"Meet Me On The Other Side."
This is a One-shot. I heard these songs and just couldn't get a certain scene out of my head thus I began writing this piece, A little something for all my NALU fans. ENJOY!
WARNINGS: contains sexual content and swearing and some OOC. All characters belong to Hiro Mashima nor do i own the music i used.
I stared off into space as I'm lying down on the grass; trees surrounding me… its weird how I feel confined being surrounded by so many trees yet cold and empty at the same time.
Cold because its night time and as the wind passes by, for some reason when it does the breeze the trees give off is much colder than the wind itself…
I mean I'm no fucking scientist but I say it's because of the leaves on the branch.
Mhm… maybe I can Google this shit up?
Besides… nowadays what don't people Google?
Exactly… everything and anything because Google is like god.
Anyways, I feel empty because I'm here alone.
But don't I prefer it that way?
Just me, myself and I… I mentally hit myself for quoting Beyonce songs.
What do I even want anymore… it's a problem if even I don't know the answer to that…
Could I possibly be able to Google that up?
"YO LUCY!"
Ah… yes, I knew who was calling out my name right now like that.
Only one person… Natsu, of course!
I slowly moved my head towards my right looking at Natsu who currently had Lisanna wrapped around him, her arms around his neck while Natsu held one of her legs by his hip. She was currently looking away too fucking busy sucking on his neck while grinding on him like the world would end tomorrow and this would be her only chance to fuck him.
I rolled my eyes instantaneously at that.
Whatever…
I saw Natsu winking at me indicating that he was going to get some tonight. He stuck out his tongue while grinding back a bit harder while pointing at Lisanna.
I bet you're wondering who this idiot is.
Well… that's my best friend.
We're currently at the magnolia forest camping site with all of our friends having a bonfire while doing typical teenager shit. Music in the background playing while everyone got shit faced, made-out, jumped into the lake, smoked or had sex.
These were the good times.
Or so I thought.
I was having fun… loads of it till I don't know, I decided that I needed a breather hence why I'm currently on my back starring up at the dark, dark sky.
Wow… was all that my mind could speak as I looked up… the sky was filled with an infinite amount of stars… so breathtaking.
I realized I wasn't looking at Natsu anymore and back to the midnight blanket up above me.
I was getting sick of dealing with Natsu and these emotions that battled in me, I needed this distraction.
The night sky… it was so beautiful.
I found it like an enigma.
I extended my hand outwards wishing I could be able to grab onto a star.
I felt a presence next to me suddenly, next, I felt warmth.
I looked up to see Natsu was there next to me, a lit cigarette in his left hand and a Heineken in his right.
"Mind telling me why ya acting like an emo?" he took a sip… well, more like he gulped it down resulting in a bit of the beer escaping the confines of his mouth and making a trail from the corner of his mouth down to his jaw then his neck.
I unknowingly licked my lips.
I could almost taste the beer right off of his skin and I bet that it tasted just as delicious as it looked.
I could distinctly hear the song Vindata – All I Really Need beginning to play closer to where the bonfire was at.
Fuck, I loved this song!
The beats are so melodic and smooth, not to mention Kenzie May's voice was a killer, her voice fit the song and beats perfectly.
"Well are ya gonna answer me or you're also a mute now?"
I looked a little bit higher meeting his gaze but found that I couldn't really hold eye contact with him at the moment.
I knew I held emotions and feelings for Natsu that a best friend really shouldn't.
I lusted after this man.
Jesus Christ, the fantasies my mind would conjure.
The endless nights I spent awake trying to will such dirty thoughts away.
Yet they didn't stop… it was something that I couldn't control.
I really took in the sight of him, the fire giving his skin a golden glow, his muscular arms prepped on his knees, he was currently wearing his favorite t-shirt, it was of pink Floyd with the logo of his album 'The Dark Side Of The Moon' on it. It was black with the triangle in the middle of the shirt with the light going through it then in all white capital letters Pink Floyd on top then the album name at the bottom. Natsu had cut off the sleeves because he hated them. I thanked the gods up above for giving him such an idea because the way his upper body was hunched forward and how his shirt was cut a bit lower allowed me to get a view of his muscular chest and abs. His outfit was complete with black fitted jeans and his classic high top converse.
Damn it…
Deciding I was bound to get too distracted I continued on with my trail.
I could see his size 4 gauge stretchers poking his neck a bit as he had his head tilted to the side to look at me. They were black with yellow and red swirls all around it. I let my eyes make a trail from his ear to his jaw then onto to his lips which were a pale pink, slim yet plump and full. He licked them briefly making them look far too inviting at the moment. They looked so enticing.
Ugh… brain, STOP IT!
