I'm Not Home

Heaven was bright, but the souls were not. I wandered among them, wondering if I would ever belong without George.

I saw the ghosts of fathers and mothers and children, all weeping for what they had lost. I would be weeping, too, had I not been so shocked.

I spotted Remus and Tonks. I made my way over to them. Even as a soul, Remus was still shabby and Tonks was still colorful.

"Teddy," Tonks sad sorrowfully.

I knew enough not to ask who Teddy was. How would it feel, I wondered, to lose someone so close to you that you hardly knew, like a newborn baby?

I bet it would feel pretty awful. Perhaps she and Remus felt the pain I feel now.

Remus saw me. "You were too young to die. Tonks was too young to die, as well."

"I wanted to fight."

Remus sighed. "I know you did. But do you now, now that you know what it feels like?"

I pondered that question long and hard.

During that time, a face I had come to know so well before he died came over. "Moony!" he cried.

"Padfoot! It is good to see you again!" Remus said, his enthusiasm slightly marred without his son.

"I brought someone along," said Sirius, and behind him was a man who looked very much like Harry.

"James!" Remus exclaimed, and they sort of embraced, unable to touch each other. "It has been so long."

"I know, my friend. Lily's here as well."

A beautiful woman with long hair walked over to them. She smiled, but it was sad. "I know how it feels to never see your child again," she said to Tonks and Remus.

A pang hit me. So many of these couples had died in the war, but still had babies back on Earth. It was all because of Voldemort. Voldemort did this. Voldemort took me away from my brother.

I knew my answer to Remus's question.

Suddenly, I realized a face was missing among the thousands of souls. "Where's Dumbledore?"

"Nobody knows," said a voice I knew, and the ghost of Severus Snape walked over.

"You!" I snarled. "You killed Dumbledore!"

Snape's face was sad, mourning. "I know. I didn't want to."

"We saw it happen," said Lily. "Snape killed Dumbledore on Dumbledore's orders."

They told me everything they knew, and I believed them. But my sudden sympathy for Snape did not stop the flow of pain that hit me hard.

I would never see George again, plot with him, joke with him. We would never finish the other's sentences, or run the joke shop together. We were alone, separated.

I'm not home. Home was where my twin was. And I know George thinks the same thing.