A/N: Okay, be nice. First attempt at a non-twilight fic. Leave thoughts in reviews please. May do another Seddie.

Summary: Takes place just before and during iOMG….describes certain events, so yes, there are spoilers. Sam's brain; she's matured a bit, but her thoughts are everywhere and confused.

He picked up his camera, making sure everything was perfect, that there wasn't a spot of dust anywhere on it.

Nerd.

He called to Brad to come and hold it while he smoothly hooked up the two laptops with the Pear Pod and Pear Pad, not even hesitating. And why should he, when he knew exactly what he had to do.

Tech-geek.

He laughed at something Brad said, letting himself really laugh, like he never did around me.

Cute.

I open the door, smiling, and ask if they need anything. Brad says no thanks, so I turn to the other one, whose eyebrows are furrowed in concentration as he stares at me. I ask again, and confused, he mentions some cords he left at the studio. My grin grows just slightly as he uses the tech-terms I don't understand, and I nod. He looks wary, waiting for me to hurt him.

Why don't I want to hurt him?

His quirks, his suspicions. Why does it hurt now that he doesn't trust me? Why did I feel bad when he assumed something was wrong just because I was being nice? Why was I secretly sad when he runs out with his laptop to find Carly?

"It said 'In Love'," she says. I freeze. Is that what this is? Is that what's been haunting me? Of course, I deny that it's right. And in a way, I'm telling the truth. She thinks I love Brad. So Brad can make fudge. So what? I can't make him tick. He doesn't fight back.

I don't love Brad.

The two of us are waiting for the tech-head to come back. He does come in, followed by her. I look at him, but he looks everywhere but at me. He rants on about some two-headed frog.

Dork.

He leaves, and I want to follow, but I don't move until Brad shrugs and starts to the door. She stops us, and suddenly, I know what she's doing. I'm sad, but mostly that he helped her.

I find her, and we argue. I'm not happy with her. She's so sure of herself, and of his app. I leave, knowing she wouldn't like the truth. I don't.

Or do I?

I'm hiding. But he knows me too well. I'm hiding, but he finds me. And he came alone. He wanted to come. He brings up his birthday card when I deny hating him. It makes me sad that he didn't see the code, the code that began one random night in a cold fire escape. I get mad when he says she's right. I really don't want to hear him tell me to go after someone else.

I don't want someone else.

He's not threatened by me. It's too important to him to say this. He talks to me in a gentle voice. He's never talked to me this way before. He never has, and it's killing me. I like it, though, and I like the way he's leaving Brad's name out.

I can't take it anymore, and I pull it to him to me.

I kiss him.

I've thought about this. I hated myself about it. But now, I'm glad I've done it. Every kiss I've had compared to him, to the first time. No, didn't compare. Couldn't compare.

But this time is different.

He's not responding.

I pull away, conflicted. I see his face is the same as mine. He's stuttering, and I'm not sure what to do.

"Sorry," I say. He tells me it's cool, but I can tell his thoughts are flying. Ironic.

Mine are finally clear. After so long, I'm finally sure.

I'm in love with Freddie Benson.