I sighed and continued to look at him. My eyes avoided looking into his as they went up to his hair next.
Natsu had recently shaved of his hair on the sides to get a Mohawk; he styled it messy and going towards the front of his head instead of upwards.
He looked even more alluring and desirable.
This guy was a killer… a killer with a killer body accompanied with a killer face as well.
A triple threat.
Not good.
I finally forced my gaze to meet his and breathed in deeply at the intensity his eyes held. If they wanted to they could strip down all the walls I had around me. His eyes were so captivating, so dark… almost midnight in color… black as space.
His eyes were like black holes, and just like black holes- they would suck up everything in their path leaving you with no form of an escape.
He was the light that I was attracted to… I was a moth captured by the brightness his bulb would emanate. So much intensity radiating, it was impossible to ignore.
Yet as the tension grew and I got closer to him I knew that just like the moth I would get burned.
Burned and hurt… possibly die from messing with the killer light.
But just like it I wouldn't learn my lesson, how could I stay away when the light was all that my vision could see?
"Shut up…"
"Two questions and that's all that you can come up with?" he finally broke the eye contact allowing me to breathe normally once again. "You should be happy… I left a good lay back there to come check up on you!"
I snorted loudly while smacking him lightly on his arm. "That was your fault… you should have taken her because lord knows Lisanna wouldn't get caught fucking you sober."
"Luce, allow me to stop you right there for a sec," he took a drag from his cigarette as he wiggled an eyebrow at me causing me to roll my eyes. "You and I both know, that she just wouldn't be caught admitting to wanting me so damn bad."
"You are so bad, you dick."
"…"
He looked at me for a second letting the smoke out in one long breath as he stared at me. Innocence taking over his face looking offended at my comment.
"Oh, don't look at me like that, like if I said a lie. You know you took the wrong turn to church a long, LONG, LONG time ago Natsu," I propped myself up on my elbows planting them firmly on the ground beneath me as I looked at him better. "Go fake innocence with someone who doesn't know you, the real you."
"Do you really see me that way Lucy?" he asked out of nowhere. I furrowed my eyebrows scanning his face for a lie yet I found out that he was completely serious.
"Natsu…"
"Do you really see me as a bad guy?" he leaned in closer towards me till we were only centimeters from making lip contact. "Because you're the only one who really knows me for me."
He always did this.
Pushed my limits… pushed them till they could no longer be pushed and I exploded.
Didn't he know- realized the effect he had on me?
"No…" I spoke softly as his eyes bored into mines, seeking… seeking something that I was unsure I could provide. "And you know that…"
My body was burning up with desire. My mind was foggy from the five beers I drank earlier in the night. I felt heat coursing through me as I just stared at him. My fingers twitching and itching to just grab him and kiss him dumb.
I craved to feel his burning touch on my skin.
I craved to feel his lips on me.
I wanted all of it so much but I didn't want to cross that line… not with him at least. Natsu was my rock; he was what held me up during the times when my body forgot how to even work its limbs. Everyone knows once you cross that line you can never go back…
If something bad happened and I lost him completely I don't know what would become of me… he just meant so much to me I was willing to keep my fantasies and love at bay. That's why it didn't matter if I saw him occasionally do his own thing with other girls because it wasn't as if I was a saint… no, quite the contrary actually, although don't get me wrong I wasn't a whore or anything but in my lifetime I've been with three guys who have all been my boyfriends and well the occasionally making-out at a club or ghetty.
As a matter a fact I was recently hung-over from my break-up with Loke. We had been together on and off for about two years now.
Natsu detested the guy and once he almost fist fought him for catching him banging a chick at a club one time in the bathroom when I was away on a family trip with my father.
Although I knew what I felt for Natsu I also admit to loving Loke as well… I mean I was with the guy for two years.
Love was bound to happen maybe not as intense as with Natsu but just as present.
It hurt.
It still hurts.
I suddenly felt my eyes prickling with tears. I could see Natsu frowning before my vision got blurred with the unshed tears.
"Stop thinking about him."
"I don't know how."
"He didn't deserve you Luce… why would you cry for trash like him?"
"Because two years is still a lot of time that you spend with a person" I felt my cheeks getting wet and hot. I wiped my nose a bit with the jacket sleeve of right arm. "Because feelings still form regardless during that amount of time…"
"Well then how about you just stop throwing your love away like that and save it for the one who wants it?"
"Who would even want somebody like me? I don't have anything to offer and you know it."
"You're wrong."
"I mean look at what I'm doing with my life… this isn't what I want…"
"Then we stop... just that simple Luce." I saw him from my peripheral vision dropping the cigarette he had been smoking into the beer bottle then settling it on the ground next to him.
