Title: Secrets (or that time Freddie had a heart attack)
Rating: M
Pairing: ot3 (Carly/Freddie/Sam)
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: This was for a smut prompt but oh man, I'm really bad at smut. I'm just not good at it at all so here is the best I could do. Damn champagnescene for this gracing FF.
//
You know that voice in the back of your head? The one that sounds a lot like the guidance counselor you had in middle school who would always send for you two minutes before lunch instead of at the start of class and then proceed to stick his or her's nose into your business, telling you what was right or wrong. Saying that all it took was one mistake to completely derail your life off the stable and secure tracks you and your obsessive compulsive mother have laid out.
That if you weren't careful, you would lose all you've worked so hard for?
Freddie was hearing that voice (the one that sounded a lot like Mr. Gregory) yelling at him that this discussion, the one that Carly and Sam were so eager to have right now-- it was only going to lead down a road he wanted nothing to do with. A road littered with broken glass which would slash up his tires and leave him stranded in the middle of no where and eaten by wolves or coyotes in no time at all. But he ignores the warning because hey, when you got two beautiful girls (one of them with a violent temper) sitting across the room looking at you expectantly... Well, you suck it up and you jump off the cliff or run into the fire or whatever crazy thing a guy will do for a girl.
"So, you going to answer the question or what? Ain't got all day, Freddifer."
He blinked hard before looking over to the blonde with the aforementioned violent temper who was leaning against Carly and looking at him with that familiar look; the one that was a mixture of boredom and vague disgust. "What?"
She just rolled her eyes before grinning, that upwards turn of her lips that makes his lungs tighten up ever so slightly because it's usually followed by the destruction of his personal property or the destruction of his self esteem. "Don't act like you didn't hear me. Answer the question; what kind of mental images do you conjuncture up in that nerdy brain of yours when you give lil Freddie a rub down?"
Nevermind, abort mission, he can't go through with this.
"I don't do th- it's none of your business okay!" He ended sharply, looking over towards the studio door like Spencer could come walking through it at any moment but mostly to hide the flush overtaking him; the red hue burning his cheeks and the tips of his ears. To be honest, he wasn't even sure how they got started on all of this. They were all just hanging out after filming the show and Sam and Carly were talking about whatever while he was searching stuff on his laptop and somewhere between that and now, the conversation had taken a very personal and very taboo turn. He very much wanted to bail at the moment but he knew with present company, he wouldn't even make it to the stairs.
"Awh, is the dorkball too embarrassed to talk about what he does in the shower? It was a moot question anyway, we all already know you're getting it on with Carls in your head."
"Sam!" Carly let out the blonde's name in a disapproving gasp.
"What?" Sam turned over to her best friend. "The kid has been stalking you professing his undying love for how many years now? Remember the whole 'I'm going to be Carly Shay's second husband' bit? How are you two suppose to do the nasty on your honeymoon if he can even admit he jerks o-"
Freddie interrupted her with a groan, letting his head fall in his hands. "Why are we even talking about this?"
"Because we're growing as people, Fredward. We're evolving and changing and since we're the bestest of friends, we should be able to talk about stuff like this with one and other." Sam deadpanned, nodding in mock seriousness before shrugging. "Actually, it's not that load of crap at all. Mostly just to make you squirm. So tell us, how often do you service yourself thinking about Carly?"
Freddie ran his fingers through his hair before looking up and fixing Sam with a dirty look. Before he could retort though, Carly let out a sigh, rolling her eyes a bit before locking them back onto Freddie.
"You don't have to answer that, Freddie. Because really, I don't want to know."
Well that comment sparked something in him. He wasn't too sure what it was but it felt a whole lot like indignation. Why did she just assume he was thinking about her everything he you know what'd? It's been two years since his over zealous crush days, he could have certainly moved on, you know. He had that girlfriend for like those two weeks. Maybe he was thinking about her when he- yeah, no he wasn't. He actually dumped that girl because she reminded him too much of his mother and that was just asking for him to be paying for therapy for the rest of his life. So not the point though. The point was that Carly Shay wasn't the center of his universe anymore and people needed to catch up and figure that out.
