Rotten

Disclaimer: This chapter contains bullying, abuse, rape, and suicidal thoughts.

Words: 3,389

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Bildungsroman -

A Novel that traces a character's development from childhood to adulthood, taking the reader through the characters formative years/experiences.

The name is Ciel. Ciel Phantomhive to be specific. I'm 16 right now, living off the streets like a rat. People hiss and kick me aside like the scum of the earth. But I didn't do anything wrong.

I was nine years old when my parents left me. They died in a fire, a house fire. Leaving me with nothing but their ashes that sat at my feet, slowly running off with the wind that caught in my hair. I was left with the feeling of sorrow and doubt, like nothing could raise me from the hell that surrounded me.

That night I watched the sun set, watching the world quietly end the day that took everything away from me. Why didn't the world stop? Why didn't it cry for me? It just went on, the day closed its doors, shut off its lights and put everyone to bed.

I slumped along the empty sidewalks, feeling nothing but the numbness that has eaten my body. But, for some reason, no tears left me. It's not like I tried not to cry, I just couldn't. Couldn't smile, couldn't cry, I never showed any emotion.

That's what they would call me back in school, "boy with no emotion". The boy you could kick and shove and they wouldn't even flinch. They were like hawks, feeding off the reactions they didn't get. It stopped when one incident changed my life forever.

I was washing my hands in the bathroom, when three boys came stumbling in. Looking like they've been drinking all night, and clearly not in a good mood. Once they caught sight of me, smirks erupted on their faces.

"Look who it is, little Ciel," one of them laughed as they shoved me into the wall, holding me by the front of my white collared shirt.

"We have a treat for you Ciel," the one with blond hair laughed as he took out an eye dropper. It was filled with a strange purple liquid and I knew something bad would happen.

This was the first time in my life I felt fear. I started to shake and I grabbed the hand that held me to the stone-cold wall.

The boy flinched at the touch, moving his hand to my throat and slowly wrapping it tighter and tighter.

"Hurry, before the boy faints," he muttered to the blond. The other boy, who had been watching the whole time, came over to my right side. Reaching over for my left eye and opening it wide open.

I let out a shriek as I felt the eye dropper come closer and closer. Soon, a drop came right to my eye, and it felt like acid was sprayed right into it. I let out a horrid scream, letting it pierce everyone near. I clawed at the hand that held me down, growling and screaming, kicking my legs at the boys chest.

He let go of me and I scrambled to the sink, feeling the eye to my left slowly loose sight with every inch. I scrubbed my eye, not feeling it help at all. Slowly I stopped every movement in my body, and looked up into the cracked mirror. My eye was left with no color, except the light faint color of purple that lingered around my pupil. I stared at myself for about ten minutes before letting out a high pitched scream. For the first time in my life I screamed.

The boys couldn't even move a muscle. Finally they see me, in pain, as the horror of everything in my life swept over me.

They caused me all the pain I felt at that time. Making my life feel like shit. It was all of them. Everyone in my school. Now they can see me, and they understand my true pain.

That was when the bullying stopped. That's when they realized they were being blinded the whole time. Of course, I never forgave them. I hated them. Glared at them in the hallways, and never said a word to them.

"How are you feeling?" Asked a young girl in my grade. She had crisp blonde hair, it hung down to the side of her face, curling at the bottom. She wore a bright smile, as she sat next to me.

I said nothing, sat in complete silence as I let her feel how I felt. Every time someone asked me something, they received no answer. Just the sound of my their own voices. That's how I felt, I never received any answers in my life. I always sat in my thoughts, everyday.

"My name is Emma, I was hoping we could be friends..." She said, twirling her thumb on my desk.

Again, no answer.

I sat there, praying to whatever god out there to be left alone. That's all I wanted from the beginning, was to be left alone. But did I get it? No. So, if I don't get what I want, why should they get what they want?

Ever since the incident with my eye, they have all been crowding around me, wanting to be my friend. Always chiding me, getting into my face about things I didn't even want.

"I understand how you feel, I was bullied a lot too," she said. I gave her a glare. No you weren't. No one in this whole damn school went through the same pain as I did. How would you understand. I don't need to receive sympathy. My parents already gave me enough sympathy, even when I asked for none.

There was no one in this world who understood the hell I have been through.

Slowly I walked around the corner, agreeing it was safe. I curled into a ball and let myself fall into a peaceful sleep. I needed it. I lost my eye-sight in one eye, I was bullied my whole life, and now I just lost my parents. Most people would commit suicide if they were me. I know. But to me that is just giving up. I refuse to give up that easily. I let the algid wind sweep me into my dreams.

I also dreamed about my future. Seeing me become rich and popular, becoming an aristocrat of sorts. I love it. I have a lot of money, and everything I wanted. People always told me, especially my parents, money can not buy you happiness.

Hell with them, they all knew they were lying right through their teeth. I hate those type of people. Dovish people. People who thought they could find happiness through living it to the fullest every day. The only way to get through this world is by fighting.

I scrimmage with people. Besides there are only two types of people; people who steal, and those who get stolen from. And I am the person who steals from everyone. This world has stolen enough from me as it is, all by force. Half my eyesight, my childhood, my parents, and my virginity.