"I don't know what I want from my life… I feel as if I have no place that is meant to be mines you know… I'm lost."
I sat up straight crossing my legs wiping my tears off my face with the sleeves of my jacket when I felt a warm, inviting warm arm go around me pulling me close to a certain body I was trying to avoid.
"You have me… consider me your GPS I'll guide you to where your heart is destined to be at."
I felt him press a kiss on the top of my head.
"We're young… So is not so bad to not know what we want yet."
I felt the tears fall down uncontrollably now as I gripped onto him and his furnace of a body. He felt like home. This was where my heart led me to…
But I could never say that.
"Jeez, why you gotta be such an emotional drunk Luce…" his words held no bite or ill intent, I buried my face deeper into his chest as I wrapped my arms around his waist. I was inhaling deeply, letting his smell calm me down.
I loved his smell, it was intoxicating… he smelled of summer nights and spice with the lingering smell of his Irish spring soap. I could never get enough. It was my favorite smell. Although at the moment it was mixed with the cigarette smell since he had been smoking.
I let my eyes flutter close as I inhaled silently but deeply, letting the smell seep into my memory. I could feel his hand petting and playing with my hair.
Natsu was such a good friend and I didn't deserve that…
I would never cross that line and risk this.
Besides regardless of how much I wanted him I knew that he didn't want me back that way because if he had he would have made a move a long, long time ago.
Yet somehow that thought made my heart sank a bit more in the pit of my sadness.
I woke up, feeling familiar warmth next to me. Although I was still fighting my sleepiness away I could faintly take notice of an arm wrapped around my waist. It was firm and unrelenting. I slowly opened my eyes and came face to face with Natsu, right there, starring back down at me. He looked awake to my still blurry and groggy eyes.
Why is he starring at me like that?
I tried to shift a little but as soon as I tried I felt the arm that was around me tighten more.
"Don't."
I looked up letting my eyes meet his; I was snuggled up against him. My hands pressed up on his chest which was bare at the moment. He was so warm, cozy and that feeling of coming home hit me so hard at that moment.
Our legs were in a tangled mess mixed with the bed sheets. I glanced down and noticed that yes, he had on his jeans and I had on my high-waisted shorts but I also noticed something very obviously poking out.
Natsu was hard…
I diverted my eyes from there to look at the scar that Natsu had on his neck, it seemed to become something of high interest at the moment even though I had seen it a million of times before. My breath hitched as I felt the hand that he had around me slowly make a trail up my clothed back.
It would burn wherever he touched… the feeling lingering on my skin.
I still couldn't look at him as I felt the wondering hand now making its trail up my arm. My heart was beating erratically in the confinements of my chest.
Anticipation…
That's what I felt.
His fingers tickled my neck as they brushed the locks of hair I had behind. He ran his fingers through my hair for a bit before speaking softly.
"Look at me…"
I obliged him immediately even though I was terrified at the moment at what the action would cause. Yet, I still glanced upwards, brown meeting onyx. My breath was ripped out of my chest.
He had this look. It was something there different from all of the other times that just made me want to turn to putty in his hands. His lips were parted a bit and as I felt his palm resting on my cheek I let my eyes flutter close and unknowingly lean towards it. I could feel his thumb caressing me by my left side temple.
I felt his bed shifting a bit and found myself closer to him if that was even possible. His warmth threatening to suffocate me, I still kept my eyes closed. I felt his forehead touch mines and I parted my lips letting him know I granted him permission to do whatever it was that he was planning on doing…
This was wrong and I knew it.
The line was this close to being erased.
Yet none of that mattered once I felt his lips ghosting on mines before closing the distance completely.
I responded in a heartbeat as I felt his slightly chapped lips move against my own. It was slow at first, tentative- almost as if we were testing the waters we never dared to cross before. I let one of my hands caress his chest and drift upwards settling on the back of his neck, playing with the hair from his Mohawk at the nape. The action caused a low groan to escape Natsu's lips causing the kiss to become more intense and deeper than before. I felt him pressing his lips more firmly as he shifted us a bit; I was laying on my back now with half of his body me.
I could clearly feel his hard-on on my right thigh. The mere fact that I could feel it made me suddenly become extremely aroused. I felt nips on my bottom lip and a bit of tongue right behind the set of teeth. I licked his bottom lip then delved into his mouth coming into contact with his own tongue.
The kiss became hungry and desperate then.
Groans and whimpers escaping my mouth as the way he kissed me was so sinful. The way his lips molded so perfectly with my own, almost as if they were made for only me to kiss.
Passion, Lust, Want… Love, these were all the things that could be felt in this kiss.