Freddie swallowed the thick bile in the back of his throat and summoned whatever false courage he could. "I don't think about Carly when I'm… when I'm having some alone time."
Carly actually had the nerve to look surprised.
Sam just looked interested. And well devious but she always looks devious.
"You don't huh? Well let us in on the big secret, Benson. What gets your blood pumping when you in the mood to do some pumping?"
"Do you have to be so crass?" He asked, wrinkling his nose.
And she nodded. "Yeah, I really do. Stop stalling and confess up."
Freddie shifted uncomfortably around in the beanbag, trying to not feel so awkward and failing terribly at it. He kept his eyes trained to the floor. "I don't know. I think about a lot of girls, or whatever."
"Like who?"
"Come on, I kind of answered your stupid question, can't we just drop it?" Freddie complained, eyes still locked to the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
The answer was no, of course. Sam could not just drop it.
"Do you think about any of the girls in this room right now?"
That got his gaze off of the floor in seconds flat. Was she honestly asking him that? You don't ask someone a question like that. He gave her a look that seemed to express 'are you insane?'.
"Are you insane?"
"That's a yes." Sam nodded, grinning because she was very sure of herself as she pushed off of Carly and started to lean forward.
"What? No it isn't!"
He was wasting his breath, the blonde was basically a human lie detector, had something to do with the way she could smell fear. Freddie let out a ragged breath, planning on just not saying anything more because if he didn't answer, the game couldn't continue and Sam would be forced to leave him alone. Yeah, that plan would have worked just awesome if not for the fact it was Carly who spoke next.
"So you really don't think about me at all?"
This was a dream. An alternate reality he somehow slipped into because he fell and hit his head against something hard because Carly Shay did not just ask him if he thought about her while he masturbated and she sure as hell didn't ask in a disappointed bordering on saddened tone like the one she just used. Slowly he moved his right hand to his other forearm and give himself a stinging pinch that made him cringe slightly before looking back over to the girl across from him to confirm if he was indeed sleeping or not. Carly was still looking at him anxiously while Sam was looking at him with a look that seemed to say 'I'm bored' and 'you're retarded' at the same time.
He had to speak over Mr. Gregory yelling in his head again that this was a bad, bad idea.
"Well, uh… sometimes. I mean- yeah. I guess I still do."
"Yeah, and how many times you think about me while you're getting off huh?" Sam asked, breaking the brief staring contest her best friends were having.
He couldn't answer that. That was crossing a line that he wouldn't ever be able to come back from, giving her the material to end his life with anytime she wanted to. So in that split second, he made the decision that he was going to run. And you know, he might have gotten out of the apartment if he fucking didn't look up and make eye contact with Sam. By the time he popped out of his seat and ran to the door, she was already there, her lithe frame blocking the exit. He stood frozen a few steps away, mouth a jar in the slightest while she grinned and rubbed it in his face.
"All you had to say was a lot, didn't have to put on this little show."
"Sam."
He heard Carly warn from behind him but it didn't seem to phase the blonde as she slowly made her way over to him and looked at him like… well, let's just say he feels very similar to the way a piece of meat feels when it's thrown into a lion's den at the zoo. She stopped in front of him for a second before pushing forward until she is flush against him and she's standing up on her tippe toes in order to get her mouth right next to one of his ears. She whispers in this rasp tone he's not use to ever coming from Sam, at least directed towards him.
"In your head, how am I? Do we go at it all rough and hot, or is it nice and sweet."
Freddie swallows. It's all he has time for before Carly is at his side and yanking Sam over to the other corner of the room and in that instant, he lets out a huge breath he didn't even know he was holding in. This would be the time to run, Mr. Gregory tells him but he can't because he can't work his legs at the moment. None of his limbs seem to be cooperating at the moment so all he can do is watch the two girls in the corner as they whisper and argue about something-- probably him but the specifics were lost in translation. Logic dictated that Carly was telling Sam to knock it off but she could have just said that right in front of him and hopefully that would have been the end of it.
