Three times Sheldon Schlepper proposed and the one time Emily Davis did.
//
i. (a.k.a – strike one)
He had been waiting for this day. It was supposed to the kind that was tinged with every color of the rainbow and had a ton of happiness liberally sprinkled all over it. (Like a lovely little angel cake and boy does he love those with their awesome rainbow sprinkles)
And honestly speaking, he'd never meant to do anything out of the ordinary, okay he'd never meant to do anything Schlepper-like cause let's face it, anything out of the ordinary was so his thing. He blames the whole fiasco on the fact that Emily was wearing a dress. Well not just any dress. It was the dress. (Don't you get the point; he's not talking about weddings!) The dress which made her look like a princess who had stepped out of a fairytale world to go to the prom with him, just so that he could die happy.
Originally he'd meant to exit gracefully. Bid Emily goodbye in the most charming way possible, just like the guys in those back and white movies who mouthed pithy one liners that invariably made the ladies swoon. He would be smooth, suave and charming, everything he usually was not so when he left for Newfoundland, Emily would cherish the fondest memories of him as her knight in shining armor to her pretty princess in a beautiful prom dress. It was the perfect plan. And it would have gone off without a hitch (a first for him) but then something went and messed it all up.
He saw her in the dress, a confection of sea foam green, with small little twinkling sequins sewed onto it, which made her look ethereal. His brain fell all the way to his feet, turned into mush and skulked off to the side to hide for the night so for the rest of the night, he Sheldon Schlepper was without the ability to think. This is what led to following things.
a. He lost his fine motor co-ordination skills, which meant that all the practicing in front of the mirror was for vain cause he stepped all over Emily's feet anyways. Which she totally forgave him for, because she said and he quotes, "you look adorable as a button." Okay that wasn't a disaster but the second one is.
b. He spilt punch on of Max's football buddies and spent a good half an hour hiding in the restrooms. He then remembered that he left Emily hanging and came out to find her dancing with Sam looking a tad miffed. He had to apologize and promise to dance all the slow dances, even the lame ones before she deigned to bestow her dazzling smile on him.
c. This was the worst one of all. Cause at the end of the prom he actually went a little ballistic and did the craziest thing ever. He proposed to Emily.
Yeah, so he proposed to Emily and Emily turned him down like any right minded sixteen year old girl would cause hello, the current plan was to pass the grade, not worry about flowers and hurried shotgun wedding cause he had a feeling if Emily had accepted her father would have hunted him down with shooting rifle and pumped his body full of bullets which would mean that he would have to marry Emily at least before he died.
Cause he's totally the type of guy who likes honoring his commitments regardless of the consequences which in this case was death by hunting rifle. And really he didn't mean to propose, it's just that there was Newfoundland and then there was Emily in sea foam green and honestly could you blame him for wanting to stay with the sea foam green?
But the night doesn't end in a disaster because Emily gives him one of those toe-curling kisses which tells him she hasn't taken the proposal badly and maybe there is a chance that she might wait for him.
He's totally cool with that.
ii. (a.k.a – strike two.)
It's a little annoying that his family decides to move back to Toronto just when he leaves for college. But at least instead of talking to Emily through the phone and webcams, he gets to talk to her face to face. So when he comes home for winter break, he decides that he needs to surprise Emily and pay her a visit. He spends one hour on his hair and the next hour trying to pick flowers from his garden for her, never mind the fact that his mother has given him explicit instructions not to raid her flower bed.
Well, he's sticking it to the man and his mother by doing just that. That's for moving to Toronto Ma, especially when he has to leave in the next few days.
He ends up at Emily's house and just when he's rung the door bell, he discovers he's too chicken to met her, (what if there's a boyfriend, and a cool one at that, so unlike Sheldon) and he's just about to bail when Emily opens the doors dressed in sweats and a ratty old tee-shirt with stringy hair, looking like her heart would break. Sheldon takes a deep breath and composes himself because he may have just seen the most unhygenically beautiful person ever. He thrusts the flowers at her and smiles like an awkward idiot. The resultant happening is that Emily throws herself into his arms and sobs onto his flannel shirt and as he bemusedly leads her back in and onto the couch, he thinks that he may have come at a bad time.
But Emily clings on like a limpet—a very pretty limpet and pretty soon he's bringing her a cup of hot chocolate with whipped crème and listening to all about how Robbie Anstey is a two-faced jerk and a few other words that make him turn pink and when Emily finally finishes crying, he's lost control of his mouth and blurts out the first thing that comes to his brain.
