Disclaimer: I do not own the greatness that is Criminal Minds!
Penelope had remembered the lyrics like the back of hand or the pattern of her favourite skirt. They were ingrained like torture and they burnt over and over again. The thing that hurt her more was the fact that each word was significant, poignant and one hundred percent correct.
So here she was, sitting in front of a mirror and her heart was breaking over and over again, shattering more than it had been. All because the man she truly loved had told her what he wanted for her. How he wanted her to live. How he wanted her to have what he was certain he couldn't give her.
So she'd done as he wanted, even though it was nothing that she wanted.
Comparisons are easily done You said move on
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know
She stared at her hair as it sat perfectly, in a hair style that he hated, her makeup done how he had told her he disliked, and to be honest she hated it all, everything down to the dress, down to her life. She ran a hand over head, pulling the pins out, letting the curls fall freely.
Kevin Lynch loved her hair in that style and loved the makeup she had on and now she was undoing it all. She tore at her hair making it fall down into its perfected curls, and she smeared the plum lipstick off her lips with the back of her hand. Grabbing a wipe that JJ had left she began to take the makeup off, making her face an empty palette.
Sucking in a deep breath she took the wonky veil from the reign of hair and threw it across the room. She then got up and grabbed her bag, rummaging around she pulled out her makeup bag, settling down she applied it slowly and precisely.
Smacking her lips together she felt a bit of ease settle over her, the ruby redness shining, she got on with applying the rest and when she was done she felt like her. Like Penelope Garcia, not something someone else had made her.
Now she sat with her hair how she liked it, her makeup how she'd taken years to perfect and for once she smiled, Penelope Garcia was coming to the surface.
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Penelope remembered the night before last, her and Kevin had once again been intimate but as she looked at him, her mind swam elsewhere, swam to a man that was of different race, different body type, different humour, different kindness, to a totally different person.
Their eyes were different, their lips were different, their face shapes were different, the feel of them moulding into her body were different. Kevin Lynch was just not Derek Morgan and he never would be.
Kevin was still immature, still in student mode, still yet to grow up. Derek Morgan was stoic and bold and every inch of him begged to be noticed.
You're like an Indian summer He kissed my lips
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise centre
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself
The knock at the door knocked Penelope from her thoughts, from her disgust at herself, from thinking of the love she had with her best friend.
'You decent?' Kevin's mother's voice spoke through the door. Penelope didn't even have chance to answer before the door swung open and she walked in. 'Are you...' She froze and stared at her. 'What have you done?'
'To?'
'Yourself.' She said and Penelope just stared at her. Her hatred for the one woman growing more and more with each passing second. Kevin's mom was not fat, more round, Penelope would compare her size with it but the clothes the older woman wore did not do anything to enhance her better assets.
Penelope would enhance her cleavage, or outline her waist, or show off her legs in killer heels but this woman wore the label frumpy to an absolute T and if anything Penelope got annoyed rather than try to help.
She sighed life was going to be an uphill battle after today.
You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lessons learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know
Penelope didn't answer, she just stood up and walked out of the room, sliding on the white gloves as she went, she stood outside of the white doors, beyond it were their guests, if Penelope could take a guess around 5% were hers, 95% were Kevin's.
This wasn't her day, this was Kevin's day, she wasn't in the right mind and even now with Emily and JJ fluttering around her, pushing the dress into shape, tidying bits of lace away, making sure the corset was set right, that it fit right, that there were no curls out of place, Penelope stared off.
2 days earlier her best friend was shot, he was still in hospital and after arguments with not only him but Kevin, the wedding was still underway. Derek's reasoning was that her future husband needed her, she needed to start the new chapter of her life and Kevin's reasoning was that his was her future husband not Derek fucking Morgan.
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...
stay....
Derek wasn't going to save the day; even if he could he wouldn't destroy her future like that. He wasn't going to bust in like the noir hero she claimed him to be and he wasn't going to carry her off on a dark horse like her Prince Charming.
He wasn't going to be there at all.
So she turned from the white doors in front of her and busted out of the church and broke into a run.
A/N: So there it is, the beginning of this story!
Song- Katy Perry- Thinking Of You