The loud whispering stops and then Sam looks over at him grinning and then Carly's gaze follows in fashion but with a timid smile and that feeling is back. You know, the one with the meat and the lions and whatnot.
Carly and Sam's pow wow is finally over and the surprises just keep coming when they both move to the bed and take a seat, blue and brown eyes trained to him. It was Carly who spoke.
"Freddie, come over here."
What the fu-
"Huh?"
He can feel a faint panic starting to set in because he honestly has no idea what to expect next in this weird twilight zone he seems to be stuck in. And yeah, he thinks about running for the door yet again because things are getting way to strange and he doesn't handle things suddenly changing all that well; the very distinct feeling that the carpet is about to be pulled out from underneath him.
"We just want to talk."
He laughed but there was little humor to it. "We've been just talking and look how things are turning out."
Sam let out a huff of frustration, getting to her feet and moving over towards Freddie causing every muscle in his body to tense up yet again. She wrapped her hand around his wrist (not so gently) and yanked him over to where Carly sat, sort of flinging him down next to the brunette girl before taking a seat on the other side of him, effectively boxing him in. He jumps a bit when Carly's hand comes to rest on his knee and even more when he feels Sam lean into his side.
"So, Benson, I have question that relates to one of the ones I asked earlier."
He groans.
And she grins.
"I asked you if you ever get off thinking about any of the girls in this room. Maybe you can elaborate a little more and tell me if you've ever gotten off thinking about both of the girls in this room, at the same time."
Tingling in your left arm means you're having a heart attack, right?
"What?" Was pretty much all he could squeak out and God did he wish he hadn't just squeaked because Sam is leering- and oh man, so is Carly. Hm, it's actually pretty weird to see Carly leer, it seems so out of place. So not the point though because she is leering and her hand is rubbing small circles on his knee before moving inch by inch up his leg and all he can think about besides the warming sensation flooding his chest and the smell of apples drifting around in the air was that he'd have to have a closed casket funeral when he died from a heart attack because a smiling dead teenage boy would be way disturbing to look at.
"Well," Carly started. "We were thinking about how you admitted to thinking of us when you- have your alone time and how we find it flattering.."
"And creepy." Sam interjected but without her usual venom, she was too busy nuzzling into his neck and making it really hard to concentrate on what Carly was saying. Not that the brunette girl was making it any easier on him, her hand still grazing upwards over the fabric of his jeans.
"And we were thinking that since you were so honest with us, that maybe we could be honest with you too, and tell you a secret of our own."
He was going to lose it, they were making him crazy. Her words barely even registered because Carly's hand was hovering just over his crotch and Sam's lips were brushing over his neck and she kept nipping (well biting) down on his pulse point.
"Do you wanna know our secret, Freddie?" Carly asked with more innocence than a girl with her hand where it's currently resting should have.
"Ye-yes."
Sam grinned into his neck. "Take it to the grave with you, Fredward." Her hand came to rest over Carly's and then they pushed down and added a slight pressure that he couldn't help but involuntarily buck against. "Our secret is we're probably going to fuck you. We're probably going to do a lot of things to you but not right now. Because Spencer is coming home in about twenty minutes and we are going to need way longer than that to use you up until you're just this puddle of dork dripping off the side of the bed. Or couch. Or the backseat of your car."
Another bite, her teeth dragging along the skin of his neck while Carly's hand gave him a kneed.
"You won't know when. Could be later tonight, could be tomorrow. Could be during lunch three weeks from now but we're probably going to fuck you, Benson." And then she pulled away and the cold air hit the wet spots on his neck and the friction on his crotch causing him to inwardly groan was gone. He watched with wide eyes and bated breath while the two girls moved over to the door.
"Now Fredward, make sure you remember who is suppose to be in your head when you deal with" Sam gave a nod, looking down at his lap. "that."
And then they walked out and left him sitting there in this catatonic state as he wondered what the hell just happened but the more he thought about it, the more Sam's words were starting to really sink in and he felt himself become more and mor- he needed to go home, get out of the studio and away from all of what just happened.
He needed a shower. Yeah, some alone time in the shower would help clear his head.