His hand started wandering then, leaving my face and beginning a torturous trail down my body it felt like he took forever to reach my chest and even then he didn't immediately grope me like I had wanted him to. His index finger did little circular motions on my skin above the hem of my lacy tank top.
Fuck… I knew he would be a teaser.
Teasing was the nature of our friendship in the first place anyways… of course it would be involved in all the aspects of our activities.
I found myself being quite impatient so I went and bucked up against him a bit feeling him grind down on me right back. I spread my legs apart slowly giving him the hint, to which of course he quickly caught on to. He settled right in between, it was a perfect fit. We began this slow grinding, I rolled my hips up against him causing him to moan, the sound vibrating through our attached mouths. He obviously lost patience and squeezed my breast causing me to whimper and buck up a bit harder against him.
How many times had I imagined this?
Conjuring up so many scenarios where this happened and I had, millions of times of before yet reality was so much better than anything my mind could have possibly came up with.
This kiss was everything that I had needed and more… I never felt so alive; it was as if he was breathing life into me. Desire was pooling in my core… nobody has ever made me feel this way with just a kiss… with just a subtle brush of fingertips.
Not Loke… not anyone just you Natsu.
Yet like all the good things in my life everything had to come to an end.
An abrupt end that is...
All of a sudden, catching us by surprise, there was a loud banging on the door. You could hear Grays booming voice behind it.
"WAKE THE FUCK UP FLAMEBRAIN!" he banged on the door harder now and I let out a yelp while jolting causing me to fall off the bed hitting the wood floor beneath it with a hard thud that resounded all throughout the room. The knocking stopped as we heard Gray speak again.
"Holy shit, Lucy is that you?" then as if impatient to wait for an answer Gray went and opened the door. He was clad standing in only just a pair of blue plaid boxers and his necklace with a cross hanging from the chain around his neck. His neck actually sported a couple of hickeys letting me know he was actually rather quite busy last night with his girlfriend Juvia. His hair was a disheveled mess and it's safe to say that he probably just woke up.
Feeling thoroughly embarrassed but thankful that I was clothed completely, sans my jacket which was currently on Natsu's computer chair, I smiled awkwardly while I looked up at Gray and waved at him.
"What's up?"
"Damn, I forgot that you crashed here last night my bad for knocking—"
"JUST GET THE FUCK OUT ICE-FOR-FUCKING-BRAINS!" Natsu shouted, Gray sneered at him and flicked him off but obeying nonetheless not forgetting to close the door with a soft click.
Suddenly everything came crashing down on me on what had just transpired.
HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID?
Why did I let things go that far? What was I fucking thinking?
I really messed up there.
I needed to get away and think about my actions for a bit.
"Listen Natsu, I forgot that I had plans with my dad today… I gotta go!"
I sprang up from the floor, walked over to the chair and grabbed my cream colored jacket and let my feet slip into my cream colored combat boots.
"Lucy…"
"I really gotta go but I'll talk to you later though, okay?" I looked up at him; he was sitting on his bed with his legs spread out in front of him with his hands supporting him up. He had this knowing look on his face.
We weren't going to talk about what had happened.
We would pretend that it didn't happen and just continue with the way that we were.
I could see the hurt and disappointment flash by quickly in his eyes that left me feeling hollow.
"Yeah… text me, Luce" He said as he moved around in his bed looking for his shirt.
I smiled at him and left.
That line wasn't supposed to be fucking crossed.
I knew that!
I could already feel our friendship shift into awkwardness and that was just from a kiss.
My emotions were clashing and battling violently deep within me as I made my way down Natsu's building, Regret was eating me alive.
The line had been crossed and I don't think it could be overlooked.
"Can't go with ya Luce I got a date with Lis tonight."
I froze mid-step on the sidewalk at what had slipped out of Natsu's mouth.
"Another one?" I asked as I dipped my hands into the pockets of my leather jacket.
It's winter right now in magnolia and I was currently walking home from a movie I had just seen with Gajeel and Levy. I bumped into Natsu on the walk home when I saw him exiting a convenience store, a cigarette box in his hands. He decided to walk me home and I had been attempting to make conversation with him.
Ever since that kiss things just haven't been the same.
There was tension filling the atmosphere every time we were around each other; Sexual tension being the most obvious one.
That kiss had happened three months ago and in those three months I have never felt like more of a stranger to Natsu than I had when we had first met back in middle school.
It was killing me to see how much our friendship was suffering because of this.
"Yeah… I think I'm this close to cracking her resolve and getting her to sleep with me."
Ouch… that hurt.
I could feel my chest constricting tightly at those words.
He was being so indifferent.
I feel like as if he isn't my Natsu anymore.
Am I really loosing the one person who could understand me? Yeah, I am.
I felt anger bubbling in me next… why did that asshole have to always shove his stupid sex-capades in my face all the damn time?