"Marry me." He then slaps himself on the forehead. What is with him and on the spot crazy proposals? Is there a cure for a teenage boy who suffers from the bad habit of awkward proposals at the wrong times disease. He doesn't know. He'll just go Google it afterwards though. There's always an answer there.
"I am sorry. You don't have to marry me. But why don't you go have a bath and we'll go and see Derek at Smelly Nellie's and tease him about Casey." This time he makes more sense and Emily's smile goes from confused to amused and she leans over to give him a peck on the cheek.
"I have missed you something fierce Sheldon Schlepper." He grins and she shoots him another smile before cringing in distaste after looking at herself and takes off up the stairs to scrub away the grime of a break-up gone bad.
Never mind about crazy proposals and what not.
That's what it's all about, right there.
iii. (a.k.a – strike three.)
//
Sheldon has never been much for poetry slam nights or whatever. He just doesn't get it. Sometimes, there are guys who spout such nonsense and then there are the girls who do weird stuff like putting paper bags on their head and reciting stuff. Whatever happened to just clean-cut recitals, with no fancy shennanigans? But it's Casey's performance night—they study at the same university and Sheldon is ruing the day he ever chose this university because now Derek keeps calling him all the time to keep tabs on Casey because god forbid he show that he actually cares, even though he's in the same university as Casey!—and regretfully, Sheldon is there whiling away time—coughspyingcough— on Casey and also subtly trying to get some studying done.
He'll say one thing for these poetry places though. They serve some good coffee, not the sludge mix his Pol Science club tries to pass off as coffee.
But it's difficult to concentrate on world politics when Mr. Too Cool to Admit He's Madly In Love with Casey, keeps nudging him every five seconds.
It's funny how college brings everyone together, regardless of the fact that in high school, cool divisions kept you way apart. For instance, Sheldon Schlepper and Derek Venturi. In high school, that would have been impossible. In college, it's a burden Sheldon must bear because he's finally found someone more aggravating than him.
"What Derek?" Sheldon bursts out in annoyance after Derek nudges him for the umpteenth time.
"There's this guy who keep's looking at Casey. Scope him out for me will ya?" he says casually before going back to his, no wait Sheldon's banana nut muffin. Sheldon is about to sock him one in the head—because he's just about had it and his pop quiz tomorrow isn't going to wait for him— when Derek says something else.
"Oh look, Emily is here. Hey Em, over here!"
Derek Venturi and his admittedly awesome banana nut muffin can go hang. Now to the real matter at hand. Where's Emily Davis?
Oh there she is, looking very pretty with her profusion of curls. Sheldon sighs happily.
Some school crushes never do go away fully.
//
"Hi Sheldon!" Emily greets him enthusiastically and Sheldon can find himself smiling happily for the first time in the evening since he found out he had an impromptu meeting with Derek Venturi at the Coffee Leaf.
"Derek. Still stalking Casey I see." She says with a wicked grin. And Emily and Sheldon share a good laugh as Derek splutters vehemently that he's not in anyway stalking Casey and that he's only here for the pretty girls and of course to poke fun at Casey.
But the blush is telltale enough and besides that excuse got old in a hurry.
It's an awesome evening and Sheldon laughs and talks about old memories with Emily, completely closing out Derek and it's only at the end of the night he realizes that –shit! He's forgotten to study for the pop quiz tomorrow, the one that will account for twenty percent of his final grade in his Political Science paper and then he wont get his degree that says he graduated and he will never make it to the Congressional office because they will look at his college records and reject him on the basis of that.
It's takes a while to stop him but Emily eventually does and when she does, she calms him down and offers to help him study. Sheldon's too flustered to notice however that this is the first time he'll be spending time alone with a girl ever since he came to college. (It's been seven months and there have been a few girls but somehow he feels really shy in front of them and they have ridiculously straight her and it's not natural you know? But then again he's always been a one woman kind of a guy and really and he needs to study!)
And so he does.
With Emily's able assistance of course.
//
It takes some concentrated cramming aided by some really strong coffee, with plenty of chicory but by four in the morning, Sheldon is finally done and he's also revised because every time he looked like was nodding off (because coffee can help you only so much) Emily prodded him awake and then after he was done, ran him through a whole set of flash cards she made as she helped him study.
Maybe it's the strong coffee and the lack of sleep or maybe it's just the cold wind in the air—Ontario is pretty cold at this time of the year –so once again his mind bails on him before he knows it, he's blurting out that well worn phrase,
'You're so awesome. Will you marry me?"