At the age of 13 I was raped.

I walked along the shops in the center street. The shops were bricked into patterns as they had giant windows, showing all sorts of goodies you could spoil yourself on.

Today, I was looking at a puffy wool coat. It was black with white puffy material around the hems. It was around Christmas season, so it was very chilly.

I stared and stared at the coat, longing for it to be around my tiny form. I looked around. Seeing the trees around the sidewalk sparkle as they were draped with Christmas lights. I could hear the faint choir singing "silent night" and the old man dressed as Santa Claus ringing his bell, asking for donations.

I sighed, wishing everyone just to disappear. I just wanted to be warm, and live a happy life. But here I am clawing at a window, trying to get at the coat.

"That's a nice coat you found there," came a deep voice behind me. I whipped around to see a young man. He had incandescent yellow eyes. His dark black hair, slicked back some strands running down the side of his face. He wore a tuxedo, and just by the look of it, it cost a lot of money. He pushed his glasses to the brim of his nose, then got on eye level with me.

I took my hands and help them close, seeing my breathe in front of us, fogging up the vision as I tried to calm down.

No one has talked to me since I've been out on the streets. I was like a ghost or like the pellucid water that lapped up at the rocks underneath the bridge. No one noticed.

"My name is Claude, what is your name?" He asked, as a small smile formed on his lips.

I played with the hem of my shirt, "my name is Ciel Phantomhive."

"My my," he exclaimed, ruffling the hair on my head. I looked up as our eyes met. I could see his eyes twinkle, as the Christmas lights danced around us. "Now, how about we find your parents and get you home."

I felt like a wave of sorrow sweep over me. I held my hands over my chest as my eyes started to get watery, "I- I-" I stuttered, trying to calm down, "I- my parents are dead."

The man looked at me before asking the question I hate the most, "how long have you been out on the streets?"

"Ever since the age of nine, sir." I say, feeling myself slowly ease into feeling comfortable around him. He smiled, again, before placing a hand on my left cheek, and stroking it. I slowly let the warmth that he had wrap around me, before I felt him try to move the strands of my hair away from my left eye.

I grabbed his hand and screamed a high pitched, "don't touch me!"

He looked at me, shocked at what just happened. He removed his hand from me, and slowly wrapped it around my form. He pulled me into a hug, as tears fell out of my eyes freely.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," I cried as he hugged me even tighter. I didn't bother to hug back, I didn't deserve this.

"It's alright," he started, rubbing my back soothingly. "Why don't you come home with me?"He pulled back, looking into my eyes.

'I don't know about this', I thought as he got up. He gave off a buoyant smile, one you could fall for any second. And I fell for it. Slowly walked towards him, as he stretched his hand out. I looked back at him one last time, before looking at his hand. My hand slowly secured itself in his, and I felt all the warmth radiate from it.

The man seemed like the kindest person in the world, but boy was I wrong. It seems he mistakes his oleaginous for charm.

When we got to his house, after a long car ride, he led me in. I looked at my surroundings. A chandelier dangled down the middle of the curling. Two stair case swirled around the side of the room, meeting together right in the back. A large door stood between both staircases, and at the back. He grabbed my hand and whispered a low, "come with me."

"Claude! Are you back?" Came a voice from behind the door in front of us. It slammed open, revealing an all too perky blond headed boy. No, it couldn't be..

My mind slowly flashed back to the night when I lost my eyesight. It was the same boy. The same fucking boy. I stared at him for about a minute, before dashing for the exit. But Claude was all too quick. He grabbed me by my waist and hoisted me over his shoulder.

The blond smirked, as he walked over to us. I could hear each step click against the marble floor, emitting through the whole room.

"Well, well... If it isn't Ciel! Nice to see you again!" He laughed. Claude put me down in front of him, holding my shoulders so I wouldn't run off. The boy giggled at the sight, before coming over and pushing the hair over my eye out of my face. I squirmed in the hold, trying my best to get away, but my body was all to weak.

"Such a beautiful color for your eye. So beautiful. So felicitous," he murmured as he cupped my left cheek with his palm, stroking near my blinded eye.

I let out a squeak as he touched me. Before trying to escape again. But it was no use. I couldn't even do anything, as he placed his other hand on my face, making me look straight at him.

He gave a smile before cooing, "don't worry." Fuck off. Of course I'm going to worry. His sapphire eyes twinkled as the chandelier above him twirled in its place. I stared at them for the longest before noticing him leaning down and kissing my lips.

I was absolutely disgusted. I kept on trying to pull back, but my strength was nothing in comparison to his. He snaked a hang around the back of my head, running it through my dark blue locks. He pushed me back towards him as he shoved his tongue down my throat. I felt like I was going to be sick.

I let the tears run down my face as he explored every part of my mouth. He felt the wet tears on my face and pulled back, a string of saliva between our lips. I almost threw up, but I knew I had to keep it in. If I didn't, I would end up worse.

He pulled back and watched as I let the tears run down my face, humiliating myself completely. I got a feeling in my stomach. A tantamount feeling that this was going to end as badly as when I was nine.