"Seriously is that all you think about?" I blurted out stopping in my tracks deciding to fix my beanie a bit.
"Got a problem with my adventures?" he asked me next in a mocking tone laced with anger.
"Go fuck yourself!"
"Don't need to when I have endless amounts of bitches that would gladly do it for me."
THAT'S IT!
The anger suddenly became unbearable within me and I pushed him harshly, hands clashing with his chest. He stumbled back a bit while looking at me with a shocked face but he recovered rather quickly.
This was the first time in the eight years that I knew him that I had done something to him out of pure anger and distaste.
It was the first time I found myself hating him.
"Aw, is poor little Lucy mad?"
"SHUT UP!"
"NO!" he yelled at me silencing my voice and thoughts immediately. "NO, you wanna start an argument than why don't we actually argue over something that—"
"Don't you dare! Don't you dare bring that up!" I pointed at him as I yelled back.
"Well why not if you're here getting mad at me for going out on a date!"
"I never said I was mad about you dating anyone!"
"So then why are you acting like this then!?" he asked walking closer to me till he was standing right in front me.
"I'm just sick of you being such a player and a pervert is all!" I told him, desperately trying to believe my own lies as they slipped out of my mouth.
"WHAT BULL-SHIT!" he yelled, it came out breathy and he paused at every syllable.
"I'm telling the truth here! I just don't understand why—"My sentence was caught off as he pushed me up against the wall, hands on either side of my head effectively trapping me. His forehead touching mines as he looked deep into my eyes…
"You're such an asshole Lucy. How could you do this to me? To us?" he croaked out next and I could see tears gathering in his eyes.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
I flinched as I could see through the corners of my eyes his hand deliver a harsh punch to the concrete wall. I felt his panting breath hitting me on the tip of my nose. I had a bad feeling that was quickly making itself known present in my gut.
"I can't do this anymore."
My eyes opened up immediately, they were probably the size of saucers right now.
"What?" I whispered, I tilted my head up a bit to look at him better our lips practically touching.
"You heard me. I can't do this… us… whatever it is that we have going on anymore."
"Natsu…"
"I need some time Lucy… I need some time to be alone and figure some things out."
"Natsu wait—"
"I need to figure these things without you…"
'Without me'… I replayed those two simple words over and over inside my head.
The warmth that his body had been providing me with suddenly disappeared and I was left feeling empty, cold and bitter. My eyes were burning, hurting with the need to release the tears that I was trying to hold back.
"If that's what you need…" I said feeling nothing but hollowness lacing every single word. I tried to swallow but it was something impossible to do with the lump I felt in my throat. I felt like I was suffocating, my esophagus constricting every time I tried to make the lump go away. I looked up at Natsu who just simply looked at me with a defeated face… like almost as if he couldn't believe I was letting this get this far.
I couldn't believe I was letting this happen either.
What was the point of not crossing that line if I was losing him anyways?
Yet the words still left my mouth.
"If that's what you need then yeah… it's what's best for now…" I felt a single tear fall from my eye. "Besides I also have things I need to deal with on my own."
"…"
He shook his head at me and waved me off.
"Fuck it…"
I watched his form disappear from my line of vision… he was walking away from me, no goodbyes, no promises of making up tomorrow.
What was I doing with my life?
I feel like don't belong anywhere and that I just lost the one place where I did.
I stood there, frozen in place, muscles unmoving, paralyzed to the core as reality hit me straight in the face.
Natsu is gone…
I failed him… I failed us.
I should have stopped that kiss. I should have remembered the thin line between friendship and relationship. The line that defines it all…
I'm terrified and I can't breathe.
I don't know what's going to happen now…
I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore or who I'm even trying to protect…
How could a simple kiss do all of this in such a short amount of time?
Who was I even kidding? None of this had been simple since the very beginning and I knew that.
The kiss was the final crack on the concrete wall that destroyed the dam.
It's been a week and my resolved was broken.
It was about twelve in the afternoon and cold despite the sun shining brightly outside.
I bet your wondering where it is that I'm at. Well, I'm where I should have been all along… where I should have been at those three months ago.
Natsu's apartment, I was standing right here in front of the building's double doors that would lead me to the inside.
I needed to apologize to him.
What's the point in not exploring what we could have if the friendship I was trying to save isn't there anymore? What's holding me back? Nothing, nothing was holding me back except my mind that was filled with pitiful excuses.
I was done drowning in my endless denial.
I took in a deep breath, the butterflies attacking me unrelentlessly but I had to do this.
I needed to see him and show him just how remorseful I truly was.
