Disclaimer: I don't own any of this lovely story or the characters but it all belongs to the wonderful author J.R.R. Tolkien, who is one of my favorite authors. I just twisted it a bit, that's all.
Summary: The LOTR characters are all animals! Oh no! But it's okay, they're supposed to be like that. :D
One fine day Gandalf was swimming around in his favorite fishbowl. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he could see a brown chunk of something floating through the water. He swam over to it and saw that it was chocolate. He also noticed Frodo the Frog standing beside the tank.
"Hello Frodo!" said Gandalf. "Thank you for the chocolate!" He gleefully popped it into his mouth with his fin.
"You're welcome. Samwise made it."
Gandalf spat it out immediately, causing the water surrounding him to swirl into a nasty brownish color. Gandalf himself turned green. Samwise had been known to use his own fur in his recipes.
"Frodo," said Gandalf seriously, "I need to talk to you about something EXTREMELY important. Even more important than Starbucks Coffee."
"Wow, it must be serious then. What is it?
"Well," said Gandalf slowly as though thinking back to a time long ago. "Your uncle Bilbo is no ordinary butterfly. I don't mean that you are a frog and he is a butterfly and yet you both have the same blood running through your veins (how IS that possible?) but he owns something of great importance. MAGNIFICENT importance. Something so significant that your life and mine rest upon the vastness of its magnitude of its meaning, something so-"
"OKAY!" said Frodo. "I don't understand a word you just said."
"It's key to our survival, dude." Gandalf said, rolling his eyes.
"Oh, I get it." Frodo smiled. "What is this thing you speak of?"
"It is a ring. A Magic ring. The Fun Ring."
"That ring!!" Frodo exclaimed. "I knew Bilbo had it, the beautiful gold one, but I had no idea it was Magical!"
"Cursed, really."
"What makes it so Magical?
"If you wear it, it'll make you fly."
"Really?!" said Frodo excitedly.
"No."
Frodo stuck his tongue out at Gandalf and then said, "Uncle Bilbo often used to rub his head against it as though trying to get rid of a headache."
"He was stroking it, Frodo. The Ring has many powers and one of them is to trick the innocent into massaging it. Evil, it is." A silence followed this statement. Frodo was by now sitting in a chair and had listened to all Gandalf said very intently and with a thoughtful look on his green face. Gandalf was now trying to light a pipe but the spark kept being drowned out by the water. He finally gave up. A bee buzzed through the air and Frodo's long pink tongue flew out and caught it.
"Yeeeeeeeooowwweeeeeeeee!" he howled in pain.
"My dear, are you all right?" Gandalf asked concerned.
"It wath a bee," lisped Frodo. His tongue looked lopsided. Gandalf snorted behind his fin. Then he said, "You know, I'm feeling hungry. Feed me."
"I can'th. My hands are too small to hold your bottle of food." Just then, Samwise, the squirrel who lived in the tree next door, entered the room. When he saw Frodo his jaw dropped to his toes and he said in a squeak, "Oh my goodness! You'd better bless your stars it wasn't your head!"
"Why thank you Thamwithe," said Frodo, rolling his eyes. "Can we help you with thomething?"
"Oh, I just came to tell you I watered the flowers and I even put little signs in front o them telling which kind they are." He smiled proudly.
"Very good, Thamwithe."
"FEED ME!" repeated Gandalf.
"Yes Mr. Gandalf, Sir," said Samwise. He was often frightened in the presence of Gandalf, who was not an ordinary goldfish (like most of the animals in this story), but a great and powerful Wizard.
Samwise scurried to a cupboard and brought out a bottle of fish food.
"No, not that!" groaned Gandalf. "I want some REAL food, not those disgusting hair flakes or whatever they're called."
"Yes, Mr. Gandalf." Samwise hurriedly took some bread, cheese, cookies, and chocolate milk out of the fridge. Then he went to the fishbowl and offered them to Gandalf.
"Here you go, Mr. Gandalf. I suppose you find these treats more to you liking? Tastier flavors?" But Gandalf did not reply. His eyes were bulging and he was turning blue.
"Help me! I'm drowning!" he screamed.
