Finally! Britney
faces my wrath! (Whatever wrath I have
in me…). It's about time. Disclaimers are at the end of this song so
as not to spoil the surprises. Don't
forget to review! Pweesh?
Airstation: Esthar
Airstation to Ragnarok, report status please.
Ragnarok: Ragnarok
here. Gravity status: normal, oxygen
status, 98%
Airstation: Any sign
of habitation?
Ragnarok: Not as
much as a…whoa there choco! What the…?
(Picture of Quistis, wearing the latest range of P. Diddy underwear, for the
more endowed woman)
Airstation:
YEEOOWWZZAA!!! WHAT IS IT?!?!?!
Ragnarok: Oh, yeah,
it's real cute, alright, it couldn't be…?
Airstation:
Ragnarok, what the f*** is goin' on up there?!
No, no, no, no, no, NO!
No, no, no, no, no, NO!
Quistis: I told
you time and again,
You need to work hard,
And you might get "A"s.
It might seem much too harsh,
But the whip that I wield is not
sharp enough…
But to mark all those essays,
I might as well give you "F"!
Ahahahaha!
Opps! I did it again,
I worked you too hard,
Now you're on caffeine to keep to
awake…
Opps! You've messed up your maths,
And forgot your Pythagoras!
YOU'RE NOT GETTING SOME
TONIGHT!!!
You see, your problem is this,
You're jumping the gun,
You're dreaming of when you will
rule the whole world.
I cry watching you dazed,
Coz that #$%! Trepie is better
than you!
But to get you to work again,
I'll go and sharpen my whip…
Ahahahaha!
Opps! I did it again,
I worked you too hard,
Now you're on caffeine to keep to
awake…
Opps! Now, biology,
Forgot the anatomy!?!?
YOU'RE NOT LEARNING THAT
TONIGHT!!!
Ragnarok: All
aboard.
Seifer: Quisty,
there is something I wanted you to have (hands her an Ali G vibrator)
Quistis: Oh, that's
great! I'll think about you next time I
use it, but isn't it…?
Seifer: Yeah, it is.
Quistis: But I
thought that Mary had it since she didn't have a guy?
Seifer: Well, I went
and got it for ya.
Quistis: Oh, you
should have.
Seifer: (Pathetic
almost Britney cry) STOP!!! (Music
stops) Oh my Gawd, now that would have
made Britters jealous, or maybe even the Backies, but hey! Do I get "A"s forever more?! I worked hard to get that for ya!
Quistis: Seifer,
when will you learn?! To get "A"s from
me you have to:
a)
Work hard
b)
Obey the crack of my whip
c)
Swing naked from the chandeliers, grab the swag, leap not
unlike George of the Jungle (watch out for that pillar!) off of there, lick
chocolate Angel Delight off my entire body, and don't forget to grab a fig leaf
and jive the Saturday Night Fever before you run out onto the balcony, stand on
the ledge and shout, "I'M THE DWEEB OF THE WORLD!!!! WHOO-HOO!!!
WHOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
Seifer: …(a lá Mark
and Lard squeak) CARRY ON!!!
Quistis: Opps! I did it again to your arse!
You lost twenty marks in English!
Opps! You think that I'm much too harsh,
This is the start of fun!
Seifer: Opps! You did it again!
You worked me too hard,
And I'm on caffeine to keep me
awake!
Opps! You seem to forget I'm not in even in your class!
My butt-cheeks really hurt!
Seifer: Lookey 'ere,
madam! I gotta go back to class on my
home planet, so let me go!!!
Quistis: (Sighs) I
suppose, since you don't listen to me.
Go back home. Tell all the kids
that I said hi. Bye.
Seifer takes one last look at his beloved Instructor Trepe,
and turns to leave. Sorrow filled his
heart, as he reminisced of all the good times he had with her, being whipped
and shouted at, learning the hard way biology and English. Still, there was no place like home; ah,
yes, home! Where the chocobos warble
and the moogles dance, where the moombas learned how to talk (Laguna! Laguna!
Where for art thou Laguna! Teach
me more Shakespeare dude!), and, of course, to the delightful calls of his
friends back in Garden…
Selphie:
Seifer! Hey, DUDE!!! (No response from the sleeping Seifer). Um…Hey!
To be or not to be…finish it off.
Seifer: Huh? …Uh, if Britney be the food of music,
somebody gag her…Zzzzzz
Disclaimer: I do not
own these characters, they belong to Squaresoft. P.Diddy underwear ranges are owned by Mr. P. Diddy himself, I
don't own the song, and I rearranged it.
As for Mary's (There's Something About Mary) vibrator…well, I definitely
don't want to own that!!! She can keep
it! Angel Delight is Angel Delight and
is probably owned by some rich geezer somewhere.
And I do not think Seifer is a dweeb before everyone tries
to tell me that, but he's not one of my favourite characters in the game. Don't forget to review! Pweesh?
o_o