Emily however doesn't take offence and that's one of the things that keeps him going because she never seems to whenever he blurts out his crazy proposals. Instead she laughs and drops a kiss on his head.
"Go to sleep Schlepper, it's the coffee talking." She tucks him into bed and then leaves after he finally falls asleep.
Maybe some day when she knows that what she feels is a certainty and not the remnant of a teenage relationship.
But for now, she waits and she watches as she tries to figure out the jumble in her head.
iv. (a.k.a – home run)
//
It's almost the end of college and finals are here and Sheldon finds that his days now consist solely of coffee, a hastily grabbed sandwich, pages and pages of notes and lots of midnight oil. It's one vicious cycle and he cant wait for it to be over because he's knows that he'll be very happy when the finals end, so much so that he won't even care if he passes or fails.
Of course he does care but it's the principle of thing in saying it isn't it?
//
He's feverishly going through notes for his Sociology exam and his head is a whirl of numbers and stats but even through all that confusion he can't help but hear some commotion happening in the hallways. And just because he needs a break desperately, never mind the fact that he'd going to regret it later on, he goes out to see what it is.
And there in the hallway of his dorm, there is this girl with a violin. She's playing and dear lord his ears are hurting because the violin is wailing as if there were someone being done to death with a very blunt knife. Her hair is frizzy—when it gets too cold, her hair takes on a life of it's own. Of course he thinks it's adorable because he's a sap like that.
Anyhow, her voice is way off key but the sight fills Sheldon with joy because she's singing about a proposal and he's glad that this is the one time he's not the one saying it because he was quickly getting tired of the embarrassment of blurting out stuff.
"Erm, Emily? It's pretty cool that you are singing and I for one would love to hear you continue. However my dorm mates aren't going to be so appreciative because it's final's night you know. They are running on coffee and more coffee , so they just might start pelting stuff at you and while I do not approve of such shameful behavior on their part, I don't want to see you get hurt by fairly accurately hurled projectiles, seeing as you just might be the love of my life and all."
Has a speech ever made him feel so self-conscious?
Nope, he can't even remember a time when he felt embarrassed.
It's like somebody skipped out on putting the feel embarrassment gene in his body y'know.
"That's all I needed to hear Sheldon," she says brightly and it maybe the permanent brain damage caused by studying but he's feeling mighty confused and he doesn't know what she wanted to hear. His confusion must be pretty evident because she further elaborates.
"That you love me and all." And as of, now she's blushing and smiling.
"But I always loved you," Sheldon says in a matter of fact manner because you know, it was the truth after all.
"Yeah, but it's always nice to get confirmation after I realized."
Hoo boy. He's feeling a little faint. He's happy but he's a little giddy—both the meanings of the word apply here by the way. He sits down on a beanbag she thoughtfully pushes towards him.
"So, marry me Sheldon Schlepper," she says kneeling down and looking him in the eye.
"Of course. But after the exams finish and I get a job right?" He asks suddenly worried because he doesn't want to be like one of those student couples. He wants to be able to you know, do everything on a large and nice scale.
"Of course. Wouldn't have it any other way." She says smiling at him, and fingering the threads on his pajamas.
"But a kiss to seal the deal wouldn't go amiss right?" He's looking infinitely hopeful in the way that little boys do when they want something really, really badly.
"Like you even had to ask," she says and pulls him close. Somewhere someone is cheering them on and clapping because it looks like this time they finally got it right.
And that's how Emily Davis proposed and Sheldon Schlepper accepted.
I admit, I love Sheldon, how do you say it, from the bottom of my heart but my cowardly self never could get around to writing him. I never could do him justice anyway but then I'd been working on this for the past four months and I wanted to put it up. Because I heart Sheldon Schlepper. Plain and simple. Even if I cant write him. :D
Also a quick baseball terminology lesson. I'm sure there are many of you who know but I guess it can't hurt to state it. Strike out is when you don't hit the ball at all, and three strikes in a row mean you are out. Home run is when the batter is able to hit the ball and cover all the bases and return home. In any case, I figure it's supposed to be like winning or something. I of course know squat about baseball (wiki helped me out here) and the only reason I gave this a title like that was because I needed a title desperately. Why yes, I am that lame AND shameless.
Anyhow, I in no way own LwD or anything recognizable. And I in no way mean any offence to poetry slam events. They are not my views on the subject but fictionalized ones of the characters.