"Oh no! oh no! Mr. Frodo! Gandalf is drowned! Then Samwise heard hysterical laughter. He turned and saw Gandalf, who was now giggling so hard he was floating upside down with his fins clasped around his belly. Samwise's lip trembled and he hurried out of the room.
"You didn't have to do that. AGAIN," said Frodo, who felt sorry for his loyal friend. Gandalf was still laughing to hard to hear him. When finally he composed himself he said, "Ah yes, we must get back to the ring. The importance of it is great."
"Yes, you mentioned that," said Frodo.
"Well…long ago the ring was made by the dark snake Sauron and he lost it and eventually Gollum, a goose got it and Bilbo took it from him. Now Bilbo is with the elves and you are the owner of the ring."
"So that's where it came from."
"Right, anyway, I went looking for Gollum because I needed to question him about some things, but they had already found him. The Enemy knows where the ring is. Gollum told them before I could stop him and he was rewarded a million dollars. Gandalf sighed.
"So what happened to you?" asked Frodo.
"I…uh, I was caught and flushed down the toilet."
"Really?" laughed Frodo. "You must have smelled! Ha ha!"
"Shut up."
"So what should I do?"
"You must leave town immediately. Head for the town of Smee. I'll even come with you as you're guide."
"And what about Samwise? Surely he won't allow me to leave without him tagging along."
"That's right!" said Samwise, who was climbing in through the window. He tripped over the sill and fell on his face.
"Eavesdropper…"muttered Gandalf.
"So when do we leave?" asked Samwise.
"Now." said Gandalf. "Gather your things. You must pack light for we are traveling on foot. And Frodo, you must never ever wear the ring, for the Black Rats will be drawn to its power." Samwise gasped. The three packed their bags and headed out the door when Gandalf remembered they forgot the ring.
"The ring!" he screamed. "Frodo, run and get it! It's hidden inside the toilet tank!" Frodo did as he was told and came back with sopping hands. He placed the ring safely in his coat pocket and dried his hands on Samwise's fur.
"I needed a bath anyway…" Samwise mumbled.
On with the Quest…
I hope you enjoyed the first part.
Summary: The LOTR characters are all animals! Oh no! But it's okay, they're supposed to be like that. :D
One fine day Gandalf was swimming around in his favorite fishbowl. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he could see a brown chunk of something floating through the water. He swam over to it and saw that it was chocolate. He also noticed Frodo the Frog standing beside the tank.
"Hello Frodo!" said Gandalf. "Thank you for the chocolate!" He gleefully popped it into his mouth with his fin.
"You're welcome. Samwise made it."
Gandalf spat it out immediately, causing the water surrounding him to swirl into a nasty brownish color. Gandalf himself turned green. Samwise had been known to use his own fur in his recipes.
"Frodo," said Gandalf seriously, "I need to talk to you about something EXTREMELY important. Even more important than Starbucks Coffee."
"Wow, it must be serious then. What is it?
"Well," said Gandalf slowly as though thinking back to a time long ago. "Your uncle Bilbo is no ordinary butterfly. I don't mean that you are a frog and he is a butterfly and yet you both have the same blood running through your veins (how IS that possible?) but he owns something of great importance. MAGNIFICENT importance. Something so significant that your life and mine rest upon the vastness of its magnitude of its meaning, something so-"
"OKAY!" said Frodo. "I don't understand a word you just said."
"It's key to our survival, dude." Gandalf said, rolling his eyes.
"Oh, I get it." Frodo smiled. "What is this thing you speak of?"
"It is a ring. A Magic ring. The Fun Ring."
"That ring!!" Frodo exclaimed. "I knew Bilbo had it, the beautiful gold one, but I had no idea it was Magical!"
"Cursed, really."
"What makes it so Magical?
"If you wear it, it'll make you fly."
"Really?!" said Frodo excitedly.
"No."
Frodo stuck his tongue out at Gandalf and then said, "Uncle Bilbo often used to rub his head against it as though trying to get rid of a headache."
