porch. Then he sits down to wait.
In the distance Sonic passes Tails at the finishing line and runs back to Shadow. Tails smiles and starts to fly back.
Eggman: Not so fast little fox.
Tails flies faster but a giant flying robot overtakes him and catches him.
Eggman: Ahh, the perfect bait to capture your wife.
Tails: What do you want with Jenny?
Eggman: Well actually I don't want her, I want your children.
Part 6 The Capture
Jenny: Time for dinner.
She sits baby Jennifer in her high chair as the rest of the children run into the room. They sit down and dig in. Julie helps serve April and June while Miles helps Vortex and Cinos.
Jennifer: Don't give Cinos too much Miles. He's still recovering.
The key turns in the lock and Tails walks in.
Tails: Jenny I'm home.
Jennifer: How was your stay at Sonic's house?
Tails: It was great but I decided to come home early because I missed you.
He kisses her and Eggman's team of robots swarm into the house capturing everyone.
Eggman: Now I've got you all, the only Focat family on Mobius. I am going to enjoy experimenting on you. Hehehehehehehehe.
Part 7 The Plan
A few hours earlier.
Sonic arrives back at the house and kisses Shadow.
Sonic: I won.
Shadow: You always do.
Sonic: I wonder where Tails is, he's usually not too far behind.
Mecha Sonic: Ha ha. You won't find him any time soon.
Shadow: Oh shit how did he get here?
Mecha: I walked.
Sonic: But I destroyed you last year.
Mecha: Ha ha. You are so stupid. Eggman built me back up again. Now he has your buddy and his family. You won't stop him from experimenting on them and creating all sorts of other cross breeds and robots. He tried once before but you can't exactly cross a cheetah with a rat.
Sonic and Shadow leap to their feet and start beating up Mecha Sonic.
Sonic: You rusty piece of shit. I don't care that Eggman rebuilt you. That just means I get to destroy you again.
Shadow: Eat fire metal nuts.
He grabs a torch from a holder, lights it and sets the grass on fire. Mecha Sonic tries to escape but the fire surrounds him.
Mecha: Damn it, I don't wanna melt.
Sonic: Good thing our house is flame resistant.
Sonic: Wait. Doesn't he know how to fly?
"Mecha's jetpack begins to melt"
Sonic: Oh… Ha ha!
He rips out Mecha Sonic's circuit board and him and Shadow watches as he malfunctions and then explodes into a fiery ball of death"
Shadow: Well that looks rather unsightly.
Sonic: And it's bad for the environment. Oh well, Tails will know what to do, once we get him back that is.
They walk inside the house and sit down at the table. Shadow pulls out a paper and pen and begins to draw the plan of Eggman's lab.
Shadow: We've been there before. That's one experience I never want to relive. But I got a bazooka out of it.
Sonic: Yeah, I came to save you but you ended up saving me. Too bad we couldn't get the whole thing to cave in. It was underground after all.
Shadow: Well at least we know where it is. We'll need back up though.
Sonic pulls out the phone book and looks up their list of friends.
Sonic: Bubbly won't be able to help because she's an owl, Smokey might, and Pearl's a dog so she can help us dig our way out if we get in trouble. Gemma's a bear and they don't like it underground. Emma's a duck and there's not much use for her or Coconut but Glamour might be able to help.
Shadow: Well that's three people which is better than none. Call them up and see if they're free.
Shadow straps on knives and guns and loads up his bazooka. Sonic makes sure he has the chaos emeralds ready and comes to stand by Shadow.
Sonic: You look hot in all that gear.
Shadow: Thanks.
Glamour, Smokey, and Pearl arrive and Sonic lets them in.
Glamour: I sharpened my claws today so I'm ready to go.
Smokey: Got something sneaky to do, I'm your cat. Stealthy is my middle name.
Pearl: If he blocked the tunnels you can count on me.
Sonic: Great, let's get going.
Part 8 In the Tunnels
Sonic: Holy shit that's a lot of tunnels. He must have expanded. Which way did he take them?
Pearl sniffs the ground and turns right. The rest of them follow her and soon come to a black door with a robot guarding it.
Robot: You shall not pass.
Shadow: Get out of the way metal brain before I blast you to smithereens.
The robot shoots a bolt of electricity but Sonic dodges and it smacks into the wall making dirt rain down.
Robot: You won't get past me.
Smokey sneaks around the robot and steals the key from around its neck. Then she jumps up and unlocks the door.
Sonic: What makes you think you're so great. You just let a cat slip right through your defenses.
Robot: What cat?
Smokey walks to the front of the robot and waves the key in his face. While the robot's distracted Sonic rips out it's circuit board and throws it against the wall. The robot collapses and they walk past him into another tunnel.
Sonic: Good job Smokey.
Smokey: Thanks, it's my specialty.
They walk down the tunnel and soon come to another door. Tails stands in front of the door with a sword in his hand.
Sonic: Hi Tails.
Tails: I am not the Tails you once knew. I cannot let you pass.
Sonic: Come on little buddy, we're here to save you.
Tails tries to slash Sonic with the sword but Shadow blocks it.
Shadow: Snap out of it Tails.
Tails: You cannot pass.
Sonic runs past Tales and whacks him on the head. Tales falls over uncontious. Shadow picks up Tales and they walk through the door.
Part 9 Eggman's Death
Eggman is standing in the middle of the room surrounded by robots. Jennifer and the kids are strapped to a long table with gas masks on.
Sonic: Let them go.
Eggman: No way. They are the breakthrough to a new race of robots and beings.
Sonic: I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
He whisper's in Shadow's ear and Shadow relays the message to Pearl, Smokey, and Glamour.
Eggman: What are you five planning? Whatever it is I can easily foil it hehehehe.
Shadow: No way in hell.
Smokey sneaks under the table and to the back of Eggman's robot, turning it off. As she does that, Glamor and Pearl jump onto the table and begin unstrapping Jennifer.
Eggman: No! I can't let you do this.
He presses buttons on his robot, trying to make it respond and failing. While he's distracted Shadow shoots him with a bazooka blowing him and the robot up. Sonic presses a button on a panel and Tails' eyes turn back to normal.
Sonic: Now everyone he brain washed should be back to normal. I may not be that smart, but I can definitely figure out Eggman's controls.
Tails: That's only because you have a deploma now.
Tails begins removing the gas masks from Jenny and his children. He kisses Jenny and she slowly wakes up.
Jennifer: You saved me.
She hugs Tails and their children tightly.
Part 10 Plot Twist
Tails sits with 2 year old Jennifer on his lap and 5 year old Cinos beside him.
Tails: Wasn't that a great story kids?
Cinos: Did all that really happen?
Sonic: Nah, you're dad's just pulling your leg.
Tales: Hey, the first part was true.
Shadow: Did you have to tell your kids about us doing that stuff?
Tales: It's okay, they don't understand it anyway.
Sonic: I wish you really did blow up Eggman. That would have been awesome.
Shadow: We all knew I could do it.
Everyone smiles and Sonic hugs Shadow.
Sonic: My turn. This is a story about the three dumb kings and the magical blue hedgehog.