"Don't cry, you should be happy." He said, as he ruffled my hair. I scrunched my face at the feeling. He slowly leaned into my ear letting fate hit me, "you're going to be fucked by the best person ever, me."

At the end of the day, I was left with nothing but my shredded clothes that clung to my sweaty figure. A pool of dried blood and cum circled around me and my eyes slowly opened, and I looked at my surroundings. I was on a wooden floor, in an empty room with nothing but the lights that hung off the marble wall.

'Is this were I die', I asked myself as I felt my torn body slowly slip from the present time. 'Do I get nothing more but a repulsive death filled with lament and mistakes? To have never felt the feeling of devotedness or blessedness?'

Even Alois said I was a disappointment. I didn't even moan out his name as he tried to pleasure me, in the end just caused me more pain. He wanted something, I wasn't willing to give to him.

I slowly let time take me away, hugging onto whatever life I have left in me. Soon falling into a darkness of frigid winter.

Pain. Aching pain is the first thing I feel when I wake up. I'm not dead? How? I let a bright light enter my vision as I see where I am. I'm in the same room I was in before but... I'm clean? I sit to see I was bathed and clothed. 'Thank The Lord," I thought as I look around. A note seems to be nailed to the door.

I slowly try to get up, only feeling immense pain from my backside. I end up stumbling and falling back down. I nod to myself, agreeing that I have to get up. Have to. I get on my wobbly legs and wobble my way to the doors. Once I arrived at the Mahogany door, I look at the note,

"Dead Ciel,
Claude and I are going out for a bit, so no running off! All the doors are locked so good luck!
Thank you,
Alois Trancy"

He's gone. I need to run. Run now. I hobble my way over to the window on the other side of the room. 2nd story isn't too bad, right? I agree to myself, breaking the window with my bare fist, not caring about the shards that scratched at my skin. I jumped out, landing on the freshly mowed grass.

Then I run. Run. Run. I ignore the pain in my backside as I run. I don't stop running. Feeling the wind whip my face as I run through the forest that surrounds Alois's house. Run. Run. Don't stop running. Run. Run...

I wake up,again, in the middle of the forest. Hearing the chirping of the birds as if they are greeting me 'hello'.

'Thud'

I quickly jump around, spinning my whole body in another way, to see an apple has fallen off the tree nearby. So that's what that tangy smell was. I sniff at the apple before feeling my mouth water. I grab the apple and start munching on it, letting the juice run down my hands, as I slurped and suckled at the food.

I sighed once I finished, that was a nice treat. Getting up, I look to see anything near by, but all I see is nothing but the empty woods that laid before me. I mentally punched myself, not knowing where to go, I decided to let my nose take the lead and follow the smell of oil and gas.

Skipping around trees and battling my way through vines, I find myself at a road. A glowing sign read, "Lake city". I smiled, letting the words sink in, I was close to a city. And again, I ran. I couldn't stop. I needed to be as far away I can from the hell-hole that left me with nothing. I approach a building, that was bricked all around, then another. And another. And another! Soon they were on every side of me. I twirled in circles, letting the lights dance around me. For the first time in my life, I felt okay. I was away from the danger of Alois and was in the warmth of the city. It may seem strange, but the city made me feel warm.

I slowly turned the corner, there was the window with the jacket. A huge grin formed on my face as I skipped down to the window. I placed my hands on the glass staring at the coat.

After what felt like hours I left, knowing I was never going to own such an item in my life. I went into the alley I always did, and laid down on the gravel beneath me. This was much better than were I was before. Much better.

I have lived the rest of my days scourging the city for whatever I need. Peeking into garbage cans and waiting for people to drop money as they passed by me. I would wait until it wasn't as crowded to go to a local bakery and smell all the bread that sat behind the glass. It smelt like heaven. I wish I could be surrounded by this forever. But sooner or later and old lady with a broom would come out and whack me with a broom until I left.

This is how I lived my life everyday. And here we come to the present time of my age now, 16.

I'm sitting by a pond, water tickling my feet. I looked completely flushed with dark bags under my eyes. I'm thin to a point I should be dead and I have dirt over every patch of me. But I didn't care, I still enjoyed life to the fullest.

I grabbed a stick and flicked the water around, watching the droplets dance around.

At that moment I felt a presence next to me, I look up to see a young man with ruby eyes, staring right at me as he crouched down. He had a black suit on that matched the same color of his hair. He looked at me and smiled.

"Hello, young man."

Hello everyone, welcome to the first chapter of this fanfic. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed. I have never done a story like this before so wish me luck, it'll be a wild ride. Haha, I hope to see a lot of improvement from this story! In the end I will be more advanced! So, thank you for reading! Keep smiling - Jamie

みなさん、こんにちは、このファンフィックの第一章を歓迎します。お読みいただきありがとうございました、と私はあなたが楽しんで願っています。私は私に幸運をお祈りする前に、それは野生に乗るだろう、このような話をやったことがない。ハハ、私はこの物語から改善の多くを見てほしい！最後に、私はより高度になります！だから、読んでいただきありがとうございます！笑みを浮かべておいてください - ジェイミー