"How old was that Cullen kid, anyway?" Jacob wanted to know. My head began to spin, and rapidly. Cullen, Cullen, Cullen. What was the name of that Cullen, the one that I was always trying to forget?

Edward.

The gaping wound in my chest doubled in size, and I grabbed at my torso futilely, trying to numb the pain. Edward left me. He didn't want me, not because he thought it wasn't safe for me. He didn't want me because I wasn't good enough for him. And, though I could fix the former, the latter was a gap that I, imperfect human that I was, could not fill. Not ever.

Get it together, Bella. Jake is staring at you with that worried look, I thought sourly. "S-s-s-seventeen," I stuttered, avoiding eye contact.

"See," he continued cautiously, "Only on year's difference between the two of us."

"Yeah," I agreed half-heartedly, because half of a heart was about all I had left. "T-technically. But Edward was a hundred and nine years old, if you want to get specific. B-besides, it isn't about age, anyway."

Instead of asking me what I meant by that, like I half expected him to, Jake just stared into my eyes, silent as death. "What is it about him that makes you like this, Bella?" he asked finally, pain strong on his voice. "Why do you stutter when you talk now, and why do you hold your arm like that, like… like you're holding yourself together? Like you're afraid you're going to fall apart? What kind of power does he have?"

I decided not to argue. Everything he said was the truth. "I c-can't live without him, Jake," I sobbed, my hands reaching for him, any part of him to hold onto. He willingly obliged, wrapping his tanned, muscular arms around my shaking frame.

"You're wrong," he whispered defiantly. "You're wrong, Bella. You just don't know how to live without him yet."

"No!" I shouted, shaking my head against his defined chest. "No, you don't understand!"

Jacob held me at arm's length, tilting my chin up so that our eyes met again. "Then explain it to me, Bella. Make me understand."

I was breathing heavily now, my chest heaving up and down with the effort. I was about to shatter, and Jake was going to need a heavy-duty vacuum cleaner to clean up all the Bella pieces in his driveway. How could I make him understand? He was so young, and so naïve. Or so I thought.

"He left because I wasn't good enough," I said inaudibly. Jake tilted his head toward my face.

"What did you say, Bella? I didn't hear you."

"He. Left. Me. Because. I wasn't. good. Enough. For him," I forced through clenched teeth. Huge, fat tears spilled over my cheeks as his dark cheeks turned from light brown to crimson red.

"You're kidding me," he spat.

I stared at my Jacob, incredulous. "You think I'm joking around?" I scoffed. "Jacob, have you seen me? And have you seen him? There are… are vampires out there that make me look like fish sticks compared to lobster! I-I-I… he… I…"

Jacob pulled me to him once again when I started to splutter incoherently. I heaved a sigh before jerking backward and wiping the liquid off of my face furiously. "I'm leaving."

"Oh, no you don't," Jacob protested, holding the driver's side door of my truck out of my reach. "You're in no condition to drive."

I unfastened my seatbelt, hopped down from the cab, and turned to face him, venom in my eyes. "Jacob Black, let's get one thing straight," I commanded, my voice quivering more than my body. "I am eighteen years old, legally old enough to drive. That also constitutes that I am a legal adult, therefore capable of making my own adult decisions. You, however, are sixteen, making you a minor. Basically, a child. Adult," I said, pointing to myself, and then to him, "Child. Now, if you'll please unhand my door."

He let go then, gaping speechlessly. I sighed. "I love you, Jake," I admitted quietly. "I'll be back tomorrow."

He nodded, waving goodbye.

"Jake," Bella breathed, whispering my name in that weird way of hers. "You have to do something for me."

"Have to?" I teased, knowing full well that I would not be denying any reasonable request that she had for me. "Is this you pulling your adult authority card?" Suddenly, the conversation became tense. She paused, breathing heavily into the receiver. "Kidding, Bells," I assured her quickly.

"Oh," she said. "Well, what do you want, Jake?"

I groaned inwardly, recognizing the signs of her new crazy, Cullen-based psychological disorder. "Bella, you called me, remember?"

"Uhh, yeah," she corrected herself, acting as if nothing had happened. But it had, I thought sickly. It had, and it was getting worse and worse. If only she'd let me help her. I could hold her together just as well, if not better, than Cullen could. "Mike, he wants to go to the movies Friday night."

"So… you called me because some kid wants to take you on a date? Are you asking for my permission, Bella? Because you're the adult in this situation," I attempted to lighten the mood. It worked, sort of. She giggled.

"No, actually, the whole gang's going… but I want you to be there… to," she said. I grinned triumphantly. So that was it, then? She wanted me. About time, too.

"Sure, Bells. You know I'd do anything for you."