I stepped inside and made my way to the elevator; once it glided open I immediately pressed the button that had the number six on it. I found that I couldn't stand still. My mind was being onslaught with all sorts of questions of 'what if'.
What if he wasn't alone?
What if Lisanna is there?
What if it's too late?
What if he hates me?
What if… what if… what if… what if… WHAT IF!
Screw all of those what ifs.
I blew a raspberry as I slapped my cheeks simultaneously in an effort to stop panicking. I could hear the ding signaling that I was finally at my destination and I immediately stepped out as soon as the doors glided open.
As I reached the door with the number 6-0-7 written on gold plaque I could hear some shouting.
"I'm going out! Juvia wants to watch the new movie Frozen at her place!"
It was Gray's voice that I was currently hearing from behind the door, I could hear a someone mumbling back to him, it was clearly Natsu before Gray shouted back at him again.
"Alright stay safe retard!"
The door was abruptly opened wide as I held my fist in the air with the intent on knocking. Gray froze as he stared down at me. Boy was this awkward…
"Lucy… Uhm, what are ya—"
"Yes, I'm here to speak to Natsu if that's what you're wondering about."
He grimaced a bit before nodding his head. "He's in his room." He stepped to the side allowing me to enter the apartment. First thing I noticed was the smell of cigarettes was no longer present inside their humble abode, actually the place now smelled like vanilla mixed with probably Pine-Sol. Not only that but the entire kitchen and living room area were spotless. My mouth dropped opened as I admired the place that looked so different now with all the garbage, leftover food and plates, clothes and beer bottles scattered around gone and let's not even mention on how the stereo was actually turned off at the moment so silence was completely overtaking the apartment.
"Wow…"
"Yeah, Natsu's been rather busy lately, he did all of this." I looked at him as he pointed at everything around him. "Well, I mean I helped a bit but he was pretty adamant on doing it all himself."
"Why would he—"I let the sentence die slowly in my mouth when I looked at Gray, whose face let me know why Natsu was doing this.
Of course it had to do with our fight and the way we had parted.
After that he waved at me and closed the door behind me. I was all alone standing in the doorstep. I took of my shoes leaving them by the door. It was weird how silent the apartment was at the moment and I found myself missing the blasting rock music and Natsu popping out of the hallway to greet me.
I'm more than positive he knew I was here… inside his home right now.
Just to know that he was just a couple of steps away.
It was when the soft noise of music playing in the background that I snapped out of my stupor and began making my way towards his room. I knew the song that was currently playing, it was one of Natsu's and I favorite songs.
I Hate You by Sick Puppies.
My feet dragged themselves on the wooden floor. His door was opened midway. The song becoming more evident as I got closer to the door with each step I took.
Every time I end up breaking you
You change into
Something worth keeping
Every time I'm close to saving you
You grow into
A sin worth believing
You're everything I ever wanted but
It's never enough
You're never enough
I reached the door and peeked inside. Natsu was currently sitting on the floor bobbing his head to the lyrics coming out from the speakers. He had his books stacked around him the only light in the room was the one coming from his window.
I'll take whatever I can take
Whenever I can take it
If it ever comes
I wanted to stand quietly for a minute as I observed him. he started bobbing his head faster once the chorus started playing. Hell, even I couldn't help myself and bobbed a bit since this was one of my favorites.
I hate you when you're gone
I hate you turn me on
I hate the way I need you when
I don't know where you are
I love it even more
When I find you on the floor
I know you think you hate me
But I will always hate you more
I couldn't help but lip-sync the lyrics. I was actually getting quite into it till Natsu's low and hoarse voice interrupted me.
"You love this song… don't ya Luce?"
I never knew until I got a taste
What a waste
For what I had been through
'Cause nothing ever really makes that change
I'm so ashamed
Of what I did to you
I had to let you in to feel that rush
You were too much
Way too much
"Yeah…"
"You know I knew you were standing there you're not the greatest hider in the world." He looked over his shoulder for a bit before turning back around.
"Why are you here?" he said next.
"Uhm, where is Lisanna?"
There was silence for a minute before Natsu spoke again.
"You know there was never nothing serious there... She's gone, over and done with. Now answer me, why are you here?"
I felt relief even if I still didn't know what to tell Natsu.
By now it was just the chorus playing from the song. I fumbled a bit trying to find the correct words to say to him but just decided to be up front and honest about it because really when it mattered one could never find the correct words.
We could only just hope that whatever it was that we said the other person would be able to catch the actual truth behind the words spoken and know what it was that you meant.
We all just hope to be understood by another human in levels that nobody else could.
"I came here because I wanted to see you…"
I'm sorry…
"Don't ya think it's rather late for that?"
"I miss you…"
I'm so, so sorry.
"You haven't even called me once during this entire week why come now?"