"He was stroking it, Frodo. The Ring has many powers and one of them is to trick the innocent into massaging it. Evil, it is." A silence followed this statement. Frodo was by now sitting in a chair and had listened to all Gandalf said very intently and with a thoughtful look on his green face. Gandalf was now trying to light a pipe but the spark kept being drowned out by the water. He finally gave up. A bee buzzed through the air and Frodo's long pink tongue flew out and caught it.
"Yeeeeeeeooowwweeeeeeeee!" he howled in pain.
"My dear, are you all right?" Gandalf asked concerned.
"It wath a bee," lisped Frodo. His tongue looked lopsided. Gandalf snorted behind his fin. Then he said, "You know, I'm feeling hungry. Feed me."
"I can'th. My hands are too small to hold your bottle of food." Just then, Samwise, the squirrel who lived in the tree next door, entered the room. When he saw Frodo his jaw dropped to his toes and he said in a squeak, "Oh my goodness! You'd better bless your stars it wasn't your head!"
"Why thank you Thamwithe," said Frodo, rolling his eyes. "Can we help you with thomething?"
"Oh, I just came to tell you I watered the flowers and I even put little signs in front o them telling which kind they are." He smiled proudly.
"Very good, Thamwithe."
"FEED ME!" repeated Gandalf.
"Yes Mr. Gandalf, Sir," said Samwise. He was often frightened in the presence of Gandalf, who was not an ordinary goldfish (like most of the animals in this story), but a great and powerful Wizard.
Samwise scurried to a cupboard and brought out a bottle of fish food.
"No, not that!" groaned Gandalf. "I want some REAL food, not those disgusting hair flakes or whatever they're called."
"Yes, Mr. Gandalf." Samwise hurriedly took some bread, cheese, cookies, and chocolate milk out of the fridge. Then he went to the fishbowl and offered them to Gandalf.
"Here you go, Mr. Gandalf. I suppose you find these treats more to you liking? Tastier flavors?" But Gandalf did not reply. His eyes were bulging and he was turning blue.
"Help me! I'm drowning!" he screamed.
"Oh no! oh no! Mr. Frodo! Gandalf is drowned! Then Samwise heard hysterical laughter. He turned and saw Gandalf, who was now giggling so hard he was floating upside down with his fins clasped around his belly. Samwise's lip trembled and he hurried out of the room.
"You didn't have to do that. AGAIN," said Frodo, who felt sorry for his loyal friend. Gandalf was still laughing to hard to hear him. When finally he composed himself he said, "Ah yes, we must get back to the ring. The importance of it is great."
"Yes, you mentioned that," said Frodo.
"Well…long ago the ring was made by the dark snake Sauron and he lost it and eventually Gollum, a goose got it and Bilbo took it from him. Now Bilbo is with the elves and you are the owner of the ring."
"So that's where it came from."
"Right, anyway, I went looking for Gollum because I needed to question him about some things, but they had already found him. The Enemy knows where the ring is. Gollum told them before I could stop him and he was rewarded a million dollars. Gandalf sighed.
"So what happened to you?" asked Frodo.
"I…uh, I was caught and flushed down the toilet."
"Really?" laughed Frodo. "You must have smelled! Ha ha!"
"Shut up."
"So what should I do?"
"You must leave town immediately. Head for the town of Smee. I'll even come with you as you're guide."
"And what about Samwise? Surely he won't allow me to leave without him tagging along."
"That's right!" said Samwise, who was climbing in through the window. He tripped over the sill and fell on his face.
"Eavesdropper…"muttered Gandalf.
"So when do we leave?" asked Samwise.
"Now." said Gandalf. "Gather your things. You must pack light for we are traveling on foot. And Frodo, you must never ever wear the ring, for the Black Rats will be drawn to its power." Samwise gasped. The three packed their bags and headed out the door when Gandalf remembered they forgot the ring.
"The ring!" he screamed. "Frodo, run and get it! It's hidden inside the toilet tank!" Frodo did as he was told and came back with sopping hands. He placed the ring safely in his coat pocket and dried his hands on Samwise's fur.
"I needed a bath anyway…" Samwise mumbled.
On with the Quest…
I hope you enjoyed the first part.