She exhaled loudly. "Thanks, Jake. I owe you one. Well, I guess I'll see you Friday night. I'll pick you up at around… eight."

"How about I pick you up?" I laughed.

"Sure," she agreed, monotonous. "Eight."

"Eight."

"See you then, Jake," she said, hanging up the phone before I could add an afterthought.

"I love you, Bella," I admitted to the dial tone on the other line.

"I think I'm going to throw up!" Mike Newton exclaimed, rushing out of the theatre, hand on mouth. Jake laughed loudly.

"Shh," I demanded, stifling a giggle of my own. "Shh, Jake, it isn't funny! Be nice!" But I couldn't help it. The two of us broke out into a round of hysterics, earning a disapproving look from all of the audience members around us.

"I think we'd better go check on Mike," Jake suggested, leading the way into the crowded lobby.

I nodded, letting him take me to the mirrored staircase located next to the men's restroom. He smiled at me nervously, grabbing my hand. I pulled away nonchalantly.

"What?" he asked, "I can't hold your hand?"

He just didn't get it, did he? "Of course you can," I nodded. "I just think it means something a little different to you."

Jake turned his face away, coming to sit down beside me. I sighed contentedly. He was so warm, and this was the Jacob I knew. He was my Jacob, and for some reason I wanted him to stay that way forever. Maybe if he never talked again…

"Bella," he whispered passionately. It was officially ruined. Why must everything in my life be so complicated? "I know what he did to you. But I'll never do that. I'll never let you down, Bella."

It was at that moment that I realized that, more than anything, I wanted to believe him. Ed-Ed… the Cullens had left a void when they left, and all I wanted was for Jake to be the one to fill it. I knew that he loved me so much, and he could have made me feel better, if only I'd let him in.

"I can't risk it again, Jake," I told him sadly, tears swimming in my eyes.

"Risk what, Bella?" he question, stroking my hair gently. "There's no risk with me. I made you a promise, and I intend to keep my word. I'll never hurt you."

Mike cleared his throat loudly, letting the two of us know that he was back. "I need to go home," he declared, his face a putrid green color. Jake growled at him. "Dude, what's your problem?"

"Right now, you're my problem!" Jake exclaimed, jumping up to face him. "Feeling sick? Maybe you need to go to the hospital! Want me to put you in the hospital?"

"Whoa," I cautioned, holding Jacob back with a hand to the chest. As if I could actually stop Jake if he wanted to do something bad enough. "Jake, you're hot. You feel like you have a fever. Are you okay?"

"I don't know what's happening," he admitted quietly, and for a split second, he was Jacob Black, a scared, sixteen-year old guy. "I need to go."

"I'm taking you home, Jake," I protested, reaching out to grab his bicep as he turned away.

"I brought the Rabbit," he told me.

"Well then…" I paused. "You take me home. I don't feel like driving by myself tonight," I lied easily.

Jake shrugged. "Fine, I'll come by and get your truck tomorrow." Score!

"Thanks, Jake. You're the best," I buttered him up some more. Maybe I could get him to talk to me on the ride home. He smiled the crooked Jacob-smile that I love and wrapped me in a bear hug. I laughed a real laugh for the first time that night. Mike cleared his throat yet again.

"I guess we'd better be on our way," I suggested ruefully.

"What about me?" Mike whined, looking at me as if I had the answer he was looking for. "I can't drive myself home. I'm sick as a dog."

It took all of my self-restraint not to go off on him right then and there. Didn't he know that I didn't care about his weak, girly stomach right now? I had bigger problems, like the fact that Jake was shaking like he couldn't control himself. I had to find out was wrong with him, because, honestly, when it came down to it, Mike meant nothing to me compared to Jacob.

"I'm sure you'll be fine," I said, all but shoving him out into the lobby. "All you need is some good old fashioned bed rest, Mike. Now get going."

I felt bad about being so rude to him, really, I did. But I was starting to panic. Jake was breathing heavily, and actually leaning on me for support.

"But, Beellllaaaa," he pleaded shamelessly.

"Go, Mike," I commanded, finally losing my patience. "I think Jake needs to go to the hospital."

Mike huffed just like Jessica would before stomping out into the cold. Somehow, despite the gnawing guilt in the pit of my stomach, I couldn't bring myself to care. I had bigger fish to fry. For instance, Jacob was now passed out at my feet.

A/N: Okay, so I know it's a little rough, but basically it follows the New Moon plot in the beginning, but obviously there's a little twist that's eventually going to lead away from it. I'm a huge supporter of Team Jacob, but even if you aren't I want reviews! Good reviews, bad reviews, it's all the same to me. In return, I promise a better, clearer, more interesting chapter next time,(:

REVIEW!

C.J.