"I'm so—"
In a moment Natsu was standing pointing a finger at me angrily, my apology dying in my mouth.
"You gotta be freaking kidding me right now!" he yelled at me then threw his arms in the air as he shook his head. "A whole week… it's been a whole week that has passed and NOW is when you decided to turn up?"
"Natsu—"
"No, you can't do this to me Lucy! You made your decision!"
He walked closer towards me till we were face to face. Being this up close and personal allowed me to really get a good view of him. He looked tired with bags under his eyes, the bit of hair he has was a mess and pointing in all directions. He was wearing a black tank top; actually he was wearing the same tank top that I had bleached by mistake leaving it with different spots of orange and cream all over when I had first attempted to wash clothes. His gray sweatpants were hanging low on his hips and I could see that apparently he wasn't wearing anything under either.
He was commando.
"I spent an entire week with my thoughts eating me alive, I couldn't get you out my fucking mind!" he used his index finger to point as his temple to emphasize his point before speaking again. "And not once, not once did ya call and now that you need somebody or you realized how much of a convenience I am to you you decide to look for me? Let me guess, is sorry supposed to fix all of this shit up?"
I slowly shook my head at him while I felt tears rolling down my cheeks.
Something told me that this was it.
I felt empty realizing that I was probably going to lose him forever or that things between us would never go back to how they were.
But that's the thing… I didn't want things to go back to how they were before I wanted something more, something different and I had to voice that out.
I wanted to just go up to him and hug him, kiss all his frustrations away but the way he was looking at me just left me rooted to my spot. I was afraid of facing his rejection if I did anything now.
"Can we just… just please talk about this?"
He backed off a bit before running his hands down his face. I could see him peeking through his fingers; his eyes were unfocused but filled with pain.
"I'm gonna shower and we could talk after I'm done."
I slowly nodded my head while he just waltzes past me. I could faintly hear some rustling about in his closet before the door to the bathroom was closed with a bang that made me flinch in my spot. As I heard the water running I decided to lose the blue sweater I had on leaving me in only my baby blue tank top and white shorts. I looked around his room noticing that he also cleaned it up. The floor, dresser and nightstand were spotless and shiny. Really the only mess in the room was the books that he had stacked around close to the stereo and his bed that looked like someone had recently been lying down over the covers leaving a dent.
Natsu cleaned don't get me wrong but not to the point of everything being completely spotless.
I could hear something vibrating and realized it was coming from his phone that was on his nightstand next to the purple mixed with green and yellow lava lamp that was also currently turned on.
I was tempted for a moment to go over and see who was trying to reach him but the song that started playing next distracted me away from that idea.
It was a Placebo song… I remembered when I had introduced the band to Natsu and he had dismissed them calling it gay yet here was one of their songs playing.
I'll be your water bathing you clean
The liquid piece
I'll be your ether you'll breathe me in
You won't release
Well I've seen you suffer, I've seen you cry the whole night through
So I'll be your water bathing you clean
Liquid blue
I'll be your father, I'll be your mother,
I'll be your lover, I'll be yours
I'll be your father, I'll be your mother,
I'll be your lover, I'll be yours.
As the song kept playing I began to take off my socks and clothes staying in only my undergarments. Words could only say so much it was all about actions.
Actions defined everything.
I needed to show Natsu how much I loved him and there was really only one thing I really wanted to do at the moment and that was to kiss him and give him all of me. With all the courage I could summon at the moment I made my way to the bathroom flung the door open then stepped under the running water. Natsu had currently been washing his head; he stopped midway to stare at me with his hands still on his head. The soap made its way down his face and body and it just hit me then and there that he was naked and I was just two pieces of clothing away to matching him.
I could still hear the song playing in the background as I just stood there staring at him.
It was now or never Lucy Heartfilia.
"Lucy, what the hell are you doing?" he gave me a once over before speaking again. "And where are all your clothes? Just, what the hell!?"
Then without any warning I closed the gap between us, I grabbed his face with both of my hands and smashed our lips together. Natsu albeit a bit shocked at first recovered rather quickly and soon groaned melting into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me flushed against him.
I let my hands wander, I let them caress his arms, scratch down his back and then squeeze his butt. I was needy, so needy for him and it was overwhelming.
This kiss was exactly everything that I had been missing.
Screw not wanting to cross over to the other side of that line because this right here was what was needed.
So much passion mixed with desperation and hunger. I felt hands caress my back then they went lower and lower till they squeezed my ass then they gripped onto my thighs lifting me up to which I immediately let my legs wrapped around his hips and I could feel his cock poking right at my core in this position. I couldn't help but roll my hips and grind on it causing a few whimpers to leave my mouth as well as his groans.
Natsu broke the kiss right after that but not without hissing as he grinded back. using all of the strength I had in my thighs I moved a bit more against him as he held me in his arms clearly trying to control himself from my attacks but failing miserably as I could feel how much he wanted me from how hard he was.
"We can still stop…" he said to me at that moment. "You can still stop this and we can try to go back to how we were… we can still stop."
He closed his eyes as I began to take my bra off. His breathing was harsh and I knew he was still trying to respect me even though we both knew where exactly I wanted to take this. He spoke again, this time more quietly. "Once we crossed that line there's no going back Lucy… you know that right?"
I answered him the only way that I could.
I shifted a bit in his arms as I reached down between me and him, thank god that I chose to wear a g-string today because that made all of this that much of an easier task.
My hand made contact with his heated, hard-on and Natsu closed his eyes as he tilted his head back against the tiled shower wall and groaned. I stroked it once, twice before moving up and placing the head at my entrance. To this he opened his eyes he was about to speak but the words died in his throat as a groaned escaped instead as I just took all of his girth in one go. I let my forehead touch his as we groaned together, our voices mixing with noise of the water hitting the tiled floor.
It felt so good.
It was unexplainable the pleasure that was coursing through me at the moment.
He was simply intoxicating.
Here, right now in the small confinement of the shower I was making love to him and I needed him to know that.
"I need you…" I said as I rolled my hips and with the support of his hands under my thighs I moved up and sank back down hard. Natsu's eyes lowered to half mast as he stared at me with wanton and lust. He was biting his lip to try and hold his moans back but I wanted none of that.
"Nobody makes me feel this way…" I repeated the action again causing Natsu to choke on air.
"I love you and only you…" I repeated it once again but this time we both moaned loudly because he moved with me plunging deep into me.
"You keep talking that way and I'm gonna finish way too early for either of us to be satisfied." He whispered in my ear. I could only moan and whimper as he kept thrusting into me over and over again.
Jesus Christ he was amazing at this, my body was putty in his hands and he was handling me however he wanted to. His hand grabbing my ass firmly as he lifted me and slammed me back down on his cock.
"Oh fuck… Natsu… right there baby."
I was blubbering mess but I think that he loved knowing he was the one making me become this undone.
We switched positions and I could feel my back collide with the tile wall, a shiver going through me at how cold it was. He spread my legs a bit more and thrust into me hard and deep. I could feel his panting breaths on my ear as he spoke to me.
"Ngh… I love you…" he delivered a particularly hard thrust next making me see stars. "You're mine now and I'm never letting you go I hope you know that."
He thrust in me hard again and I could feel the heat pooling in my core becoming too much and I was so close… so close to tipping over the edge.
Everything was becoming too much, I knew that by now the water was probably cold but I couldn't even feel the difference with all the heat me and him were sharing. My hands clinging onto his back for dear life as he went inside me time and time again without abandon.
I knew I was a goner when I felt his index and middle finger beginning to rub my clit.
I hit my climax and I screamed out his name as my nails scratched all the way down his back. I could feel my insides spasm and clench as my orgasm hit me hard, then I heard my name leave his lips in a broken groan as he too finished.
We held onto to each for awhile just standing under the water enjoying the feel of being in each other's arms. We would probably have to both take a shower now but honestly that was the least of my worries.
Because after all the denial and frustrations I finally had the man I loved.
"You better not do that again Lucy…I'll be damn if I let you pull some shit like that again!" I heard him muffle into my ear before placing a quick kiss on it.
I chuckled and I held on tighter.
Natsu pulled away first as he gently let me place my feet on the floor. My legs felt numb and I wobbled a bit but other than that I was fine besides Natsu looked quite pleased with himself when I stumbled a bit not that I really cared, I was satiated and content at the moment.
He washed my hair and body for me and I did the same for him. After we dried ourselves he picked me up and carried me all the way to his bed where he dumped me on it quite ungracefully. He had the biggest grin on his face as he pulled the covers back and got in bed with me.
I couldn't care less that we were both naked.
I was just glad that he was still here with me.
He wrapped his arms around me and snuggled real close to me and as I drifted off to sleep I just knew that everything between us would be fine.
That they would be okay and nothing was more satisfying than that.
Boy was I glad that I had crossed that line.
OH MY GOD! Boy did this take me long too write! To be fair this random one shot can be blame on the two songs I put near the end. I just heard them and for the life of me I couldn't get this out of my head so I just did what I do best… I typed up a one-shot.
Please no flames because of Lisanna and in case anybody wonders, no, nothing ever happened between Natsu and Lisanna. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this. This is my second lemon, well sort of because it's not as descriptive but I'll get better with time. Let me know what you think.
ENJOY!